JINNIE

    My eyes fluttered open when the sun shone on my face, I could feel my throat drier than a desert and my head pulsing rapidly. I remembered the events that happened last night and suddenly my heart started the tighten.

“Why….isn’t…this coming off?” I softly whined to no-one in particular, trying to detach the stubborn seatbelt. All of a sudden, I felt Taehyung’s body hovered over and his face inching close to me. His scent was musky, it was sweet and pleasant that was hard to ignore. When eyes met, I felt my brain haywire at his beauty. Then his eyes flickered to my lips and in reflex, I tucked my lips together as he tilted his head closer to me. My eyes shut instinctively but when the image of Jimin’s warm smile popped into my head, I quickly turned my head away.

“I’m sorry…I can’t.” My words came out as a whisper, filled with regret and confusion.

I groaned at the memory, feeling the same regret from last night. Trying not to dwell on the feeling, I looked at my phone and it was already noon, way past my usual wake up time. Begrudgingly I dragged myself to get some water in the kitchen and along the way I went to check in with Sumi but found her room empty. She was supposed to be home but where is she? I took out my phone to see if she left me a message and in fact she did, it was a simple ‘I’m fine. Don’t worry’ was all I got. I sighed heavily knowing she was far from okay and she wanted to be alone but prying on it now would do her no good either, so I sighed in defeat as I continued my way to the kitchen.

    *DING* my phone notification went up while I was pouring myself some coffee. When I opened the message, I almost dropped my phone. I finally received the final version of the song that was about to be released in 2 days. Once we finished recording the song individually, the production team handled the rest of it so Taehyung and I weren’t able to listen to the full version of it. Not wasting anymore time, I connected my phone to the living room speaker and hit the play button.

When winter turns into summer

And spring turns into autumn

The only thing I wish for 

Is you in every season

But this life is not what we asked for

The only thing I wish that

Time will let our love last

Another day, another time

I let the lyrics enveloped the room and my heart, it’s melody was enough to make it quenched for love. I sang with the song as I started to dance in the room, I swayed my hands up and down, my body suddenly felt light and I was leaping across the room. 

If you ask me what my regrets are?

It would be nothing because

It all happened so we can meet

It all happened so we can love

    Overwhelmed by the emotions the song brought, I found myself panting for air when the song finally ended. The song was more beautiful than I’ve expected. I’ve written many songs but this hit too close to home. Suddenly my hungover is gone but it was replaced by the painful throbbing in my heart, the lyrics were a reflection to my feelings 4 years ago and right now. I settled down on the floor with my knees tucked to my chest and I began to sob all the pain away.

    After a bucket of tears and whining later, I found myself in the mini studio writing a new song. The good thing about having to experience emotions is that it produces great songs for me to write, but that doesn’t mean I was fond of the pain I was feeling. Busying myself with the keyboard, a notification popped up on my phone. I was hoping Sumi finally replied to my hundreds of messages but turned out to be Taehyung. Remembering about last night, I was worried that it would change the dynamics of our friendship. I felt too embarrassed to even read his message, I was a sobbing mess and I let him put up with it. On top of that, I rejected his kiss. Finally gather all my courage, I pressed on the message.

Hey Jinnie:) Are you home? -TAEddy Bear

Yes? -Jinnie

Ding dong. My doorbell went off and I was hoping it wasn’t who I thought it was because I basically have swollen eyes and my hair was a bird’s nest. I quietly ran to the door to peek at the intruder, I groaned at the sight of a well-dressed Taehyung. I eternally cursed all gods for making such a human being that handsome, while I cower to my bedroom to find something decent to wear. A few minutes later, I have my hair combed neatly to the side, a pair of sunglasses to cover my swollen eyes and a sundress to look half decent. Quickly running back to the door, the doorbell went off again but this time I was able to open the door for Taehyung. He was amid surprised at my sudden appearance while he evaluated me from head to toe.

“You’re dressed up. Going somewhere?” He chuckled while I stood there awkwardly.

“I’m always d-dressed like t-this.” Taehyung laughed as I internally scolded myself for stuttering, frowning I welcomed him in which he gladly accepted.

“Why are you here?” 

“Just wanted to check in and if you’re not so busy, I thought of taking you out to celebrate our song?” Taehyung smiled at me as if the almost kiss never happened. I was dumbfounded but also grateful that whatever happened last night did not hinder our friendship.

“That would be great.” My words did not hold anything but just appreciation of the man in fron