“You’re dressed in the same clothes as the night before.”

“I didn’t get the chance to change.”

“Were you out all night?”

“No, you of all people know that.”

Her manager sighed and rubbed his temple, pacing back and forth in front of Sowon. Sowon crossed her arms and leaned back, giving off an imposing aura with the way her eyes angled to look over at her manager.

“I’m sorry okay? The company is just worried.”

“It’s not fine to become a literal stalker. You saw me when I went to grab a drink, you told that convenience store boy to check my id, but too bad for you.”

“I know you needed to release some stress, Sojung ah.”

“Do not call me that.”

“Soj-“

Sowon raised her hand, efficiently silencing him before standing up.

“If you treat me like I’ve got an issue, I’m leaving.”

He sighed and nodded, pulling out his planner and sliding it across to Sowon. It was a rule for Sowon, her name was Sowon and nothing else when she was at work. Being in the company? At work. Posing in front of a camera, dressed in all sorts of fabrics and accessories? At work. Getting her schedule and a scolding from management, at work. Even if she knew that this was a sharp personality, she had to keep it this way because of the entertainment world. If she was weak, she’d topple far too easily.

“We have a fashion show this weekend.”

“Wasn’t it canceled?”

“No, they reached out to us again with the list of other attendees, your friend Nayoung is going.”

Nayoung, another model that Sowon had worked with before and held minimal contact with. It was mostly the company’s idea for publicity to have some interviews about private life things, but as always, private didn’t mean real. Still, she had an image to keep and a friendship to hold.

“Alright, which number am I?”

“Last, you’re the star, as they had said previously.”

“I see.”

Her manager seemed to want to say something else but didn’t, and Sowon didn’t have the energy to force it out.

“That’s all for today, right? I’ll be going back then.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

SinB sat curled up in the corner of her bed, her blanket kicked off to the side as she lay her head on her arms over her knees. What should she do? Jung Eunbi was among the list of many people she hadn’t planned on seeing again. Sighing deeply and letting out a frustrated growl, SinB lay down on her bed, sprawled out.

“If she wants anything, refuse. If you see her, don’t get set off. If you hear her, pretend you didn’t hear her. You can do it Hwang Eun…Bi.”

She slapped her cheeks twice, clearing her mind.

“You can do it SinB ah, it’s in the past. Don’t mind it.”

Now, to tell Yewon that she was feeling alright. Her friend had left her in the care of Sojung, but because SinB had locked herself in the room, Sojung couldn’t do much for her. She wanted to apologize for that too, she had caused a little bit of bother to her roommate, who was probably still worried for her. Texting Yewon, SinB looked to her door. It had sounded like Sojung had gone out earlier, and if she remembered correctly, Sojung was dressed in a different style than she was usually in. Her mind wandered as she appreciated how style and clothing can completely change one’s aura. Even if Sojung was as timid and quiet as before, the black shirt made her seem a little stronger, a little more in control.

Her eyes darted to her camera. Sojung wouldn’t let her take pictures of her, would she? Shaking her head with a smile, she caught her own reflection on the black screen of her sleeping laptop. Her smile slowly faded as she stared.

“You’re a better you than you were before.”

She slowly got off her bed, taking slow steps before her hand brushed the doorknob. The small tremor in her hand caused her to stop. Clenching her fist and holding the doorknob, she took a deep breath before opening it. The familiar sound of the front door opened and SinB looked up.

“Sojung unnie?”

Sojung quickly brushed her bangs back in place, giving a small smile to SinB.

“Y-you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

SinB’s smile was small, but it was a smile, nonetheless. Sojung had the urge to give SinB a hug, but she hadn’t given a hug in so long, she didn’t feel as though she could. Still, she walked closer and placed her hand on SinB’s shoulder.

“Um, you…you’re doing great.”

“Thanks, unnie.”

Sojung smiled as SinB’s smile grew bigger. Right, how long had it been since she had seen such an innocent smile? Subconsciously, her arms wrapped around SinB’s shoulders, drawing the younger girl closer.

“S-sorry if I’m making this weird.”

“It’s fine.”

SinB hesitated to hold onto Sojung, since her hands were still kind of, shaking. But when she did, SinB felt better instantly.

“But unnie?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you do as your job? You’re always out late and honestly, I’m a little worried.”

“Eh? Why would you be worried?”

SinB scratched her cheek, noticing that Sojung was still hugging her, not that she minded but, hugs between friends weren’t usually this long, were they? Or was SinB just out of the loop and friends now had conversations whilst hugging?

“Well, unnie is always hmmmm reacting like a small animal? Kinda, even if you’re older there’s this feeling like you need to be protected? I dunno, I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

Sojung chuckled a little, she supposed she was giving that kind of aura off, the way she stuttered, hunched over, careful of where she stepped.

“It’s part of my job to not tell anyone, but I assure you, that I get to and from work safely.”

“O-oh.”

Sojung finally let go of SinB, patting her head a little.

“Are you sure you’re okay though?”

Sojung sat at her desk, reading her texts for the next day’s reading exam and mini seminar. Participation was worth a lot of the grade, even more than saying the correct things, asking the right questions gave her more points. Shutting her book and flipping through her notebook, Sojung rubbed her blurry eyes, removing her glasses. Looking behind her, Sojung stared into the living room, slipping her glasses back on.

“SinB?”

SinB looked up from eating a tub of ice cream she had just brought back from the student store.

“Want some?”

Sojung smiled and shook her head but took a seat across from her.

“I’m just taking a break from homework, and well, you’re my only company.”

SinB grinned and ate another scoop of the cold, sugar filled confection.

“Then I’m glad to be of assistance! Unnie, tomorrow I have to go take pictures for Yewon’s class, do you want to come watch? They have an audience too, just like a real showcase!”

“I thought it was just modeling?”

SinB waved her spoon around as she explained how she had to take pictures for them in a studio setting, then in a showcase setting. They wanted the acting students to experience as many things possible to more easily act in the future, which was also why Yewon had to pay an extra fee where they paid for their outings and “experience trips”.

“I wonder if they do this because of the professor being young. I should ask Yewon how old he is next time.”

“Are you jealous of her?”

“Hmm not particularly, I mean, I guess I would be a little jealous at how many things they get to do, but I couldn’t afford it, to pay that extra fee. I wonder how the other acting kids do it? I don’t suppose everyone can pay for it, I mean Yewon’s dad’s a dentist and she’s a little worried about making her payments.”

Sojung felt a little concerned. When she learned a little bit of acting back in training, experience was really helpful, but that wasn’t all that was to acting. There were a few instances where she had a cameo in a few dramas as a model and walked for them, so she couldn’t exactly say that she truly knew how to act, but this was almost excessive.

“Do the students who can’t pay, stay and listen to lectures then?”

“I wonder? I mean they should, how else would they get credits?”

SinB put away her midnight snack and washed her stuff in the sink as Sojung continued to think at the dining table.

“Anyways, unnie? Will you come?”

SinB walked around the halls, looking at the papers pinned on the bulletin boards, looking out the windows. The statue out front of the school before the “grand” walkway, a gate that fenced them off to the outside as if they were criminals, but actually normal for an Asian school.

“Why am I here?”

Did she dream that she went to college? If that was so, then it was a very bad dream, for she had met Eunbi again. She even picked a far away college to get away from her life. Well, her current life if she was in high school. SinB walked to her classroom, hesitant to walk in, but it was empty, like the rest of the hallways.

“My desk…”

Her legs stopped her before she walked close enough to avoid the glare of the sunlight off the surface, she bit her lip as she remembered all the bad words, insults and false accusations, each permanently inked by cowards who never left their name. Still, she moved forwards, the sheen of sunlight sliding off the edge and yet again, the black inked nightmare fuel reappeared. She wanted to cry, but no tears came as she pulled her chair back, revealing the horrible state of her workbooks and textbooks.

Sitting down, she could feel a constriction around , her legs go numb in fear. A slight shift of the sunlight, indicating the passage of time, lands a small ray onto her hand that lay flat on the abused desk. SinB watched as the warmth that started in her hand spread to the desk, the words disappearing in a wave, realizing that this should be a dream, she had to say it out loud to leave, like all her usual dreams.

“This is a-“

A hand clasped over , but there was no one in the classroom when she entered, and not a single soul had entered behind her. Struggling to free herself, SinB pulled at the hand which no doubt had no arm, the classroom grew darker, the sunlight vanished. The words were back again, but bigger, darker, eerie.

Calm down, it’s just a dream, just say it is a dream and leave like usual SinB ah. But she couldn’t, and a voice began to whisper to her, saying those bad words to her, over, and over again.

You’re such a b*tch, you know that? ing wh*re.

“DREAM!”

SinB sat up in her bed, sweating heavily and panting. Her hand clawed at her shirt, as if she struggled in real life to breathe. It took her a while to realize that there was a knocking on her room door. Giving a quick glance to her tableside clock, she whined a little.

“Oh why is it 4 in the morning? Ugh stupid brain!”

Grumbling to herself, she opened the door with an apologetic look. Sojung worriedly gave SinB a once over but didn’t ask anything. SinB waited, but Sojung’s silence became enough for her to speak up.

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright, i-if you’re okay.”

“Yeah, just a bad dream, did I really scream that loudly? Should I go apologize to our neighbors?”

SinB scratched the back of her head nervously as Sojung continued to stare.

“N-no it’s fine, I was up doing stuff and I heard it, don’t worry, it wasn’t too loud.”

“Really? Thank god, it would’ve been real embarrassing.”

“Yeah.”

Sojung’s gaze was beginning to become uncomfortable, but SinB felt guilty of making her worried so she did her best not to be affected by it.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Was it a really bad nightmare?”

SinB looked up finally, catching Sojung’s eye. To Sojung, she must’ve looked like a mess, clothes ruffled, slightly sweaty and hair a mess.

“Nah, it was just cuz I was rolled up in my blankets all tangled up. Unnie should rest soon, class is in four more hours, right?”

Sojung nodded, but still looked at SinB. Even when SinB did her best to give a reassuring smile. Hearing Sojung sigh, made SinB feel a little disappointed in herself, she could have told Sojung, and maybe made it a little better on herself, but her stubbornness didn’t want to trouble Sojung.

“I’m sorry for getting into your personal bubble too much. Good night SinB.”

“Haha, it’s fine unnie. We should say good morning by now.”

Sojung gave a small smile.

“I’ll save that for when you wake up later.”

“O-ok.”

SinB thought Sojung was a little weird, but in a good kind of weird. Or maybe just she was weird. She splashed her face with some water and wiped her sweat up a little before going to bed again.

“Come on SinB, this is college now. You’re over it.”

==================

Please do tell if this needs a warning. I should prolly update the description yes, but then again, I at writing so it prolly doesn't even trigger people eh. but still to be safe right? I dunno, you tell me

and please use pretty words, it wounds me to use ugly words but as usual, I have no control over the story well drama in my head and I wanna be accurate

i wanna clarify, that sojung doesn't hate being sowon, but at the moment, she doesn't feel up to be sowon, and being overworked isn't helping that fact.

and lastly,

don't bully people! juzz dont. it's tiring to hate, lets be lazy and ignore, angry isn't good for your health!

tmi: is this my inner self getting revenge on me for not generating fluff....im sowwwieee