SinB sat down in the cafeteria, it was just a bit before lunch hour rushes and the breeze from the open doors chilled her just slightly. Hot coffee held between her hands, SinB blew across the surface as she waited to not burn her tongue. On this morning, Sojung had already gone out to work and it was officially break for the rest of the school. This one-week break was to allow for students and staff to take a break before the next quarter.

There were scarcely any students, but the cafeteria would still fill during lunch hour, as many parents and high school students came to visit the campus during this time in preparation for their futures and the like. Picking up her now not scalding hot coffee, SinB moved to take her daily walk. Without having to trudge to classes with a heavy backpack full of materials, she felt restless to just lay in bed all day long, and Sojung told her to go to the gym or do some morning exercise. She wasn’t extroverted enough to visit a gym but going on cold morning walks were fine enough for her.

It had crossed her mind, that she would meet people since she was outside, but with how happy her recent days had been, what with acceptance and forgiveness, SinB hadn’t thought too much about who she didn’t want to see.

“Eunbi ah.”

SinB stopped in her tracks, the chilly winter breeze slowly freezing her to her bones, but not as fast as that voice had to her mind.

“Eunbi ah can we talk?”

“About what?”

She had made up her mind that she wasn’t going to be dragged down by her past anymore, that was why she was able to make it here in the first place. Maybe she had become complacent because Sojung had gone everywhere with her in the last few days of the quarter, maybe she just shoved her anxieties to the side and never dealt with it.

“About what happened the other day.”

“You mean over a week ago?”

“Y-yeah, it’s just been weighing on my mind all this time. I guess it’s already been a week huh? Eunbi ah?”

SinB gripped her free hand into a fist but didn’t turn around.

“Eunbi ah, why aren’t you looking at me? Did I do something wrong?”

“Do something wrong?”

All of a sudden, a wave of anger passed through her, of all the things she had suffered in the past, and Eunha knew absolutely none of it? True, they hadn’t interacted at all after it had started, because SinB couldn’t bear to see the person she had gotten into trouble for. True, she hadn’t asked Eunha or told Eunha directly about the things she suffered, because how could she have? It was unreasonable, but a part of SinB found it to be infuriating, that Eunha would have never noticed their sudden distance before she had left for college.

“Did I?”

“How should I know?”

SinB forced her feet to move forwards, pulling her ahead and away from Eunha. What she said wasn’t a lie, she really didn’t know what had really happened for Eunha.

“Eunbi ah.”

“I don’t know, okay?”

“Does this have to do with leaving me alone when I was taking entrance exams?”

SinB blinked.

“Was it because I never called you after I finished the exams? I didn’t because I was too tired from them, and I figured you wouldn’t want me to wait for you after.”

“Wait- you-“

“Was it because I never contacted you again? I mean, I did try, but it never got through Eunbi ah, your mother wouldn’t let me talk to you. Is it about that?”

SinB finally turned around and looked at Eunha.

“What did you learn from my mother?”

“She said you were sick.”

SinB grit her teeth and her nails dug into her palms from holding back her shivering. If she could just hang on without breaking apart, ask one question that could clear the confusion up between them, maybe she could do something. SinB didn’t know whether knowing would give her strength or take it, but this was her chance, and she didn’t need to always depend on Sojung.

“What about the letter?”

“What letter?”

“You don’t know about the letter.”

“Like I was asking, what letter Eunbi ah?”

SinB looked at the ground, tears welling up in the corner of her eyes, as her held back a sob. There was the sound of running footsteps and she was then enveloped into a warm hug. But the person she was hugging, wasn’t shorter than herself.

“SinB? Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain.”

“Sojung unnie…”

Sojung panted lightly, her breath barely showing in the warming air as the sun rose closer towards the middle of the sky. Eunha stood aside awkwardly, holding her hands to herself after seeing Sojung come running to SinB’s side.

SinB sniffled, but held back the tears that would then stain Sojung’s jacket. Crying wasn’t going to solve anything right now. Eunha was there, and she never knew about the letter.

“The letter was a confession letter.”

Sojung looked confusedly between the two but stayed silently glued to SinB’s side.

“It wasn’t supposed to be seen by my classmates.”

Eunha was even more confused but Sojung helpfully interjected.

“The confession was for you, but someone took it and harmed SinB.”

Eunha stumbled back a few steps. Sojung narrowed her eyes a little, feeling skeptical of Eunha who she had never felt niceness from.

“Don’t tell me you’re those kind of people as well.”

“Those?”

“Your view on lgbt?”

“It’s fine.”

Then, Eunha made a soft oh sound. SinB rubbed at her eyes, clearing them of any leftover tears as Sojung fussed over her a little more. Slowly, Eunha pieced together everything.

“So, you mean to say, that you fainted out of fear because you-…….Eunbi ah…”

The safety of their dorm and Sojung’s warm blankets helped SinB keep herself together as Sojung had to leave again for work. She had gone straight back to campus for SinB when she was supposed to be on break, but she still had a whole day ahead of her. Eunha had thankfully, stepped away to think after her apology.

SinB knew that this apology was probably not the last she was going to receive from Eunha, she wasn’t that kind of girl and SinB knew it. Eunha would likely come up to her after finding everything out, whether by asking her directly, or looking back into their old friends from high school. Well, friends, but really, the people they used to be on good terms with, when Eunha was still there.

Tucking Sojung’s blanket around herself a little tighter, SinB was calm. Earlier, when they had returned to their dorm together, SinB had gone to wrap herself in her one blanket and sit in the corner of her bed until she had stopped shaking. Sojung, with a nagging voice, grabbed her arm and sat her on the couch in the living room, where the windows from the kitchen let in more light than the window in SinB’s room did. She also, pulled her own blanket and forced SinB to take it, because hers was “thicker” and much “warmer” than SinB’s, to which the latter could not refute.

Knees drawn up against her chest, SinB sighed softly. She had learned something that she had been unsure to seek. Eunha knew nothing about the love letter that she had left in her locker. SinB began to think about how exactly her letter hand fallen into bad hands, but a part of her also was looking to just let go and forget it all. She hadn’t run into any other classmates, nor anyone she was involved with back then aside from Eunha. Then again, if she didn’t clear her heart on the matter, there could be another day that would come that she could faint from a slight abrasion with another person.

“Wait, so you’re telling me, that someone broke into this Eunha sunbae’s locker and spread it’s contents everywhere and she didn’t know? As the recipient of the letter?”

SinB nodded, her hands a little shaky, but the hot chocolate that Yewon gave her was warming her up well.

“Did you not write her name on it?”

“I wrote it on the cover of the envelope.”

Yewon hummed and rubbed SinB’s back softly.

“I still don’t believe that she knew nothing. I saw how she was acting with you before she found out, before I found out. But, being skeptic of everything when you don’t have the strength to will just tire you out.”

SinB looked at Yewon carefully.

“We’ll leave it at this for now. The way things are, you don’t run into her more than you ever could as students on the same campus. You can take your time to get used to her, unless, of course, she seeks you out.”

Yewon shut herself up again and SinB remained quiet about it. If she asked, Yewon was unlikely to answer. If she did answer, SinB had a guess of what she was going to say. Yewon didn’t trust Eunha. To be completely honest, SinB didn’t either. She quietly took Yewon’s hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Thanks for worrying about me.”

“No problem, that’s what friends are for, silly.”

“Then you should come to me if you need a listener.”

Yewon grinned.

“Of course, you know, I have a small secret to tell you.”

“Hm?”

Yewon leaned closer with a mischievous grin, their previous topic completely forgotten.

“Yuna unnie has a secret girlfriend.”

======================

nah, not gonna write about the girlfriend, tis but a lovely distraction for SinB

also is it umji? dunno, maybe. it's a secret.