I was unprepared for this moment. Inexperienced as I was, fear enveloped my body as I feel my hands tremble. I would be lying if I said there was no excitement. But it was so small compared to the fear I had felt. All the feeling that I felt during the weeks of not talking to Bobby suddenly rushing back to me quickly.

As if on cue, my phone rings as we both jolted backwards, away from each other, making me feel sudden loss of warmth and emptiness. I quickly turned my body, hiding my blush as I picked up my phone.

“Hello?” I answered the phone.

“Hyo Kyung! You’re going to hospital again today?” My mom said from the other side of the phone.

“Yeah. I’m going to do some check ups and maybe therapy” I can feel the tremble in my voice.

“Okay. Be well honey and text me after you’re done with the hospital” she hangs up.

I take a deep breath before turning my body to see Kei and Bobby busy preparing the table. I helped them before we started eating in awkward silence. Kei seemed to sense the atmosphere.

“I’m sorry I can’t come with you to the hospital today” she apologize

“It’s okay. Goodluck for your presentation today!” I said.

Kei turned to Bobby, “You’re going back today?” and he nodded quietly.

She looked to me and Bobby, before showing me a questioning look. She sure is sharp.

---

The hours spent in the hospital passed by quickly and filled with awkward silence. The both of us are busy with our own thoughts. Is he going to kiss me this morning? It can’t be, right?

Consciously I keep my distance from him and he seemingly did the same. We’re not acting cold towards each other but we are more cautious.

He still take me home that day and take his stuff to bring back home. As he leave my place, the living room felt empty. It had been messy and full just the day before. But I shrugged off the thought.

As I sit on the empty living room, I was engulfed by my feelings. I knew my friendship with Bobby has changed after this morning. He was too caring and acted like we were more than friends. But also not a couple. My feelings towards him can’t help but grow during the past week. But I wish it hadn't. I didn’t want our friendship to be ruined just because I fell for him.

And for the most part, i was scared that I was just one of his girls. He had said that he had changed, but I can’t help but ponder about that. Maybe it is better if I maintain a good distance away from him. I need to protect myself. And our friendship. Without me realizing it, I fell asleep on the couch.

I was woken up by Kei’s voice, “Hey, hey” with nudging in my shoulder.

I rubbed my eyes from the sleepiness and she added, “Why are you sleeping here? Is your leg fine?”

I nodded, head still in the clouds.

“Then how about we go hang out tomorrow? And ask Bo Ram to come!”

“That’s great actually. I’ve stayed at home for don’t know how long” I chuckled.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stepping inside the cafe, my sense of smell is filled with the strong aroma of coffee. I let out a satisfied sigh. The cafe has a shiny look and there’s a large window that allows the perfect daylight to shine through. Just then, I noticed that Bo Ram has already sat on the table near the large window. As soon as we reached the table, excited chatter were poured out of our lips.

“Chanwoo and I”, Bo Ram paused as Kei and I looked at her, eyes almost bulging out, waiting for her next words. She cleared , nervous to continue, “We’re officially together”

Kei smiled at her proudly, tapping her a little bit too hard on Bo Ram’s shoulder. And she winces in response. I, on the other hand, just stare at her blankly. And without control, my mouth blurted out “wow, everyone seemed to have gotten their minds together”

Kei and Bo Ram turned her heads on me this time. “Let it out” Bo Ram urged.

I sighed, wondering how to tell them. After taking a deep breath, I told them “I think I like Bobby” voice smaller towards the end. Then i added, “No, not ‘think’. I mean- I do like him”

Kei rolled her eyes, while saying “Finally” and Bo Ram chuckled beside her.

“What? You guys knew? Is it that obvious?”

They give me a look that says ‘duh’.

“OHMYGOD. Do you think he knows it too?!” I panicked.

“Nah”, Kei and Bo Ram replied at the same time. Then Kei added, “both of you are dense” and again, Bo Ram laughed at Kei’s remark.

I facepalmed, “Ugh. Am I supposed to be relieved”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next few days Kei, Bo Ram and I would hang out with the guys and sometimes, Lara would join in.

Bobby and I talked like normal, but somehow i feel like there is something between us. Like the both of us kept our distance, like we’re holding back. But I guess it’s a good thing to not be too close and get carried away with him. I can protect my feelings. I replayed the thought over and over again in my head until I will be fully convinced by that.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

One day, when I was walking home from the evening class I had that day, I saw the figure I enjoyed seeing, Bobby, sitting in the park near my place. The sky was just starting to get dark. The last time I saw him sitting like this is back when something bad happened, when his grandma passed away. God, that was so long ago. He came without any warning or notice, he just sat there with his head down.

This time, it’s not so different. But instead he faced forward in a daze. I can’t help but wonder if something bad happen to him.

Without me realizing, I gradually walked faster, filled with the sudden urge to comfort him.