We arrived at dawn.

Found a transit motel near the coach station to change and freshen up.

A pink colour knee length dress.

Simple makeup that added colour to your fair complexion, a dash of blush and lipstick gave the healthy glow to your skin.

That completed the endearing look.

You manage to look great, even in your tired state. Exquisiteness, is you. That’s what I see and read through my eyes.

“You look good!” I heard your comment.

I am glad that you notice me. By that, you could be telling me that you are rational and will handle the matter well. I can see that you are not only coping, you are managing and learning.  “Yes, as usual!” I answered with a proud grin (for you).

We left our luggage in the coach station lockers.

We paused at the at turn of the road, before walking up the hill, where the church is.

“Ready?”

I waited for your nod.

I held your left hand gently, “Let’s go!”

The day is bright. The birds are chirping. Relatives and friends are exchanging greetings.

The groom and his buddies are standing at the entrance, welcoming the guests.

You introduced us. I shook his hand, held it tight. You shook his hand too and said some congratulatory words.

The ceremony was long, with multiple speeches, songs, hymns, etc and ended with a meal reception.

Your hand was cold. I tried to keep you comfortable by warming your hand with my warm one, putting my jacket on your slim shoulders. Over the meal, I nodded and answered enough to keep small talks going at the tables. My good memory comes in useful here, as linking new faces, names and interests together (like the circuits) have never been an issue.

However, I didn’t pay much attention to the proceedings other than the bare minimum.

My primary focus was on you, observing you.

You didn't eat much. You almost didn't sip the coffee. Except for some faint dark eye rings under your makeup, you look normal, smiling at times in fact. Was I being overly concerned? Did I make a mountain out of a mole hill?  

Nonetheless, I did not let go of your hand throughout the event (or ordeal).

At the end of the ceremony, we approached the newly weds prior to leaving the church. You hugged the new couple. We said our goodbyes and left.

“This is it”, I said.

“Yes, this is it”, I read relief in your eyes. “It is not that hard afterall.”

“Yes, thinking is often much worst than implementation”, I complimented you, “Well done.”

You stood on tip toe and hugged me. I held you closer, lightly rubbed your back to give you the assurance you need. I am happy for you.

“I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t be overly concerned. I am happy to see relief in your eyes. Please tell me, if you need me next time.”

I am happy to see you nodding.

I was contemplating. “Yeong, when was the last time you had a break? A real break?”

“What?” you looked bewildered.

I extended my right hand to you, in front of the coach station, “Care to go for a spin?”

“Where?”

“Come on! Let’s go out to play! I still have a few days of before my return flight. Let’s go!” I dragged you and we run.

We boarded a train to a seaside town which I am aware of.

“Halmoni. Is that beach house still available for rent? I would like to stay for a few days,” I enquired.

“No, unfortunately... (She thought for a moment) But my grandkids left to study in Seoul and their house is empty now. The house is smaller but it is fully equipped. There is no TV in that house though. Do you mind taking that?”

“No. Of course not.” I am glad we found a place. A quiet place, for play, for healing, for recharge.

A voice came from the interior of the house, “Dear..  we run out of side dishes.. Sorry, I didn’t know that we have visitors.”

“Dear, can you bring them to our grandkids’ house? They will stay a few days.”

“Sure. I got the rice cooking. I’ll be back to prepare the dishes. You take a rest. (Then, he turned to look at us) Let’s go.”

Haraboji brought us to a traditional Korean house by the coast, which has a small vegetable garden and a pyeong-sang (ie low, flat table) in the front yard.

“Here, this is the key. Let us know when you are be leaving. Enjoy! (He paused at the entrance to look at the sea view.) The sea is always comforting. (He murmured.) Oh, there a market and some grocery shops around 15 minutes walk from here (he pointed north), if you need anything.”

“Yes, thank you.” I answered.

“Do you want to take a nap?” I asked you.

“No. I am okay. Let’s get some groceries.”

We shall take it slow.

We pass by the dock and look at the passing vessels, in all shapes and sizes.

We got some bread and tried to feed the seagulls, but the birds are either too full this late afternoon or didn’t notice us.

There are some seafood stalls with big tanks of fish and seafood in front of their shops. I took a net and scooped out a fish. The fish struggled and splattered water all over! You lightly scolded me for being overly playful.

It was evening by the time we reached and the market was closed. We got some fresh produce and groceries from the local shops.

For dinner, you had black bean sauce noodles while I ordered seafood noodles in hot red pepper soup.

“The colour of your soup is really bright and nice!”

I scooped some noodles and soup in a small bowl and offered it to you, before I add more chilli.  “How? Is it good?”

“OmmO! My tongue is burning!” I quickly offered you some white rice and water.  “That’s spicy, and you are adding more chilli?”

“That will make it really nice!” I laughed.

“You are tired. Let's unpack only tomorrow. You wash up first while I make some calls.” I finished making some quick calls and browsed through my emails but you were still in the bathroom.

I gently knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry, I took longer than usual to wash and dry my hair."

“No hurry. You take your time.”

By the time I finished bathing, I saw you fell asleep on the yo (traditional Korean bed) in the bedroom.

I covered you with a blanket. You must be tired. Rest well. 

Soulful songs (at low volume) continued to fill the small room. I sat down beside you, studied your expression while I immersed in the pieces that came from your phone - they were moving, stirring, and triggering thoughts. 

I switched off the lights and stepped into the the living room.

Feeling sunlight on my legs, I woke up, still groggy, rubbing my eyes instinctively. I removed the blanket on me.

I saw you busy in the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Making KIMCHI! Go wash up. And help me.”

“What?”

“Yes. You didn’t hear wrongly.”

You turned to me and added, “Can you get 2 urns from outside? Let’s make 2 sets, one with spring onions and one without. The earlier is for the kind couple who rented this place to us. It should come in useful since they ran out of side dishes.”

Even in your mind of weariness, you observe and care for others. You are truly amazing.

From cooling of the the starch mixture, cutting the radish and carrots, mixing the seasonings and inserting them into the soaked fresh cabbage which we bought yesterday, it took us more than 3 hours!

“You look hungry!” and you casually grabbed a small bunch of seasoned spicy radish into my waiting mouth. The radish pickle is heavenly.

We ate a simple lunch of noodles on the pyeong-sang, facing the afternoon sea.

Sparkling waters, like little floating crystals, competing to reflecting the most amount of light off the sun.

Scenic. Peaceful. It is good to be away from the hectic city, or congested roads.

A light smile framed your small face. I am elated.

“If you are not too tired now, let’s change into something casual and go out to play?”

“I thought you will ask sooner!”

“Wow!” I am impressed.  “Here we are!” I brought you to a piece of wet mudflat. “I saw this place yesterday. Let’s see who can get more seafood for dinner tonight!” I passed you a spade and pail.

We ‘chased’ each other around the place (as it is quite tricky to move in the mud), screaming when  your foot got stuck in the mud, and when I tried to help, I pulled too hard, fell sidewards and got a facial, …

You tried to pat some mud off my face.

Your closeness warmed up my entire being. “Don’t worry, I’ll wash up later.”

We capitalised on the low tide and dug out clams, mussels, cockles, fan mussels, etc from the mudland. Though the contents in your pail is less than mine, you surprised me by dugging out a sea snail!  

“Ouch!” I cried. You turned around and saw the claw of a crab on my index finger, and how I tried to swing it off, just like how the pendulum movement.

"Goodness!” You tried to hop over to help but I watched you tripping. I tried to plunge towards your direction but failed to catch you completely. We rolled together a bit and got a mud bath literally. The momentum stopped, we stared at each other’s muddiness and laughed.   Yes, we got ourselves all full of dirt, but it was fun.

“How’s your finger?” you asked.

“The crab is off. Thank you for saving m.. my finger.”

“You are welcome.” You burst out laughing.

Yes, this is it! Laugh. Express it out. Don’t keep it in. This is the pure and original you. The little shining star, who graces the universe with your light and strength.

While I washed the treats from the sea, you picked some fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner.

You amazed me again by setting up the bbq pit in no time. I barbequed the seafood we caught while you prepared the sauces.  

The night was lovely. The meal was lovely. You are lovely.

You are looking at the dark sea while sitting on the pyeong-sang. You looked engrossed. This is the second time today.

“You like the sea?” I gave you a choice of the two drinks in my hand. You took the fruity flavoured beer.

“Bottomless, mysterious, and almost ..”

“.. alluring, like it is leaving some kind of enigmatic messages, unexplained, unanswered…”

You stared at me, like I have decoded the mystery of matter/antimatter.

“Would you like to talk?” I sat down beside you, passing a blanket to you.

 “It started way long ago. In high school. He is popular. He is tall, sporty, relatively handsome, and the leader of the school’s string emsemble.”

“You like music?”

“It’s more like I like that image that he portrays. To him, we are only friends. I am the insignificant one around him.”

“Why are you belittling yourself?” 

“I am not putting myself down. I am telling the truth. .. We graduated, but still remain in contact. I look too forward to each and every gathering, dolled myself up, .. deep down, I know its useless. That’s so sad of me. Silly.”

“Does he know?”

“Not really. Logically, rationally, I know this is futile. I wanted to let it go. Then, I moved to Seoul.”

“Many adults lived with similar history. Hippocrates said that ‘The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well.’ and ‘Healing is (not only) a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.’ The right push at the right opportunity. That’s how healing happens. “ I am not hinting anything. To even out my speech, I brought in an analogy, “Just like DBS, she is a simple girl. GD has been in her mind for a decade? It is actually plausible since it is easier to maintain status quo than to explore (and risk of another pain) for another person. After an extended period, that has more or less becomes a habit for her. Whether that is a healthy habit or not is an entirely different matter.. “ I cautiously checked your expression, “MH, who is so attentive, appreciative, the mentor--friend who is an almost ever existent magnet to her is so powerful that he can help her built and strengthen her resolve to break the existing inertia and get over that pre-existing infatuation. At the right moment, he took a step forward. At the right juncture, he pulled her towards him. In all, it’s all timing, the right timing between the right pair of people. If the person is wrong, it will not work out. If the timing is incorrect, things will go haywire. Only when the person and timing are right, love will bloosom. It’s a delicate equation, which needs to balance and handle with care for it to gain strength and excel.“

You said, “There was a beautiful wedding yesterday. An occasion where two similar-minded people joined hands and moved on to the next stage. I don’t really know her, but I know him. The smile on his face was contentment. During the proceedings, was I paying attention or reminiscing about the past, way in the past, while everything else was moving when I was stuck. Looking at it, I told myself that it is time to move to, in fact, should have moved on way earlier, dropped that habit. I shouldn't have lingered. I told you I am okay over the phone. (we exchanged a knowing look.) But I am glad that you came." No one has ever gone and come so far for me, just because you feel uneasy over my uneasiness. "I am appreciative.”

You looked glad, obviously relieved.

You are lovely, the one and only in this world, like the brilliant star that is gracing the night sky.

“This is your life. Be the shining star in your existence, never give in and only let others glitter.”