I texted you once I touched down. Fell asleep on the king-size platform bed provided by the landlord once I reached home.

That felt like a long sleep. Upon waking, my mind is refreshed but my back felt stiff. I stretched.

I looked at my phone and was pleasantly welcomed by your message. I replied to you, took a quick shower, ate a pot of ramen, along with the kimchi bought in Incheon on my way to the boarding gate.

Logged on to work. Typed and save the reports in the draft box. Removed my spectacles, made and drank a cup of latte, returned to my desk, revised the draft reports before clicking ‘send’.

Beep.. there is a new message. I saw your reply and clicked redial at once.

“Hey! How are you?”

“Have you catch up on your rest? You slept many hours, right? A tiring trip. I guess.”

“Yes, I slept 12 hours straight. The recent trip was tiring but it was much more fruitful than I envisioned.”

“What are you going to do later? Dropping by office?”

“No need. I just submitted my trip reports…”

…

We chatted for a while till you are ready for bed. After I am back, we chatted almost daily, in addition to our usual email correspondences.

Episode 10 - Find A Hidden Heart
 

They caught the wrong person.

I am an adult who is more than able to think and decide what I do and where I go.

Tell me where is Kim. Don’t treat me like a fragile porcelain as I am not. I can still find him, with or without you, GD.

I am not going home now. I am returning to the hospital.  It is not because I need to, it’s because I want and wish to. 

Mulling all the way to the hospital.. on how to locate Jang.. and how to entrap him..

How do I feel about GD? Annoying, must you ask now when I am utterly confused. One thing I am sure. GD has lost the hallow around him. Must I reveal that to you now?

My dear CEO, you are really conceited and think so highly of yourself! Self-confidence is great but you are really over the line! What a joke. You are telling me that you don’t like guys from the start and all those rumours were just marketing? If I am strange in my unexplainable strength, you are just as unique in your weird thoughts in not explaining yourself. Yes, you don’t have time to date. But isn’t clarifying untrue rumours a fundamental in life? Yes, marketing is important, isn’t reputation as vital too?

Daepyonim, can’t you just don the hospital gown and behave like a normal patient? Must you stand out in your fanciful gown and be an easy target? (I can’t stay here with you 24 hours a day.) And worst still, this PJ of yours looks actually like a zebra crossing! Is it that nice?  YA, that’s not a compliment. Don’t you get it? (I am returning the positive comment that you gave me at that rooftop. Don’t you recall?) I take a second look at you.. and it was then that you caught it and started explaining how your slang differed from my imitation. You are so cute, and hard to resist.  

Daepyonim, can you help me with something? Finding Jang? How .. HOW do you know? You read me before I reveal my plan! It's okay. I’ll figure of something at home later. Filled with gratitude, I obediently helped you cleaned your face.

Oh YES! I’ll start work in the Strategy Team tomorrow. First and foremost, I must call to thank you.. With a little trickery, I got myself the night off, iron my favourite outfit for my first day of proper work tomorrow and to spend some quality time with KS. If possible, maybe have some time to think too for my mind and heart are really confused recently.

You must be really fuming and rolling your eyes wide right at this very moment. Ha. Oh yes, I can really start work, real and proper work tomorrow. Don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and drop by the hospital to visit you during my break time. I am responsible. I am not slacking off.

I dreamt about you again, and again, and again. Even dreams add to my confusion. What a night!

Sec Gong told me to go in later today morning as he needs to settle some HR matters first. I skipped and jumped happily to work. My welcome ceremony is as unexpected as my new appointment. What’s most unexpected is – I saw you in your office, waiting for me. And the sling bag, in a colour that is not in my wardrobe yet. And the shiny employee pass. I am ecstatic. Is it getting on too smoothly? No, no, Ani, I shall not jinx myself.

To my HORROR! .. . Again, nothing has changed. Just my designation has been amended, and that’s in name and on paper only. I am still working directly under you. There is no team- or lunch-mates, no colleagues, no reporting officer to get proper approval. Nothing! Gradually, my anger builds up to an impending explosion. Sec Gong, TELL CEO that this is not the strategy team job that he promised and I stormed back to my seat. I may tear down the building if I could get any angrier.

That annoying Team leader Bok who looks almost a ladylike version of that gangster. Could two unrelated persons look so similar? His perfume nearly suffocated me. Regardless, I shall teach him a lesson since he enjoys bullying newbies which is almost like his habit, his hobby.

You questioned me on Team leader Bok’s whereabouts. No, I didn’t hit him. He is just confined to his seat, with his overwhelmingly and disgustingly sweet coffee.

Why did you save and shield me from harm’s way? Why? I never got an answer to that question that is burning my insides. Your unusual evasiveness on this matter roused my curiosity further. I was at your door and almost heard your reason during his conversation with Sec Gong. (Sorry, I really don’t mean to eavesdrop.) Suddenly, your intense glare is fixated on me. I stuttered something.

You left for the library. What’s there to pack on my desk when I didn’t do much on day 1?

I stood behind the library shelves observing you from behind you silently. You are reading, or flipping the pages at least.

I can see that you are walking relatively slower than usual these few days. The fresh wound should still hurt often. Judging at your usual non-compliance to police, your compliance level towards doctor’s advice may not be high too. Let’s have my welcome party after you have recovered and is able to drink. Better take more care now.

You stood up and our gazes crossed and held between the gaps in the shelves. Time froze momentarily.

You are still nursing a stitched open wound thus, you should refrain from being on your toes for so long. Let’s get you home early, so you can rest. I am not your bodyguard now, but I still want to see you home, safely. I left the car radio off, in the serenity that you like. There was no banter during the short car journey. When we were approaching your place, I saw you closed your eyes. I slowed down, so you could rest a little more.

Upon reaching your place, I adjusted the driver seat back to the original position, where you usually like it to be. Sec Gong should have driven you around earlier and forgot to adjust the driver seat back to the position that you prefer. 

In your house, I find you sleeping soundly on my lap. I adjusted myself to let you rest your head more comfortably. I didn’t struggle at all, which is not my usual style. Who had I allowed such privilege before? No one.

You look so calm in your rest. Such long eye lashes, with the middle portion longer than the sides. Breathing evenly till some sudden quivers. What did you dream about? Or is it too cold for you? I shifted your head onto the cushion as gently as I could, adjusted the temperature in the house, located your blanket from your cupboard and gently covered you with it. I prepared some porridge, left your medication complete with sweets (after days with you in the hospital, I know how much you dislike the after taste and bitterness from the medicine) and notes for you.

Disinfect your wound once every five hours..

Take some porridge before your medication..

Some sweets to remove the bitter after-taste from your medicine..

With nothing much left to do, I wondered around and suddenly recalled the painting in front of your cupboard. I studied it closely, and its stark resemblance to me hit me hard in my mind. You remembered me so well, for so long. You have allowed me to enter your personal playground, right from the beginning.

I touched your forehead. There is no fever, indicating no infection. 

I sat down and observed you, who is sleeping ever so peacefully.

You overflow with confidence and can be annoying some times. Majority of the time, I can sense your genuine concern for me. No one else has trained me, showed that much appreciation for me, towards me, and didn’t escape after knowing how much a Hercules I can be. My heart is beating wildly now, for you?

You must be wearied from the day’s events as you didn’t move an inch in all these.

I toned down the lightings, adjusted the room temperature again, checked that everything are in order before I left. Rest well. See you tomorrow.

GD’s message? So?... I am not in the right mood or state of mind to reply now.

It is late and I finally get to touch my bed. Why are you back at my house? I thought you are asleep already?

You are feeling pain? Haven’t you taken the painkillers? I almost laughed. You can be like a big baby at times.

You pulled me so near to you. I feel the speed and strength of your heart. Instantly, I can hear my heart pumping ever so loudly again, and my throat going dry.  I hear your direct confession, loud and clear. I appreciate your frankness as no guessing is required. Momentarily, I lost my words and just stared at you. I stammered for some .. some time.

This late-night confession is something that I have never experienced. Your words showed urgency, truthfulness and sincerity. They still ringed and echoed in my ears and mind. While I am being touched by you to a ridiculous level, that also added confusion to my already confused mind.

I need a faster and bigger processor NOW.

The wound still stings.

But I know it’ll hurt me much more intensely if you being hurt. I am not sure how angry I would be or how would I reiterate then?

I also loathe the idea of you going after the perpetrator or following GD. Can’t tell which is worse as I loathe both equally dreadful choices.

What? The police had caught the smart criminal? Did they? Could they?

Pacing back and forth, I felt vexed, seriously unsettled, way from calming down for the night. Your whereabouts, emotions, are like pulling me all over the place. I glanced at the clock again. What time is it now? You really take forever to return.

I am not surprised to hear from you that police caught a fake culprit. A fraud for the incompetence.

Looking at you, I seriously, really have to ask - Do you still like that policeman? Why? I really can’t comprehend your rationale. How could you ignore a perfect man like me and have thoughts for a brute? Seems like you are still being bluffed by the noise out there. I know where and what my inclination is. I have already announced that once, didn’t you hear about it? Or you need to hear it direct and straight from the source? Please ignore all those noise marketing which are free publicity which I really don’t mind in the past. Gradually, I mind them, no, it’s more like, I mind what and how you view me. Think about it, I created such a gaming company with a global presence within 6 years. Would I have any time to date? Look at me properly, will you? I have to tell you in your face seriously, I love woman. I stopped there .. didn’t continue to announce, on who is my real target..

Not a compliment? Wait. What? I have been tricked? You are crazy. Why are you imitating me? Mirroring me, may I ask? Not everyone can be like me. Let me teach you, you need the additional ting at the end of that sentence to sound like me.

When I don’t see you, my mind is not at ease. When I see you, I can’t stop teasing you. I like to see you happy, smiling. Our banter continues. Laughter too. It’s like immersing in a warm environment, somewhere that I have left so long that I only recalled that feeling recently, after I met and knew you. I couldn’t stop smiling when you are here, yes, even when you make fun of my own slang, I smile, right from my mind. You do not know that yet, but I can wait, I’ll wait. The finest in life takes time to brew and needs to be pursued. 

Why are you spacing out this morning? That’s not a good sign.

Hey. HEY! YA! Must I yell to catch your attention? Don’t you think about that perpetrator anymore. That is way too dangerous. Are you sure you are just going home? (Could I believe that you wouldn’t wonder around in your neighbourhood?) Darn that I am still trapped in the hospital now. If you just need to make a quick trip home, should that be all right? Help me wash my face first. Let me have a couple of minutes to be near to you, and also ponder on it some more. Bad move, as you are too distracting. Before I finish contemplating, you are off. I shall be firmer on my stand next time. You really defy all my logic. I thought to myself. Smiling to myself, and worrying about you, all at the same time.

Minutes crawled, hours dragged. When would I see your bubbly self again? There is neither text nor call. And you are taking forever to return. What could you be doing now? This is really getting on my nerves. I must do something, act now, give you something concrete to do, else you would wonder around the neighbourhood, which is too perilous. I still feel the sting in my waist. I need some time to recover before I can protect you properly. I told Sec Gong to put you in the Strategy team wef tomorrow, in the manner that was discussed earlier. I instructed him not to tell anyone that I’ll spring a surprise attack in office tomorrow.

When I thought I can read you perfectly, and my plan is perfect, and I envision that you returning into my view immediately to thank me endlessly in no time, I smiled. Yes, I kept my part of our deal (sort of, kind of). Why are you not back in the hospital yet? Then, I realised that my fool-proof plan has backfired.

You know perfectly that I can’t bear you to tired yourself out, although there is nothing to prepare for work tomorrow. I can still tell Sec Gong to ferry you to and fro hospital and your place. Do you know that?

I clenched my fist, bit my teeth, felt smoke emitting from the top of my head. Oh mine! You are good. Your ageyo and little trick beat me hands down. All right. Never mind. Since you prefer to stay at home tonight, I’ll let you be. I’ll still get to see you, the well-rested you, the first thing tomorrow. 

I like it when I meet someone of my match, my equal. You. Lovely. Witty. Unpredictable. Still undeniably loveable.

I planned to discharge myself from the hospital tomorrow. The arrival of your mother (someone whom I can’t say no to but still need to give due respect) and the spicy chicken feet, propelled me to discharge myself even earlier tomorrow.

I know the type of sling bag that you usually wear and I recall seeing similar at that boutique. So, I got their signature design, in a colour that I haven’t seen you in your bag catalogue yet. After reaching my office, I added your employee tag in the gift box. PERFECTO! I am well aware that this is something you yearn for, and I am giving it to you.

I checked that all was in order and waited for you to arrive.

Resting on my chair, I closed my eyes. Even my right hurts a bit, I earnestly look forward to see you.

Sec Gong has gone too far for the welcome ceremony. I laughed over it. Yes, even me.

I read the surprise in your eyes when you saw me. I gladly presented you with the welcome gift. I have given many gifts in the past, during my much younger days. However, this is the first time, I recollected all the bags that I have seen you used, visited the boutique, chose the design and colour personally, and saw to the gift wrapping myself. Are you aware of that?

Let’s see. All the stars in the strategy team has played a crucial role in the development of one or two successful game(s) before stepping into team leader Bok’s gate. I’ll make sure you get that mark too so that you can walk in there with your head high. To attain that, you have to work with me first. I’ll help you to get the credentials you need to formally and proudly set foot into the strategy team. That’s for work. On a personal front, you have to tame Team leader Bok by yourself. Yes, he is weird but undeniably, he is one of the best in this field. I tried hard to recruit him to helm Ainsoft strategy team 1. Little peanut, this is the time to showcase what you got.

Enough of the play introduction and your idealistic concept. While I admire your views which were similar to what I started with, you would realise gradually that we need to earn enough and much more in order to do more R&D to stay in-front of our competitors. Profit maximisation is THE important concept in the current economy.

Now, it’s time for you to visit the washroom. This is set 1 of the game. He will be waiting for you as he likes to corner freshman. Show him how creative, witty, fearless and mighty you are. Let me watch a good battle, not won by fist, I hope.

With my eyes all around him, he wouldn’t dare to do anything seriously outrageous. However, I’ll only step in IF necessary as this is still your war, WIN it.

Team leader Bok has virtually dropped off from Earth’s surface. DBS..  I see that you trapped Bok. Ouch, my neck hurts. You are really innovative, I have to compliment you. Yes, despite Bok’s capabilities, he can be a pain at times. It’s good to teach him a lesson too.  I am elated that you do not allow yourself to be bullied.

I toyed with the ornament on my desk while listening to Sec Gong's questions. Yes, I have always taken great care of my body and self. No, I didn’t shield you from harm’s way by accident. I saved you by instinct. I don’t have to explain anything to Sec Gong, do I? I knocked into you right at my door. How much of my conversation with Sec Gong did you overhear?

I escaped to the library, away from your intense glance. Your gaze and charm are eating into me. My heart is working so much harder, whenever you are around. Although I did not plan to read or do research, I sat down in the library. Sitting at the desk, with my book opened, seemingly reading, but nothing gets past my eyes. I am just flipping. On that D day, my mind was confused. As the days go by, my mind becomes clearer. Gradually, my intention and the reason behind my intuitive reaction dawned on me. It is clearer now. You are not only interesting. You are much more than that, I admitted to myself.

I gave up on reading. I found you in between the book shelves, through the gaps of the shelves. Are you checking on me? I just stood and look at you, allowing myself to be immersed and drowned in your eyes. (.. do not drink..) Yes, I hear your concern. (.. send me home..) Yes, you read me well. The on and off pain is draining my energy. I am tired. Please take me home.

I am wearier than I thought. I pulled you towards me and lie down on your lap. Be my pillow, (accompany me), just for a while, just for tonight. You feel so warm, so comfortable. Only with you around, I can rest peacefully.  

I jerked up from my sleep, seemingly recalling that very moment which you were at harm’s way. I felt momentarily lost as I didn’t find you by my side.

I see the handwritten post-its that you left in my house. Cute round handwriting. My heart is warmed by your thoughtful touches.

I ate, cleared the kitchen, washed up.. I am still trying to catch some sleep. In my thoughts, its all about you…  Sleep evaded my mind since you left.

Whenever I close my eyes, you seep into my mind, just like the much-needed rain that graces Earth, giving it life.

I long to see you - your nods, your expressions, your smiles, even your glares - They never fail to send trembles through me..

A smile spreads on my face, whenever I welcome you back into my sight, whenever I am with you.

These are such unfamiliar sides of me that even I didn’t know I had earlier.

My hidden feelings are slowly awaken and evolved with each and every intake of oxygen. You have saved my life, guarded my playground, and was well hidden in my heart. Now, you invade my mind, come into my thoughts, whenever.

Not because of anyone else. It’s only because it’s you, only you.  You are too brilliant, too good to be true. I am covered in your light, in your warmth.

I am sure of how I feel now. 

I like you.

I miss you.

I have decided. I wouldn’t wait, I couldn’t afford to wait to say those words that are hanging on the tip of my tongue to you.

Me, the novice in love, plucks out my utmost courage, is going directly towards you.

This is not an impusive decision. This is me, the true me, huffing and puffing, dashing in in full force, braving the cold wind, darting, ignoring the ache on my side, RUNNING towards you. I can’t hide. I don’t want to hide. My Confession - this is something that I must TELL you now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRpQPAnTPbU

(Feel my heart)  Get rid of your crush.

(Come closer to me) Come to me now.

As I like you so, so much.

Please come to me wholeheartedly.  I read your wild and widely opened eyes. I felt your accelerating pulse. You are amazingly adorable. I smiled. If you need time, I’ll give you time, but don’t let me wait for too long, my angelic peanut.

I watched episode ten onboard and relayed my thoughts online. Even I surprised myself at how fast I wrote as the feelings the thoughts flowed so naturally and smoothly.

It was late when I reached your house. I hope I didn’t wake you.

Yes, the weather is freezing and I am in pain. Painkillers are to be taken sparingly, thus I can gauge how much I have recovered and when to stop the medication. Physical pain can be shelved momentarily aside, what I need to resolve now is that persistent ache in my heart, a heart that is longing for your attention, you care, you. Now, I need to tell you now (It is of utmost importance) that – I like you.

‘AMH’

Yes, this episode reveals a lot on AMH’s feelings and DBS’s confusion. Her confusion will lead her to see AMH as a man, a man worthy of her mind and heart.

Min Hyuk has Boon Soon in his palms or is it the other way around? DBS is feeling naughty and uses some witty-ness to get herself the night off. In a strange way, by not being in his beck and call makes him appreciate her presence more. So here, it is not who is in whose mercy. It is more like that they are enjoying the communication channel that is unique to them.

She has Team lead in her hands or is it the other way around? Their “battle” will continue.

‘DBS’

I said before, AMH needs challenges. “Over easy” stuff may bore him. Of course, DBS strike him at the correct cords, and right moments.

Who would imitate him, loathe and openly? That would be her, only her.

Even they know there is undercurrents between them, they remain themselves. Not beautifying themselves to be more like the person that he/she thinks the other wants. They are themselves, and hopefully, is the he/she the other needs.

‘AMH’

Yes, he is just being himself with her. She is just being herself with him. Those are their true selves. Bubbly. Noisy. Cosy even. Thus, there can’t be a more ideal situation. This is much better than disguising who are you are not in front of your interest.  We don’t know how much Min Hyuk (who is high up there, in the midst of skilfully masked people) and Bong Soon (who disguises herself for her uncontrollable strength) appreciates that, to be able to face another person in their true self.

BTW, what was the answer in AMH's mind, on why he shielded DBS?

‘DBS’

I'll think about it and let you know later.

'AMH'

…

One night, at my balcony, which is of a similar size to my living room, I stared at the Mediterranean Sea while inhaling the aroma from my latte. Took a sip. Very different from the hazelnut latte that you have ordered for me, during the first time we met. An unusual comfort settled in my core when you came into my mind.  

I lay down on my hammock, facing the night sky. It is again an unusual sight. Where are all the stars? That brought me to the previous night, while we were together, chatting.

…

“Hey, Yeong! Where is your friend? That tall handsome guy?”

Oh, him. “He is overseas. “

“Our new stock has arrived (pointing to the huge boxes behind the cashier.) He had asked if there is a rose-gold version for this pair of vintage watches. They are here but he is not.” Min said.  

I looked at the pair of automatic, self-winding watches that are powered by the wearer’s movement. Rose gold face, leather strap, chronograph, antique design.

Moments in time, clocked in the timepiece.

A watch is a personal gift with much significance. Maybe it is too personal to give it to you now. Maybe in time? I am not sure too. I ponder. “Actually, I am here to get the pyramid that you need to assemble from separate cardboard pieces? Is it included in your new batch of goods?”

“Oh that”, Min rummaged through the boxes behind the cashier, “Yes, I found it! Would you like to have one or two?”

“Two, please. Can you do gift wrap for me? Thank you.”

I stared longingly at the pair of automatic watches that are on display. “I only have this pair”, Min said.

I placed the pyramids carefully into a postal box, included a card, added two layers of bubble wrap and posted to you from Ssamzigil. You were staring at the sample the other day but couldn’t get it as there was no stock.

I strolled down the spiral staircase. It felt so different from the previous time when I was here.