This is a long day.

After multiple meetings and discussions, we still have not isolated the crux of the problem as to why the newly installed circuits and components do not connected and synchronise with each other. If we still can’t solve the problem, we would be forced to dismantle and reassemble all the parts, one at a time, to locate the cause.

1800 hours.

Time for the engineers return home, spend time with their families, recharge.

Hyung has left office earlier to fetch his 5 year old junior from childcare, since his wife is running some errands.

Behind the wheel, I tried to get myself through and out of the messy Middle-East roads.

On the way back, hot air was blown onto my face. Pale. Warm. Rustic.

There was increased honkings as it got nearer to the residental area … Not that I enjoy the din, but when one is in Rome, one do what the Romans do.

It has been good here (not too bad now), as the roads in some developing countries could be in much worst condition.

From a primarily dry and sand-covered barren land to the much developed and modernised industrial place now, this place has grown leaps and bounds in the past decades. Though not perfect, this place is great enough.

I stacked the latest drawings beside my laptop after I walked in my door.

Yes, another pile, and booted up my laptop and multiple monitors.

I unlocked my phone, checked my emails. It has been two days and there was total silence from you.

I began to read and compare the technical drawings simultaneously on two monitors. I love my large monitors as they enabled me to magnify and zoom into the particular part of the circuits easily. That saves some time.

I ate, bathed, checked the website, still no comments or responses from you.

I refreshed my emailbox. There were only some advert emails. Still no news from updates from you.

This is rather unusual.

Where did you go? I combed through the depths of my mind for details that we had touched on. You were quite jovial during our last conversation. Could you be busy? You did mention of tying up a project this week but you usually wouldn’t be that silent. This is so unlike you. Did your missing mailbox key give you problem? Did.. Questions kept circulating in my mind.

I made latte and took a sip too fast (probably absentmindedly) and the foamy latte scalded my tongue. What the? What happened today?

My handphone beeped. Is that you? Turned out to be Hyung asking if I would like to drop by his place to watch football in a while.

Armed with some snacks that are Hyung’s junior favourites, I took the lift to Hyung’s apartment, while still getting used to the unease sensation on my slightly scalded tongue.

I walked in. Broke into a smile. Gave the snacks to junior and he went to bed with his mother. Lucky kid. Love from a set of parents, complete with the comfort of a home.

We watched football, which has been my usual pastime when I am not working.

Some rough boys got into a series of expected and unexpected actions in front of my eyes.

Football rolled. Footballers rolled on the pit after collisons. Crowds cheered and jeered. However, those just dissipated into the back of my mind.

My phone vibrated. I immediately jumped up to check on it.

“Hyun, what’s up?”

“What’s up?” as I deleted the advert message which I just received.

“This is your favourite team but you are not focusing. You are so distracted. Your mind is clearly elsewhere these few days.”

“I am fine” Was it that obvious?

Hyung looked at me a while. I cracked a smile and assured him, “I am really okay. Maybe too occupied.”

“Let me know if you need help.”

I nodded.

It was late after I reached home. I sat for a while infront of my laptop after I reached home. Gone through the stack of papers and zeroed in to some possibilities.

My mind is still active, way too active to rest.

I stared blankly into the bottomless, borderless and boundless Mediterranean Sea.

The fun football games no longer interest me as much.

The interesting 1-6 figurines no longer look so attractive.

The sea breeze feels cool, even to the extent of cold.

Uneasiness. Unsettledness. Uncomfortabilities. These surrounded me, along with the chilling breezes. I made myself sleep.

The next day, we achieved some breakthough with our problem. Things are finally moving in the right direction.

I matched to the time that you are having lunch break, and called.

     Your call cannot be connected. Please try again later.

I called again during your off time. The phone rang a long while till it got disconnected.

I almost sighed when my phone rang. I picked it up straight away.

“It’s me.”

“I know.”

“I am sorry.”

“What happened?”

“I am sorry.”

“I am concerned. Are you okay? Can you talk?”

There was a pause.

“I finally got a second set of keys and opened my mailbox. There was a stack of letters, bills and one invite.”

“What kind of invite?” I probed.

“Wedding invite.”

I could guess the identity of the groom. “How are you feeling?”

“I am not sure how to pinpoint it down exactly. Mostly down. When I don’t even have the right to feel that way…”

“There is no right or wrong here." I am genuinely concerned. I hope work had kept your mind occupied. "How did you spend your time?”

I hear your laugh, probably a forced one, “I spent long hours on the project. At night, I sat at home to go through my happy pill. Sorry for not replying. I need to sort through some age-old emotions. I have to get through it. I dare not call, for I know you will know something is amiss once I do.”

You are considerate.

I can sense how you see it, the feeling that you couldn’t and shouldn’t procrastinate any further, yet couldn't move much to end it. “You see..  I am your friend. I am with you and always listens. Always remember that.”

“Thank you, Hyun. Sorry, I can’t properly express myself, even at this age.”

“Everyone learns.”

“Thank you.”

I can’t help but ask, “When will that be?”

“This Sat.”

“Are you attending?”

“I think that I should. At least see it for myself. But I am still undecided.”

We talked about other things on the phone randomly.

“Try to rest earlier tonight.”

“You too. Thank you for the call.”

“Keep in touch.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Good night. I’ll call again.”

Orange rays fom the evening sun reflected from the atmosphere, casted soft glows on Earth.

Gradually, a dark blanket covered the horizon completely.

Hotness dampen. Coolness slipped in.

The scorching heat of the day has been replaced by the coolness of the night.

However, that didn’t help in how I feel.

I paced round my living room, unusually troubled.

Pulled my collar up onto my lips, pausing, cogitating, staring into the lifeless and motionless horizon from my balcony.

Restlessness creeped into my mind and crawled all over me.

Some irrational feelings that I can’t get rid of lingered, nibbled into my usual calmness.

The stillness on the surface of the dark waters that entered my eyes now is the vast opposite from the bubbling turbulence that I feel.

I haven’t encountered this strong feeling for a while. Have I? Why, and what is this now? I am concerned about how you are taking and accepting that unexpected piece of news.

And yes, I know that you are not a kid. But you could need a friend, company now. I am trying to find a reason for myself. I shelved that logicality for a while.

Instinctively, I picked up my phone and clicked on a new webpage simultaneously.

“Hyung. Can you do me a favour? Please.”

“Yes?”

“I need a few days off urgently. Can you cover for me? I’ll let Director know and will also send the team the detailed status of the project tonight.”

“Going on leave and so urgently? You haven’t taken any leave in 2+ years except during the mandatory summer holidays? You drop by our place relatively lesser these days. What are you busy with? Any pressing matter? You are taking more leave these couple of months than the 2 years combined? Oh no, is your hand giving you trouble?”

“No, my hand is fine. Yes, there is some pressing matters but I can handle it. But I need your help for a few days.”

“Sure. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yes. No worries. Thanks, Mr Lee.” I chuckled. Hyung is dependable. I am grateful for his help.

“Roger, Mr Lee. “

“Apologise to your wife and kids that you may have to do OT next week. I’ll babysit junior when I am back.”

“Don’t mention that. You covered for me so many times when me and my family went for short holidays around the region during the year”, Hyung replied.

I surfed and booked the earliest possible flight back to Seoul. Multiple transits which I detest are involved but that is the flight that can get me to Seoul the earliest. I reserved it without hestitation.

My packed backpack is always beside my bed. I quickly filled up the cabin luggage (which was not totally unpacked from the earlier trip) and dashed to the airport. While the rest of the passengers are resting, I worked on my laptop to complete the status report. I sent it off the first thing I got internet connection. 

I queued at the Customs.

I looked around.

Familiar sights. Similar sounds.

That was just barely a month ago when I was last here.

Life does funny things.

What am I thinking? What am I doing?

I am still wondering why I did what I did and if I should do it, but I have already done it.

Where is my usual calmness, reasons and logicality?

Equipped with 2 cups of latte, I reached the lobby of your apartment building, mulling over how and what to say.

I called you and is comforted to know that you happen to be on your way back. You were walking into the entrance and I said into the phone, “Please look up.”

You saw me, eyes wide-open, visibly stunned. “Why are you here?”

Your complexion paler. Your eyes are slightly bloodshot. Your feelings written on your face. I could see it. I took a step nearer to you. 

“For you.” I blurted out, before sifting through the 10 prepared explanations, and 100 layers of considerations. Looking into your eyes just triggered my true response.