I was fast asleep in my room but was awoken at around 2 am by a soft voice. It took a while before fully comprehending I was not sleeping but awake.

“It’s me”, he said.

“W-what time is it?” I asked.

“I’m sorry”, Kai answered. He joined me in bed and wrapped his cold arms around me. “I couldn’t sleep well.”

“I know we’ve been sneaking around in each other's room a few times already”, I said. “But we should try to do this less in front of our parents. I don’t want them to think we’re doing something else.”

“Something else?” He asked. “Like what? This?” Kai planted a kiss on the back of my bare shoulder. “More?” He placed his hands on my hips and kissed the lower part of my back.

“S-stop it”, I stuttered.

“Don’t worry”, his hands went back up. “I’m not a bad guy.”

“Who was it who humiliated me in front of the entire school just a few months ago?” I asked.

“I admit it was wrong of me to do it publicly”, he said. “I’m sorry, next time I’ll scold you privately.”

“That’s your way of apologising?” I laughed. “You leave me no words.” 

Later

My eyes were clong closed and dreamland was nearing.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Krystal?” Kai asked. My eyes shut open at the mention of her name and I didn’t answer. “Was she rude to you? Did she say mean things?”

“How did you know?” I asked. I doubted Chen and Kris who were there would have told him about it. Kai wasn’t close to either of them, so it had to be Su Ho.

“She called earlier”, he said. I immediately faced him.

“She called you?” I asked. “She has your number?”

“She told me she met you”, he said.

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Why?” He wondered. “You thought she was going to say something more?”

“Things like she misses you”, I said. “And that she wants you back. Who knows?”

Kai laughed.

“I told you there’s nothing like that between her and me”, he explained. “It’s true she had feelings for me but she always liked Su Ho hyung more.” I began to understand that maybe Kai’s feelings for Krystal were one sided, but then a thought burst in.

“Why did you lie to me then?” I asked.

“About?” He asked.

“About not seeing her in years when you clearly spent summer with her in France.”

“What the-” Kai looked confused. “I didn’t spend sum- Aish, Krystal is really killing me.” Kai sighed. “We didn’t spend summer together in France. Su Ho said she saw me in France but instead of greeting me she tried to reach me on the phone almost every day.  I kept receiving unknown calls on my phone back then but the person never answered when I picked up. I thought it was you so I yelled once because I was annoyed and the phone calls stopped.”

“Why did she lie?” I asked.

“To test you, maybe? I don’t know Krystal is a very tricky person.” I nodded. Indeed she was tricky. Lying, just to test me.

“This was fun”, Kai laughed. “I wish more girls would show interest in me so I can see your jealous side more.”

“There are enough girls out there who like you as it is”, I retorted but he continued laughing. “Stop, it’s not funny.”

“It’s cute”, he nibbled my lower lip with his index and continued laughing. I was stunned. Kai kept surprising me every day.

“Wow”, I said. “What have I done to you?” He stopped laughing. “Lately you’ve been acting like a totally different person. Are you sure you’re the Kai I know?”

“I don’t know”, He agreed. “I just feel… happy.”

“I’m glad”, I said. “It’s nice that your cold heart is warming up.”

“It’s probably going to become cold again when I leave.” Kai mumbled but I had heard what he said clearly.

“When you leave?” I asked. “What do you mean by that?”

“I-I…” Kai struggled to speak. “I didn’t know… I still don’t know how to tell you.” I got up because I sensed the talk was getting serious. Kai did the same thing.

“Tell me what?”

“It’s about college”, he sounded nervous. I suddenly remembered our topic at lunch before. He had seemed uneasy about it and it was making me anxious.

“I’m getting worried”, I said. “What’s wrong?” Kai looked me in the eye.

“I got an early admission scholarship”, he announced. My face brightened and I hugged him.

“That’s wonderful”, I said. “Wow, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to make a special event”, he looked down on his hands. “Since I wanted to let you know first.” A sense of happiness filled me. Kai trusted me enough to tell me something this big first.

“I don’t know what to say. Tha-”

“No”, he said. “Don’t say anything until you’ve listened to everything.” Kai took a deep breath. “The school is overseas. It’s a scholarship to Harvard University.”

The moment that came after his announcement felt like life was over. Mixed emotions overcame me and I didn’t know how to react. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy. I was very happy about his accomplishment, but somewhere inside me was also sadness and I felt it wasn’t right to even be sad about such a good thing happening so I decided to ignore that feeling and focus on the good part of everything. A smile overcame my lips.

“Really?” I asked brightly. Kai gave me a worried glance, but it quickly went away. “I’m so happy for you.” I gave him a big hug and closed my eyes to recover from the shock I still felt.

“R-really?” He asked. “You’re happy?” I smiled before letting go of him.

“Of course”, I assured him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I thought that you’d be m-” He his lips and stopped talking. “It’s nothing.”

“Can we go to sleep right now?” I asked.  “I’m really tired.”

“Of course”, he said. I made sure my back was facing him before I closed my eyes and eased into a difficult sleep.

I hurried to take a bath as soon as I woke up the next morning and got dressed quickly while Kai was sound asleep in bed. After applying facial cream, I was not wearing make-up today, I simply brushed my hair and waited until it would be 7:15 to wake him up. I was chatting with Se Hun on kakao talk when someone knocked on the door and a few seconds later a woman’s head popped inside. It was Mrs. Kim.

“Good morning Ji Eun”, she winked at me. I greeted her back. “Have you seen Kai this morning? I can’t find him. Maybe he left already.”

“He’s sleeping”, I said.

“Sleeping?” She asked. “He is not in his room.” I shyly pointed to the bed where Kai was still sleeping in.

“Over there”, I said. Mrs. Kim glanced at Kai and later at me.

“Ah he slept here again?” She asked. “You guys sleep together a lot don’t you?”

“I’m sorry”, I bowed feeling my cheeks burning up.

“Can you wake him up?” She asked. I thought she was going to leave and let me wake him in private, but she was still there when I walked over to the bed. I felt like I was carrying a few pounds when I Kai’s cheeks.

“Wake up”, I whispered in his ears. He hated it when I woke him up with force. “Jong in?” He turned away from the window he was facing and turned his frowning face towards me. His hand searched for my face and when he found it he smiled and pulled me down for a hug. I heard Mrs. Kim giggle behind me. “Ya! Your mother wants to talk to you.” Kai let me go and opened both his eyes.

“Mom?” He asked.

“Jong In ah”, she said. “You missed this post.” She entered the room and gave him a big letter she’d been holding all this time. “Your dad wants to talk to you later tonight so don’t be late. I have to go to work now. I’ll see you guys later.”

Once she closed the door, Kai left the room to get himself ready for school and I took my backpack and other belongings downstairs to have breakfast with Min Ho.

“Did you sleep well Min Ho ah?” I sat down next to him.

”Yes”, he smiled.

“That’s good”, I said. “How is school going?” Min Ho told me about his school life and I listened to him attentively. It felt like I hadn’t seen him in forever because I didn’t spend as much time with him now as I did in summer. All my recent time was put on his brother.

“What about the girls at school?” I asked. “Is there anyone you like?”

“The girls are always giving me gifts”, he said with a frown. “But I don’t like any of them.”

“You don’t?” I asked. “Aren’t the girls your age full of aegyo?”

“Yeah but they’re all dumb”, he said. I laughed. He was just like his brother.

“The type of girl I hate the most besides those with aegyo are dumb girls.” He shook his head. “I really can’t stand them.”

“You’re so cute I could eat you up right now”, I said and messed up his hair.

“Noona!” He whined. “Don’t touch my hair. It took 10 minutes to style it.”

“I’m sorry”, I apologised. “Noona won’t do it again. Do you want more juice?”

“Yes please”, he said. Kai joined soon after.

“Kai Jr.”, he called. His tone was cold. “Did you doodle on my math book again?”

“N-no”, Min Ho answered. He looked uneasy.

“What did I tell you about lying?” Kai asked him. Min Ho opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

“It wasn’t Min Ho”, I said. “It was me.” Min Ho and Kai both looked at me and I nudged Min Ho’s shoulder so he’d leave. Min Ho quickly left the dining room.

“You’re setting a very good example teaching him it’s okay to lie.”

“I’m not lying”, I said with my most serious expression.

“Kim Min Ho!” Kai said. “I’ll deal with you tonight!” The front door closed immediately and we saw Min Ho run up the road moments later through the window.

“Aigo”, I disapproved. “You really need to use a softer tone when talking to your brother. I don’t want him to grow up like you.”

“What tone?” Kai asked.

“You sound scary”, I said.

“I sound perfectly normal.”

“Sure”, I agreed. “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Are you acting smart right now?” He scoffed.

“I am not acting smart”, I said. “I am smart. It’s a fact now.”

“Says who?”

“Uh”, I thought. “Chen.”

“Chen thinks good things of everybody.”

“Fine”, I said. “There’s Su Ho oppa, Tao oppa, Lu Han, Se Hun, Lime, Chan Yeol oppa, D. O oppa, Baek Hyun Oppa, Lay oppa, Xiu Min oppa and Kris oppa. Just ask them.”

“Wow”, he slumped down in his chair. “How many oppas do you have?”

“Many from the looks of it”, I said. “There are more. I can continue if you want. There is Kyu Hyun oppa, Tae Min oppa and Yun Ho oppa.” Another name popped out. “I almost forgot Chang Min oppa.”

“Ah it’s enough!” He put his hand up to stop me. “I’m getting jealous of your male friends.”

“You better be”, I said. “There’s a long list of people who’d take your place in a heartbeat.” Kai laughed but this quickly stopped.

“Yeah”, he said. “But the one who ticks me off is the tall one, Kris hyung. He keeps making my heart grow dark whenever he's around.” I rolled my eyes. What was up with people being bothered by my friendship with Kris.

“You too?” I asked.

“I’m quite worried about leaving you next month while I go study”, he said. I felt my face heat up and my eyes sting. My breath became unsteady and my nose felt stuffed.  “Who knows what might happen while I’m not here those 4 years?”

Leaving next month? Why was this news to me? I looked at him and saw his smile, but he didn’t know that what he said hit me like a gun shot. I was aware it took around 4 years to get some type of degree in the USA and although I wasn’t fine with not fully having Kai for that long, I was ready to accept it and deal with it. What I wasn’t expecting was that he’d be leaving next month already. I was expecting to have until the end of summer to be together. Kai and I had barely gotten together for more than 2 months and he was going to leave me in just another one.

“Ji Eun?” He called. I didn’t answer him because I couldn’t. It was too much for me. “Go Ji Eun?” I didn’t want to cry in front of him because then he’d think I wasn’t happy about his scholarship but the tears won over me. Kai didn’t move an inch until I started wailing like a newborn baby.

“I’m sorry”, he came to my side. “I shouldn’t have said anything about it. I’m…” Kai didn’t seem to know what to do. “Ji Eun?”

“I c-cant s-to-op”, I managed to say. Kai held me in his arms until my weeping calmed down which took a while. But even then I was still crying, only it was silently.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered. “I’m deeply sorry.”

“I’m sorry too”, I said. “I’m really happy for you, it’s just that… I don’t want to not be able to see you everyday a-and…”

“I know”, he said. “I know. You don’t have to explain it to me. I know exactly how you’re feeling.”

“No you don’t!” I yelled. “You wouldn’t be leaving me if you did.”

“I’m not”, he sounded calm. So calm it made me uncomfortable all over. “I’m not leaving you. I’m just going away for a while.” 

“A while?” I asked. Anger was building up inside and I stepped out of his embrace. “You’re not going to be here for 4 years!” I glared at him. “4 years!”

“Ji Eun”, he began.

“I’m not going to see you for 4 years”, I said. “You’re going to live in America and forget about me-“

“Go Ji Eun!” He yelled. “Will you stop?!” I did as I was told. “You’re not the only one who’s hurting. You think I want to leave you here? You think I won’t miss you to death while I’m there? Do you think I’m not worried you will forget me while I’m gone?” What he said woke me up from my selfish mind. “Sometimes I ask myself if you know how much I actually care about you because it doesn’t seem like you do.”

“I’m-”, I bit my lip.

“I don’t want to hear it”, he turned around and left the house, leaving me alone.

I was left alone regretting having yelled at him. He was right. I’m always so insecure about him that I could only see the part involving me and not the whole. I might be miserable that Kai was going to study abroad for years, but he must feel just as awful for having to leave me. He probably blamed himself.

A/N

Guys, there are only two remaining chapters to the story after this chapter. But do noww worry. This isn't the end for Go Ji Eun and Kim Jong In. I have plans on releasing a part 2.

Hope you  enjoyed the latest updates