I held on tight to the bouquet of white roses that were in my hands and looked up. There he was, proudly standing in front of me after everything we had been through. I was standing in the middle of a rose garden under a clear blue sky. I could feel the sun hitting my right shoulder. The rays where giving off a pleasant warmth simliar to the butterflies that had been bubbling up inside of me all day. In the background I could hear beautiful guitar strings portraying the melody of Bon Iver’s Holocene. This was it. The moment I had been waiting on for years.

“Kim Jong In and Go Ji eun”, the pastor said. His voice was oddly similar to my homeroom teacher’s. ”I now pronounce you boyfriend and girlfriend. You may kiss.”

I tiptoed to reach the height of my newlyboyfriend and leaned forward for a kiss when I felt a tug at my dress. Unwilling to let anything ruin this perfect moment I continued to lean forward.

”Go Ji Eun”, a distant voice called. I tried to ignore it but the voice only got stronger. ”GO JI EUN!” Annoyed, I unwillingly turned around. The flower field and beautiful sky were instantly replaced by a dark shadow hovering on top of me. ”Wake up!” 

That’s when it hit me, there were no newlyboyfriend or pastor. I was dreaming and had unfortunately awoken to my sad reality that was my bedroom. The shadow hovering on top of me was none other than Lu Han. Disappointed, I rolled around my bed in agitation.

“Why are you in my room?” I whined. ”I was getting married, Lu!” Lu Han shook his head disapprovingly.

“Good morning to you too”, he greeted. ”Your dad let me in.” I sighed and unwillingly got out of bed. 

”Where were you yesterday? You missed all the fun.” I asked. I had organised a little get together with some of my classmates last night to celebrate the end of winter break and things had gone a little overboard. For some reason Lu Han had abstained from my little party which was very uncharacteristic of him. I can’t remember the last time I had gone to an event without Lu Han there.

“I had to help my dad with something”, he explained as he made his way out of my bedroom. “Saw the snaps, though. You guys definitely had a blast.” I smiled. We actually didn’t do much besides eating and playing games which although sounded boring was very much the opposite. ”I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

Once Lu Han left the room, I quickly pulled out my phone.  As I saw several notifications from instagram, my heart skipped a beat. I quickly entered my direct messages and scrolled through my unread messages to see if I had received anything form him. But there was nothing.  It had almost been three weeks since I had let my crush know of my feelings for him through direct message on Instagram. Last time I checked, which was last night before going to bed, the message was still left on sent meaning two things: that he hadn’t seen / read the message or that he had read part of it via his notifications and ignored it. Just the thought of him maybe ignoring my message crushed me. Maybe I should write something more?

With my heartbeat slowly rising, I tapped the screen to reveal the message itself. As I was about to type down a second message, I saw the little text that let you know if the other had read your message had changed from sent to seen. I let out a little squeal without thought. He had read my message sometime during the pass six hours I had slept meaning I could expect an answer anytime during the next 24 hours. As I made my way to the bathroom, I felt my cheeks flush up. I had this feeling today was going to be a good day.

I made my way down the stairs to the kitchen after a quick shower. Lu Han was eating the breakfast my father had prepared. My father was a chef and he had a love for food that was hard to describe. Ever since I was little, he would make it his duty to cook breakfast for me every morning before leaving for work. It didn’t matter if he had to be at work at 3 or 4 am. When I came to the kitchen in the mornings breakfast was always on the table with a note. I grabbed the purple post it note that was on the table to read the message of the day. A smile popped up my face as I read them. 

”Naw”, Lu Han teased. ”Your daddy loves you.” 

”Shut up”, I jokingly answered. ”Don’t eat everyting, I’m hungry too.” Lu Han laughed as he slurped on the broth my father cooked. I grabbed myself a bowl of rice and sat down. As I was eating, I started smelling a strange off-putting odor. I sniffed the different dishes to make sure nothing was rotten but it wasn’t the food. It was something else.

”What is it?” Lu han stopped eating. ”Is there something wrong with the food?” 

”I don’t know, it smells weird.” I scrunched up my nose trying to figure out what it was when it occurred to me. ”It smells like rotten eggs.” Lu Han sniffed the egg side dish.

”Smells fine to me”, he took a bite of the egg roll. ”Tastes fine too.” I shook my shoulders, not knowing what it was. ”It’s probably the trash.” My phone vibrated. I looked at the caller id and quickly answered.

”Good morning”, I sang. Lee Joo Hee, or Alice as she likes to go by, was one of my closest friends. She and I had first met during freshman year and had been buddies since. 

“JI EUN!” She yelled. Taken aback I pulled the phone away from my ear. Lu Han laughed at my reaction.

“Why are you yelling so early in the morning?” I asked.

“Yah, you better wake up!” She warned in her normal voice. ”You’re late.” As she hung up, I looked at the time and swore under my breath.

Before winter break my homeroom teacher, my father and I had a talk about my school ”ethics”. When junior year started, I became a sloppy student. My bad grades and attendance record got worse and sometime’s I would skip school just for the sake of it. The disappointment on my dad’s face that day made me promise to turn on a new leaf during the second semester of junior year. I was going to do my homework, come on time and you know actually do what a student is supposed to do, study. Yet here I was on the first day of the second semester and already I was half an hour late.

“Lu, we gotta go.” 

Lu han didn’t need to be told twice. We left the house for school on his bicycle. 

We made it into school grounds a mere 15 minutes later and ran through the hallway at the fullest speed the floor and our clothing could allow us to go. As we ran up the stairs, we bumped into one of the scariest teacher at the school: Kwon Boa.

”No running in the stairs”, she warned. Her soft voice which was so different from her personality bounced off the empty walls, creating an echo. I immediately slowed down with my head bowed down and tugged at Lu Han’s uniform so he would follow suit. ”You guys are from Lee Teuk’s class, aren’t you?” Lu Han nodded and she shook her head in disapproval. 

I didn’t say anything as I was too afraid to get reprimanded or worse get suspended. Boa was notorious for being cold blooded to all students except the ones she was in charge of. When I was a freshman, she once found two female sophomores making out in one of the bathrooms on the second floor and sent them to detention for three weeks for indecent behaviour simply because they had ditched a school announcement to pursue that other activity. During my sophomore year, she suspended a fellow sophomore for a day simply for swearing during her class. Her actions had earned her the nickname Cersei.

“You are just as uncivilised as your teacher.” She walked pass us and continued down to the lower floor. Once she was gone, Lu Han and I sped up the stairs to the third floor and slowed down once in front of 3D, our class, main classroom.

“We’re sorry we’re late!” Lu Han and I bowed as we stepped in. We quickly realised the class was pretty much empty and only Alice was occupying the room. I gave her a quick hug and got rid of my heavy backpack.

“Where is everyone?”, I asked.

”In the foyer”, she answered.

”Yah! Aren’t you going to greet me too?” Lu Han complaimed. ”I haven’t seen you for weeks.” He gave her a long hug. ”I’ve lowkey missed you.”

“Are you sure?” Alice playfully looked at Lu Han and then at me. I saw Lu Han’s cheeks shift to a light crimson color and felt embarrassed. Alice was hinting at the fact that Lu Han had a crush on me. I

t all began during the end of freshman year. Lu Han and I had gone in the same class for almost a year but never had any interaction with each other until that one time we became partners for a history project. We then hung out as friends during the summer and that’s when Lu Han grew feelings for me. He never hid this from me or anyone and has always been upfront about how he feels about me. I on the other hand never felt he same about him, which I had told him and to this day continued to do. By the time Lu Han had fallen for me, my heart was already preoccupied by another. 

Lu Han cleared his throat.

“I’ll just go ahead to the foyer and let you ladies talk.”, he said. Alice and I watched him go. As soon as he was gone Alice looked at me.

“I feel so sorry for him”, I answered her questioning eyes.

“I know you do”, she said. ”One beautiful day, he will wake up and his feelings for you will be gone. Hopefully, it’ll be soon.” She clapped my shoulder and we headed to the foyer. My school had a common room with a tv, soffas and games such as a fuse ball table where students could just chill in-between classes. Although private school made my life harder, this was one of the perks that came with it. We were nearing the first floor when Alice gasped. ”Oh my god, did he answer you?” I sighed when I thought about him, my crush for the past three years. 

“I wish”, I answered as we finally saw the double doors leading to the common room. ”I saw that he read it this morning but… ”

“I don’t get it”, Alice waved at a bunch of friends when we made it inside. Usually the common room was busy with at least 30 students plus at once but today it was full house. Literally everyone was present. “The lyrics you wrote was so beautiful but you get nothing? That guy is-”

“There she is!” Someone yelled, pointing their fingers at Alice and me. Alice and I looked around us wondering what was going on when my heart stopped. There he was again. Kim Jong In, or Kai as everyone called him. 

The first time I saw him was at an ice cream booth the summer before freshman year. I was buying ice cream and he just showed up from nowhere standing there right next to me in the queue. Back then I didn’t recognise him, but I had heard of him. Everyone in my age who lived in Seoul knew of his name. Kai was infamous for being one of the smartest kids in the entire city of Seoul. He wasn’t the average teenage guy as he excelled in everything he did, whether it was sports, arts, school, social life. 

I always believed in love at first sight, and the first time I saw Kai I knew he was the one for me. After that first encounter my summer was ruined because I thought I’d never see him again. However when I saw him again the first day of Freshman year, I knew it was destiny and that we were meant to be together. How that was going to happen? I didn’t know, but I knew it was.

Back in the present day, Kai stood tall in his all black school uniform as if making a statement that he was better than everyone else in the room. His jet black hair was perfectly combed and his matching eyes where as dark as I knew them to be. He was walking around, taking composed but powerful steps as if he was looking for someone.

“What is going on?” Alice asked making me more nervous than I was as I also didn’t know. The students where looking at us and gossiping.

“I have no idea”, I said without losing sight of Kai. “Let’s just play along.” As soon as I uttered those words I met eyes with Kai and literally froze. My heart stopped again and I felt the palms of hands heat up. Kai was heading towards Alice and I and looking at me straight in my widened eyes. Is this what I thought it could be? Was Kai going to accept my feelings for him?

“Am I seeing things or is Kai actually looking at us?” Alice asked. The closer he got the more I realised I couldn’t answer her because I didn’t know what type of noise would leave my mouth if I opened it. I was in no way going to humiliate myself in front of the Kim Jong In.

“Are you Go Ji Eun?” Kai asked when he finally stood in front of us. My eyes widened when I heard his voice so close to me. I couldn’t believe this. Kai, the guy that I had been crushing on for three years, whom I had never spoken to before; Kai who I didn’t even think knew I existed was standing in front of me. Kai was talking to ME! “You sent this, didn’t you?” Kai showed me the screen of his phone. I recognised my profile and the message I had sent him and freaked out inside. Was this really happening?

“Y…yes”, I answered with a big smile. Finally! Was Kai going to accept me as his newlygirlfriend? Was this really happening?

”Alright,” Kai his lower lip making me feel fuzzy inside. ”Watch this carefully.” He showed me his phone screen that was displaying the direct message I had sent him. Feeling a mountain of colliding emotions such as happiness and excitement, I carefully watched as he pressed the icon on the top right side of the screen and anticipated his next action.  He then did something that took away all of the wonderfulness I felt a second ago. He pressed one of the red texts / buttons. I heard Alice gasp.

“Did he just-?” Alice asked. She was too shocked to even finish her question. Honestly, so was I. 

Kai had just blocked me on instagram.

A/N

The first chapter is out! What do you guys think?