”Why do you look so shocked?” Kai asked. I furrowed my brows, not knowing what to say. Kai had just blocked me on instagram in front of the entire school and now everyone was watching what was happening.

“Y…”, I tried. ”You…”

”Do you want to know why I blocked you?” He continued. ”Before that, I have a question to ask you. You go to class 3D right?” I slowly nodded not knowing what was actually going on. ”Don’t you people from that dumb class have anything better to do?” His words hit me in my gut as they resonated in the common room and everyone stood quiet as a mouse.

Don’t get it wrong what he’d said wasn’t what hurt me, because whether or not I wanted to admit it, it was true. My class was known as the dumbest junior class in the entire school. In fact let me tell you a little about my school system. Each high school grade was separated in 4 different classes ranking from A to D. The students in the A classes where the most intelligent of their grades, exhibit A people like Kai. Naturally the students in the D classes where the least intelligent, or to put it simply like Kai had, the dumbest - exhibit B people like me.

Like I said, Kai’s words weren’t what hurt me. It was the way he had said it. His tone had come of as better than thou and arrogant. Just like the way he walked and stood, the way he had spoken to me was condescending. I already walked around feeling stupid evryday and hearing the guy I was crushing on highlight my insecurities made me feel that much more worthless. 

But that wasn’t the end of it. Kai had much more to say.

”Instead of writing worthless declarations of love, why don’t you people study? You know grow a few brain cells? Or better yet why don’t you just stay in your group and not try involving other smart people with you?” He scoffed while looking at me. My hands where clenched tight and my cheeks where firing up. ”If there’s one thing you should now about me is that I dislike girls like you. Girls with no goals and nothing in their mind but boys.” He put his hand in his pocket and took a deep breath.

”All of you listen carefully”, he spoke loudly and turned his head to the students that where watching the scenario. ”As of today, if you ever send me a love declaration anywhere on social media, I will block you.” He looked at me. ”You need to stop wasting your time and live your life meaningfully. Get smarter and get better because you and I, it’s never happening.” With that said, he turned around and took confident steps as if nothing had just happened. As if he hadn't just rejected me in the front of the entire school. 

The only thing I could do was gawk at him with my mouth open. Out of all possible scenarios that had gone through my head since writing my love declaration I would have never imagined this to happen. Although I didn’t personally know, I could tell by the way he walked around school that he was a cold person. However cold to the point of humiliating me in front of the entire school? That I didn’t know. Never in my life had I met a person who was so brutal with the way they spoke. Never in my life would I think I’d meet a person who had no ounce of sympathy for another person.

I felt rejected, humiliated, embarassed and worse I couldn’t even think of anything to say to him to redeem myself. I looked around and felt dozens of eyes on me. My eyes where watering and I knew that in a matter of seconds I would be crying. Determined not to humiliate myself further, I took a step towards the door but felt a pair of hands on my shoulder pulling me back. I looked at the person, it was Lu Han.

“Ya” He yelled so loudly everyone turned their attention from me to him. ”Stop right there, Kai.” Kai who was at the door at this point turned around. His face was blank and emotionless. I could tell that what had just happened hadn’t affected him in any way at all. Lu Han pointed his finger at Kai who raised an eyebrow. “You just stay where you are and wait.” I thought Lu Han was going to do something to Kai but instead he turned to me. Lu Han looked at me with so much sadness in the eyes I had to fight harder to not cry.

“You wrote this bastard a love declaration?” He asked me. People were staring at the both of us. “Really Ji Eun? How could you write a love letter to that jerk when you and I are supposed to be together?” As soon as he said that, whispers grew loud in the room as the gossiping began and I knew my face was redder than the colour red itself.

“You’re not together!” Someone in the back yelled and the students laughed. I could recognise that voice anywhere. It was another one of my classmates, Lime. I was about to say something when I heard a cackle. Kai was laughing. He was actually laughing.

“Wait,” he said while looking at me. ”So you have a boyfriend and you wrote me a love letter?” He looked at Lu Han. ”That must hurt.”

”Ya, you heartless bastard!” Lu Han walked to Kai with determined steps. ”Who do you think you are? You think just because you’re good looking, smart and popular you can talk to a girl like that? Do you even know how she must feel right now?” Lu Han stood before Kai as the later stared down at Lu Han without saying anything. The differences between them where as clear as day. Although both where good looking, Kai towered over Lu Han with his tall height and more in shape build.

As I was watching the both of them eye each other as if they where sworn enemies, I felt my anxiety levels rise up.

“Just stop it Lu Han”, I pleaded. ”Just let it go.”

“No”, he refused. “If you can’t stand up for yourself than I will.” He and Kai continued to stare at each other. “Did you even read what she wrote? When a girl takes time to write down her feelings for you, the basic thing to do is read it.”

“Actually I did”, Kai answered to my surprise. “It was nicely written, really.” He turned to me. ”It’s a shame. She could make it far if she worked that hard on her studies.”

The backhanded compliment and highly infused shade made my blood boil. Suddenly as I looked at him, his beautiful and god like image changed. Instead I was now seeing a devil with red horns and a long tail in front of me. To put it nicely, Kim Jong In was indeed a heartless bastard.

“Apologize” Lu Han demanded but Kai retained his poker face. Lu Han started rolling his sleeves up. “You’re asking for it aren’t you? I’m going to punch you.”

My phone rang interrupting the disaster that was happening. 

“Hello?” I answered.

“Ji Eun ah!” I could barely hear my father’s voice. He was surrounded by wailing sirens and loud voices.

“Dad?” I tried again. ”I can’t hear you.”

“I need you to go to the restaurant right now”, my father spoke louder. “Something has happened to the house.”

“What do you mean?” I worried. ”Dad, is everything alright?”

“If you can, watch the news before coming. I’ll see you at the restaurant.” As he hung up I was left more confused and worried. Had something happened to my dad?

“What is it?” Alice asked. I awoke from my mudded thoughts and searched around for the remote control.

”Someone turn on the news immediately”, I asked. It didn’t take long for someone to do so.

I didn’t have to look for what my father wanted me to see, it was right there in front of me on the tv screen. The volume was raised as everyone turned quiet while watching the disaster that was happening. A woman on SBS was reporting live. In the background I could see several firefighter trucks and police cars.

“It wasn’t until 10:18 this morning”, the reporter began, “that a woman called 911 because of an explosion that had taken place in one of the many houses in Seodaemun district.”

“Seodaemun district?” Alice exclaimed. “Isn’t that where you live?” I nodded and anxiously looked at the tv screen while processing the information.

There had been an explosion where we lived and according to the reporter only one house had been affected. I thought of our neighbours and prayed that no one had been hurt during the incident. 

“As you can see”, the reporter continued. “I’m here at the scene and it is clearly a tragedy. The firemen are working hard to extinguish the fire and the neighbours have all evacuated their homes but the thing we are all curious about is how the explosion came to be. Police have told us about a possible gas leak which has caused the area to be closed off. The house owner is also here with us and we would like to ask him some questions.” The reporter approached a group of people. “Excuse me, sir!” The house owner looked at the camera and I had to hold on to Alice because my legs went numb as soon as I saw his face.

“Isn’t that your father?” Lu Han asked.

“No comment”, my father said and stepped away from the camera.

“Unfortunately the house’s owner does not wish to comment on anything right now”, the reporter said. “But according to neighbours that where willing to talk, the house owner had lived in this house for 16 years with his daughter. It’s unfortunate for them to have this tragedy happen…”

“Wait”, Lu Han looked at me. “Gas leak? Didn’t you say it smelled weird this morning?” I remembered the odd smell that had been in the kitchen. Was that the sign of the gas leak? Would the house not have exploded if I had realised what it was and called it in? Was the explosion my fault?

“Look at me, Ji Eun”, Lu Han grabbed me by the shoulder and I came back to my senses. I looked at him but I wasn’t really seeing him. My head was spinning and my breathing was speeding up. ”It’s going to be okay, alright?” I slowly nodded not believing that it was going to be alright at all. ”Come, I’ll take you there.” He grabbed my hand and we walked pass kai and left the foyer in a hurry.

“I’m so sorry, dad”, I apologised while kneeling down in my father’s restaurant. Two hours had passed since Lu Han and I left school. “It was my fault. Please forgive me. If only I had called you about the smell.”

“No, father”, Lu Han who was kneeling next to me said. “Blame me. It was my fault. I was the one who told her it was nothing. Please do not punish Ji Eun. Punish me instead.”

“Just stop it already”, Jae Hyun, my father smiled. “I’m not punishing anybody. What happened had nothing to do with you. Apologising about something you didn’t do won’t turn time back. We have much more things to worry about right now.”

“Right”, Lu Han got up and helped me up in the process. “About that, I might have a solution.” 

My father and I looked at Lu Han. I didn’t know what he was going to say but knowing him I had a hunch it wasn’t going to be much of a solution at all. And just like I thought, Lu Han put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. I looked at his arm and then at my shoulder and lastly at him.

“And what kind of solution do you have in mind?” My father looked at Lu Han suspiciously.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now so I’ll just go ahead and say it”, Lu Han cleared his throat. “Please let me marry your daughter.” I almost chocked on my own saliva and my father violently coughed. “Father, are you okay?”

“I’m fine”, my father said when he finished coughing. “Did I just hear you ask me to let you marry my daughter?”

“Yes sir”, Lu Han said. ”You can live with me while you’re looking for a new place. Then when I graduate from high school I’ll immediately start working and then I’ll buy a house where you can live with us and I…”

“Alright!” My father interrupted Lu Han. “What do you have to say to all of this Ji Eun?” 

Lu Han looked at me with his cute smile. Honestly speaking I thought Lu Han was straight up spouting out nonsense. And also, I didn’t want to marry Lu Han. Sure, he was very nice and warm to me but I only thought of him as a friend and getting married right now didn’t sound that appealing to me. I was only 17 for Kpop’s sake. Marrying someone was the last thing on my mind.

“Since you’re not talking”, my dad continued, “I will speak for you.” He looked at Lu Han. “No.”

“But”, Lu Han whined. “Please just think about it. I won’t rush you b…”

My dad’s cellphone rang.

“Go Jae Hyun speaking”, he said.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lu Han whispered.

“Lu,” I began as i grabbed my backpack. ”I don’t want to be married.”

“Are you sure it’s you don’t want to be married and not you don’t want to be married to me?”

“Kim Tae Ri?” My father smiled brightly. “How many years has it been?” I waved goodbye at my father and left the restaurant with Lu Han. A few steps away from the entrance, Lu Han grabbed my shoulder.

“You didn’t answer me.” 

I looked at him and saw anger in him which annoyed and confused me at the same time. 

I was confused because Lu Han was not the kind of person to get angry at my rejection. No matter the situation whenever I told Lu Han I didn't see him in romantic way, he would keep a smile on his face. But this time it was different, he wasn’t smiling nor did he look happy which made me uneasy. Yet although I was confused I couldn’t help but be annoyed at him. I had lost count of how many times I had told Lu Han that I wasn’t interested yet he didn’t seem to take my words in. By the way he looked, maybe he was finally listening to me?

“I don’t want to be married”, I answered trutfully.

“What if Kai was the one asking for your hand?” He pressed his lips together as if he didn’t want to ask the next question, but he did anyway. “You would have accepted right away without any second thoughts right?”

“I…” I looked around trying not to meet Lu Han’s eyes. I didn’t know what to answer as I had mixed up feelings about Kai right now. Although I didn’t want to be married, I was about 100% sure that I would have answered yes, had Lu asked me a few hours ago. As of now however, my answer was a definite no.

“You know what?” Lu Han let me go. “I don’t want to know.” He smiled and tucked my hair behind my ears. “Why don’t we go back to school? We might be able to at least have one lesson today.” He got his bicycle and took us to school. 

”I’m sorry for not sharing your feelings, Lu Han” I said. I couldn’t tell if he had heard or understood me but I didn’t care. After months of repeating the same thing, this was the last time I would feel bad for not liking him the way he liked me.