A daisy for my baby

I’m sorry if my previous chapter disappointed or triggered you, but I’m not a heartless person that killed a baby in the story for my satisfaction, I’m also a mother, I have a daughter, I did that for a specific purpose which is the plot in the story, but I hope you can understand me, thank you.

“nooo,,,do something doctor, he can’t die, my baby can’t die, ji please do something” seungri sobbing till he passed out, jiyong can’t do anything, he just hugged seungri and always by his side until seungri transferred to the recovery room, doctor choi has made every effort to save the baby, but fate tells otherwise, the baby died from symptoms of preeclampsia during pregnancy and eclampsia that occurred at the time of giving birth, after everything is settled doctor choi explain everything to jiyong, that since begining seungri’s pregnancy is so srisk due to his high blood pressure and eclampsia, that syndrome have appeared in his last month pregnancy, seungri feel tired, swollen feet, muscle pain, but they do not think that it is a symptom of pre eclampsia that emerged during pregnancy, they think it is only the effect caused by fatigue during pregnancy exercise, doctor choi also has explained that the most worrying syndrome is eclampsia that appears at the time of give birth, the effects of eclampsia is very dangerous because it can be fatal which can lead to death for the baby, but their struggle during this time to keep their baby alive vanish after doctor choi say that their baby died, doctor choi explained to seungri and jiyong big family because he as a personal doctor of kwon family, they finally can accept the fact, and also jiyong who initially so hard to accepted that their baby can not survive.

Seungri is the most devastated by the death of their baby, he always confines himself in his room and does not want to talk to anyone including his parents, at night seungri always have nightmare about his baby, maybe because he can not accept yet with the death of his baby, jiyong tries to give time and space for hir husband as long as he wants, even Jiyong allow his mother in law to take seungri to live in her mother-in-law's house for awhile when he is not at home and maybe that way they hope seungri will not remember about it anymore, even all the baby equipments that they have prepared in special room is closed while somewhat seungri can not get into in and crying again.

“no,,no,,my baby,,you can’t take it away, give him back,,no,,noooo” seungri woken up from his bad dream, for the umpteenth time he had the same nightmare, he was always haunted by the dream of his baby taken from his arms, since their baby died he could never sleep peacefully and soundly.

“what happen ri?"

"ji,,that guy take my baby, i want my baby back, please bring him back ji, please, he is my baby, he can’t take my baby, he need me ji, our son need me"

"ri, our baby is dead, he is in heaven now"

"no, you are lying, you are lying with me, doctor choi, appa, omma, all of you are lying, you take my baby from me, give me back my baby, give me bacckkk" Seungri revolts to pull Jiyong's cloth and hit his chest

“baby please” jiyong trying to calm him down

“no,,giving back my baby to me,I want my baby,he is not die” seungri sobbing in jiyong’s arm,jiyong hug his husband tight and crying with him, he also feels devastated with all this, but life being cruel with them, they have just felt the happiness of having a child, but fate does not seem to allow them to feel that happiness completely. That night they drifted to sleep while hugging each other and sobbing, they always spend many nights crying in each other arms, trying look for some comforts from their sorrow.

“good morning baby, I have made breakfast for you” jiyong put the tray on the bed

“I’m not hungry” seungri shook his head and lay back down, he stared at the window but his stare was blank.

"but you have to eat something ri, last night you did not eat at all, this morning you have to eat baby"

"i miss him ji" tears trickling down his cheeks

"me too, you want us to visit him?"

"really?" Seungri turned his gaze to Jiyong with a vivid gaze

"ofcourse, but you must have breakfast first, after that we will go visit him"

"thank you ji" seungri hug his husband tightly, he is very lucky, when he is sad or at the lowest point of his life jiyong always there beside him, he always try to look tough in front of seungri, because jiyong know that all this already hard for seungri, jiyong don’t want this sadness more deeper, but that does not mean jiyong not sad at all with the death of their baby, but he just want to try to be tough.

Today became the one-month anniversary of their baby's death jiyong promised to take seungri to their baby's grave, when they missed him they will visited him, kwon so hyun, that's their baby's name, the name that jiyong and seungri prepared for him, although the name is now written on a tombstone but they will remember that name in their hearts forever.

“so hyun ah, how are you there? papa missed you baby"he wiped the tombstone that written the name of their baby.

"today papa and daddy come to visit, we really missed you dear" tears dripping wetting the tombstone, jiyong sitting while holding seungri

"I’m sorry baby, we can’t save you, we are bad parents, forgive us dear, i hope you find good parent in heaven there, you deserve it" seungri let it out all of his grief in front of his son's grave, he kept crying while sobbing , and Jiyong just cry in silent beside his husband.

"baby, I have a surprise for you" jiyong looked at his husband

"What is that?"

"I plant a flower for you"

"flower?"

"uh-huh" jiyong nodded

"what flower?" seungri asked with a confused expression on his face

"daisy, because i know you like daisy then I plant it"

"really? Where is the flower now?"

"I put it on the balcony of our room, come with me"

jiyong pulls seungri’s hand and walks towards the balcony of their room, there lies a daisies planted in a brown ceramic pot.

"why did you suddenly give this daisy ji?"

"this is not just a common daisy, in this flower there is ash from our baby's placenta that I ask to be burned and I mixed the ashes in this flower’s soil, with the growth of this flower then along with that the part of our son will keep growing in this flower, with that we can take care of him together and will always be with us in this house "jiyong explained while staring and holding the daisy.

"oh my god ji, thank you so much honey, i love you ji" seungri hug jiyong tightly, he did not expect that jiyong’s love and attention so deep that he got to do all this in order to keep their baby's memories live with them.

"i love you too honey” jiyong hugging back seungri tightly, he feels so happy finally he get it back again, the smile that always adorns on seungri's face, that smile disappears after their baby’s death, Jiyong promises to do anything to see the smile back.

“I wanna put it in our room, may i?” seungri asked jiyong

“ofcourse honey, you can put it wherever you want”

Seungri take the daisy on his dresser, he put it carefully, coz for him that’s not a common daisy but a part of their baby were on that flower.

“honey,tomorrow I’ll go to paris, our company will held a launching ceremony for our new fashion brand there, you wanna come with me?”

“I would love to but I guess you will be very busy taking care of everything, I’m afraid I’ll disturb you”

“ofcourse not honey, I’ll be glad if you come with me, consider it will be our holiday in paris, and for your information youngbae will be there too, because bae as our brand ambassador in korea, so he can accompany you when I'm busy, what do you say?” jiyong asked while holding seungri waist

“if you say so, then I’ll go”

“great, I’ll call my secretary to prepare everything we need”

“okay”

Jiyong take advantage of the moment of this business trip to be a vacation moment as well as honeymoon for the umpteenth time with seungri, he hopes with this trip to paris seungri will happy again. While on the plane Seungri does not talk much, he just watches, eats and drinks wine ordered by jiyong, it's been long enough he has not traveled overseas since he became pregnant, this became his first journey after the birth of their baby. when they arrived at hotel he lay down and stretched his body, he felt tired maybe the effects of jetleg during