He couldn't understand how Hoseok seemed so normal. He couldn't understand how the other seemed to live on as if nothing had ever happened between them. He couldn't understand how he was smiling around at this party without a care in the world while Taehyung was still trying to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

They hadn't seen each other in months, almost a year now, but Taehyung wasn't even close to being over him.

He knew it would be hard to see Hoseok again, but he hadn't been prepared for the reality of it. As soon as he had spotted him, he basically stumbled to the bar to get his first drink so he could hopefully somehow survive this party.

It wasn't the last drink of the night and Taehyung kept himself in corners, looking gloomy and downing one drink after the other. Every time Hoseok was near, he fled the situation and withdrew somewhere where he could calm his pounding heart.

He wasn't ready. He absolutely wasn't. Yet he couldn't bring himself to leave the party. His heart was pulling him towards Hoseok even though he knew it would only make everything worse and cause him more pain.

When he had once again calmed down his heart rate, he felt ready to get back to the party, so he went back inside and rounded a corner, bumping into someone. When he looked up and met Hoseok's eyes, his heart was thrown back into turmoil.

He forgot to breathe for a moment and just stared at him with a troubled expression.

His mind was screaming for him to move, to run away. But his heart kept his feet in place.

"There you are..." Hoseok said and smiled his breathtaking smile as Taehyung's breath hitched at the feeling that rushed through him when he heard his voice after such a long time. Taehyung then finally manaed to tear his eyes away and looked down.

"Jimin told me you're here, but somehow I couldn't find you. Were you hiding from me?" Hoseok said with a playful tone and Taehyung bit his lip. If only Hoseok knew how true that was...

"Sorry, I gotta go..." Taehyung mumbled and gathered all of his courage to walk past Hoseok, but the older grabbed his arm and turned to him.

"Hey...don't just...it's been a while Tae...I just wanted to talk a little...how are you? How is it going?" Hoseok said and Taehyung looked up at him in shock, tugging his arm free.

"You...w-what?!" he blurted out, feeling his heart clenching in anguish.

"You want to chat? I'm sorry, but I can't. I just can't! It may be alright with you and you may be ready to do casual smalltalk, but I'm not! You may be over this, but I'm not..." he said and tried to hold back his tears as his emotions washed over him. He stepped a little closer to fiercely stare into Hoseok's eyes, even though it pained him.

"I'm not over you, Hoseok. And I'm not sure if I'll ever be..."

As he turned to run so he could find a quiet place to cry his heart out, Hoseok grabbed him and backed him up against the wall. Taehyung gasped in surprise when he looked up and found Hoseok's face unbearably close to his.

“Tae~” Hoseok started and to hear him say his name again like that, with so much intimacy lingering in it, made Taehyung ache more than he thought he would.

“Don't! Don't, I can't take that, let me-” Taehyung babbled and shook his head, trying to writhe out of Hoseok's grip.

“Tae...I'm so sorry, please...don't push me away.” Hoseok whispered and Taehyung couldn't believe the agony he could hear in his voice. Taehyung felt tears well up.

“Please don't play with me like that...I can't take it.” he mumbled as the first tears made their way down his cheeks. Hoseok tenderly wiped them away and kissed at the traces, making Taehyung's knees go weak.

“I'm not playing Tae...please believe me...I was wrong...I made a mistake...”

Taehyung gripped at his shirt and looked up at him through his teary lashes. Hoseok stared back into his eyes.

Taehyung in a breath and a moment later Hoseok's lips were pressing to his in a desperate kiss. He tightened his grip on his shirt and whimpered into the kiss, but he couldn't help leaning further into it. Hoseok cupped his cheeks as he kissed him like he was making up for every kiss they missed. Taehyung was past saving. He was already lost in Hoseok again and knew he'd probably never get out of this.