It had been months already since Hoseok had ended it, their thing, whatever it had been, telling Taehyung that it was wrong and that they had to stop. For Taehyung the wound was still aching just as painfully as it had on the first day after their "break-up". If you could even call it that. To him it rather felt like Hoseok had just dumped him and it didn't exactly make things easier that they were still seeing each other every day, basically living together in the dorm, because they were both a part of BTS after all. They had to face each other every day and work with each other. They both kept the talking to a minimum and fortunately the room distribution had changed so they didn't have to sleep in the same room anymore. Taehyung was now sharing a room with Namjoon and Hoseok had stuck with Jimin. Speaking of, not only did Taehyung have to live with his wound every day, another thing was that every time he saw Hoseok and Jimin stick together like glue and laugh and hug he felt like someone was pouring a bag of salt into his wound, but the worst thing of all was that Hoseok didn't seem to be bothered at all. He seemed to act like nothing had happened and it was destroying Taehyung. Little did he know that those past few months had been just as horrible for Hoseok.

Taehyung started to take every chance to get away from the dorm. He met up with friends, idols, actors, whoever was free when he once again couldn't stand being there anymore. He got closer to them and he was happy about every distraction he could get.

It was the worst for Taehyung in the evening when he lay in bed alone and couldn't stop his thoughts from circling, so he more and more often went out in the evening, came back in the middle of the night and then slept for maybe 2 or 3 more hours until they had to get up again to work. That was how he barely kept himself alive. Taehyung thought it was enough, but the other members didn't seem to agree with him there.

One evening after dinner and showers some members were gathered in the living room talking and playing games. Taehyung could hear Hoseok and Jimin laughing. He fished out his phone and texted one of his closer friends to ask them to meet up. Just a few moments later a reply came and Taehyung sighed in relief. Some of them knew that something was going on with him, so they were understanding.

Taehyung got up from his bed and put on a pair of jeans, a comfortable hoodie and a hat to have at least a little bit of disguise. He then grabbed his wallet and his phone before leaving the room. The members seemed to be busy so he just went to the front door.

"Taehyung?" he suddenly heard Namjoon's voice call him from the living room. He took a deep breath and walked back to the living room. He avoided looking at Hoseok or Jimin and focused his eyes on Namjoon.

"Yes?" he then answered.

"Where are you going?" Namjoon asked.

"Just hanging out with some friends."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You looked busy, I didn't want to interrupt."

"Taehyung if you go out it would be nice if you tell us so that we don't worry." Namjoon said. He didn't sound angry, he just sounded worried. Taehyung looked down.

"Okay, I'm sorry...Can I go now?" Taehyung said.

"When will you be back?" Jin asked.

"I don't know, yet." Taehyung answered truthfully and Namjoon sighed.

"Are you gonna come back in the middle of the night again and then sleep only 2 or 3 hours until we have to get up?" Namjoon then asked and Taehyung felt a little bashful.

"That's my business. As long as I get up and work like the rest of you, I don't see a problem." Taehyung said.

"It's not healthy, Taehyung." Jin said.

"Are you done?" Taehyung asked and looked up at them trying to mask his emotions. Namjoon and Jin sighed. He allowed his eyes to drift to Hoseok for just a second and when their eyes met he just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, so he turned around without another word and left...He cried in his friend's arms that night.

A few days later when Taehyung walked into the kitchen in his pyjama he was met by six pairs of eyes staring at him.

"What is it?" he asked. Jin turned around the laptop that was placed on the table in front of him to show him what was on the screen. It was an online article with photos. Taehyung startled a little when he recognized himself in them. One of the photos showed him buried in someone's arms. It didn't explicitly show it, but it was obvious that he was crying and the second photo showed him walking next to the person with their arms linked and the other person's face was clearly recognizable as Byun Baekhyun.

"Care to explain?" Yoongi commented. Taehyung tried to stay composed.

"What's the problem? I met up with Baekhyun hyung, so what? Is it a scandal now to be friends with other idols?" he said and tried to sound nonchalant as he turned around looking for a cup. If he hadn't turned away, maybe he would've noticed how Hoseok was staring at him.

"You're crying in his arms, Taehyung, what's going on?!" Jimin spoke up.

"Nothing." Taehyung said and shrugged. "I don't know we just talked about this and that and got a little emtotional, It's not a big deal."

"I don't believe you!" Yoongi said.

"Taehyung, something's been going on with you lately. I feel like you're avoiding us. You know you can talk to us, whatever it is." Namjoon said. Taehyung turned around and his eyes met Hoseok's. They held eye-contact for longer than they had in months, until Taehyung couldn't stand it anymore and looked away with a sigh.

"I'm alright, guys, you don't have to worry." he said.

"You barely sleep." Namjoon commented.

"I got some sleeping problems, yeah, but that's probably just temporary."

"Is something on your mind?" Jin asked and looked so worried that it nearly broke Taehyung's heart and he felt his emotions boiling up inside him. He loved s and he didn't want them to worry, but he also couldn't exactly just tell them what was actually going on with him, although he was starting to wish he could just let them know how he really felt. He wanted Hoseok to know how he really felt. He wanted him to know what he had done to him, but what would it change?!...

Without a word he fled the kitchen and went to his room. He plopped down on his bed and buried his face in his hands trying to fight the tears that were threatening to break out.

Hoseok was the first one on his feet.

"I'll go." he said determined.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." he said and left the kitchen. He took a deep breath to calm himself before entering Taehyung's room. Taehyung was surprised when he looked up. Hoseok had been the last person he expected to come after him.

"W-What are you doing here?" he asked. Hoseok closed the door and approached him.

"Stay where you are."

"Tae~"

"Don't call me that."

Hoseok walked to the bed, but Taehyung got up and walked away standing with his back towards Hoseok. It was silent for a moment.

"Are you okay?"

"As if you care..." Taehyung mumbled.

"What?" Hoseok asked.

"Leave me alone..."

"I won't...." Hoseok firmly said and Taehyung sighed.

"Was it because of me?" Hoseok then suddenly asked.

"What?" Taehyung asked and turned around.

"Did you cry because of me?" Hoseok clarified and just like that Taehyung was done hiding how he felt.

"Well, what do you think?" he said spitefully. "Yes, it's because of you! You said it was wrong. You said we were wrong! Do you have any idea what you did to me? You just dumped me! And I can't stand being here all day seeing you and being reminded of what we had. It hurts! It freaking hurts!" he said and shoved him.

"I don't get how you can just go on like everything's okay! How can you be okay?" he added and felt tears well up. "How-"

"I'm not okay." Hoseok interrupted him.

"What?" Taehyung aspirated. Hoseok stepped closer until their faces were only inches apart. Taehyung was too shocked to back away.

"I'm NOT okay." Hoseok repeated and pulled him into a longing kiss. Taehyung whimpered and tried to escape, but Hoseok wouldn't let him. Soon, Taehyung gave up and pressed his lips back against Hoseok's. He couldn't help it. He had missed this for too long.

Hoseok tenderly his thumbs over Taehyung's neck as he kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Taehyung's heart fluttered and shudddered and jumped as he kissed him back just as passionately. He felt like his wound was tearing open and healing at the same time.

Hoseok slid his hands down his body and then wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him closer as Taehyung slid his arms around his neck. When they broke the kiss for air they were both panting. Taehyung kept his eyes closed and held onto Hoseok for dear life. He wordlessly prayed and begged for it to be real, to not be just another one of his desperate dreams.

"Tae, I regret what I did every ing day. The last months were hell for me, but I felt ashamed and I just didn't know how to fix this, how to make up for it. I didn't know if you'd even still want me, but I couldn't just stand by and watch you go out every night and wreck yourself anymore. It's wrecking me, too." Hoseok said and his voice was shaking.

"What?" Taehyung asked and opened his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had heard. Hoseok cradled his face in his hands and Taehyung felt himself trembling. He had missed Hoseok's touch so much.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." Hoseok mumbled with his eyes closed as he gently his fingers over Taehyung's cheeks.

"I was wrong, Tae, so wrong, because I was afraid. I need you so much, please tell me you can forgive me."

Taehyung was barely able to process what he was hearing. He just looked up at Hoseok and brought out the only words he could form.

"I love you, Hoseok~ I love you..." he said and looked into Hoseok's eyes with so much emotion.

"God, Tae, I love you, too! I love you so much..." Hoseok said before he kissed him again trying to kiss all the pain and the longing of the past months away and their wounds finally started to heal.