It had been hours since he had sent the last message to Hoseok. Not even seconds later he immediately felt stupid and regretted it, but it had been too late. He felt stupid for seemingly being the only one of them not being over it, still agonizing over the fact that it was over...but was it? How could it? He could still not believe it... How could the tables have turned so fast when weeks or months ago, Taehyung had been the happiest he'd ever been? How could it be like this now when he could remember Hoseok always texting him how much he was looking forward to seeing him? How could it be nothing now, when he could still remember them lying in bed together, exchanging kisses for what felt like hours in the middle of the night...? How could this one weekend suddenly ruin it all?

What would he do with restless sleepless nights like these? How would he spend them? Would he just lie awake until sunrise, his thoughts circling for hours and always ending up at the one thing that was the true reason for it all...?

Hoseok.

No more secret walks in the middle of the night. No more love in the dark. What would he do now?

Taehyung's troubled heart made him toss and turn until his alarm rang and signaled him that it was time to get up and get ready for work. He loved his work, he really did, but on that day, he'd just have to pray that he would get through the day somehow. Maybe his work would at least distract him from his twisted, damaged heart. He didn't know if he had the right to call it 'broken', because he had always known. He had known it would end. He had known that this day would come. He had known that it had no future. But now that they had seemed to come to the end of the road, he just wasn't prepared to let go. Not yet.

After a moment of silent despair, Taehyung reached over the edge of his bed to turn off his alarm. He took a deep breath that resulted in a heavy sigh as he exhaled. He slowly pulled the blanket aside and sat up. For a few seconds he just stared into the darkness of his room, before he got up drudgingly to drag his body to the bathroom to get ready. He the light and walked over to take a look in the mirror...

It didn't surprise him that he looked just as miserable as he felt. How was he supposed to hide his state when it looked this obvious that he wasn't fine. He knew he wouldn't have the strength to fake a smile. And he knew he would break down if anyone asked him if he was fine. 'Cause he wasn't. He absolutely wasn't.

Hoseok was the one who had pulled him out of his last deep hole and now he was the one throwing him into a new one. Who would save him this time? He didn't want anyone else to do it. He only wanted him. And he couldn't imagine ever wanting anyone else at all...

He was lost in his thoughts as he got ready for work and when he opened his fridge, he stared at it blankly and just closed it again. He didn't feel hungry at all, so he just skipped breakfast and soon he was sitting in his car, driving to work and the closer he got, the more he just wanted to turn back, drive home and hide in his bed. But he knew that if he'd stay home, alone with his thoughts and feelings, he'd probably go crazy.

Throughout the morning he tried to focus on work, but he couldn't keep his thoughts off of Hoseok. He felt so utterly helpless and troubled, that a stomach ache settled in his tummy. He knew it wasn't just the skipped breakfast. It was his sorrow that was clawing at his body and making him feel sick. When lunch time rolled around he sat down with his food and just stared at it. His stomach was twisting and turning and after just a few bites he pushed the plate away and sighed heavily, letting his head fall into his hands. His heart was screaming for an action that he didn't want to do, but he had no choice. His heart was winning over his head and made him pull out his phone.

Taehyung hated it. He felt pathetic and he knew he was stooping low, but he couldn't take it anymore. He knew he shouldn't text him. Not now and not like this. But he had no idea how else to survive the rest of that day, so he opened his messenger and typed a chaotic message with his shaky hand.

He needed to see him. Even if it was the last ing time, but he needed to see him at least once more, no matter how stupid and pathetic it was.

After he had hit 'Send' he put his phone down and nervously ran a hand through his hair, taking shaky breaths as his head was listing up every possible answer from Hoseok.

Taehyung couldn't tell if the seconds were running away or passing in slow motion as his head was spinning until his phone buzzed. He gasped and picked up his phone, his heart trembling nervously in his chest as he opened Hoseok's reply.

If Hoseok said yes, Taehyung's day would be saved and he could hope, even if just a tiny bit, but if he said no...it would mean that it was irreversibly ultimately over.

When Taehyung read the words, his heart jumped in relief and he clasped a hand over his mouth, silently thanking any higher power for making this happen.

'It's alright...it's actually bothering me just as much as you...I'll text you as soon as I'm free tonight so you can come over.'

Taehyung was close to tears. Not to the tears he had shed all weekend, but to a different kind. When he looked at the time, though, he noticed that his lunch break was almost over, so he quickly thanked Hoseok and then went back to work with a new hope in his heart. He felt like he'd be fine with dying tomorrow morning if he could just be with Hoseok that night. It was all he wanted, all he needed, all he could think of. And the rest of the day went by faster than before.

When he stepped out of his car, Taehyung felt the chilly air of the night engulfing him and making him shiver lightly. He quickly shut the door of the car and made his way towards the back door that he'd grown so familiar with. On the way his heart was thumping crazily in his chest and when he arrived, he grabbed the door handle and pushed it down. The door was unlocked, as always when Hoseok knew that Taehyung would come over.

The younger male quietly opened the door and stepped inside before closing the door behind him. The hall was mostly dark, the only light that shone into it was coming from the living room. Taehyung took his shoes off and a wave of memories hit him. Memories of the first time he came here and memories of the early mornings when Hoseok would walk him to the door and they would say goodbye several times before they managed to part ways.

Taehyung felt a lump in his throat and tried to swallow it just when Hoseok stepped into the hall. Taehyung gathered his courage and looked up. Although he couldn't properly see Hoseok's face, his heart was racing nervously in his chest, aching for the man standing just a few meters away from him.

Taehyung opened his mouth, but nothing came out and Hoseok suddenly approached him, closing the distance between them to pull the younger male into his arms. Taehyung buried himself in his embrace and clung to him desperately. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Hoseok's neck, breathing shakily into it and the older one only pressed Taehyung closer, both reveling in the familiar feeling of their bodies connecting like this. No one else had ever felt this much like home to Taehyung like Hoseok did. He could barely grasp that he was there, in his arms again when just a day ago, he was so sure that he'd never be able to experience this again. His heart skipped a beat when he felt Hoseok gripping him just as tightly and hugging him closer.

“Are you alright...?” Hoseok asked in his raspy voice, but Taehyung couldn't answer. He wasn't able to form any words. Hoseok squeezed him gently.

“Then let's skip the talking tonight...” The older mumbled and pulled away just a little, his fingers gently sliding to Taehyung's chin to lift his head. The younger kept his eyes closed and just let Hoseok lead him. He lifted his head and he felt Hoseok's hot breath against his lips, making him shudder slightly. Taehyung's lips were trembling and Hoseok slid both hands to Taehyung's neck, grabbing it gently as he leaned in to kiss him. When their lips touched, Taehyung clawed his hands into the other's shirt and pressed his lips to his. Hoseok let out a small noise and kissed him harder. Taehyung's knees were shaking and his heart was overflowing with joy and relief. He had no idea what the hell they were doing or where this was leading, but he didn't care.

It was starting to dawn and Taehyung knew he'd have to get ready for work soon, so he sat up and stretched. A smile was spreading on his face and there was nothing left from the horrible feelings that had filled his heart during the last few days. He didn't know if it would last, but he didn't want to think about that right now. When he felt a hand touch his own, he laced their fingers together and turned to look at Hoseok who was lying next to him, .

For a few moments they just gazed into each other's eyes, trying to find out what their future would be.

“Thank you...” Hoseok mumbled and Taehyung wasn't exactly sure what it was for.

“That's my text...” Taehyung said playfully and their fingers affectionately caressed each other. After a couple more moments of silence, Taehyung broke it.

“Can I come again...?”

Hoseok looked up at him and smiled as he reached up to brush Taehyung's hair out of his face.

“I'll keep the door open...” he said and pulled Taehyung down for another kiss. They both prayed it wouldn't be their last.