author-note: Hey :) I know I've written a lot of dramatic oneshots lately (including this one ^^"), but I'm working on a fluffy one right now. It'll come soon, I promise. Hope you like it! Comment and subscribe <3

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I fixed my tie as I looked in the mirror eyeing myself up and sighed. I had already been dallying and stalling for about an hour and I knew that I'd have to go soon if I didn't want to miss it, but even after contemplating about this for weeks I still wasn't quite sure if I wanted to go at all. Or if I should go....Well, Hoseok had invited me, so maybe he'd actually want me to come...or he had just done it to be polite and was secretly hoping that I wouldn't come.

My thoughts kept chaoticly dashing through my head and confusing me even more.

On the other hand I thought that this might be a chance for me to finally close this chapter of my life and leave it behind, Leave him behind. I mean, what other choice would I have after this day?!

But with every minute passing more and more doubts started to form in my head. What if this was a horrible idea? What if it would make everything worse? But I'd never know if I didn't go, so I took another deep breath and then grabbed my keys, my cellphone and the invitation. I shoved my cellphone into the pocket of my pants and shut the door of my apartment. Then I locked it and left the building walking towards my car. As I drove to the wedding venue I felt my heart beat hard against my chest as if it wanted to break out and flee.

I parked near the location and then walked to the entrance. I nervously played around with the invitation in my hand as I approached the open door. There were excited people all around making me feel even worse. It got gradually clearer to me that this was real. It was really going to happen. And I would be sitting by, watching it all and not being able to do anything against it. I already felt like breaking down and the whole thing hadn't even begun, yet.

I kept my head down as I walked inside and showed the guards my invitation. They let me pass and I followed the mass of people into the hall where the ceremony would be held. There were huge rows of benches, most of them already filled and I felt a bit insecure and nervous. I had no idea where to sit. I searched for a place in the back as hidden as possible and took the best I could take. I sat down and cautiously looked around. When my eyes wandered to the front my heart stopped beating for a second when I spotted him. Hoseok. He was standing at the front where the ceremony would be held talking to someone who seemed to be his groomsman. He was wearing a beautiful suit that made him look even more handsome than he already was and he was smiling brightly, his eyes sparkling. My heart sagged and I could already feel a lump building in my throat, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It had been way too long since I had last seen him and looking at his face felt like it was healing me and tearing me apart at the same time. When I finally managed to look away I let my head fall into my hands and took a couple of deep breaths. I had no idea how long I stayed like that, but at some point someone spoke up. I looked up and saw that the benches had almost completely filled and that people had stopped walking around. The ceremony was beginning. When the beautiful music started and the bride entered the hall everyone got up to look. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt a bit dizzy. I got up a little late, but my eyes weren't on the bride. All I could look at was Hoseok who was standing at the front smiling and waiting for his bride. Every step she took closer to him made my heart ache worse. When she arrived at the front everyone sat back down and the priest started talking. It was all a blur to me. I couldn't hear his words. I just looked at Hoseok and watched my heart break into pieces when he said: “I do!” and then kissed his bride. The ceremony came to an end and everyone got up joyfully hurrying to go congratulate the newly-weds, but I just sat there with a heavy heart not really able to comprehend that this had just happened. And I asked myself, why was I there? Why had I come? What was I doing to myself?

I felt absent-minded as I got up and pressed myself through the mass of people to get to the bathroom. I rushed inside and splashed a handful of water in my face. All I wanted was to run outside and leave, but there was this part of me that was urging me to at least go, say hello and congratulate him before leaving, because it might be my last chance to talk to him at all. I went into one of the cabinets and locked it before leaning against one of the walls closing my eyes. My head was spinning. There were too many feelings flooding my body. I felt miserable and small and stupid. Incredibly stupid, but I couldn't deny the strong desire to talk to him, to look at him one more time up close before walking out of his life forever, but I just wasn't ready, yet. It took me quite a while and a bunch of inner fights to pick up the courage to finally unlock the cabinet and leave the bathroom. There weren't many people left in the halls, they had probably already gone to the huge park nearby where the afterparty would take place. I sighed. Had Hoseok already left, too? Had I missed him? I wasn't really in the mood to turn up at the afterparty looking for him, so I went back inside the big hall looking around, but it was almost empty.

“Damnit.” I mumbled and ran a hand through my hair.

“Taehyung?” A familiar voice suddenly sounded. My head jerked round sharply and I saw Hoseok standing a few meters away looking at me. My breath got caught in my throat.

“You came...” he said silently as if he didn't want anyone to hear it. My heart picked up it's pace again and I felt so troubled that I could barely move.

“I-I....I shouldn't have come.” I finally managed to get out and tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm. He then suddenly pulled me with him.

“What are you doing? Where are we going?” I asked, but he didn't answer. He just looked around and dragged me to a small room at the far end of the hall. He only let go of me when he had shut the door behind us.

“Why did you invite me?” I asked and looked up, but I couldn't keep my eyes on his gorgeous face for too long, it was too much of a torture.

“I-I...I dont know...I thought...I hoped...that maybe we could start anew as friends...I thought maybe enough time would've passed and-”

“WHAT?” I exclaimed in shock and turned around my hands into my hair as I let out a shaky breath. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't be.

“Taehyung-” he started, but I turned around to face him again and interrupted him.

“I ing love you, you bastard!” I shouted. My heart was trembling with emotion. “I love you! I always did and you're marrried, now. MARRIED. How the hell do you expect that to work out?! I didn't come here to throw myself into the pit again, I can't do that. I came to say goodbye, but it's not as easy as I thought.”

Hoseok looked at me shocked and then his expression turned into something else as he approached me. My heart was beating crazily again.

“What-” I started, but he grabbed my face and pressed his lips against mine. My heart skipped a beat and then beat even more furiously than before. I was shocked and confused for a second, but then I broke out of my rigor and melted into his kiss releasing a little desperate sound. He pushed himself against me as he kissed me full of passion and frustration and I responded to his kiss just as passionately. I was going crazy, but there was nothing I could do. When we had to part for air he leaned his forehead against mine. When my mind started to clear again I realised what had just happened.

“Oh my god...” I aspirated. Thoughts kept racing through my mind and it got more and more clear to me how ed up this all was. I picked up all the courage I had left and did what I had to do.

“Goodbye, Hoseok...” I whispered as I fled out of his grip and ran away.