C-XX
Behind The Blue Door
The road back to the house was painfully silence. You know that sound of emptiness the silence produce? It’s impossible the silence has a sound but it actually does and it’s kind of annoying sometimes, well that kind of sound is buzzing on Jungkook’s ear even if he is surrounded by people, by car’s sounds, by music, by voices, he feels nothing, the only thing he is hearing is the annoying sound of this painful silence between the two.
For a moment he felt disappointed at the mere fact he stood up for her and she didn’t appreciated, he literally got himself inside a huge problem and she still doesn’t want to try out, then it hit him, something he already knew but he just didn’t want to accept.
“After we crossed the door, I will be your sister, not… anything else” Roseanne said.
“You’re not my sister”
“Jungkook, please”
“No, you are not” He answered, irritation on his voice.
They are family. They are step-brother/sister. Their parents are married. They have a happy life. They can’t do anything for being together and even if they try that can cost their parents happiness, and how can they be happy knowing they made their parents unhappy and miserable by making them divorce? In what universe those kinds of conversation exist? His dad is very conservative, adding to that, he is very concern about what the exterior sees of him, what people think about him. Does he really think his father will be ok with him being together with his step-sister which was step-sister but now is his girlfriend and can be soon marry? Uhum, yeah, that is very easy to swallow.
Jungkook was the first to put the electronic key in the door. But he was really hesitated to open it. For him there is a hell waiting for his being inside, something will eat him alive, something will bash him and leave him n pieces; the saddest truth is that even if for him it worth it, for the one that truly matters didn’t. But that’s life, maybe this will push him and forced him to concentrate in something that is not her, maybe with time they grow awkward and at the end of the day, they will fall apart and they will moved out and will never see each other again, leaving this a mere experience they will be bitter but in very deep inside happy to remember.
When he opened the door, he saw Bom and Junghwa seated on the table sharing a glass of wine. His father’s face was not the same full of rage and anger as before, maybe because he wanted to hide everything from Bom. They both stepped inside in a total silence when both grownups turned their heads to them.
“Oh hi kids!” Bom said.
Jungwah made a little sign with his head. “You come back” and then offered them a seat. “Come, let’s have dinner”
Jungkook frowned, but still he walked up to them. “Uh… sure, yeah”
The “dinner” where the whole hell started didn’t even had a beginning; it went straight to an inevitable end. And even if they recognized this, is still weird the serenity Junghwa has on his face… it’s a fake one, it’s obvious for both, but is still a serenity. Roseanne walked to seat beside Bom, her head looking down, kind of feeling embarrassment, she doesn’t know what truly is going on or what are Junghwa’s intention with this sudden change of attitude but well, if nothing goes farer for her she is ok.
Bom stood up towards the kitchen to bring the plates and that’s when Jungkook took the chance to ask his father.
“What happened with Lisa and her mother?” Jungkook couldn’t avoid asking.
“Lisa left crying” Junghwa said, in a whisper. “Just crying, her mother insult me and well… you guys totally embarrassed me. I hope you know that”
Silence.
Junghwa then looked at Roseanne, having the same gloomy, not that kind expression that Jungkook was wearing.
“Did something happen?”
Silence.
“No” Jungkook answered. “Nothing happened”
Yeah, that serenity is fake; is an act before Bom. To avoid more problems more discussion, more bitter sweetness. He thinks he is pulling off a good act but Roseanne knows all the scam and the lie, and something inside her knows this is on unfair. Hiding from her mother the humiliation Junghwa made her have by saying something highly important and personal of his life that he didn’t have any right to let people know. She is debating inside her mind if she should tell her mother about it or just leave it that way, she won’t see Lisa ever gaain and she is planning on totally ignoring Jungkook and maybe make a subscription for some kind of Church School, or something that can take her out of the house.
When her mother sat next to her and put the plate in front of her, a sudden guilt hit her guts; she definitely should tell something to her mother, to be honest she doesn’t deserve being seeing as the stupid dumb who doesn’t know everything and believe her life and husband are perfect. Maybe in the past Junghwa was but this events has turned him into something that is not recognizable at all, he is a total monster.
“I want to talk about something important” Junghwa suddenly said. “I think we all need to discuss this and is about the future”
Silence.
“The future?” Bom asked, a little chuckle leaving .
“Yeah” Junghwa said. “Our future as a family”
More silence and also expectations. Neither of the kids have started to eat, both completely confused at his attitude.
“I decided Jungkook” He glanced at his son. “Will serve in the military”
“What?!” Bom and Jungkook asked at unison.
Junghwa smiled. “Yeah, after you graduate from high school you are going straight to the military”
“No” Jungkook suddenly said. “I won’t”
“You are my son and you obey me”
Jungkook frowned. “No. I don’t want that for my life”
“But I do”
“What?}!” He exclaimed again. “That doesn’t make any sense I have a completely different dream”
“I think its time for you to get away from things, forget about things, be independent, and military will teach you those things”
Jungkook staying in silence, watching how selfish his father was being, he knows exactly why he is doing this and who he was referring to by “getting away”. He was total lost of words and he can believe his father has turned to him like this.
“No” Jungkook repeated, this time, challenging. “I won’t be a soldier”
Junghwa frowned. “You are disobeying me?”
“Yes I am!” Jungkook responded. “I will serve the traditional two years and then get out”
“You will go to a full military studies”
“No, dad I won’t!”
“Jungkook!”
“No!” He yelled, standing up from the chair. “I know why you’re doing this. You are doing it out of your malicious intensions of-”
“Of what?”
“Of- of- grounding me for all the things I have done recently!” Jungkook finally responded. “I will go to my traditional two years of service, but I won’t be a soldier afterwards!”
“Are you disrespecting our country?”
“Oh dad! Don’t come at me with that trash!”
“You’re going you wanted or not”
“I won’t”
But he kept pushing. “You will and everything is set”
“You won’t make or force-”
“Tomorrow we will got to have full information”
“No, da-”
“On how we can translate you”
“Dad I-”
“Where will be your place”
“Stop!”
“How do I pay the procedures”
“Enough!”<
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