Hey guys. So I will be busy with exams for a while and updates might be inconsistent. So please bear with me!
 

Hoseok is staring at the wall in front of him more specifically the brown clock the hands moving slowly. Hoseok twirls the spoon around in his now cold instant ramen but he isn’t even hungry. He is just numb and very aware of the fact that Yoongi is staring at him with the same expression what Hoseok thinks looks like a mixture of pity, disappointment and a touch of rage. He has been giving Hoseok the same expression since the past 35 days. Yes, 35 days have passed since it all happened but to Hoseok it seems like an eternity, a very long and painful one in which Hoseok spent most of his time locked up in his room curled up and crying and when the tears would be dry he would just stare into the dark nothingness thinking about how everything got shattered so quickly.

Hoseok decides he has stared enough at the clock as he stands up to dump his bowl in the sink and go back to his room and doing nothing.

“Yah, Hoseok,” he hears Yoongi’s voice.

Hoseok sighs internally. He despises nothing more than the repeated efforts Yoongi takes to get Hoseok out of his manic state and get him involved and excited. Hoseok knows it’s because Yoongi is worried and rightfully so but Hoseok has no energy to engage into a mindless conversation about what happened at University which he started attending again only this week or how his job search is going the one which Hoseok hasn’t even started yet or how Hoseok’s parents are doing because well he hasn’t even bothered to return their calls.

Hoseok dumps the bowl into the sink the clattering sound interrupting the silence.

“Why didn’t you finish it?” Yoongi asks.

“Not hungry,” Hoseok simply answers which is true because he doesn’t feel hungry anymore understandably so cause he doesn’t even feel like he is human. He is devoid of all emotions and living almost like a zombie.

“We can get pizza,” Yoongi suggests in an uncharacteristically cheerful voice.

“I told you I’m not hungry,” Hoseok answers. This is the most he has spoken at once in a long time. His voice sounds dead.

Hoseok walks to his room.

“Hoseok wait,”

Hoseok stops in his tracks before turning around.

Yoongi gives him half a smile.

“I am going to Jimin and Jungkook’s new apartment tonight and they wanted you to come along,”

“Huh,”

“Their new apartment they got…,”

Hoseok doesn’t even know about it.

“I told you last week,” Yoongi trails off.

“Oh…oh I must have forgotten,”

“So…are you coming?” Yoongi asks he looks too hopeful and Hoseok feels a bit bad when he shakes his head no.

“I…I don’t feel good,” Hoseok answers in a monotone just like every time he has in the past few days when Yoongi attempts to engage him into some kind of conversation or some outing and Yoongi lets go each time so Hoseok can retreat back to his room and be in peace.

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok adds for good measure. He really is. He misses his friends and hates how he has been treating Yoongi like a piece of not even doing basic chores around the house. Yoongi has been more than patient with him.

Hoseok starts walking again.

“Hoseok-ah,”

Hoseok audibly sighs. Yoongi is being too persistent today. He hates this. He wants to be alone.

“When are you gonna stop doing this?” Yoongi asks.

“Doing what?” Hoseok asks tiredly.

“This, your moping around all day,” Yoongi yells.

“I’m…just leave me alone,”

“For how ing long Hoseok?” Yoongi asks.

Hoseok stays silent.

“I hate seeing you like this Hoseok,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok doesn’t respond again.

“You know Taehyung isn’t coming back right,” Yoongi says in a much softer voice.

It hits Hoseok harder than he expected because he hasn’t heard Taehyung’s name out loud in a long time and especially not him being reminded that Taehyung is really gone from his life.

Tears leak from Hoseok’s eyes which he wipes hastily because he doesn’t want Yoongi to see.

“It’s time you moved on Hoseok,”

Hoseok didn’t think he would get angry at Yoongi but he is and he doesn’t even know why.

“It’s not that easy Yoongi to just ing move on,” Hoseok says and now he doesn’t care that Yoongi can see him crying. “But I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand what we had”

Hoseok continues.

“And you don’t have to but just leave me alone,”

“I cannot give you any specific date when I am finally back to normal Hoseok but for now just let me be please,”

Hoseok walks off to his room not bothering to let Yoongi respond. He locks the room throwing himself on the bed and proceeds to cry himself to sleep.

Hoseok sees a dream a very vivid one