Jinyoung groaned a bit before his eyes fluttered open, he rubbed his eyes and snuggled into the warmth next to him. He looked up and remembered he and Mark had taken a nap, he looked at the table beside his bed. The clock had said 5 pm, he and Mark had been asleep for a little over two hours. There was dulling pain in Jinyoung’s head, from where he had his stitches, and slight headache. Jinyoung moaned a bit at the dull pain, he knew he should get up and move around lightly to test out how limited his movements would be during his resting period. But Mark looked really cozy and he didn’t have the heart to wake the older, just yet. Jinyoung unconsciously smiled at the sight of a sleeping Mark. After smiling Mark, sleeping Mark had to be Jinyoung’s other favorite side of the boy. When the elder slept he looked content and at peace, it was an endearing sight to Jinyoung. Mark’s face was relax, it held no worries or coldness, compared to how he looks normally. It was comforting to know that the demons Mark held inside, haven’t gotten to that part of  Mark’s mind. Jinyoung knew first hand, how bad your own mind can mess you up, when he was at his lowest point his mind would invade his sleep. Nowhere was safe for Jinyoung during that time, it was a hard thing to not have any means of comfort. It is especially hard when the biggest negative effecting factor in your life is yourself.

    Jinyoung looked at Mark’s face, ingraining the image of his peaceful face into his mind. Before Jinyoung even noticed it, his hand was moving on it’s own to gently caress Mark’s face. “I don’t want you to ever get to the point I got to. I won’t allow it, your too precious to me. Just wait for me a little bit longer. I am still not able to love you with every fiber in my body yet. But, i’m trying for you. I’ve never been good at doing anything for me. I can’t worry about me yet, I still have Bambam to think of. I’m sorry Mark hyung, just wait for me and I’ll try for you. You give me a different happiness i’ve never felt before. A happiness, I never knew I was missing. A happiness, I never knew that i’d crave for so intensely. I wish I could tell you I need you and I can’t let you go to anyone else. But, I know you’d overthink everything. You’d either push me anyway to avoid hurting me or you. Or you’d be over critical over every little thing you’d do and be scared to mess up. You already get so insecure when I interact with any other person, it’s cute on you though. But totally unnecessary, seeing as your the only person that I can see. The only person who can make me uncomfortable, scared, and easily irritated all at once. Only to make me at ease, comfortable, and happy, literally one second later. You can just look at me and turn my mind into a mess, you can touch me and make me forget everything, and you just being near me makes me hyper aware of your presence. If you only knew all this, you’d realize how incredibly stupid it is to think I could ever think of any other person that isn’t you. Bambam was right i’m lovesick, no matter what I do you are always there in my head. It’s honestly scary at this point, how I can’t go more than a couple mins without think of you. You really are detrimental to my focus, but yet you still think there’s a possibility I could forget you. Do you know how hard it is for me to be with you like this and not imagine how insanely good we’d be together? How hard it is for me knowing this is all we can be for now? That very thought kills me, when my body just naturally pulls to you on its own. When all I want to do is kiss you deeply, even though just your little touches set my body on fire. When all I think is about loving you in every way and form possible, just so you know that you are the single most amazing person in the world. It’s kills me that you don’t understand that, when you cry it breaks me apart each time. I don’t want you to keep hurting all alone, if only you knew that you are beautiful because of the person inside. You not just a pretty face, you’re a beautiful soul, a person who should be cherished and who should cherish themselves. Even it takes me a lifetime and another, i’ll make you see what I see. You are an infuriating idiot, who I can’t seem to stop loving more and more each day.”  

Jinyoung let out a sigh, he didn't realize he was rubbing soft circles on Mark's cheek, as he was deep in thought. Mark was obviously enjoying it though because a soft smile made it’s way onto the boy’s face. Originally, Jinyoung thought Mark was reminiscent of a turtle but now he not to sure. The elder was more like puppy; easily excitable, ready to fight, needs a lot of attention, loyal, and craves physical affection. Puppies need extra care and love, that basically sums up Mark in human form. Even though everyone calls Jinyoung cute, he thinks Mark is much cuter than himself. No one really gets to see that side and as much as Jinyoung wants to Mark to open up to other people, deep down he wants Mark to keep certain sides of himself just for Jinyoung. The fact that Mark only showed certain part of himself to Jinyoung alone made Jinyoung’s heart flutter. That's why he could never get mad at Mark’s jealousy, because he knows the other boy likes feeling special in his eyes. The same thing applied to him,  Jinyoung basked in the glory at the fact that he was special to Mark.Jinyoung got happy at the fact that Mark put him above everyone else. Jinyoung propped himself on one elbow and moved his other hand from Mark’s face to the elder’s head. He moved his hand through Mark’s hair and gently scratched the boy’s scalp, Mark moved into the touch and Jinyoung froze. He thought he woke up the other, but Mark was still asleep. Jinyoung let out a breath he didn’t realize he held in. Jinyoung continued running his hand through Mark’s hair again. Jinyoung was thoughtlessly going through the motions.

Until, his eyes wandered to Mark’s lips and he was mesmerized again. He really shouldn’t have kissed Mark earlier, he had been so close to the other’s lips. One centimeter to the left and he would’ve caught the boy’s lips. Jinyoung in a breath, he so badly wanted to put his curiosity to rest.However, he knows better than that. He could just promise himself it would be just one kiss. He could do it right now and Mark would never know,and he’d put his imagine to rest. Though that was just BS and he knew it, if he kissed Mark he’d never forget it and he will lose all of his resolve. If the kiss from earlier was any indication, Jinyoung wouldn’t be able to hold himself from capturing the older’s lips more than just once. It would be like opening pandora’s box, and if that story was any indication of how things would turn out.Then Jinyoung definitely needs to up his level self control.

“I love you hyung, so don't get so jealous.  It’s cute, but I don't like when you get hurt. I'm already yours, you never need to worry about that changing. Because even if I wanted to move on from you, I couldn’t be able to do it.” Jinyoung said to the sleeping boy, knowing he couldn’t hear him. Which was the reason he said it to begin with. Jinyoung finally decided he should get up and make some dinner, seeing as both him and Mark skipped Lunch. Jinyoung tried to move quietly away from the boy, he didn’t want to wake him. But as he moved Mark’s grip tightened around his waist, Jinyoung tried to pry the older boy’s hands off. However, he was just met with failure. “What the hell! Why his grip so tight?” Jinyoung deflated and just conformed back into Mark’s body, he decided to weigh his options. He could let Mark sleep some more before trying to escape again or just wake up the boy. Though Jinyoung was taking to long to decide, so his stomach decide for him. Jinyoung’s stomach started to grumble, “Well guess there’s my answer.” Jinyoung rubbed Mark’s back and softly called out for the boy. “Mark hyung~!”, Mark shifted a bit but didn’t awaken. Jinyoung started to pat his back and called a little louder, “Mark hyung~ wake up~!” Mark’s eyes squinted before fluttering open. Mark groaned and his grip loosen, Jinyoung took the opening and slip out of his grip successfully. Mark realized he lost his warmth and whined, “come back here!” he grumbled sleepily.  “Nope! My stomach is grumbling and I didn’t get Lunch. Coach lee already told me I need to eat more, so can’t skip dinner too.” Jinyoung said even though he was sure Mark was going to complain. But Mark only rubbed his eyes and got up, looking for his shirt. Jinyoung was surprised, seeing as he knew the other really liked his sleep. He decided not to question it before Mark decided to complain.. “Hmm fine, let’s go. He’s right your too skinny, you need to eat more.” Mark said agreeing with Junho’s statement. Jinyoung felt slightly wronged, “You are just as skinny as me, if not more. You shouldn’t be talking about me.” “I eat a lot Jinyoung. I just don’t gain weight easily. You on the other hand don’t eat as much as me.” “If I ate as much as you, i’d get sick hyung. I eat as a normal person should.” Mark snorted “Yeah whatever, let’s just go before you delude yourself any further Jinyoung.” Then Mark walked out on him, Jinyoung’s mouth dropped “How dare he, the nerve of him.”

Jinyoung walked out pouting. He went in the kitchen and started to take out a cutting board and knife. Mark spotting him asked, “What are you doing Jinyoung?” “Ummm getting the stuff I need to cook?” Jinyoung said looking at Mark like he was a weirdo. “I understand that part, I just don’t get why you think you are allowed to do that?” Jinyoung looked at him and scoffed “Because I am hungry and I don’t need anyone’s permission.” Jinyoung said narrowing his eyes at Mark, not understanding why the other was bothering him for no apparent reason. He cooked all the time. Mark sighed and went into the kitchen, he picked the other boy up and walked him over to the couch in the living room. “What the-- Mark hyung put me down! What do you think your doing?” “I should being asking you that. You are supposed to be resting, how is moving all about in the kitchen resting?” “I am suppose to be eating also, and how am I supposed to do that if you won’t let me cook. I am not wasting money to buy food when I can easily make it.” Mark felt a headache coming on, Jinyoung was way to stubborn for his own good. “Well, I guess then problem solved. I’ll buy food and you rest.” Mark said ending the conversation. “Excuse you, no! This is not done, I don’t need you wasting money on me. If you want to buy fine, but i’m will make my own food.” Mark groaned out in annoyance, “Do you think I liked seeing you in the infirmary hurt? I’m telling you are going to rest, I don’t care if you are your own person and you’ve been taking care of yourself all this time. I’m here now and I will not allow you to do any to hamper your own ability to get better or land yourself back in the infirmary. I swear Jinyoung, if you don’t shut up and stop being stubborn. I will tied you to your bed and leave you there till you finished your resting period.” Mark said furiously, not as bad as when he was attacking Luhan, but a close second to that. Jinyoung was definitely quiet after that, he wasn’t happy but he knew he wasn’t going to win Mark on this one. He huffed out and muttered fine, Mark pinched the bridge of his nose to calm down. Then went off muttering about how stubborn and infuriating Jinyoung was, before going to order some food. Mark didn’t even bother asking Jinyoung what he wanted, the elder was too peeved at him. “Hmph that overprotective .”Jinyoung bad talked under his breath, because he was annoyed but didn’t want to get yelled at again.

    The two were sitting in silence on the couch waiting for the food. Jinyoung didn’t want to talk Mark and Mark didn’t have the patience to entertain Jinyoung’s stubbornness. After while, Mark felt the bad mood form around Jinyoung. Mark sighed, “Your acting like a kid who gets upset when he doesn’t get his way. Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment because I scolded you.” Jinyoung ignored Mark’s statement, even though there was truth to it. Mark looked that the other with exasperation, “honestly, this is childish Jinyoung. You are suppose to be resting, i’m making you follow the doctor’s order for you to get better. You can’ be upset because you didn’t get your way, it is ridiculous.” Jinyoung didn’t care how ridiculous he was being, he still didn’t like that Mark just dismissed him without listening. Mark was getting annoyed by the second, he couldn’t stand it when Jinyoung ignored him. Mark growled, “That’s it!” he pushed the other boy down on the couch and sat on his abdomen. Jinyoung was caught off guard and quickly glared at the boy on top of him. “Get off of me!” Jinyoung complained, “No! You are getting on my nerves. You can push your way into my life and do as you please. But the second I do it to you, you get upset.” “I’ve been hurt and sick before Mark. I am not fragile, i’ve taken care of myself by myself and I did perfectly well until this point. What makes you think you get the right to tell me what I should be doing?” Jinyoung glared the boy on top of him.

Mark eyes turned dark, just like the ones he had when he was beating up Luhan. Jinyoung flinched slightly because Mark got annoyed with him usually, but not like this. “Shut the up! You weren’t one who had to watch your body fall and hit the ground. You didn’t see the blood running along the side of your face. You didn’t see your eyes roll back, before you fell and hit your head on the ground. You didn’t hear the thud and loud impact of your fall, as it echoed through the gym. If you could take care of yourself, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Just because you had to take care of yourself before. Doesn’t mean that your suppose to do it by yourself now. You didn’t have to go through the pain of wondering if you’d wake up or if you’d be alright. You didn’t beat yourself up because of you got hurt, i did! I was the one who felt sick to their stomach when the blood flowed down the side of your head. I was the one who kept replaying the sickening sounds of my fist hitting your head and of your head hitting the floor twice. I was the one who felt his entire world shatter, when you blackout and didn’t move. I was the one who hit you. I was the one who hurt you. I was the one he beat himself up agonizing, over the scenario of you not waking up. Don’t you dare say I have I don’t have a right to worry about you. You pushed your way into my life and made it so you fill up every aspect of it. You made it so I couldn’t think straight or act sensible, you made it so I couldn’t control my emotions. You made me feel all these emotions, so don’t act like I don’t have a right to care for you. You can’t decide to make me your priority, only to tell me I have no right to make you my priority. I won’t let anyone hurt you, and that includes yourself. You put everyone before yourself, you want me to love myself. Well then you should lead by example. You pushed yourself in my life, so don’t you dare think you get choose when you get to close yourself off. You said that you are mine, so I get to worry, I get to pry, and I get the right to be upset when you do things that could harm you. So don’t. You. ever. ing. Question. My right to care about you!” Mark started lowly and he gradually got more intense as he spoke.

    Jinyoung felt scared from the way the older looked at him, it was frightening. He looked like he was going to start breaking everything in the room, if Jinyoung dared to question him. Jinyoung gulped, as a chill went down his spine. “Mark hyung” Jinyoung whispered scared if he spoke any louder he might set the other off again. “What?” Mark hissed thinking, the other was going to question him again. Jinyoung looked Mark in the eyes, Jinyoung’s eyes were slightly tearful as he spoke, “you’re scaring me hyung!” Mark saw the fear and tears in Jinyoung’s eyes, and he immediately lost any trace of anger in his body. Mark held Jinyoung face and the other flinched at the contact. Mark’s face immediately soften and filled with guilt, “Oh Jinyoung. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Oh no, Please don’t cry. I am sorry I got so angry. I shouldn’t have gone so overboard---” But Mark was cut off by Jinyoung’s sobs., “I’m sorry hyung! I --i --di-d--didn’t *hiccup* mean *hiccup* to worry you* I --i didn’t think about how yo-- you’d feel. I’m sorry *hiccup* you have every right *hiccup* to be upset.” Jinyoung bawled. Mark thought the sound of Jinyoung’s head hitting the floor was the worst thing never. But he was proven wrong, the sight in front of him was worse. The boy couldn’t speak properly because he was crying out, agonizingly. The sobs made Mark’s heart drop, he quickly got off the younger, pulled him into hug and rubbed his back. Whispering in his ear, it’s okay, it will all be alright, to calm the younger down. After a couple of minutes the boy pulled out of Mark’s chest and sniffled a bit. “I’m sorry I messed up your shirt.” “Don’t worry about that. You can mess them all up if you want. Are you okay, now?” Jinyoung nodded and rested on Mark’s chest, “Can I stay like this? Or are you still mad at me?” Jinyoung asked innocently. Mark sighed “You can stay like this for however long need or want to. Just like you’re mine, i’m yours. You can cry and mess up all of my shirts, you can use me as your personal pillow. Anything thing you want, you don’t have to ask. This is a mutual thing Jinyoung, everything you do for me, is what i’ll for you. I was never mad at you, I was mad that you didn’t take care of yourself as well as you do other people. You mean to much too me, for me to ever be mad at you. I can never be mad at you, because that means you did something to make me hate you and I could never hate you! Okay, I get annoyed and pissed off, but never mad at you.”

Mark held him tight and rubbed his back soothingly. “Hyung?” “Yeah?” “Can you --umm, well I-- I don’t like seeing you like that, it’s scary and your eyes turn all dark. I don’t like your eyes like that, I can’t read you, when they’re like that. I don’t like not knowing what you are thinking. Can you not do that to me anymore? I mean..” Jinyoung sighed not finishing what he was saying, Mark held his face and rubbed his cheek gently. “Hey, hey. Don’t just let it go. If you have something to tell me, just tell me it. Don’t worry about anything else but telling me what it is.” Mark said softly. Jinyoung wasn’t the one who couldn’t say what he feels, that was Mark’s thing. Mark likes how the younger boy could just easily say what he feels without hesitation. He doesn’t like that all of sudden the younger couldn’t do it anymore. He hoped Jinyoung wasn’t scared to tell him anything anymore, because he like that Jinyoung could easily demand anything of him, without fear. Jinyoung is the only person he’d let speak him like that, it’s endearing when the younger does it. Jinyoung took a deep breath and a blush was starting to form on his face. Mark was getting more curiouser now, but did want to pressure the other to hurry up.

“I---you are special to me. I don’t treat you the same as I treat everyone else. You’re different, you have a special place in my life and no one can take that place. I--well-ughhhh why is this so hard. Okay, I thought that I was special to you too, I thought that I was different, that you treat me different too. But when you looked at me just now, it was with the same look you had when you were attacking Luhan. I don’t like that you can look at me that way, I don’t like that it is easy for you to look at me the same way you do with other people. It’s hard for me to treat you the same as other people, even when I try, it’s still not the same as I do for everyone else. I want you to stop that, I mean I know it’s wrong to demand that of you. But i’m going to do it any. If you can’t do that then you should stop doing all the things you do, that makes me feel like i’m special to you. Don’t make me feel special, if I am not to you. You will still be special to me even if you don’t feel the same, but I don’t want you to lie to me. If you make me think that i’m special to you or different than everyone else, when in reality I am not. Then I---it--I, it will hurt me when you do things like this, the prove that I am just the same as everyone else. I rather know I am not special, then be lied to.  Make it clear now, don’t even leave 1% of vagueness. I don’t want to misinterpret the place I hold in your life.” Jinyoung said with an unsteady voice, Mark stared at the other with an unreadable expression. Jinyoung was worried now, he always thought Mark treated him different because the elder was falling in love with him. But now it’s different, Jinyoung knows the other cares for him. There’s no doubt in Jinyoung’s mind that Mark cares for him a lot, and in a different way from anyone else. However, that doesn’t mean it was in the way Jinyoung originally thought. It will no doubt hurt Jinyoung a lot, if he was wrong about how Mark felt about him. Because there was no doubt in Jinyoung’s mind of how he felt about Mark. He loves Mark, to the point it is scary for Jinyoung. Because Mark can hurt him easily and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. But, he’d rather go through that pain now. Than to kept falling in love with the other more and more, only to realize he was the only one thinking this way. He needs to know what place he hold in Mark’s like, not like it will make any difference with his own feelings but at least he’d know Mark’s own.

Mark still had a vague expression and Jinyoung didn’t even try to figure out what was going on in the other’s mind. “I’m sorry, if I made you think you were something to me that you aren’t.” Mark said in guilty voice and Jinyoung felt his throat close up and his heart dropped. Jinyoung nodded and removed his head from Mark’s chest and got up with his legs shaking. “Oh okay. I shouldn’t do things like this any more then, I don’t want to misunderstand again.” Jinyoung said his voice was lacking any emotions and he eyes were dull. “No! Wait i’m not done. You said I should tell you clearly.” Mark said desperately because Jinyoung didn’t understand, yet. Jinyoung nodded and stood in front of the boy. Mark got up to face him. “I’m not good with feelings and i’m sorry about. I didn’t know what I was feeling these past couple of days, I figured you’d know what I was feeling and you’d understand me. I forgot though that you are still human and there are certain things that I can’t leave for you to understand on your own. You have your own insecurities that  hold you back from seeing everything clearly. I know that you are the first person to believe in me unconditionally, to the point I had to believe in myself to. The fact that you made it seem possible I could change, is the reason I started to want to change. I didn’t realize that all these emotions I’ve been feeling is because you started to making me love myself. I kept getting angry, jealous, and kept acting like a child because you made me want to keep you for myself. I never felt those things because I didn’t think I deserve to feel that way. But unconsciously I started believing that I am entitled to all the things you did for me. I didn’t realize that I started to think I was deserving of those things. However, you were right about my mood getting more volatile because they were. But, they only got that way around you or because of you. I thought it was because you were the one who understood me so I got comfortable, but that's not just it. You don’t want me to clear up if you are special to me, because that obvious. You just said it like so I wouldn’t understand the real question. You’re really asking if I love you or not, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung was speechless he didn’t think Mark would’ve gotten his underlying meaning. Mark realized from the way Jinyoung’s eyes changed slightly that he was right. “What I don’t get is why your asking this now. You should’ve realized that I loved you before I did? So why are you asking me this? Now that realize I love you, I think back and I wasn’t subtle about showing it.” Mark looked at Jinyoung waiting for the other to answer him, because Jinyoung isn’t dumb. He had to know Mark loved him. “I guessed that you’ve been falling in love with me awhile back, but just now. Your gaze changed and I couldn’t read you, so I started to think I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did. But I guess you’re right, my insecurities are making it hard for me to see everything. I don’t care for myself like I do everyone else. So It didn’t make sense to me that you could be angry at me for not caring about myself. I couldn’t read you expression earlier because I didn’t realize it. But I get it now, your look was different from the one you gave Luhan. You were just furious, and in a blind rage when looking at Luhan. But with me you were furious, but there wasn’t rage. The other thing was frustration, wasn’t?” Mark sighed, “Of course it was frustration! You are the best at frustrating me because you are stubborn and you don’t take care of yourself. Any sane person would be frustrated, but it’s worse for me. You really don’t understand that you make me into a mentally unstable person.” Mark said in annoyance but at himself because he didn’t realize that he loved Jinyoung earlier and that he made Jinyoung think he wasn’t special to him. “Sorry, I’m not trying to do it on purpose.” Jinyoung say feeling guilty he made the other so psychotic. “I know. I know. It just a natural thing.” Mark sighed, “Okay, i’ve been clear. I am madly and stupidly, in love with you! God, I can’t believe how whipped I am for you. Seriously, those stupid puppy eyes and those ing, mind-wrecking pouty lips; make me a stuttering and completely utter mess. If you asked me to throw away every ounce of pride I have, it would only take me a second to comply. So there I’ve made myself clear about your place in my life. You already own ¾ of my entire life, and i’m sure you’ll find away to take the other ¼ I have left.” Jinyoung felt that feeling of his throat blocking up again, but this time his heart was swelling up and beating too fast to be healthy. He didn’t know what to say because Mark, as tactless as it was, confessed to him, and all he could do was to replay those word over and over. He felt like he was flying because he was so light head after all that.

“It’s your turn.” Mark said anxious and Jinyoung was just confused because honestly he didn’t know why Mark was trying to talk to him. When all Jinyoung just wanted ws to keep replaying Mark’s confession over and over, to kept reliving this feeling. “Hmm” Jinyoung said dazed, “I made it clear, you know where your place is, in my life. Now, it is turn because you said all these things about me being special and different. But you know I’m a idiot and you are going to need tell what you mean in away I can understand.” Mark said impatient because he just embarrassed himself, but he’s still not sure what he means to Jinyoung. Jinyoung words earlier made his heart burn intensely and made him swoon, but Mark didn’t know if that meant Jinyoung loved him, like the “I am in love” kind. Because Jinyoung was more confusing for Mark to understand, than Mark is for Jinyoung. “I’ve spent a good 20 mins staring at you before you woke up because you make it hard for me to restrain myself. I was beating myself up for kissing you earlier because all I could think about afterwards, was how amazing it would feel to kiss your lips. Because just that small peck made me it hard for me to breathe, it set me on fire. You’re stupid hyung, because you get unnecessarily jealous over everyone but it's’ all for no reason. All I can see is you and all I can think about is you. In everything I do, I have to think about you first, and it’s been happening since i’ve met you. I was in the infirmary and I could think about was, how I need to leave and make sure you weren’t being stupid and beating yourself up. It physically pains me to see you hurting and beating yourself up. Honestly, I wish I just could go back in time and meet you. When you were little so you didn’t have to get so hurt, or at least hurt all by yourself. You make me feel important and special, i’ve never really felt like that since my parents died. Thank you for making me feel cared for and loved hyung.” Mark didn’t know what to do, he wanted to cry out of happiness and wanted to run and celebrate because Jinyoung loves him. Mark has never felt so elated in his life, he want to hug Jinyoung and never let him go. Right now, feel like the highlight of his life.  Well, after meeting Jinyoung that its.

Mark hugged Jinyoung so tight, “God! You may make me act crazy, but i’ve never been so happy or relieved in my life.” Mark said into the other’s neck, Jinyoung smiled “I always want you to be happy,” “Then stay with forever because that’s all it will take.” Jinyoung felt his heart start to speed up again, “You really are cheesy hyung, but yeah. I will.” Mark just smiled into Jinyoung neck, they stayed like that for a long time. They didn’t really have intentions of moving either, but the was a knock, followed by some saying delivery at their door. Mark unattached himself from Jinyoung, got the food and paid. And lucky delivery guy got a 15 dollar tip, because Mark wasn’t going to waste another second away from Jinyoung just for delivery guy to find his change. Mark put the food on the table, “we should eat.” Jinyoung went to get plates and stuff, but Mark just pushed him into a chair and did everything himself. He served Jinyoung first and waited till the boy took a bite before eating. They ate in silence before Mark stopped eating, “what’s the matter hyung?” Jinyoung asked confused at the other’s behavior. “What does all this make us now?” Jinyoung was a little taken back. “Um well what do you want us to be?” “um well I was hoping it meant we are in a relationship now.” Mark said shyly and it was the cutest thing ever, but Jinyoung sighed “I’d like that to..” and Mark looked up eyes gleaming “but i don’t think we should rush into a relationship, so quickly. I think we should wait some more.” Jinyoung said and Mark had crestfallen look, “oh okay, yeah we can do that.” Mark said quietly and went back to eating his food, Jinyoung felt bad after seeing his hyung’s face but it was the best thing for them right now.

Mark cleared the table and cleaned the dishes, refusing to let Jinyoung do any work. Mark and Jinyoung went back to Jinyoung’s room. Jinyoung laid down on the bed and read. While, Mark some homework, but Jinyoung could see the other was still sulking. Jinyoung put down his book, “Hyung come here a second.” Mark got up and sat on the bed. “What do you need?” “for you to stop sulking, I thought you agreed to wait.” Mark sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “I know, but I don’t get it. We both love each other, why wait.” “Because I still haven’t gotten over my insecurities and I have to Bambam to think about also. If we got in a relationship now I couldn’t give you all the love you deserve and I won’t allow myself to get in a relationship with you and not give you all the love you deserve. I need sometime to fix all my issues and then i’d be able to love you the way you deserve.” “But it’s okay, I understand and I can wait for that time. If we are together I can help you.” “That’s the other reason. You’d be all amazing to me and forget your own issues. You still have unresolved issues that will only be resolved after confronting your parents, you’d be unable to love me the way I deserve either. We shouldn’t start a relationship when we aren’t ready and able to give it our all.”  Mark sighed because the other was right, “Yeah you right,Ii guess it’s just hard to forget your confession and act like nothing happened.” “I didn’t say we had to do that, it’s not like nothing changed. Sure we aren’t together yet, but we don’t have to act like nothing happened when it’s just us. I mean there’s no way I can unhear what you said , or forget what it did to me.” “so what does that mean?” “well it means, this” Mark was about ask what.. But Jinyoung had already crawl on his lap and wrapped arms around neck his. Then Jinyoung leaned in and softly kissed Mark’s lips and they were better than Jinyoung imagine, it was electrifying, and it made Jinyoung Warm. While, Mark was stunned for a whole minute because Jinyoung’s lips were on his and it felt amazing. Mark finally, after another 30 seconds, began kissing back and he was seeing stars. His heart was beating like crazy and the usually butterflies turned into a flock of birds, the intensity was so much more than anything else he has ever felt. If he knew Jinyoung’s lips were this good, he would’ve done this sooner. He put a hand on Jinyoung waist and the other on the younger’s back. While one of Jinyoung's hands found its way into Mark’s hair and he kissed the older deeper. The kiss was heated and Jinyoung pulled away when Mark’s hand found it’s way under his shirt. The were both staring at each other, trying to catch their breaths. “It means that when it’s just us, this is okay.” Jinyoung breathlessly, while Mark just nodded “okay” and pulled Jinyoung back for another kiss, it was soft and sweet, and lasted less time than the first. Mark pulled back and rested his head on Jinyoung’s, “I can live with us being like this for now. It definitely gives me a lot more motivation to confront my parents.” Mark said and Jinyoung smiled and pulled him down on the bed to cuddle.