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Dear Lord,

I stopped speaking to Junmyeon - I don’t think he’s noticed, though. He’s always been in his own world. He preaches the usual, but these days my immunity is at its all time low. The moment I see him open his mouth, I just mentally withdraw.

I also stopped speaking to Joohyun, but unlike my religious brother, she seems to be well aware of it. She’s always been observant. Considering our past, it wouldn’t surprise me if she already knew the reason but if that’s the case, I despise her even more. But more importantly, I just really don’t want to look at either of them right now.

Yixing keeps trying to approach me, but I won’t give him the satisfaction.

On an unrelated, but equally important note, Chanyeol has eaten my entire stash of Cadbury’s cream eggs and he deserves hell for it. But don’t worry, I can take care of that myself.

In recent weeks, Joohyun Bae has really felt at a loss. The year before, when she was just the financial chair of the Union, everything seemed to go very smoothly. Taeyeon had it all under control, Joohyun used to think, yes – she had it all under control. She was well liked and she managed to reorganise the existing musical group into a decent choir. Her best friend Sungkyu would bake the most fragrant pastries and make it look like it was the easiest task in the world. Their third friend Tiffany would constantly get in trouble for partying too much, but every Sunday, she would be there in the first row, killing all her haters with true and honest kindness. Those three ran the Christian Union effortlessly and Joohyun was there by the side, observing. She was sure that once the three girls had graduated, she’d naturally take reigns over the flock of those sheep and continue saving their poor souls equally free of trouble.

Now she isn’t so sure anymore.

Seemingly, everything is going according to plan. Joohyun is a skilled and efficient person, but she just happens to lack talents in the fields that also matter for the job. She’s a good leader with a sober but merciful mind, but that’s not of any use when you have to sing, bake and knit for your congregation. As long as she lived, Joohyun has never once received a compliment on her handiwork of any kind, and she isn’t really surprised. She has never been interested in it, nor patient enough.

When Seungwan walks into the school gym first thing early morning, she quickly realises just what she has been missing this entire time. It was Joohyun Bae in spandex, being annoyingly y at an ungodly hour.

‘You’re late, Seungwan.’ The upperclassman merely observes, not taking her eye off the poor Lily Hernandez, uselessly trying to bend to the point of touching her own toes with the tips of her fingers. The impossible task, along with Joohyun’s unforgiving gaze, has the girl sweating bullets. ‘And you. How do you expect to practice with us if you cannot even warm up properly?’

Seungwan gapes, bewildered. She mindlessly leaves her water bottle and keys on the low bench standing against the wall and approaches the pair. Joohyun eyes her.

‘Please tell me that you embody at least some of the high school stereotypes.’ She sighs, looking at Seungwan’s sports bra and loose tracksuit trousers. The red head grins.

‘Yes, I’m the token homoual around here. Although then again, there is too many of us in Trent to make me any special.’ Joohyun scoffs, making that the only acknowledgement of the other’s words.

‘Please tell me that you are at least flexible. You’re clearly not gifted in the brain area, so there must be something else to you. Or are you also a couch potato on top of all your sins?’

‘I am officially offended. I can bend all right, it just depends on who’s asking.’ After a short moment, the double meaning of the statement downs on the Union president, who blushes and purses her lips in annoyance. Seungwan grins. ‘Don’t worry, I am plenty bend-y. I can take it. I’ve practiced yoga before-’

‘Take a mat, then, and warm up a bit.’ Joohyun interrupts her at once, dreading the direction that the story can take. Seungwan is not by any means discouraged and continues blubbering.

‘- but I stopped, because I figured that it’s not very feminist of me to try and reach some idealistic size standards that the male population has created for women that don’t know any better and live under the tight patriarchal rule. So instead, I’ve vowed to consume daily as much fat as I possibly can.’

‘How amazingly progressive of you, Seungwan. Not to mention, eco friendly.’ Joohyun cannot help but reply in a snarky manner. Thanks to Seungwan Son, she has become almost too familiar with the notion – and the aftermath – of sarcasm.

‘I try.’ Seungwan grins harder.

‘I guess it’s never occurred to you that women might want to look good just for themselves. I suppose your definition of feminism extends only to oppressed housewives and obese women munching on fish and chips.’

‘Well…’ The red head scratches her head, lost for words. She doesn’t know what to say to that.

‘I’m the closest to a feminist that you will find in this church, believe me, so no point educating me. No, do what you’re told for once and get to work.’ Joohyun replies and moves on to the other row, still monitoring the flexibility of the other girls.

Seungwan does just that, but not without another look or two at the legs enveloped in those tight spandex leggings. In fact, she’s soon craning her neck left and right, her gaze following her instructor for the day.

‘Could you please stop ogling me and concentrate?’ Joohyun approaches her and hisses straight to the red head’s ear. ‘Close your eyes and breath. Stop looking at me. You’re supposed to let your mind wander.’

‘Well, that’s where it went.’ The younger cannot help but let out a cheeky laugh. Joohyun sighs, exasperated.

‘What am I going to do with you?’ She shakes her head.

‘I have a few ideas…’ Seungwan supplies helpfully.

‘Actually, I do too.’ Joohyun decides after a moment of a staring contest, and leaves the singer’s side.

The morning ends with Seungwan Son mopping the floor of the gym with a sour expression on her face.

‘You’re late.’ Chanyeol is the first one to point it out when Seungwan arrives at their make shift practice room in Tao’s garage, out of breath and hair dishevelled. She smiles sheepishly, but for the first time in the history of their friendship, the tall drummer doesn’t reciprocate, opting for a long, bemused stare instead.

She frowns and looks around to see similar, reluctant looks on the other members’ faces.

‘Sorry, guys. You know that I had that yoga thing and then Joohyun made me clean the entire gym by myself-‘

‘Yesterday, you didn’t come at all.’ Chanyeol interrupts her, his voice quiet but eerily serious. He continues looking at her in what feels like near bewilderment.

‘Sehun asked me to accompany him to that Bible spreading thing, you know that.’ Seungwan replies defensively. She looks to her other friend. ‘We were both there, what’s the problem?’ Sehun avoids her gaze, though.

‘The problem is that you’re beginning to enjoy it too much, while Sehun doesn’t have a choice.’ Chanyeol says again, his expression becoming grimmer by the second.

‘What does that even mean? You knew from the beginning that I like Joohyun.’ Seungwan involuntarily scowls, still not understanding the point.

‘You’re not allowed to like her for real, Seungwan! Bloody hell, it’s a joke. You teasing the uptight is supposed to be just a joke. You’re supposed to be on our side, ok?’

‘Our side? What is our side?’

‘The side that doesn’t associate with people who make my cousin’s life a living hell.’ Minseok replies instead. He’s never looked at Seungwan the way that he is now. His eyes are nothing but cold as he narrows them, clearly annoyed. ‘We’ve all heard about what happened at Kyungsoo’s house yesterday. You’re really walking a fine line here.’

‘For the last time, I did not know that Jongin would be there. And I also wasn’t aware that we are in some bloody high school cliché where I can’t have friends outside of my clique.’

‘Friends?’ Chanyeol’s voice suddenly raises an octave. He swallows thickly, the artery on his neck moving rapidly. ‘They are no friends of yours. We are your friends. I am your friend – or at least I was until recently. It’s been a week since you started hanging out around those freaks and you’re blown me off like three times, did you know that?! Even today you’re late. And why? Because you’d rather spend time staring at that ’s arse!’ Chanyeol looks like he wants to say more, but at the same time, like he’s too overwhelmed to add anything else. He looks at the ceiling, massaging his neck with his palms, his expression still one of utter disbelief.

‘Don’t call her a !’ Seungwan retaliates, now irritated. She fists her hands in frustrations. She has expected to spend a nice afternoon with her friends, jamming to Paramore and practice their own songs, but that is long forgotten now. ‘You’re a ing royal prick, Chanyeol Park, how’s that for an answer?! You think you’re so much better than them but look at you, insulting people left and right. It’s Sehun’s sister you’re bloody running your mouth about.’

Chanyeol inhales like he wants to start another screaming match with his best friend, but promptly refrains.

‘Sorry, mate.’ He mutters, still red on the face from all the anger. Sehun doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just shakes his head and picking up his backpack from the floor, he makes his way to the door, his bass still in his hand. He has had enough. ‘No, wait! Wait, Sehun, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Or maybe I did.’ The drummer manages to get a hold of his bassist friend just in time. ‘But you know why I’m so mad. You should know best how your sister is.’

‘Or maybe you two twats could stop being so blinkered for five darn seconds and consider how your idiotic arguments affect Sehun.’ Tao speaks up for the first time. Everyone looks to him. ‘Stop being so egoistic. He’s friends with us, but that’s his family you guys are constantly ranting about. And no matter what they’ve done, I’m sure he can’t just emotionally detach himself from them. It’s not so easy.’ He reasons, but it calms no one.

Minseok turns off the keyboard with an unnecessarily forceful movement. He’s far from pleased.

‘What about me, then? I have no moral obligation to consider the feelings of those that don’t consider mine. I’m sorry that Sehun is feeling uncomfortable,’ His voice is clearly mocking now. ‘But if I have to hear my cousin cry one more time, I’ll slap the living hell out of that , even if it’s the last thing that I do. I don’t hold Sehun responsible for the wrongdoings of his siblings, but it’s hardly fair to ask me to tiptoe around him about it, either.’ He picks up his messenger bag from the chair nearby. ‘I’m done in here. I need to get to work soon, anyway.’

‘Wait, Minseok…’ Tao, the only peace maker among them, fails to appease yet another person. The door shuts in his face. That’s when the bassist gently extracts his own arm from his friend’s grip.

‘It’s alright, Tao. I think we all need a breather. I’ll get going, I have a lot of homework to do. I haven’t even started on my Spanish assignment yet.’ He adds quietly and leaves the garage in a much calmer fashion.

‘Guys, but the performance is in two weeks…’ Tao says to no one in particular, sighing miserable.

‘We’re in no mood for a rehearsal now.’ Chanyeol states the obvious and proceeds to disentangle the wires around his drum set. He doesn’t want to leave his baby in a disarray, no matter how frustrated he is at the moment.

‘Chanyeol, please. Are you so ready to cut me out without as much as a chance to defend myself?’ Seungwan stops within the tall boy’s earshot. She’s equally mad but trying to be the better person in it. He takes a deep breath before facing her.

‘I just don’t recognise you, Seungwan. When we first met, we clicked so perfectly - and so fast. You felt like a bloody missing part of me. Like a twin from another mother. Just a few days ago we were laughing at them.’ He points in the vague direction of the door, but the red head singer knows that he means the Union. ‘I was laughing. I was laughing, because I could have never imagined how serious you are about getting into that religious stuff and about Joohyun Bae.’ The girl wants to interject, but she ultimately decides to let her friend finish. ‘In the past few days you felt like a stranger – you suddenly don’t have time for me or the band. And of all people, you associate with those that have screwed over pretty much every one of my friends? Of your friends? You may feel like an extension of my own body right now, but if you’re really adamant about continuing whatever it is that you’re doing with those pricks, then I bloody swear on my drum set, you’ll be dead to me. I’ve known the guys for more than ten years. I’ll always choose them over anyone else. I just never thought that I’d have to choose them over you.’

He’s panting hard, pressed for air. His palms tightly fisted, he’s clearly struggling to remain composed.

‘I’mma get going. I’ll see you later, Tao.’

‘Wait, don’t I get to say anything?!’ The sudden exit takes Seungwan by surprise.

‘Not now. I need to walk this off. Meet me behind the gym at 7, I’ll listen then.’

‘Hey, Park.’ She calls out just before his silhouette disappears. He stills, half heartedly looking over his shoulder. ‘Hate me all you want, but at least make it right with Sehun. He doesn’t deserve your rubbish attitude.’

‘…I know.’ He grumbles and walks out through the crack of the back door.

‘ing hunky-dory, innit?’ Seungwan turns to Tao, the last man standing. He shrugs.

‘You had it coming, Wan.’

‘It’s not that simple.’ She sighs. ‘I really had nothing to do with what happened yesterday. I’d have never guessed Kyungsoo Do lived there.’

‘You know it’s not about that. I don’t mean to add oil to this fire, but Chanyeol is right. You’ve cancelled on us before and today you were late. Sehun’s a different situation – his well-being literally depends on his presence around those nuts. If that snitch Junmyeon as much as whispers a word to their father about Sehun not attending the church, that man will pull him out of school and start beating him again.’

Seungwan doesn’t like the uneasy feeling washing over her. Of course she doesn’t want that to happen. She’d sworn before that she’d personally break the pastor’s fingers one by one if he as much as touched the boy again. And she knows Joohyun’s role in Sehun’s torture.

‘Chanyeol is protective of all his friends, but especially of Sehun. I’ve always though that he blames himself for not having noticed what was happening when it did. He couldn’t have, though.’

‘I know. I’m an idiot. I don’t want to make it worse for Sehun. But I want to be able to spend time with Joohyun. Unlike you lot, I don’t think she’s as rotten as Chanyeol claims.’ Tao shrugs again.

‘She’s done nothing to persuade me otherwise, to be honest. I don’t care if you’re arse over for her, but if you’re planning on blowing everything off over her, I’d like to know in advance. We’ll need to find another vocalist.’

‘Here you are.’ Junmyeon startles at the hand on his shoulder. ‘I’ve been looking left, right and centre for you since lunch.’ Joohyun adds, squeezing her phone and keys in her right palm. Apart from official outings related to spreading the Word, she avoids carrying bags like fire. It’s become Seulgi’s unspoken duty to provide her with anything she might need during the day.

‘I’m trying to decide if we can squeeze a few more tables in this gym. The weather forecast for next Sunday doesn’t sound so promising after all.’ Her twin purses his lips in annoyance. Joohyun frowns in response.

‘Aren’t we having a sunny day?’

‘Not anymore, apparently.’ He responds with a matching Lord is testing me severely today expression.

After giving the matter an appropriate moment of silence, Joohyun looks to the bleachers.

‘Leave this for a second and come talk to me.’

‘What about?’ Junmyeon enquires as soon as they let their legs rest.

Her brother has always been the somewhat clueless one between them. Joohyun has learnt how to deal with it over the years – after all, they do have an unbreakable bond connecting them. Without as much as a single look at the boy, she has always been able to tell what is bothering him. She knows him inside out; she knows how his mind works.

And because of that, she’s also capable of persuading him to do virtually anything. Junmyeon’s a highly one dimensional line of reasoning – he accepts what makes sense to him at the time and once he’s taken something as an absolute truth, there is nothing that could convince him otherwise.

‘Seulgi told me you’ve been avoiding her. I’d like to know why.’ At the mention of the incident, Junmyeon almost immediately starts fidgeting and avoids her gaze, but his sister will have none of that. ‘I’ll get it out of you one way or another, so I would thank you to just tell me. And don’t lie to me, our Lord sees everything. And I will also know if you take unusually long with your confession after the sermon.’

Junmyeon blushes. He doesn’t want to lie – no, he cannot. Not with the threat of God’s wrath hanging over him like that. But it’s all just so embarrassing.

‘I-I..’ He hesitates.

‘You what?’ The girl probes further.

‘I like Seulgi a lot. Too much.’ He finally whispers, nervously looking around. Joohyun frowns.

‘Too much? There’s no such thing as liking somebody too much.’

‘There is.’ Her twin insists, looking miserable. Joohyun tries again.

‘So you’ve decided to avoid your girlfriend because you like her too much? That doesn’t make any sense.’

‘Oh, it does. Believe me.’ The boy mutters, wringing his fingers together. She shakes her head.

‘No, it doesn’t. In fact, maybe the Lord have sent you this dilemma to confirm your feelings for Seulgi. You should be thankful.’

‘No, His teachings most definitely do not encourage such strong sentiments.’ The blush on Junmyeon’s cheeks intensifies as he continues defying his sister.

‘God says that love is the most important existence in our lives. You’re a man and she’s a woman. Your love is good and pure. He would never put you in this situation if he didn’t want you to do something about it. So make up with Seulgi already and express the love you have for her. You’ve upset her enough.’

Junmyeon’s conviction visibly wavers at Joohyun’s persuasive tone.

‘But how can I..?’ His inner struggle is quickly extinguished by his twin’s words.

‘You’re lucky to have her – so don’t lose her. What you feel in your heart is right, so just go with it. I’ll pray for you.’ He eventually nods, as if trying to convince himself. Joohyun can almost see the cogs in his brain turning rapidly, trying to adjust his problem to the new logic.

‘Can you start praying now?’ He asks and she easily agrees. They join hands and Junmyeon closes his eyes, listening to Joohyun’s whispered prayer intently. He feels much better now. He’s a good person – Lord would never test him like that. It’s not Satan’s calling, it’s God’s. Love belongs in Heaven.

It’s not lust, Junmyeon thinks, he would never be punished by such dirty desires. He would never, he’s His loyal servant. And Joohyun agrees.

Much calmer now, the vice president lets a small smile rest on his face for the first time in a while. It’s not lust. It’s just love. He always sits in the first row at every church gathering – there’s no way evil would touch him. No way.

After they’re done, Junmyeon officially abandons his location planning and they both direct themselves to the main building.

‘What’s this news that I heard from father this morning? He asked me to confirm whether you and Yixing are now a couple.’ Joohyun stops on her tracks.

‘What did you tell him..? She enquires, not even bothering to hide her anxiety. Junmyeon tilts his head, surprised at her reaction.

‘Nothing. I said I’d ask Yixing, who later told me that you indeed expressed such desire but he had to turn you down, because he is already in love with somebody else.’

‘He is?’ She frowns at the novelty, but quickly re-focuses on the matter at hand. ‘Did you tell all of that to father?’

‘Not really, we haven’t spoken since. Why? Should I not?’

‘Junmyeon, I need you to do something for me. I need you to ask Yixing to be my date for the picnic.’

‘Well, it seems that he doesn’t really want to, though.’ Junmyeon scratches his head unsurely. ‘Do you like him that much?’

Do I like him that- Junmyeon can really be naïve sometimes, Joohyun thinks, trying not to let her frustration show. She smiles sweetly at him.

‘Yes. Please, ask him as a favour. I need a chance to tell him how I feel. I really think that if we can spend some time together, in the presence of God, of course, he might take a liking to me. Please, ask him once, he won’t refuse you.’

‘All right. If that will make you happy.’ Junmyeon concurs and Joohyun breathes a sigh of relief.

‘Yes, that will make me really happy.’ She replies quickly. She feels bad for lying to her twin, and she knows that it’s something that God does not encourage, but there will be more damage done if she lets her brother know her true intentions.

Because Junmyeon’s a highly one dimensional line of reasoning – and once he’s taken something as an absolute truth, there is nothing that could convince him otherwise. He’d never approve of her motives, no matter how positive the outcome might be. He just wouldn’t understand.