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‘Stop fidgeting, you’re driving me insane,’ Chanyeol Park elbows Seungwan Son, sighing deeply.

‘Why are they not here yet?’ She frowns, checking her phone for the tenth time this minute alone.

They sit on the concrete bench just in front of the school, impatiently looking around the continuously cumulating crowd. Seungwan is playing with the flaps of her red graduation gown. Chanyeol’s long legs are visible from under his own – they could not find an adequate size for him and he is stuck with the biggest size they had, which is not as big as he would wish it to be.

Tao Huang soon joins them, also already dressed.

‘Still not here?’ Chanyeol makes some room for him in the already narrow space but he only shakes his head in thanks.

‘I made sure the lady from rentals put aside the right size for Sehun but they should really hurry up. It’s bloody amazing how much some of the lads in our year grew in the last year.’

More students with parents and multiple congratulatory bouquets in hand enter through the gate, rushing to find their own gowns and reserved seats.

‘Joohyun texted that they were almost here but that was five minutes ago,’ Seungwan grumbles.  She looks at the grey sky above them. It looks like it could start raining any moment now.

Yet another taxi stops right in front of them, trying to cheat the on-going traffic and private cars looking for parking spaces. Joohyun gets out of the passenger’s seat, having settled the bill. Sehun and Yixing are right behind her, dragging their backpacks with them. They are small but Seungwan already knew that they would be staying only one night at Tao’s place. Joohyun will be staying the night as well, to help her girlfriend pack the rest of her possessions and move them the next morning to London where Seungwan will live once again live in her mother’s Kensington flat, at least for the time being.

She has been accepted to Westminster, a carefully calculated shot at a degree in business.  

‘Finally!’ The younger girl exclaims, jumping straight into Joohyun’s arms. The older student laughs, nonetheless embracing her equally tightly. The kiss shared is merely a peck, but an affectionate one.

‘We saw each other just three weeks ago,’ she reminds the younger, to which Seungwan feigns offence.

‘Yeah, three long weeks ago.’

Seungwan smiles and nods at Yixing Zhang before her eyes slide to Sehun, surrounded by the other two boys. Their eyes meet and he gives her a tight-lipped smile but his gaze is bright. Hopeful, once again.

Sehun had another episode around March. Last academic year started off relatively well despite the lack of physical day to day presence of his sister and boyfriend, so integral in grounding and supporting him. But it was still alright – all his same-year friends were there, as close as ever. There were the long study sessions followed by yoghurt smoothies and there were band rehearsals to let off steam. Sometimes staying over at Tao’s, or even Jongin’s, just to get away for a while.

Then it began crumbling down around January when first university acceptance letters were released. Sehun was conditionally offered a place at King’s College. Suddenly, there were too many anxieties involving maintaining grades and uncertain future. Homework, mid-terms, constant nagging thoughts of not living up to everyone’s expectations; too much too fast. Everything lost colour and he started question himself, first in doubt and later in despair. His nightmares persisted for nearly six weeks before he finally told his counsellor and called Joohyun. The girl asked Chanyeol Park not to let Sehun out of his sight and immediately booked the fastest National Express back to Nottingham. She arrived the same evening.

The school agreed to let the boy finish his A Levels preparations being home schooled, there was not that much time left anyway. He has been staying with his sister ever since.

‘You’ve lost so much weight again,’ Seungwan murmurs into his ear, giving him a warm hug. ‘How are you feeling?’ They have seen each other only once since he left, when Seungwan went to visit Joohyun over the weekend in London in May, but she made sure to call him often enough.

(It’s not a failure, he said the first time they talked on the phone after he had moved to London. He then repeated, as if reassuring also himself. It’s not a failure. It’s just a new beginning and one can have many new beginnings. As many as they need to.)

‘I feel good,’ he admits in a soft voice and she knows it is the truth. He does not lie anymore; not about this. ‘More than good. I feel… ready, you know? To leave this behind. To not be reminded of any of this any longer. This is the last thing that ties me to my family and I just-’ He hesitates before nodding. ‘I just feel ready.’ They look at each other and share a smile.

‘I couldn’t agree more.’

(She wants to be there for him but without weighing him down even more. She does vividly remember her own episodes still, her own periods of anxiety and restlessness, thoughts of not belonging and mattering to anyone. But none of her friends know – only Joohyun – and Seungwan thinks that it is somehow better this way. Sehun needs normality now, not additionally worrying about her past demons. She does not know if it is the right choice, but it is her choice not to share.)

Chanyeol pushes himself in between them that moment, embracing each one with each of his arms. Tao Huang stops on Sehun’s other side.

‘Let’s get this show going, guys, what do you say? One last grand finale,’ he teases to which Tao looks at him, smirking.

‘You’re all talk, Park. I bet you five quid that you’ll start crying first once this is over. You’ve become a bloody cry baby over the past year.’ Chanyeol swings one of his long legs at him, angrily trying to deliver a hefty kick over Sehun’s limbs. The other two just chuckle.

Seungwan looks over her shoulder to lock gazes with Joohyun who smiles at her. They nod at each other. The four friends lead the way, with Joohyun and Yixing dutifully trailing after them. As they walk, the pair looks around discreetly but nothing has really changed here since they both left.

They have, though. They know it and they share a small smile when Yixing happens to voice it out as they try to find their assigned seats at the audience.

For Joohyun, Trent College already feels like a lifetime ago even though it has not even been a full year since she left. Only after moving to London on her own did she realise just how sheltered she had been her whole life. She has never been the most flexible of people and despite trying to stay positive, it was hard at first. The autumn semester was a delirium of difficult modules, new people, a few socials here and there but mostly – awful, awful flatmates in Brent. No matter how much she tried to adjust to their lifestyle, they never seemed to make it work; on the contrary. She had too many responsibilities with her course, part time job and younger brother to care much about nightly shenanigans and parties in their flat that robbed her of her already short hours of sleep. She was on the brink of exhaustion and at a loss as to where to go from there – quite literally so, because the prices of rentals were staggeringly high. Admittedly, she had stayed in touch with Yixing only every now and then but it was surprisingly Yixing who called her one day in late January, saying,

‘Look, my idiotic flatmate, that bloody , just bailed on me without paying the last part of his rent. The place’s quite far from your uni and the available room is the size of a broomstick cupboard but it’s yours if you want it. Three hundred-fifty per month because I have the bigger bedroom and we split the utilities but I need the answer by tonight. I’m desperate and I have other interested people lined up. Since Sehun mentioned that you’ve been struggling, I’m giving you the first choice.’

Two years before, Joohyun Bae would have been scandalised at the mere prospect of living with a boy. As it was now, she felt no remorse announcing to her current flatmates that they needed to find somebody else and moved the next morning after having packed all night – her room was a sublet anyway, so there were no legal consequences. She did not know Yixing Zhang nearly well enough to be able to predict the consequences of that decision (despite the years spent together at school) but she figured that as long as he was clean and took his socialising outside the flat, she would be fine. East Greenwich was a little out of her way but nothing she could not find a solution to.

It later became a true blessing in disguise when she needed to host her younger brother, something that would have been close to impossible in her old predicament. She had initially worried where to put him - her room really was terribly small, barely enough to contain a narrow bed, an old chest of drawers, a wardrobe in the corner and a three legged desk from Ikea – but Yixing only frowned, giving her a deadpan look.

‘With all due respect, Joohyun, Sehun is not staying in your room.’

She only blushed at the implication but did not bring up the topic again otherwise. It would have been hypocritical of her, considering their previous unofficial living arrangement at Trent. But once again, they made it work between the three of them. Once again, Yixing Zhang proved to be a good friend. He was there when they both had a hard time at Trent; this time, he was a friend that she truly had the opportunity to get to know better.

‘Are you nervous?’ Seungwan Son pokes Chanyeol Park, luckily being seated exactly behind him. They have all been placed according to the alphabetic order of their surnames so Sehun and Tao and Baekhyun, and the rest of their classmates have been scattered all over the hall.

‘Will you laugh if I say a little?’ Her best friend mumbles after a moment. The headmistress is still giving her welcoming speech but the main event will soon start.

‘Not really. I’m nervous, too,’ she admits, her robe as a calming exercise. Chanyeol turns to look at her.

‘I’ll miss you. It’s not gonna be the same with you in London, me in York…’ He trails away, looking at her seriously.

‘Maybe, but you won’t get rid of me so fast, Park. You don’t know the time or place I appear next,’ she teases and he lightens up.

‘It’s been a wild ride, hasn’t it,’ he smiles and she reciprocates.

‘Yeah, but I think I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ The boy’s grin widens and he chuckles as he turns back to watch the stage.

After that, it is just a long wait and catching glimpses of their friends receiving the graduation diplomas first but nonetheless feeling absolutely queasy inside until it is their turn. Sehun looks pale, unsteady as he shakes hands with the headmistress, like he cannot believe that he has actually reached that far. Baekhyun winks at the audience, a cheeky grin on his lips and Chanyeol bursts out laughing, more due to his own nerves to be perfectly honest. Tao is uncharacteristically serious until his older brother starts whistling at him and the parents around him start laughing, even the emotional mothers.

Chanyeol remains unmoved at first but the moment he is off the stage and his parents and sister hog him, crooning at him in pride, he has tears in his eyes - something that Tao Huang will not let him forget for many years to come.

Seungwan? She catches Joohyun’s eye as she walks towards the podium, the same podium that she saw her girlfriend on a year ago in her own red gown. Joohyun’s cheeks fill with a big proud smile and Seungwan nearly forgets where she is and what she is doing but then turns away. There is one more person there who she thinks she now considers important.

Seunghoon Son is seated in one of the last rows, trying to take a video of the girl as she walks ahead. He stands up to see her better and waves at her when she spots him. Seungwan gives him a shy smile, not used to this kind of attention. Her mother is in Singapore and did not make it to the ceremony. But her dad flew all the way from Korea to see her, and they are going to spend another summer together this year.

Well, not just the two of them but his new family too, his wife and Seungwan’s new born half-brother. And Joohyun. Joohyun will spend the next two weeks with them as well.

For Seungwan, this is still just the beginning but a promising one. She is finally letting herself trust the man and is slowly accepting him as somebody that she can turn to in need. Admittedly, it is a little too late to parent her but Seungwan is no longer afraid to admit that she had been waiting. She had been waiting all this time, holding her breath, hoping that she is not alone in the world after all. And she has grown enough to take that chance at closeness, for once deciding to blindly believe in its positive outcome.

After the ceremony they all gather at the back yard, trying to find a suitable place for a few commemorative photographs. Seungwan’s father makes small talk with the Parks as Tao’s brother attempts to find the best angle. In the background, Yoora Park nags at Sehun to eat more.

Seungwan is eventually seen on several pictures. One features the five members of Verbal Explosion, now officially disbanding but with smiles on their faces. Minseok came in time to catch Chanyeol and Seungwan on stage, rushing after his morning lectures. He is doing well. They have stayed together until now, rehearsing whenever they could find some free time just for the fun of it. With her arm around Minseok’s waist and being squeezed against Chanyeol’s side, caught laughing with open at something that Zhoumi said, Seungwan Son is happy.

In the next photo, it is just the three of them, just her, Chanyeol and Sehun. Pulling scowling Chanyeol’s ear in glee as Sehun laughs at them several feet away, Seungwan Son is happy.

Chanyeol soon reciprocates and pulls her in a headlock just because he can. Zhoumi quickly snaps a photo as Seungwan laughs despite the predicament.

There is one where she stands next to her father, a little awkwardly but nonetheless close. Her father asks Tao’s brother to send the photo to him. Believe it or not, Seungwan Son is happy.

Then there is the one with the Park family, there has to be one. Standing between Yoora and Mrs. Park, Chanyeol behind them and Mr. Park slightly on the side with a proud smile on his face, Seungwan Son is happy.

Seungwan and Joohyun take multiple photos together but the one that the younger girl likes the most is actually a selfie. The angle is a little askew, her hand shook because Joohyun surprised her with a kiss on the cheek and Seungwan accidentally closed her eyes. It nonetheless looks so blissful; Seungwan Son is happy.

Just before the final group photo, Seungwan spots Joy Park wandering around.

‘You looks nice,’ the younger compliments, genuine praise in her voice.

‘Are you a guest?’

‘Yerim and I came to see her older sister, you know, Yaewon?’ That is correct, Yaewon and Seungwan used to have calculus together. No more calculus, hallelujah. ‘But I thought I’d see if you’re still around.’

‘I’m glad you did. We’re just finishing up here, we’re having a big dinner at Tao’s house. I’m leaving Notts tomorrow.’ Joy hums in acknowledgement and Seungwan thinks that she looks almost sad.

‘Seungwan, come here. We’re ready. We just need to find somebody to take the photo.’ Chanyeol beckons for his friend to come closer. They are indeed all settled in two lines, all children and parents, friends and lovers.

‘I can do that,’ Joy offers generously, motioning at Zhoumi to hand her the phone which he does.

‘No, come and join us,’ Seungwan argues, making a little space in between herself and Mrs. Park.

‘Nah, this is not my story,’ Joy dismisses the invitation; Seungwan is not having it, though. She looks at her pointedly as she replies softly,

‘Yes, but it could be.’

They regard each other for a moment and then Joy finally smiles. She shoves the phone into the hands of an unsuspecting upperclassman passing by and runs to fit in between them. This time, they all look straight into the camera, their smiles perhaps a little calculated and wanting to look presentable but it is their best yet. There is pride and nervousness, and hope and faith on every single face, and even years later when Seungwan will look at the photo standing on one of the cupboards in her living room, she will know.

This is it. Seungwan Son is happy.

The graduates still have to return the robes before they move over. Predictably, it starts raining, the heavy clouds already hanging too long without any consequence. They all run towards the closest building as the rain intensifies, soaking them within seconds. They hear a thunder.

 Joohyun does not notice Seungwan’s absence by her side until she is inside and she turns around, disorientated.

‘Come here!’ Seungwan shouts through the rain, out of the blue from a few feet away. She motions at Joohyun to come back to the yard. Her girlfriend, who is standing just behind the threshold of the open door to the gym to avoid the heavy downpour, frowns in amused disbelief.

‘What?! Why?! Seungwan, you come here right now. You’ll get completely drenched!’ Joohyun screams at her, taken aback by the other girl’s actions.

‘Just come here!’ Seungwan pleads again, grinning widely.

Against better judgement, Joohyun reluctantly leaves the shelter, squealing all the way as she runs to join Seungwan.

‘What is it?!’ She raises her voice again, still not understanding the point. Raindrops are running down her face.

‘I love you, Joohyun Bae,’ Seungwan grins and Joohyun chuckles, shaking her head. ‘I love you.’

‘And I love you too, Seungwan Son, but you already know that,’ she laughs. ‘Now let’s get out of here before we get ill.’

‘Let’s make a promise, right here and now,’ the younger continues, not discouraged in the slightest. ‘From here on after, you and I will be as cliché as they come. We will have boring dates, hold hands and cuddle in bed. We will go out every weekend and do something terribly, terribly conventional and romantic, like they do in cheap Hollywood movies. Let’s start here. Let’s kiss in the rain.’

Joohyun laughs louder at that, eyes twinkling as she leans into the kiss that lasts for a long while. She is long used to Seungwan’s madness and she thinks it is beginning to rub on her, too. It is worth it.

That day, Seungwan changes her cell background to a photo of the two of them. Cheek to cheek, wet hair plastered all over their faces. Joohyun grins, her eyes closed. Seungwan grins even harder right into the camera as she tries not to drop her phone and take the photo. It looks awful but it is Seungwan’s most prized possession.

This is it.

Seungwan Son is happy.

Joohyun Bae does not know it yet, but religion will always remain an important part of her life. At the age of twenty-eight – after years of restlessness, then emptiness, then consideration – she will become a member of Methodist Church of Great Britain. In the next two, she will obtain the right to be ordained as a female pastor, thus partially fulfilling her childhood ambition. Continuing to work as an environmental legal advisor, she will stand in front a congregation only once though: to bless the union between one Chanyeol Park (still as happy-go-lucky as ever, and now a qualified sound engineer from the University of York) and Baekhyun Byun, a paediatrician in his last year of residency at a hospital in their hometown (who will be almost late to his own ceremony because his stag do will be no joke. Jongdae Kim will be the witness to that).

It will be only fit, seeing how conversations with Baekhyun will eventually persuade Joohyun to give his religion a try. He and Chanyeol will settle in York but will remain frequent guests in Joohyun and Seungwan’s London home. Chanyeol's boisterous voice will ring in Joohyun's ears long after the pair leaves.

Junmyeon and Seulgi will be there, standing at the back to see Joohyun. In the next years, their relationship will improve, significantly so after her active return to religion. Junmyeon will remain Joohyun’s only link to her family home - her parents will not speak to her again after her sixth form graduation where she will tell them about Seungwan. Although Seulgi will eventually open up to Joohyun and try to accept their differences, it will be too late to rebuild their once deep friendship and they will remain only casual acquaintances.

Their thirteen year old son will be another exemplary Christian, kept away from Junmyeon’s siblings. In their thirties, they will have two more children and they will be twins. The boy will be called Dohwan, afer Seulgi’s father; the girl will be called Joohyun.

Junmyeon and Sehun will never meet or speak again. That day will be the first time in over ten years and probably the last one they will ever see one another. Their eyes will meet above someone’s shoulder, more than twenty feet distance between them – ironically enough, Sehun now seated at the front and Junmyeon in the back row - but there will be no active acknowledgement from either. Sehun will grab Yixing Zhang’s hand and turn away.

Sehun and Yixing will never legalise their relationship, but it will ultimately stand the test of time. They will break up twice throughout their twenties, both times initiated by the younger during the harder times in his life, but they will eventually settle down on the coast of Wales. Yixing will use his economics degree to first work in a stock company in the City and then open a relatively successful trading business.

Sehun will go through two more breakdowns as a university student, but he will pick himself up bravely and he will heal. Graduating King’s Collage with a two year delay but a big smile on his face, he will make a promise to himself to never look back and he will not. He will eventually receive his master’s, and then a PhD degree in Literature, and will start teaching at Swansea University. He will be the shyest, but the sweetest lecturer.

He will also stay in touch with Tao Huang, who will use his Communications degree well – coupled with his natural charm and charisma, he will climb to top ranks of a well-known PR company in London. Tao will never marry and always will have too many girlfriends.

Sehun will also owe a lot to Seungwan Son, whose support will remain a constant in his life. Seungwan will drop out of her business degree at the University of Westminster in her second year and after a year of soul searching, she will re-enrol – this time in Brunel - to pursue a BSW. She will later take up a job in social services in Greenwich. Seungwan’s decision will further aggravate her already strained relationship with her mother and they will never reconcile as Seungwan’s mother will die unexpectedly in a car accident five years later, leaving her daughter the majority of her shares in the company she had built from scratch.

Seungwan will use a portion of the money to annually donate to Barry and Martin’s Trust. Not petty at all, Seungwan will reply cheekily, to which Joohyun will only shake her head in amusement.

Seungwan and Joohyun will settle down in the southern part of Notting Hill. They will not marry but they will not need to. Joohyun will overcome her reluctance to DIY works and take an immense liking to home decoration and throwing parties for their new friends and neighbours – and even for Seungwan’s father who will once again become a part of his daughter’s life. Seungwan’s affinity for singing will remain but only as a hobby. She will hum self-composed melodies every now and then, still leaving Joohyun breathless at the sound but sometimes giving Chanyeol Park a headache when he is rudely woken up in the middle of the night because it cannot wait.  

Late at night, Seungwan will stare at Joohyun’s sleeping face, always wondering how she got so lucky. Other nights, she will be too busy making love to the gorgeous lawyer.

Oh, and Joy Park? Curiously enough, she will stay in touch with both Seungwan and Joohyun long after their sixth form graduation. To no one’s surprise, she will obtain a PhD degree in Applied Mathematics and Theoretical Physics with honours and will continue working as a lecturer in her alma mater in Cambridge. Her unchanged prickly character and smart mouth will be the headache of the whole faculty and the source of amusement of all her students. At 35, to everyone’s astonishment, she will take a yearlong sabbatical to realise her lifelong dream and write her first best-selling novel.

It will be titled The Purity Club.

A/N: I include a rather long Author's Note on the next page. If you don't feel like reading it, that is fine. In that case, let me just say: thank you. Thank you so much for everything. You were all part of this story as much as I was, and you all helped me when I was feeling down. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Yours, A.