170520

‘Dude, there is no avoiding the elephant in this room,’ Chanyeol observes in a hushed tone, as soon as the rehearsal is officially over and the three of them have gathered at the back of the garage to collect their bags. The three heads inevitably bend together, a familiar rhythm already set between them.

Minseok had a brief talk with Sehun first – the moment the younger put down his bass, the leader dragged him away to the corner, his eyes continuously sliding between the older Bae sibling seated in the distance and the younger in front of him as if yet undecided on the verdict he’d give. Whatever happened within the two minutes Sehun and Minseok shared couldn’t have been bad, though, as the latter eventually nodded once and bidding everyone a quick goodbye, left first, not sparing Joohyun another look.

They are all equally privy now to what happened the morning before, but none of them have seen Sehun until the rehearsal, so it is understandable that Chanyeol jump at the first opportunity to remedy that sore disadvantage.

‘I’ll tell you guys later, all right? I-I need to go back and check on Xing.’ There is an air of hesitation in his voice, and Seungwan definitely does not miss the blush on her friend’s cheeks as he ducks to hide under his longish fringe, but she lets it go for now.

‘How is he feeling?’ The girl asks instead, putting away her microphone carefully back into the case. Judging from her mother’s recent stern reactions to Seungwan’s… well, everything, there may not be any more money for the new equipment if anything happens to the one that she owns now, so better be safe than sorry.

‘Not so great,’ Sehun admits apprehensively. ‘But better.’

‘Are you really not going to turn your brother in? He’s got a loose screw in that brainless head of his. Blimey, I knew he was mental but this is really too much,’ Chanyeol announces incredulously, not minding the naturally boisterous volume of his speech.

‘Joohyun and I told Yixing that he’s free to report Junmyeon – and I still think that he should. But he doesn’t want to, and I also know why. My brother is his best friend.’ He sighs. ‘Plus, if he does, everyone will want to know the reason behind this fight and then… well, everyone will eventually learn about us, my parents included.’

‘I’m not one to lecture you but there’s only so long that you can hide in that closet of yours. Soon you’re gonna suffocate in there.’ Chanyeol gives him a long, sympathetic look. ‘It’s kinda better out, you know? No matter what, it’s just better out. And if you need money and stuff, we’re here for you, dude.’

‘Excuse me, my mother definitely won’t give a penny to support his gay arse,’ Seungwan playfully interrupts the heartfelt speech, making both of her male friends snort in laughter at the unexpected joke.

‘Don’t worry. When both your families disinherit you, you’ll still have my parents – in fact, they will be overjoyed at this new development. It’s like a bloody rainbow parade in my house every day, with my mother continuously interrogating me about all the lovely gay boys that I meet at school. One would think that adopting an Asian child who ended up queer was the best decision in her life,’ Chanyeol snickers, but there is an undoubted fondness in his eyes which tells Seungwan just how happy her friend’s household really is.

She smiles wider at that.

‘I think.. I think that I don’t care about that anymore.’ Sehun clears his throat, still looking unsure. ‘I’ve given it some thought and Yixing is right. It’s not fair to him or to myself. It’s just money – I will deal with it when I have to. But I deserve to be happy too, don’t I..? It’s just become such a burden, to always look over my shoulder.’ He looks so lost that Seungwan grabs his hand and squeezes it reassuringly. ‘So I’m not going to advertise it, but I’m not going to ignore my.. my boyfriend in public anymore.’ The word still sounds so foreign among them. ‘If somebody’s bothered enough to inform my folks, I’ll take it. All I know is that Joohyun promised it wouldn’t come from Junmyeon.’

‘Are you even sure that you can trust him? Either of them, actually?’ Chanyeol asks, still suspicious.

‘There is one truth about twins, Chanyeol Park, and that is they share a really strong bond,’ the three friends turn around at the sound of Joohyun’s voice. Impatient at Sehun’s lack of progress in packing his belongings, she has approached them first. ‘I know things about Junmyeon that even he doesn’t know about himself. He will not say anything to our father, because if he does, he will drown alongside Sehun. I just helped him realise that.’ She takes a step further, and the red head boy pulls back immediately.

‘Gay zone. Gay zone, don’t come any closer,’ Chanyeol makes a general round movement around them with both his arms. His limbs are so long that he nearly knocks Seungwan out, but she dodges the abrupt maneuver at the last moment.

Joohyun rolls her eyes.

‘Your jokes are lame, Chanyeol Park, and it’s high time somebody told you that. Our problems aside, I still do not understand why my brother even associates with you. He’s funnier and smarter than you in every respect,’ she retaliates with a pointed look, which leaves Seungwan and Chanyeol gaping at the unexpected audacity, while Tao, who all this time has been standing nearby, guffaws obnoxiously.

‘Is your sister gonna be your fluffer from now on? Because in that case, I’ll definitely stick around more often. It’s hilarious.’ Sehun reddens embarrassed, unsure of what to reply to that, but Joohyun ignores the other boy.

‘We promised Yixing that we would visit in the afternoon. Let’s go, we still need to stop by the bakery,’ the girl urges, subtly taking a hold of her brother’s arm.

‘I don’t think that he will care whether we bring him pastry or not,’ the boy refutes, sighing exasperated, but the older girl shakes her head.

‘It’s impolite to show up empty-handed.’ Sehun does not bother telling her that he will be spending every free minute that he has in Yixing’s room, so if she really intends to buy a gift every time, she might have to spend a small fortune. Then again, he suspects it may have something to do with her sense of guilt and responsibility she feels for what happened, so he lets it be.

‘We’re ready,’ Seungwan announces, adjusting the strip of her bang on her shoulder.

‘We?’ Joohyun echoes, looking at her doubtfully.

‘We’re all going to visit Yixing, of course,’ Chanyeol looks at Joohyun like it should be obvious – never mind that he has never exchanged more than two words with the older student. Joohyun just sighs.

The five of them pick up a box of cream puffs from the shop next door on their way back to school. The three boys lead the way, and Seungwan and Joohyun somehow end up walking together at the back.

‘Do you like our songs?’ Seungwan, who has never been good at handling unwelcomed silence, tries to strike up a conversation about the first thing that comes to mind. It feels awkward, though, because she still vividly remembers the heated exchange they shared the morning before. Seungwan vowed in that moment to never again spare Joohyun Bae as much as a glance, but it seems that future has other plans in store for her.

‘No. They are extremely noisy,’ Joohyun replies immediately and the younger girl tries not to let that dampen her spirits. Too bad because I wrote most of them about you. ‘I don’t understand how all of you have not yet been deafened.’

‘Kind of like you and your chorals, then,’ Seungwan grins cheesily and Joohyun rolls her eyes. The singer does not know when Joohyun’s brash attitude began, but it strangely suits the girl. ‘Seriously though, are you really planning on sticking with us from now on..?’

‘Not with you - with my brother,’ the president corrects. ‘I’m planning on spending more time with Sehun. I can’t help if he spends all his time with you.’

It must have come off more forceful that Joohyun intended for it to be, because Seungwan becomes silent after the remark. They trail far behind the boys for a good minute, before Joohyun speaks up again, this time quietly,

‘Look, I’m not going to pretend that yesterday did not happen. I know that you had approached me with ulterior motives and quite frankly, I’m not very fond of you, Seungwan. You and I might as well be polar opposites, that’s how different we are. I think you and your friends lack direction in life and sometimes, I cannot understand what drives you. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t associate with you at all.

‘But you and I have one thing in common,’ she adds before Seungwan can refute the harsh judgement. ‘We deeply care about Sehun. I know that I haven’t been the best sister to him but I don’t want to lose him, Seungwan. Do you know how jealous I am of you? You’ve claimed my brother without even trying. When he’s in trouble, his first instinct is to turn to you and Chanyeol. Meanwhile I… I don’t even know him anymore.’

Both girls look ahead, to where the three boys argue, undoubtedly about something completely immature. Sehun’s shoulders are shaking in mirth, good humour sipping through his frame.

Seungwan doesn’t know what to say to that. Sure enough – things at home have never been great, so wherever she went, her friends would usually become her family. It is not a foreign concept to think of Sehun as a brother; a younger brother, too, although they are the same age - something about him just spurs her protective instinct. It has just never crossed Seungwan’s mind that Joohyun could feel that way, even though she has already caught a glimpse of the older girl’s feelings of regret during the conversation that the two had in the chapel.

‘It was never my intention to take your place – and honestly, I don’t think I have. But you guys have some serious issues that only you two can resolve.’

‘I know, I’d never blame you… I should be thankful he at least had you during the time when I lost sight of what’s important to me,’ Joohyun admits, her grip on the handle of the pastry box involuntarily tightening. ‘We talked for a very long time yesterday. So I would like to think that perhaps we have made the first step in the right direction,’ she adds hastily, trying her best to appear unaffected. Seungwan guesses that it cannot be easy for the president to discuss something so private with the singer, of all people.

But the fact that she does lets Seungwan know just how desperate Joohyun has to be for her brother’s attention.

‘Well, until you do make up, I don’t think Sehun will trust you with any part of his life, let alone with someone as important as Yixing is to him,’ Seungwan points out. ‘But if it makes you feel any better, Sehun never confided in any of us either.’

‘But if he were to, you’d have been his first choice,’ Joohyun sighs and Seungwan has nothing to say to that because they both know it’s the truth.

‘I don’t think he’s given up on you yet, unlike he did the rest of your family, so if you’re willing to meet him at least half way, you’ll make it work.’ Seungwan grins in good faith and surprisingly, it brings a tiny smile to Joohyun’s lips.

Why does she have to be so beautiful, why-

‘We talked for a very long time last night. It was very… enlightening.’

‘Is that why Sehun didn’t go back to his room last night?’ Upon Joohyun’s questioning gaze, Seungwan shrugs. ‘Chanyeol texted me in captions, certain that you’d dragged Sehun to Sherwood forest and sacrificed in the name of god. I didn’t bother mentioning that his imagination of your church was a bit askew.’

Joohyun scoffs, albeit looking mildly amused.

‘Seulgi went back home with her parents for the night. He fell asleep at some point so I tucked him to bed.’

‘You talked the whole day?’

‘More or less. Went to have food. Prayed in the chapel. Said bye to parents. Visited Yixing in the infirmary. Went back to my room.’ The older girl recounts. Seungwan sends her a small smile.

‘I’m glad for you, then.’

‘I’ve realised just how much I’ve missed of my brother’s life – and I was next to him all along. Not just… who he likes, but small things. After we’ve explained some things to each other, I asked about everything that I could think of. He said that his band was important to him, so I’m here. I’ll go to see your concert on Sunday.’

‘You’re going to our gig? You hate our band,’ Seungwan’s jaw nearly drops to the floor, that’s how speechless she becomes at the revelation. ‘And you just said that our music is noisy.’

‘It is noisy but I don’t hate it. I don’t approve of some of the content that you sing about, but if yesterday’s events taught me anything, it’s that I don’t have to do that to still be there for my brother. It’s his life. If I want to be a part of it, all I have to do is support him. He knows better than to do anything stupid,’ she says as an afterthought.

‘All right then. What else did he say?’ Seungwan really wants to know now. She’s aware that some bits of that conversation might be too private for either sibling to ever share with an outsider, but she’s going to try to get them to talk nonetheless, if only for the sake of protecting Sehun.

‘He said that his friends are not what I think they are, that they always look out for him and that he would like me to get along with them.’

‘Well..’ Seungwan responds, prolonging the last consonant in a thoughtful manner. ‘I can tell you right now that hell will sooner freeze than Minseok Kim becomes your friend.’ Although harshly said, there is not point beating around the bush with this one.

‘Actually, I was hoping to start with you,’ Joohyun admits, looking everywhere but at the other girl. Seungwan’s eyes widen comically, her expression astonished.

All sorts of things are happening today.

‘You do realise that you just told me yesterday that we could never be friends,’ Seungwan points out, trying not to feel bitter, but failing.

‘Yes,’ the older admits.

‘And yet you still approach me like this now.’ It comes across more like a sentence than a question. Perhaps the twins are more alike than anyone wants to admit – both have positively lost their minds.

‘As I already said, I’m not going to pretend that yesterday didn’t happen. Everything that I said, I still believe in. You wanted to get close to me to humiliate me, so you cannot possibly expect me to rush into a friendship that I know aims at my dignity.’ Although Seungwan’s intention have been anything but that, this time she says nothing. She has to acknowledge that nothing in her silly pursuit of Joohyun went how the younger imagined it to go. ‘But I was also harsh and not even trying to understand why you said and did certain things.’

Seungwan her lips, a nervous tick manifesting itself unconsciously.

‘So what do you want?’

‘I’m hoping that you and I can meet half way, just like you suggested that Sehun and I do. This time as people who want to get to know each other, not as enemies who let their prejudice blind them before they even begin.’

‘So no judgement,’ Seungwan frowns in disbelief, because this sounds suspiciously good.

‘I can’t promise that I will agree with everything that you do, but I will not judge you. And you will not judge me,’ she adds.

‘I don’t judge-‘

‘Seungwan, please. I don’t know a person more condescending than you are in certain situations and equipped with your rusty armour of sarcasm. If you can overcome the need to throw in an ironic remark regarding everything I do and believe in every five seconds, we will learn to co-exist in peace and perhaps with time, even like each other.’

‘I can do that,’ Seungwan responds eagerly. ‘For Sehun,’ she supplies right after, seeing Joohyun’s raised eyebrow.

Joohyun wants to be around her and get to know her, for real this time. Sehun or not, Seungwan is going to take that chance, because it might be her last shot. Because she is in too deep – she’s always been a fool in love.

‘Well, then. I suppose we can call it truce for now,’ Joohyun ends it at that, as they are approaching the school.

‘I suppose we can,’ Seungwan responds coolly. On the inside, however, she is dying a thousand happy deaths.

To: Seung-slow

Is Sehun with you?

To: My twin

You live with him, you tell me.

To: Seung-slow

Haven’t seen him since we parted ways after dinner.

To: Seung-slow

…Is it possible that JH abducted him?

To: My twin

Sometimes idk whether you’re taking

a piss or if you’re just dumb

To: My twin (is dumb)

He sent me a message not to

worry and not to say anything

to anyone about yx. Same old

To: Seung-slow

There are ways of getting back at Junmyeon

without mentioning Sehun or Yixing you know

To: My twin (is dumb)

I better not catch you setting his

sports gear on fire again >.>

To: Seung-slow

Bloody hell, that was in tenth grade.

I’m not that clubbing any more

To: Seung-slow

Childish* anyway I know something.

To: My twin (is dumb)

What do you know

To: Seung-slow

I can sense your condescending vibes all the

way from here, cheers. Don’t you worry, ill

take care of junmyeon all right.

To: My twin (is dangerous)

Chanyeol, im serious.

Don’t do anything dumb ok.

Your mother is counting on me to

keep you alive D:

To: Seung-slow

On another note, I have a gift for you. It’s a bottle of

blue hair dye.

To: My twin (is dangerous)

omfg I hate you D;

News. Gym

Not again, Seungwan inwardly groans as tosses her cell away and presses her face back into the pillow. The holiday was too short and Tuesday came too quickly. She knows that she has to get up anyway, but the text from Tao means that she has to do it now and not in twenty minutes. Although she is tempted to just ignore the message, she opts not to. She does not receive them that often anyway – and when she does, it usually is the juiciest piece of gossip out there.

Seungwan still does not understand why Tao won’t just text them the details instead, but she is willing to indulge him.

When Seungwan finally – and quite literally - rolls out of bed, Joy is already at her desk, dressed and applying peach lip tint with the seriousness matching that of signing the constitution.

The clock on her desk tells Seungwan that she has exactly 9 minutes and 37 seconds before she has to leave, but as it is, she does not even remember where she’s tossed her uniform shirt last night. She groans, out loud this time, thinking about having to survive the entire morning on the only food that she has in her rucksack – a half-eaten Cadbury choco bar and a couple of mints. She has missed breakfast again.

‘How’s it hanging, Joy,’ she mumbles, not really expecting an answer. She is accustomed to being ignored by the younger half of the time. This morning, however, she is in for a surprise.

‘I’m going to confess to the boy I like today after school,’ the younger announces, puckering her lips to the hand mirror. Seungwan does a double take.

‘Oh, wow. Good luck, I guess?’

‘Do I look like I need luck?’ Joy turns to her, looking at her like she’s lost it. I guess not, Seungwan thinks to herself, but only shakes her head.

‘Uh. I didn’t know that you had somebody you liked, that’s all,’ the older girl remarks off-handedly, going through the pieces of her wardrobe hanging off her chair. Here you are, she looks at her pleated skirt. Now, where is my tie…?

‘You would know if you ever took interest in my life,’ Joy states matter-of-factly, standing up and checking for any wrinkles on her own attire.

‘I didn’t know I was allowed to,’ Seungwan admits, quickly putting on her bra and the shirt she’s found.

‘You’re not,’ Joy smiles at her, a complete contrast to what just left . Seungwan blinks, stupefied. ‘I’m gonna be late tonight, bye.’

The singer realises that she has 4 minutes and 5 seconds before she has to leave.

‘Why is everyone so slow today? We only have 15 minutes left till class,’ Tao whines as soon as Seungwan arrives, but she needn’t have been in a rush - she’s the only person there.

‘Did you text everyone?’

‘Jongin is skipping the morning class, so he’s not here, but the rest should be.’

‘And why do you always get all your gossip so early in the morning? This is getting unbearable.’

‘I usually make out with my girlfriends before class, so…’ Seungwan pretends to vomit and he merely laughs, leaving it at that.

They finally arrive, after what Seungwan regards as very tense 2 minutes and 3 seconds, because Tao is on edge and would not stop complaining.

‘Alright, we have no time, so let me just tell- Wait, what is she doing here?’ All eyes land on Joohyun who has arrived alongside Sehun and Chanyeol.

‘I told you my sister will spend more time with us from now on,’ Sehun frowns, not understanding the commotion.

‘I didn’t realise it meant she’d be everywhere,’ Tao observes, a bit annoyed.

‘I’m hardly everywhere. I went to your rehearsal and to visit Yixing yesterday. Today Sehun and I happen to walk to school together,’ Joohyun observes, checking her wrist watch. ‘I don’t know what this is about, but you better hurry. I don’t want those untimely gatherings to affect my brother’s attendance.’

Seungwan catches Chanyeol’s eye over the other girl’s shoulder. The drummer is struggling to keep his composure, because boy, isn’t this new Joohyun a shock to all of them – and especially to Sehun, if his own expression is anything to go by.

‘Well? I thought you had some exciting news to share?’ Seungwan urges, because she really doesn’t like to be late for math. Every time she does, she never hears the end of it from Mr. Walters.

‘Well,’ Tao looks at her pointedly. ‘This is going to be awkward, because the gossip is actually about Joohyun.’

The other three immediately turn to the oldest girl again.

‘What did I do this time?’ She asks, exasperated – bored even.

Tao looks at her apprehensively.

‘Sarah overheard two of the Union’s members talk about changing name plates at the club’s notice board later this afternoon. They said that… you’re not longer the president of the Christian Union.’

‘Huh?’ Sehun and Seungwan simultaneously express their surprise, while Chanyeol frowns. Not that it concerns them in any direct way, but it is, indeed, quite an unexpected turn of events.

Joohyun sighs deeply, before replying,

‘News travels fast, doesn’t it? It’s true. I’m not longer part of the Union,’ she confirms. Sehun gapes at her, unable to comprehend the development.

‘You’re not only suddenly no longer the president, you’ve left the Union altogether? But that club is your life! What, why?’ Her younger brother looks at Joohyun like she has lost her mind. She shrugs, but they can all see that it’s not as unimportant to her as she is trying to make it out to be.

‘Because there was only one thing that Junmyeon wanted more than to run to father and immediately confess everything that he saw on Sunday, so we’ve made a deal. It’s not all that there is to it, but it’s part of it.’ She puts both her hands on Sehun’s shoulders, looking at him seriously. ‘I was serious when I said that I will protect you. I let you down before, but that won’t happen again.’

They all stand there for a moment, not really knowing what to say and trying to process it all in their own way.

‘I’m going to go now, my class is starting, and I advise you all to do the same. I will see you at lunch.’ She stops after a few steps, as if remembering something, and takes out a small bundle from her bag.

‘I didn’t see you at breakfast, Seungwan. I thought you could use a sandwich before class,’ she hands the younger the food and leaves right after.

The four friends watch her retreating back before Tao finally breaks the silence.

‘Well, that escalated quickly,’ he admits, picking up his bag from the ground. One thing for sure – Seungwan will not be able to focus on her class at all.

Not when Joohyun Bae cared enough to make her a cheese sandwich.

A/N: Thank you so much for all your encouraging words. I'll try my best to reply to all the comment, I just really don't have that much time :( But I read them all, they really get my through the day. Thank you so much.