New Hope (and Joy Park's menace)

The Purity Club

 

171227


 

 

‘Bloody Taemin… ruining everything… what will Minho do now…’ Joy Park continues lamenting and Joohyun gets a strange sense of déjà vu: inebriated Joy, spouting nonsense left and right is what has already happened once before.

The youngest nearly falls over the bed, trying to reach for her fluffy pillow to hug as she rocks back and forth, hiccupping and all. It is a truly pitiful sight, but one that Joohyun has no heart to blame Seungwan for - this time anyway. Before either of them could grasp the situation, Joy brought out her own stash of beer hidden under the bed. That was half an hour ago and there was no stopping her, although Joohyun does worry about the younger’s irrational consumption. Right now, Joy is already completely defeated, mumbling obscenities directed at her soon-to-be forgotten idol; Seungwan is slowly sipping her second bottle of Budweiser while pensively staring at the screen of her laptop, the only film that she seems to acknowledge when drinking playing out for the thousand time; and Joohyun? Joohyun is experiencing a major heartache over her broken friendship with Seulgi.

‘I said, what do you think of him?’ Joy’s insistent voice jolts Joohyun out of her own bubble. She blinks and slowly turns to the younger, frowning as her gaze falls on the screen of Joy’s cell.

‘Who is he?’ She asks rather dumbly, not fully understanding what is expected of her.

‘His name is Mark. Yerim and I fought because she had betrayed SHINee and has now dedicated herself to his band only… Yet she pretended that she hadn’t, can you believe the cheek?’ Joohyun blinks again, unsure of what to reply to such accusation, but Joy Park does not need any visible encouragement to continue. ‘But I’m thinking…’ Joy hiccups, letting out soft giggles. ‘He’s kinda cute, isn’t he. Yerim likes his other bandmate, but get this - and that part got me super mad, I need to do more research - the guy is like a criminal, or something. He scammed a bunch of people on eBay.’ Joohyun’s eyes widen in alarm, involuntarily so. She does not even understand why celebrity drama would get to her at all, for she remains as confused as ever. It must be the late hour and the three sips of alcohol she had from Seungwan’s bottle.

‘What are you, ladies, whispering about?’ The third companion decides to join their conversation in that precise moment, letting her own attention slip away from the narrative. Joohyun realises that Wilhelmina and Vivian are already dancing their last dance – Seungwan must have skipped a good portion of the film, deciding to go straight for the happy ending.

‘I was just saying to Joohyun, don’t you think that younger guys are trendy these days?’ Joy jumps right in. Joohyun frowns. Was that what she has been talking about all this time?

‘Trendy? Like a new pair of Converse, you mean?’ Seungwan does not quite get it, either, Joohyun realises with a bit of relief, despite the years of exposure to pop culture that the singer must have had. In Joohyun’s house, there has never been such thing as pop music – you listen to either classical music or Christian music. There is no other choice and Joohyun has never wanted or needed any.

‘Seungwan, for a musician you are lagging behind what’s popular by at least 2 decades,’ Joy huffs and Seungwan shrugs.

‘I like it that way,’ she grins absentmindedly.

‘What I mean is, all my friends on Twitter are now getting into younger bands.’

‘I think it would do you some good if your new hobby did not involve another set of half- dudes,’ is what Joohyun hears Seungwan mumble and she lets out a small smile, almost despite herself. Joy overhears it too, but is not amused; she is not even mad. Rather, she hangs her head low, looking miserable again.

‘Go ahead, ridicule me,’ she says offhandedly, sighing dejected. Seungwan frowns, sensing that she has joked once too many times. She walks up to her roommate, looking mildly remorseful. She has never seen Joy like this before.

‘Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it. It’s just that-‘

‘It’s just what?’ Joy interrupts her looking up, but there is no heat in her voice. ‘Am I not allowed to have somebody to look up to? To feel happy about? Sure, I like looking at him and I find him y, but do you even know why I started liking him in the first place? Do you care why I bother at all?’

Joohyun, a sudden but nonetheless still mere witness to the conversation chances an uncomfortable look at the two. She does not want to intrude, but it is hard to take her eyes off the hurt look that Joy is sporting.

‘I suddenly starting rooming with you last April but you never asked me once why I transferred school.’ It does not take more than one glance at guilt stricken Seungwan to recognise the words as truth. Joohyun somehow knows that the vocalist did not, but from what she knows of their relationship, Joy Park does not make it easy for anyone to get to know her, either. ‘Don’t you wonder why Yerim is around so much? Did you ever think that perhaps she might be my only friend in here?’

Seungwan Son has nothing to say as she slowly shakes her head, looking extremely apologetic.

‘So stop being so bloody judgemental, you idiot,’ Joy retorts, but once again without malice. ‘Give me a break. You have things that make you happy, too, don’t you? Like your band. They’re all morons, but you have each other’s back when it matters and you’re there to pick up the pieces when it’s too hard.’

‘Sorry,’ Seungwan mutters, patting the younger awkwardly. ‘I’m really an idiot. Of course you’re allowed to have any pastime you like.’

‘Yes, you are,’ Joy immediately responds in a shadow resemble of her usual self, but quickly becomes sombre again. ‘I liked him so much, I believed in him. When I was having a hard time, I would look at him achieving his dreams and I knew that my goals were also not beyond reach. That if he can take the bad days and the pressure and all that hate, I can too. Thanks to him, I didn’t give up and I wasn’t so lonely anymore. To realise that he is not who I thought he was breaks my heart and makes me think that it was all in vain. That I needn’t have bothered with either him or myself.’

Joohyun does not know when the tears appear, but they suddenly run hotly down her cheeks and she cannot even lift her hand to wipe them off. She feels for Joy, she really does but her heart aches more for the truth behind her words. It is so hard for her to pretend she is not hurt, because she does not even feel she has the right to, not with all the wrongdoings she has committed; but it is even more difficult to go on without guidance, without having certainty that what one does actually means something. She prays every night without fail but no answer ever comes. Until it does, Sehun’s thankful embrace and Seungwan’s surprisingly unwavering support would have to do because Junmyeon and Seulgi, so constant in her life until recently, will not come through for her anymore.

And that realisation kills Joohyun inside.

She quickly wipes her tears with the back of her hand, not wanting the others to notice her despair and gulps down the rest of the beer left by where Seungwan sat just a moment ago, if only to get rid of the lump forming in . Meanwhile, the two roommates who shared a hug separate and the singer says awkwardly,

‘So is this new guy younger than you? Will our room turn into a nursery now?’ The singer moves away and takes her places from before, almost nonchalantly, but it is all to give Joy the space that she needs.

Seungwan’s lame joke does not go unnoticed. Joy snorts offended, sending her roommate a rather condescending look. And just like that, the world starts turning the right way again. Joy Park will never admit to this moment of weakness and Seungwan Son will never bring it up again. However, just by looking at her new-found friend, Joohyun knows that Seungwan will always remember it and will take care to never cross that particular line.

‘He’s only one year younger than me, please,’ Joy’s lecture on the other girl’s immaturity is interrupted by another hiccup.

Seungwan let out an ah of surprise, this time only scooting over to take a better look at the screen of her roommate’s cell and consequently, squeezing Joohyun between herself and the bed frame, almost entirely leaning on the older girl. Joohyun freezes, feeling the warmth of the other’s body and the smell of her liquid soap invading her senses. Is that… bubble gum?

‘Dude, he’s not even fifteen yet? Children, all children.’ Seungwan leans away and Joohyun almost regrets the loss. Almost. She does not understand why the touch feels so comforting all of a sudden. Maybe she is really getting used to Seungwan, is learning to count on her being close like she has always thought that Seulgi would be. Seungwan is different though, she is... tough. She can be extremely silly, offensive even – though usually without meaning to – but she is tough, so unlike Joohyun’s best friend. Joohyun is not really used to being contested, not in a way that actually makes her question her own choices, anyway.

The brunette has decided to stand by Sehun’s side regardless of what she thinks of his actions, but the truth is that it is only thanks to Seungwan that Joohyun is really beginning to understand how wrong she has been to deny him the right to his own decisions.

Before she has time to contemplate the realisation any farther, there is a light knock on the door. The three girls momentarily stop their banter, not really expecting any more company. In a highly uncharacteristic turn of events, considering that the dormitory is female only, Chanyeol Park appears at the door, looking half amused and half irritated.

‘I’ve been waiting for you, dude,’ he says only, taking off his shoes at the threshold merely out of courtesy for Joy’s sense of cleanness but he should have known that the gesture would in no way appease the girl.

‘What is he doing here?’ Joy demands to know, looking deeply disturbed and Joohyun is thankful for that because she is so taken aback that she can only stare at the newcomer blankly. It is one thing to become accustomed to Sehun’s male friends being around all the time at school, but quite another to entertain them in her night gown after dark.

‘Why are you still here when you’d said you’d come after nine?’ Chanyeol ignores the outrage and no at all discouraged, takes a seat on the floor right next to Seungwan who is once again, this time involuntarily, being squeezed against Joohyun.

Joohyun is torn between trying to make space for the younger girl and relishing in the warmth of her body because it is rather cold and the room is very poorly insulated (as old English buildings tend to be) – and all that while still observing the boy making himself comfortable and pulling the laptop towards himself to play whatever it is that he has brought on his USB.

The stick looks like a small figurine of a sad looking hamster with big eyes and Joohyun’s frown deepens.

‘I told you I’d come if I had the time. Do I look like a have the time right now?’ Seungwan’s eyes land on the USB. ‘More importantly, how’d you get a hold of a Porg USB and why didn’t you get me one as well..?’

Their argument continues and eventually, Seungwan purses her lips in annoyance but Joohyun knows that it is just a façade and part of the usual banter between best friends. In all honesty, she is somewhat relieved. She has noticed that in the past weeks more often than not Chanyeol Park has made himself scarce around their small group and that the blue-haired vocalist’s spirits seemed to have dampened because of it. If the boy is back - and so unceremoniously, too, dirty shoes and all - then it means that Joohyun will need to brace herself for more tense stares from him. On the plus side, though, at least her younger brother and Seungwan will regain the spring in their step.

‘What the heck even happened here?’ Chanyeol, who somewhere along the way dyed his awfully blood-red hair into more tolerable silver, looks up from the screen to assess the chaos around them. He then notices the few pieces of paper stuck of the soles of his feet, which he promptly shakes off.

Excuse me, what are you doing here?’ Joy repeats the question, but her tone of voice leaves no room for assumptions of politeness. ‘This is a dorm for girls.’ The desired effect of her malice is then ruined by another hiccup.

Chanyeol turns around to properly look at Joy. Their exchange lasts no longer than three seconds but it is seems enough to give Joohyun an additional on top of the existing one. Eventually, Chanyeol shrugs as if nothing has happened and moves back to play the film. It is Star Wars Episode V, the subtitles are quick to inform them.

‘I just casually got in. The girl downstairs saw me hanging around the door and opened it for me, she told me she saw me at the concert, how cool is that?’ Chanyeol Park, when not angry or moody, is all about teeth. Right now, grinning hard in their general direction like he has never felt more proud of myself, he looks a little bit like a mad man.

Which means that he is pretty much back to being himself.

‘She asked me to sign on her s.’

‘Now you’re just projecting your Aerosmith fantasy, Park,’ Seungwan bites back dismissively, still trying to push him away but as Joohyun has witnessed many times before, it is next to impossible.

‘I’m ing attractive, I’ll have you know,’ Chanyeol immediately argues back. ‘…But yeah, whatever, I wouldn’t have signed on her s anyway. I’m traumatised enough as it is by heteroual mating rituals.’

‘Seungwan, is he really gonna stay here?’ Joy demands to know, interrupting the slow brewing of another one of their pointless arguments. Joohyun mostly just tries to cover herself up, even more so than she already is, considering her night robe is long and made of thick fabric fitted for winter nights. With hands tightly woven on her chest, she gingerly awaits the resolution of this intrusion.

‘Here, have some beer and shut up, will ya. The best parts of Empire Strikes Back are at the beginning and I don’t wanna miss them.’ Surprisingly, Joy does become quiet – she is defeated by the six pack of alcohol that Joohyun did not even notice having been brought inside in the first place. Must be the whirlpool of emotions that got to her. ‘And you,’ Chanyeol points to the eldest, to which Joohyun freezes, suddenly feeling singled out. ‘I really don’t bloody care what’s underneath that medieval looking night dress of yours, so you can stop cowering. Unless you’re hiding a in there, you’ve of no interest to me,’ he finishes, mind already on the film and slurping his drink lazily.

Joohyun gapes in astonishment. She does not know if it is possible for her to ever get used to his attitude. Just when she decides to give the boy a piece of her mind, she feels Seungwan’s hand grabbing hers and she blinks, attention temporarily diverted. The two share a momentary look and then the younger subtly shakes her head, as if pleading with Joohyun to leave Chanyeol alone. If Seungwan is strangely not on the drummer’s case for once, it means that something must have happened and so, Joohyun decides to let it go, merciful as she is. She has other things to worry about, too - Seungwan’s hand ends up staying where it is for nearly half the duration of the narrative and that fact occupies more of her thought process than it ever should, at least in Joohyun’s humble opinion.

 

‘Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow that too…’ Joy mindlessly mumbles to herself, scrolling through her phone. It is nearing midnight and Joohyun really do not know what Chanyeol Park is still doing there with them.

But perhaps the real question is, what is Joohyun still doing there herself?

‘This one is good, they always post funny twits… Oh hey, listen to this.’ All of them turn to her, some more reluctantly than others. ‘Souljia Boy not even a soldier. Dr. Dre not even a doctor. Keep it going…’ The girl falls silent, expression of deep concentration marring her face.

‘Huh?’ Joohyun cannot help but asks unintelligently, not understanding the context –or the whole point - of the message.

Chanyeol Park not even a park!’ Joy then nearly explodes in loud scream, clapping in glee like it is the best joke she has ever heard. She then reaches over the two other girls and hits the boy’s arm for good measure, still laughing, which leaves both Seungwan and Joohyun gaping in astonishment.

‘You dumb, we literally share the same surname,’ the silver haired drummer grumbles, half offended and half amazed at the youngest and her strength. He briefly massages his shoulder to rid himself of the sting of the punch.

 

 

In the next half an hour, both Joy and Seungwan fall asleep – on the bed and on Joohyun’s shoulder, respectively.

‘Don’t ing lead her on,’ Chanyeol mumbles into his bottle, briefly regarding the sight. The only reason why the older girl catches the comment is the sudden silence that envelops the room due to a lull in the narrative. Being the only two awake is beyond uncomfortable now because they are still virtual strangers and Joohyun really just wants to go back to her room, she just does not know how to move Seungwan without waking her up.

‘Pardon?’ She cannot help but ask, still.

Chanyeol puts down his bottle, looking positively conflicted before he sighs and begins,

‘Ok, listen-’

That night, Joohyun holds a conversation that she least expects to have, with a person that she least expects to have it with. Forty five minutes later, both her and Chanyeol leave the room no. 403, each taking their own route.

Joohyun cannot sleep that night.

 

 

 

The next day, Joohyun is waiting for her morning lessons by the classroom door, remaining reluctant to enter despite the few weeks she has had to mentally harden her demeanour.

Yixing Zhang is gone to his own advanced Algebra, which leaves the girl without a partner for small talk to pass the time and tune out any possible unpleasant commentary running in the background. She notices that Junmyeon is already inside, his booming voice carrying all the way across the room. It is too early for his overflowing resentment towards her and she knows that Seulgi is not there with him to provide distraction – Joohyun left her behind in the room as the girl still felt weak. Once the nurse came over to check on her roommate, there was nothing left there for Joohyun to do and she had to get to her class anyway.

‘Hey.’ She looks up from the floor to see the person she would least expect to acknowledge her on the corridor, let alone approach and talk to her – Chanyeol Park. ‘Your cell,’ he says nonchalantly. Only when he hands her the device does she realise why she did not take it out of her pocket in the first place, pretending to be busy but actually merely looking up new products on Hobbycraft, which she would like to purchase but knows perfectly that she would only waste because she has no talent for DIYs. It is because she could not find it anywhere this morning.

‘I-‘ She hesitates before reaching out to retrieve her Huawei. She does not know what to say to him, especially not after last night. She cannot even fathom how Chanyeol came into possession of her cell phone in the first place.

‘Seungwan asked me to give it back to you, she’d do it herself but she got held up at the entrance by the dorm supervisor - something about being obnoxiously noisy last night…’ He mumbles, trailing away and Joohyun could swear that he almost smirks as her as if she is in on the joke – as if they are friends sharing one. ‘Anyway, you forgot your other stuff in their room, too, but she figured that you might need your cell for class.’

She opens to thank him, but no sound leaves . She is still perplexed and quite embarrassed, to be honest. She does not remember one time when she was alone with Chanyeol – and definitely not one that he did not behave hostilely towards her. She has never actively sought his company and had the worst opinion of him; and vice versa, from what she could tell. But after last night… After last night, it seems that they have become closer without really meaning to. Something in their dynamics has shifted – be it due to their shared concern for Sehun or fondness for Seungwan – something has changed and they have finally started seeing eye to eye. Almost, anyway. Joohyun is not even surprised, she has had too many of those enlightening moments recently to really be surprised anymore, but it does not mean she cannot still be flustered over its suddenness.

When the silence prolongs, the boy frowns at her in lack of comprehension so she forces herself to nod at him.

‘Why are you still standing here, by the way? The bell’s gonna go off any minute.’ Why Chanyeol Park is still there – and willing to continue their awkward exchange – is quite frankly beyond Joohyun, for she only looks between her classroom and him a couple of time, again unsure what to reply.

In that moment, Junmyeon’s voice can once again be heard above the general noise coming from the room, the boy trying to explain another concept from their home task to a highly confused classmate. Whatever it is in her facial expression that give away the core of her problem, Chanyeol seems to notice it because he clears his throat loudly and out of the blue announces,

‘I’ll help you inside, these look heavy.’

Before Joohyun can question his sanity – there are exactly two spring notebooks in her arms, 96 pages each, and a small fabric pencil case – they are being taken away from her and the whole 186 centimetres of Chanyeol Park make a rather grand entrance through the door of History class for year 13. Needless to say, Junmyeon’s explanations cease in that precise moment.

‘Excuse me, are you lost?’ The latter’s hiss sounds anything but pleasant as his eyes follow Chanyeol pointedly, but what infuriates the older boy even further, as Joohyun soon realises, is that his comment remains completely ignored.

‘Where’s your desk?’ Chanyeol asks casually, turning around to Joohyun who is still standing at the threshold. The girl does not turn away to see her twin’s reaction to the sudden development, because there is really no need to – the only fit for the occasion emotion in Junmyeon’s book would be utter betrayal.

‘At the back, next to the window,’ she finally rasps, feeling only mildly guilty. Still refusing to acknowledge Junmyeon or anyone who would take notice of him, Chanyeol Park leisurely strolls towards the table before depositing the stationary right on top of it. ‘Thank you,’ she adds.

‘Oh, no need,’ he brushes the words off casually, before doing what he has probably been dying to do since the second he entered the classroom: turning around and making a point to look at Junmyeon who is still staring at them in disdain, he replies for everyone to hear, ‘After all, we’re friends, aren’t we?’

Joohyun does not know if the gasp she hears is her twin’s or her own, the words stun her that much. Friends? Chanyeol Park and her, friends?

The boy finally turns back to look at her and sighs at the sight of her stupefied features.

‘Look,’ he adds impatiently, this time much, much quieter. ‘Don’t take it as forgiveness… or whatever. I’ve been told repeatedly that it’s not my place to hold grudges when those directly involved have already forgiven the offence so I’m just moving on with my life, all right? And if you’re gonna hang around both of my best friends from now on, then it just means that you’re also my responsibility now.’ The bell rings as he finishes the sentence and Joohyun is thankful for that, because she really does not know where Chanyeol is going with it – and more importantly, what her own reaction should be. He takes one more look at her before adding, ‘See you at lunch, Bae.’ Then he is gone.

And just like that, Joohyun suddenly becomes Bae.

 

A/N: Hi all, I have a few announcements.

First of all, Iike some other writers out there, I mildly regret having brought SHINee into this story, because I feel awkward and don't know how to handle it now - and also lost all volition to write about them for obvious reasons - so it's fortunate that I've already decided to remove that subplot beforehand. The loss of Kim Jonghyun touched many of us deeply and I just want to let you know that it's all right to grieve somebody whom you didn't personally know. Such is a role of celebrity - without even meaning to, they affect us, for better or worse. He was and remains an inspiration, and for those who mourn him, please only remember his good fight, not his surrender. May he rest in peace.

As for this chapter, as usual everything will be revealed in due time, the conversation between Joohyun and Chanyeol included. Next chapter is half way written alrady and all about WenRene so :3 It will have to wait a little bit.

Thank you for support as always, please upvote if you like. Hope you all had a good holiday if you celebrate it and I'll talk to you in the new year. 

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Changdeol
It was incredible to wake up and see that I was featured. Thank you all for your continuous interest and support and I hope new readers will also be satisfied with my story ^^ Thank you ~

Comments

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toottoot #1
Chapter 37: back here again because i'm due for my yearly reread of this amazing story.
no matter how many times i've read it still is able to evoke the same emotions that i've felt when i read it the first time. amazing amazing piece of work
Sosha-kun
#2
Chapter 37: i am yet again reading this, I think it's for the second time since the other times I was just skimming through my favorite parts. This has always remained as the best novel I've ever read. I read it in a time that I was also struggling. I'm not a believer, really, but it helped me accept thar and be tolerant to people who are. I read it again and as a coincidence I was reading the chapter you posted on Christmas today which is Christmas also. I stopped feeling festive in this time of the year, and although I am surrounded by my family I've felt lonely for a very long time, no one really knows me. Because of thar this story is the closest I've gotten to feeling understanding and companionship. I said it before and I'll sait it again, you're a phenomenal writer. I'm no exo fan but you're partly the reason why they appear in some of my stories. I remembered their characters here dearly. I hope you are less busy now and enjoying life. I want to pursuit a PhD so you having finished one many years ago and holding 2 jobs and still finding tike to write this is amazing. Late congrats and merry Christmas!
Greta_14 #3
Chapter 37: this is one of my favorite fics ever and returning to it is always so so nice!! i remember reading it for for the first time when i was like 16-17, and goshhhh, did it make me cry... not to go into details but i was struggling a lot with my uality and this brought me a lot of comfort. that one part where wendy talks about how as a lesbian you have two choices - you either close yourself off and die alone, or chase the one you love and fight the world as a team is now part of my inner monologue when stuff gets really hard. it's quite literally a part of me.

and tbh, i find it hard to connect to male characters in media in general but the one person i related to the most here was surprisngly sehun. his fears and struggles and relapses hit deeply and i'm so happy he managed to be so strong. i actually was so fond of his character and hurt with him which sounds crazy but it's because your writing is so incredible! very very witty too, i've giggled a lot over it.

i can talk a lot about this but it's 2am and my mind is in that sleepy but emotionally heightened state and the one thing i can say right now is that this fic really means a lot to me. sincerely, thank you for writing it and i hope everything goes well for you in life, author!
Seungwanniepuppy #4
Chapter 37: This is one of the best wenrene fics i read so far. Love how we got the ending for everyone. Maybe slowburn but so many lessons to learn about life. Thank you for this story Author.
mklarisse_ #5
Chapter 35: so happy for them 🥹🥹🥹🥹 i really enjoyed reading this every night
mklarisse_ #6
Chapter 32: i really liked reading this story.. i only had the time to read it now but its really so good my heart hurts skdjdj i hope sehun will be okay :( and aaah the charac development of joohyun am so happy!!!
seuldya
#7
I think it's that time of the year again...
mklarisse_ #8
Chapter 6: poor seungwannie </3
cheysday
#9
Although i dont like that seulgi was the one put in the situation but I have a special place for this work. It stood out to me personally, it felt real and could actually happened in real life. Its amazing when people could do such things. Amazing work.
wendybae_22
16 streak #10
Wkwkwkwk aku berharap ini fluff dan bukan angst