Script of the Angel

≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎ ♠ ≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎

Title [10/10]

I actually really love your title. For one, I find it intriguingly original, and it fits perfectly with your story. The mysterious and dark vibe of your title really helps sets everything into place as well – and I love the contradiction that was made in the title. Script of the Angel; something so pure and holy yet portrayed so morbidly and horrifyingly in your story. Perhaps the Angel is Jaebum himself as he sees himself as the angel of death. Or perhaps the Angel refers to his victims, who knows? In any case, I think this is a well-thought out title, and it definitely captured my attention.
 

Description and Foreword [8/10]

Personally, I quite liked your description/foreword. It gave me enough information to be interested in your story, but at the same time you didn’t give me too much information that the story was spoiled. The only thing about this section that I would comment on was perhaps the way you structured it.

Firstly, you gave me three descriptions of the plot in this section, and though I found all three interesting enough, but perhaps it’s a little too much? I can understand the second description (the one in green) because it’s sort of like a character introduction, but I felt that you could combine the first and the third one together instead of separating them to make it more…unified, I guess.

Secondly, though you did put dividing lines between each section, but I still found the content of your description/foreword a bit crammed up. It might just be me being picky, but visually, I would’ve felt more comfortable if you added more space in between.

Setting aside the two suggestions I put up above, the rest of this section is fine. In fact, your description/foreword is fine the way it is right now, but have a look at my suggestions anyway and see if you agree with me.

Plot [14/15]

I have to say, I love your plot, I really do. I can’t say that it’s the most original plot since I have read other thriller stories before with similar vibes, but then again, I find it original anyway since though thriller stories have similar vibes, but they all consist of different crimes and stories to tell. Plus, I can just imagine how much brain power it would take to think up a thriller story – you’d have to research on so many things, and then you will have to use your imagination to make what you’ve researched into a living story. Since we’re on the topic, it was great seeing the hard work and the research you’ve put into the story. It made me as a reader respect the story more since the author themself respected it so much.

I also liked your use of the three words: Rewritten, Unwritten and Written. For me, they’re quite mysterious words and with only 14 chapters and the story still going underway, I still don’t quite grasp their full meaning yet. But from my own interpretation, I perceived these three words as stages of Jaebum’s killing adventure. Unwritten is the stage where his murders are planned out but not complete, Rewritten is when the murder is complete. As for Written, I’m not quite sure where this word stands yet, but perhaps it represents of his own life and experiences that is being written, or will be written. I don’t know what I’m saying ahha…do correct me if I’m wrong, and if you’d like, give me the correct answers to these three words because I am quite intrigued by them.

Character Development [10/10]

Your characters show personality, and each plays its role in the story well. I’ve got say though, I sort of squealed a little when I saw that Mark Tuan was in your story (he’s my bias ahhaa). Anyway, let’s talk a bit about your characters:
 

Im Jaebum: A bit of a mysterious guy, seemingly void of any emotions apart from his disturbing passion in murdering people. Though not much was given about this guy, but at the same time, a lot was given about him. He’s cold and calculates his every move. Life seems to be a game for him, and he takes it in his hands, manipulating the people around him easily. But maybe it was exactly this character of his that made him so passionate and intrigued with murders – with everything going so well for him in life, he wanted to seek a thrill. You could tell from the way he beautified his murders or the way he turned them into novels that he was a romanticist inside. Despite his stone-cold personality, he had this desire for something raw and beautiful. I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too much into him, and perhaps, as you have mentioned before in your story, he just liked the fact that he was able to kill just because he could. It would be interesting to see in the later chapters what made him this way, because he certainly would’ve experienced something or grew up abnormally to turn out like this.
 

Mark Tuan: I quite like his character. He’s hot-headed, passionate about his work and a smart guy with excellent gut-instincts. Though he seemed quite straight-forward at the moment, but I felt like there’s still something mysterious about him, or perhaps there’s still a secret that he’s keeping? I’m not sure, but in anyway, I hope he quickly solves the case because I sure don’t want Jaebum running loose and killing more girls anytime soon.
 

Suzy: An innocent girl, but somewhat too innocent for her age and definitely too innocent for her own safety. She’s also quite sentimental, and sometimes I just want to knock some sense into her thick head. Girl, you have a serial killer living in your house! Just hurry up and notice that Mark’s telling you the truth!

All in all, I think you have excellent characterization. They are built up steadily and I can see clear distinction between each character – I’ll be interested to see where your characters develop in the future chapters.

Writing Style [20/20]

Your writing style is absolutely beautiful. I love it. That’s all I have to say.

Spelling, Grammar and Diction [24/25]

Overall, you have good grammar and spelling throughout your story. I did find a few mistakes here and there, mainly just misspelling of words but they’re probably just cases of careless errors that everyone makes from time to time. Anyway, nothing to worry about in this section, moving on.

Personal Enjoyment [9/10]

Honestly speaking, I feel like this review wasn’t particularly helpful to you at all because I just felt like I was complimenting you the whole time ahah, sorry about that. But I really did enjoy this story a lot, and it’s been a while since I’ve read something for a review that intrigued me. Even at a point in the story, I even forgot that I was reading your story as a reviewer and just read it like any normal reader would. I honestly feel like your story is underrated, you deserve much more attention that the ones you have now! I’ll definitely be giving you an upvote. Anyway, I don’t usually read thriller stories (because I’m a scaredy cat lol) and now I’m sort of haunted by the events that happened in your story, but nevertheless it was a good read! Keep up the good work!

Final Score [95/100]