Reviewer: Moelolz

Story Link: Here 

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Title [7/10]

Though this title is rather clichéd, and not very eye-catching, but I do think it suits your story.  Sometimes it’s quite hard to judge a title because though it may not be the most original title ever, but it fits in with the overall plot of the story well, or the other way around even. I’d say your title isn’t really the type to scream out at a passing reader looking for a story to read, but it does serve its purpose as a title. The only suggestion I’ll give you is to perhaps change it from “Roommate” to “Roommates” with the plural s at the end. Since this is a story revolving not only around one roommate but a few roommates living together, so I think it would be more appropriate to add the plural.

Description and Foreword [5/10]

There’s no problem with the content of your description & foreword, but, it would be nice to see a little bit more colour and aesthetics on the cover page of your fanfic. Mind you, not everyone on this site cares whether you have a pretty looking cover or not, but I believe there are others who do (like me for example haha).

Though it is more trouble having to design the front cover and make it look aesthetically pleasing – but I do think having one can highlight and boost your story more, not only just to attract readers but to also let your readers enjoy the process of reading your story more. Truthfully speaking, the aesthetics of your story can actually elevate the mood of your story – for instance, if you’re writing an angst, dark story and add in a black themed background, then it actually helps your readers get into that angsty mood better since there’s also a visual element there to affect their emotions.   

Henceforth, I suggest that for your story, I think it’ll be good to at least put in a poster and background (or if you really can’t be bothered with poster, then at least a background). Once again, everyone have their own preferences and not everyone cares as much as I do, but It won’t hurt or annoy anyone if there’s visual element there, right?

 Plot [14/15]

It was a quirky, cute romantic piece of work. I quite liked the vibrant yet chill atmosphere in your story, and it was a light-hearted and easy read that I managed to finish with 1-2 days. And gawsh, the ual banter in your story nearly killed me haha, and just saying, you have officially ruined Running Man for me. Now whenever I watch it I’m just going to be thinking about spartace. I was actually shipping Kwangsoo and Jihyo (it’s a weird ship I know, but I just like seeing the two together), and now you have officially ruined my ship. T_T

Putting all that aside though, I do suggest that perhaps you could put up a trigger warning before chapters that contains ual content? Though your story isn’t so ually explicit, but it is ual enough that I would have expected to see an M-rated sign somewhere. So I really do recommend you make this story M-rated.

Character Development [8/10]

I see that you have kept the characters more or less true to their Running man personality (which I’m actually glad to see because I would’ve found it weird if they had completely different characteristics compared to the variety show). This section is actually a little difficult for me to judge unbiased, because I already knew their personality beforehand and henceforth not really needing much more explanation and development of personality from your side. And as I’m assuming how most of your readers would be the same as me, then I guess there’s not much more to say about this section.

Just one thing is that I noticed there wasn’t much character development in your story. But, though there wasn’t much development in your characters, in my opinion, your story doesn’t really require much development or depth in characterisation. You have characterisation, and for such a light-hearted, comedic story – that’s enough for me.

Writing Style [20/20]

Though your writing style isn’t elegant or pretty per se, but I find it adorably suitable for your story. It’s simple, and though you don’t use long words or sophisticated language, but you managed to draw out emotions and I thought you played the ual banter between Jihyo and Jongkook especially well. Your writing didn’t jump out to me as the best and most outstanding writing ever, but it was the sort where it felt comfortable and nice to read – and your words flowed very well. I was able to forget about the language and delve straight into your story, so great job on that.

Spelling, Grammar and Diction [25/25]

I don’t see much problems with this section, and though I believe if I search every nook and cranny of your story I’ll be able to find some careless mistakes that everyone is bound to make – but at least from when I was reading your story, there were none that jumped out at me.

It was really nice being able to read your story without having to be distracted by grammatical/spelling errors, so thank you for that.

Personal Enjoyment [8/10]

I enjoyed this a lot more than I had anticipated I would. To be honest, I didn’t expect much from your story when I first clicked on it, really just because of the over-simplicity of your cover and the clichéd title, but I was very glad to find myself enjoying your story quite a lot. There isn’t much to comment on your story really, but I really do hope that perhaps you could take in my advice and put in some thought on the design of your fanfiction. Keep writing on, and I would definitely like to check out your other stories!

Final Score [87/100]