Reviewer: Moelolz

Story Link: Here 

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Title [9/10]

I think it’s a very interesting title, and I quite like it. There is no clear connection between the title and your plot, but to be honest with you, I like it like that. That I have to turn my brain to figure out the meaning behind your title, and being a literature student back in high school, I really do miss having to work my brain sometimes. Now, if I was to analyse your title, in my own perspective, this is how I perceived your title with the limited amount of chapters that you have up so far:

‘How to save a Life’ - As you mentioned a few times throughout your story, Kyung-soon uses , uses a rebellious attitude as an attempt to fill in the void of not being loved. But in the end, can really save a life? Or in more literal terms, is what Kyung-soon doing now (playing with guys, dressing herself up in tight leather clothes, being a night cat), really going to save her from feeling unloved? By doing that, can she really set her life right again? So in the end, the question is for Kyung-soon: if what she’s doing now can’t save a life, just how exactly do you save a life?

Anyway, I’m probably reading too much into this (tell me your thoughts on my analysis and how far off I’m off the tracks lol), but nevertheless, good job on what I think is a rather interesting title.

Description and Foreword [7/10]

I’ll be honest with you, I absolutely love the design of your story. The poster and background is just simply amazing, and when I finally realised that Yixing and Luhan’s faces are very faintly hidden in the background, that moment was just too brilliant.

Anyway, in terms of the written part of your description, I don’t see much problems with it. But personally, it didn’t really make me feel that excited to read your story, probably just because I’ve seen many descriptions similar to yours before. Anyway, your description isn’t a bad description, just it could be made more interesting.

Plot [12/15]

For now, this is a hard one to judge. After all, you’ve only got four chapters up so far so it’s hard for me to grasp the idea of the plot just yet. Especially since you don’t have that strong of a plot, and everything still kinds of feels like it’s still swimming under the water and not ready to surface yet.

But anyhow, I’ll try my best to judge your plot as well as I can. At the current moment, there isn’t anything wrong with the plot really. As I said before, it’s not a strong plot, and there is no clear direction of where the story would go - not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing, but I hope (and I believe this is probably your plan anyway) that the plot and direction of the story would grow stronger the more chapters you upload.

I just have two silly questions in regards to the tiniest detail in your plot. They’re not really that important, but being the sensitive and literature person that I am, they were nagging me a little (I’m sorry for being so picky):

1. In the prologue, you mentioned that Kyung-soon has a “short height of 165cm”. In my knowledge, 165 isn’t really a short height at all for Asians. In fact, not just Asians, but for any girl, 165 would be quite a normal height I believe (and especially for Asians, 165 might even be considered above average height since I’m around that height, and is already taller than a lot of my Asian girl friends).
    
2. In chapter one, you mentioned “Luhan to lift his head from behind his delicate hands.” Now, unless I’m mistaken, I believe that Luhan is a bodyguard? So how come his hands was described as ‘delicate’? I would’ve expected rougher hands from professionally trained bodyguards.

Anyway, totally irrelevant questions to the plot I know, but anyway, have a look at them anyway. All in all, it’s clear that your plot is still developing, and I am waiting to see how it develops.

Character Development [8/10]

Much like your plot, your characters are still developing. But the fact that I can tell that they are developing is a good sign, which shows that they aren’t 2-dimensional characters with one-sided character traits. Don’t get me wrong, for some stories, having 2-dimensional characters are actually alright, but generally only purely comedic stories can get away with this.

For your story, it’s the type where character development is very important – so keep it up, and go on developing your characters.

Writing Style [18/20]

You have a fluent and elegant writing style. There were emotion in your writing, and you portrayed your thoughts very well. Good job.

Spelling, Grammar and Diction [20/25]

Overall, it was fluent enough that the mistakes didn’t get in my way of reading too much, but there were small bits here and there that sort of bugged me at times. Off the top of my head, I can’t really remember where I saw these mistakes, but they’re probably just a case of careless mistakes and a matter of double-checking your writing. You could probably correct them yourself.

Personal Enjoyment [6/10]

Overall, it was an enjoyable read. There are many great things going on in your story right now, keep it up and I can’t wait to see how it develops. Also, I’m sorry for the late review, but I was busy with exams lately. All in all, I hope this review was helpful in anyway, fighting!

Final Score [80/100]