§§§§§

For the first time, Namjoo finally sent him a text. The feeling was like discovering water in a desert. He had been so long deprived of receiving a message first that he needed to jump out of his chair to do a victory dance. But it wasn’t the message he was hoping for.

“I have a dinner meeting. Don’t pick me up.” Was the message.

Dinner meeting…since when had Namjoo ever had a dinner meeting? Was she meeting a guy today? Was that why she had dressed in a skirt? The thought had Sehun yearning to punch air.

Damn Namjoo.

Why was she doing this to him?

Instead of replying he focused on completing work to get all assignments done as soon as possible. If Namjoo was having a dinner meeting with some clients that meant Yunyeong would be with her, considering her arm wasn’t fully healed and her car wasn’t back from the garage yet. Sehun would follow them to wherever they were going. He’d find out what Namjoo was really doing and give her a piece of his mind. Even if they were in the process of falling apart he wouldn’t let Namjoo meet other men.

That just couldn’t happen.

From across the street he waited, watched Yunyeong and Namjoo close the agency for the day. As expected, they were going in Yunyeong’s car and Namjoo had taken his blazer off. He made note to scold her later. Once Yunyeong’s car started down the road Sehun cautiously followed. If Yunyeong saw him following she would make sure to tell Namjoo. He couldn’t be caught, so he stayed a few cars behind.

They drove for some 20 minutes before arriving at a restaurant. Sehun pulled in after them and waited some good 10 minutes to make sure they were well seated before following. A door greeter welcomed him by the doorway.

“How many?” she wondered.

He was impatient, eyes darting around. “Just one.”

“Would you like a window seat or a table?”

Catching sight of the menu on the counter he took one and said, “I’ll find my own seat.” before hurrying off.

The restaurant was crowded with evening-goers. Chatter made most of the noise and he could barely hear what was on the radio. Sehun darted around, eyes flying left and right before finally spotting Namjoo and Yunyeong sitting at a table in the center. Hurrying forward he caught sight of an empty table far behind where Namjoo sat. It was a good place to stay hidden and she would never catch him there.

“What can I get for you to drink today?” a waiter walked up to his table.

Lifting the menu up to cover his face Sehun peered at the waiter, “A cup of water.”

When the waiter left Sehun’s eyes darted back to Namjoo and Yunyeong. They were standing now and greeting two individuals Sehun had never seen before in his life. Most importantly, they were men. His eyes narrowed in disapproval.

What were they talking about? What was so important that they needed to meet outside of work?

“Your cup of water, sir,” the waiter was quick to return. “Have you decided on your order?”

His very presence was a distraction from keeping an eye on Namjoo. Sehun couldn’t help but click his tongue annoyed. Sensing something weird Yunyeong turned to glance behind her. Sehun immediately cowered behind the menu.

“Sir?” the waiter asked confused.

Gritting his teeth Sehun hissed for him to be quiet.

“Are you ok?” the waiter, who didn’t seem to understand him, worried.

Turning to him vexed, Sehun spoke irritatedly, “I’m looking at the menu, ok?” heaving another sigh he scanned the menu. The food was pricier than expected. The fact edged into his nerves. At such an expensive restaurant Namjoo was meeting some men…it was so aggravating.

“Decided on what you want?” a voice questioned.

“I’m still looking,” Sehun muttered impatient with why the waiter kept asking. After a second his eyes darted from the menu and toward the side of the table. The waiter had long been replaced by his high school friend.

Sehun gulped but tried not to let it show. He laughed embarrassed, “Oh, Yunyeong.”

She stared down at him, her eyes clearly judging him for the worst, “I’m going to the bathroom. You want to come?”

Immediately frowning, “Ew, that’s gross…” upon catching the raise of her unamused brow he caught on, “all right. I’ll come.”

They were outside in no less than a minute and in no less than a point-second later, Yunyeong was ready to claw him apart.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Sehun looked away like a child caught being devious. “Look,” he turned to her, “I know it’s ridiculous…”

She cut him off, “You’re beyond ridiculous!”

A pair entering the restaurant gave them a side glance. Sehun tried, “Can you tone it down?”

“We’re at work here, ok?” Yunyeong reminded. “This is a good opportunity for Namjoo to expand her career and my sister her business. She doesn’t need a husband snooping around making her look bad.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Sehun defended although it was clearly the truth.

“You think she’s on a date?” Yunyeong’s expression contorted with disbelief. “So you’re telling me she’s always trusted you, but you can’t even give her one percent of that?”

“Why are you getting angry at me,” Sehun asked confused about what this was turning into. “I just…” he stuttered for a clarity of thought.

“Admit it,” Yunyeong pressured, “when it comes to your relationship, your feelings matter more. This is why it’s so hard for Namjoo to talk about herself.”

Sehun stared at the friend appalled at what he just heard. Yunyeong’s stern gaze on him switched unexplainably. He followed her gaze and turned to see Namjoo standing behind them just staring at them. Slapped in the face by the expression he couldn’t read he didn’t know what kind of excuse to make.

§§§§§

The drive home was dead quiet, filled with animosity, and overwhelming tension. Sehun anxiously gripped onto the steering wheel the whole way, his eyes darting toward Namjoo and the road simultaneously. Apologizing only made him appear weak and wouldn’t do very much for him at the moment. Namjoo now knew he had followed her.

How would he make up for it?

As soon as he pulled into the driveway Namjoo first stepped out, her aura flowing with irritation and complete annoyance with him. He followed anxiously, desperate to get on her good side.

“At least talk to me,” he said. He halted abruptly when she stopped in her steps.

Flinging his blazer onto the back of the couch she warned, “Don’t come up.” Turning, she started up the stairs. Disobediently, he went after her. Pausing again, Namjoo twisted around to glare at him.

Completely helpless he stared before trying, “I’m sorry. It’s not…it’s not that I don’t trust you. I just wish…you would talk more with me. Like those businessmen you met today…if you told me…”

“Why is that important?” Namjoo angrily pointed out.

“Ok, you’re right,” he agreed willing to let it go. “Can you not be angry?” nervously looking away then back to her he admitted, “I’m just jealous. I love you, don’t you know?”

Namjoo’s expression went cold then belittled him with a laugh. Sehun stared bewildered.

“Namjoo,” he tried to move up toward her. A thousand nails drilled themselves into his heart upon seeing her so wounded.

“Don’t love me,” Namjoo icily said, “because I don’t think I love you.”

His heart sunk. “Why? You won’t let me comfort you. I can’t even hug or kiss you. What do you want me to do?”

Her stare went flat, her lips turned into a straight line. “Stay away from me.” Turning her back to him she went up the rest of the stairs leaving him there speechless.

The following day he just sat there in his office without completing any of the work in front of him. Chewing on his thumbnail mindlessly all he thought about was the way Namjoo had looked at him the previous night. Always caring, always laughing, and tender-hearted was the person he once knew. After losing their baby he felt like he finally hit his lowest point. Before that whatever insecurities he had, however bad he felt about anything Namjoo made it all right by just being around.

He really missed her.

§§§§§

Namjoo hesitated outside of the practice. A slip of white paper between her hands listed the address and name of the therapist her mom had mentioned. She was nervous. A part of her didn’t want to be here, but the bigger part of her heart wanted her to try. The days were getting longer and each day she was unhappier. She also missed being happy…whatever it meant to be happy was.

Turning her phone on silent she bravely reached for the door and walked in. The office was large, not overly spacious and decorated in a homely fashion. Behind the front counter sat a young woman, a computer in front of her and a dozen files neatly organized by the wall. Walking up to her Namjoo said, “I have an appoint with Dr. Lim Jakyung.”

“Have a seat,” the woman smiled. “I’ll tell her you’re here.”

Nodding, Namjoo walked over to the seating lounge and waited. Her eyes ran over the creamy walls and the dozen magazines spread out with campaigns offering marriage counseling, family counseling, behavioral therapy etc. Digging her nails into her fingers she glanced down at the floor.

“Miss Kim Namjoo?” the woman came back.

Nervously shuffling to her feet Namjoo followed the kind woman into a room no different from a regular office. There was a desk, a shelf of books, and comfortable furniture with a small wooden table in between. A couple cups of tea was warm on the table.

“Good afternoon,” the doctor walked up to her. Shaking her hand she invited warmly, “Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. I hope you’re a tea person because my office lacks good coffee.”

Namjoo smiled and sat down. To calm herself she took a sip of the tea before getting a final look at Dr. Lim Jakyung who was about her mother’s age. She was a fine beauty with properly dyed black hair and dressed eloquently for work.

“Let me start off by introducing myself,” she began, “oh, and you can just call me Jakyung. The doctor part of my name is too formal. I feel it builds a barrier between me and you. I prefer to be friends with everyone. I can tell you that I don’t like church but my family is still loyal Christians. My husband attends service weekly with our eldest daughter. I’ve a big family, you see. Six kids. Oh, they were all trouble. I got married right out of college and had quite a hard time because my father passed away not too long after. I’ve ten grandkids and another one on the way. My eldest daughter just got married, isn’t that great news?”

Namjoo nodded. She felt a bit lost but decided to just go along with the flow.

“Now, why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Dr. Lim suggested. “I can see that you’re a young woman. Probably still in college?”

“I actually…decided to take a semester off.”

The doctor nodded understandingly. “That’s all right.”

Namjoo felt swell up uncontrollably and then tighten. “I don’t know what to say. Sorry.”

“That’s no problem,” the doctor assured. “Take your time. Would you like some tissue?”

“No thanks.”

Silence for a long period of time.

“Actually, can I have some tissues?” Namjoo asked. Smiling warmly, the doctor stood up to get some from behind the desk. When she handed them to Namjoo she finally spoke, admitting, “I lost my baby.” Wiping a quiet tear, “I think my husband cheated on me.”

§§§§§

For the first time in a while, Sehun got home late. He expected that Yunyeong would have dropped Namjoo off, but she was nowhere in the house. He went searching room to room worriedly. He had hoped she was sleeping in the nursery but evidence showed that no one had been there.

Hurrying back downstairs he called Namjoo who didn’t answer her phone. After a few tries he gave up and called Yunyeong instead. The friend answered within a heartbeat.

“Where’s Namjoo?” he asked.

“What do you mean where is she?”

“You didn’t bring her home?” Sehun asked pulling the curtain aside to peer outside. The streets were good as empty. “Namjoo’s not home.”

Silence.

“I thought she went home early,” Yunyeong said confused.

“What do you mean you think?” he interrogated. “Were you not at work?”

“Don’t get angry at me,” Yunyeong warned. “She left early is all I know.”

“And you don’t know where she went?” he asked feeling stressed out more than ever. He turned when the front door opened. Quickly walking out of the living room he spotted Namjoo walking in with a grocery bag. “Never mind.” Hanging up he walked over to her, “Where have you been?” glancing at the bag, “What is that?”

Walking right past him she went into the living room. Setting down the bag she took out a bottle of wine and some champagne glasses. Shrugging out of her jacket she sat down, “I thought we could have a drink.”

His brows burrowed deep into his face. “What are you doing?”

Sehun watched her struggle to open the bottle before handing it to him. “Open it for me.”

He stared at the alcohol. Taking it he opened it with difficulty.

“Thanks,” Namjoo said taking it from him. He was appalled by her strangely. Namjoo hadn’t spoken like that to him in what felt like the longest time. Pouring wine into the glass she asked, “You’re not sitting down?”

He peered at the empty spot beside her. There was also another empty chair adjacent to her but he wanted to be closer, so he took the spot next to her. Namjoo, for the first time, didn’t shift away. Instead, she lifted the glass up to her lips and drank.

“Where have you been?” he wondered. “I mean…other than the store. Yunyeong said you left early today.”

Namjoo drained the cup easily and immediately started pouring herself another cup. “Are you still seeing her?”

She was talking about Seona.

“No.”

After a sip Namjoo twirled the glass between her fingers. “Good.”

“Namjoo…” he tried but she lifted the cup to her lips again and drained it. Namjoo repetitively filled it up again and finished it. After five more cups, she just held the wine glass appearing dazed. He waited.

“I love you is a funny term,” Namjoo began her monologue. “It’s unclear. I love you as friend. I love you as my significant other. I love you like family. I love you like you’re my brother. Or I love you without meaning. Doesn’t it get tiring trying to figure out what people actually mean when they say it?”

He didn’t know. He never thought deeply about it.

“You don’t say it unless you mean it,” he said and he believed he was right.

“Really?” Namjoo doubted then she took another glass and poured herself some more.

“Can you stop?” he asked.

“But it fills me up where I’m empty,” Namjoo told and took a sip. “They say red wine makes you live longer.”

He knew that wasn’t what she was really doing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Can’t we just talk without this?”

***Another turning point next chapter and then we'll have the falling action of the story and then the finale.