§§§§§

“Where’s Namjoo?” Sehun asked at the breakfast table the following morning. Was she still sick? He knew he should have forced her to eat the porridge he brought home. She probably wasn’t eating right or resting enough. He should have warned Lee Chul not to come over and bother her.

“I don’t see her car outside,” her mother said leaning to look out the window by the counter.

 “I heard her heading out this morning,” Namjoo’s father jumped into the conversation.

“Namjoo? This early?” her mother sounded doubtful.

“She did say she had a research paper to do,” her father reminded.

“She should rest a day more,” her mother worried sitting down at the table.

“She’ll probably come back to sleep once she’s done,” Sehun assured.

“Oh, but do you know that nice young man?” her mother leaned forward to ask. “A handsome boy came over yesterday. When he heard Namjoo was sick he went back out to buy food for her. He’s such a gentleman. It looked like he was trying to cheer her up. Do you know him, Sehun?”

“He’s a friend, that’s all,” Sehun said.

“It certainly looks like he likes our Namjoo,” her mother beamed then turned to hit her husband across the arm, “what if he does like our daughter? Oh, I wish she would date him.”

“Would you stop speculating,” her husband said. “Sehun said they’re just friends.”

Sehun roved his eyes over the elder couple then turned to his food. Chul liked Namjoo. He’d probably made it obvious in front of her mother. Sehun knew Namjoo’s mother would like him, but did Namjoo like him? Did she?

§§§§§

Namjoo had gone to class an hour early. While waiting for class to start she sat in the empty pit room by herself, listening to the silence surround her. She left halfway through the class and slept in the library awaking only three hours later with a hungry stomach. After eating lunch at the school cafeteria she shuffled off to her car in the student parking lot where she sat for another half hour. When the lot started filling up she left and drove toward the river where she found a secluded parking lot. There, she sat in the car watching the waves travel endlessly in one direction.

She wished her life was like the water. Traveling in one direction. It should have been like that. If she were to be friends with Sehun for life, it should have remained that way forever. She shouldn’t have developed silly feelings. It shouldn’t have happened. Life should have flowed in one direction like it was meant to. Instead, it had veered and she had stumbled off the tracks. And it felt as if she’d slipped downhill. Now she was trapped in the middle of nowhere. Lonely, pitiful, and sad.

She should have gone straight forward.

Clutching onto the steering wheel she leaned into it, burying her face into her arms.

§§§§§

“What are you thinking about?” Seona broke into his thoughts.

They were having lunch in the commons, just the two of them. Today, Sehun’s head was elsewhere unimaginably. He should be utterly excited, his attention focused on only Hwang Seona, but today it wasn’t like that at all. He was worried.

The Namjoo he knew never woke up early, left before even the breakfast table was set. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day for her. And last night…last night she had closed the door in his face again.

They were off again.

Why?

“I’m worried about Namjoo.”

“Thinking about another girl while with your girlfriend, she’ll get angry.”

His lips dropped apart. He hadn’t realized. “S…sorry.”

Seona smiled and cupped her chin, “I’m kidding. I know you’re friends. What’s wrong?”

“A…are you sure?” Sehun wondered.

“Yes, I want to know. If she’s a good friend of yours, she’s important to me, too.”

Sehun hesitated then said, “I just…it feels like we’re having a fall out.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Sehun said. “It’s just…it feels like she’s being cold to me again.”

“Did you upset her?” Seona wondered.

Sehun put it to thought. With a thoughtful frown he shook his head, “I don’t remember doing anything that would make her angry.”

“Well, a lot of things can set a girl off,” Seona tried.

Was it Lee Chul? He had gone to see her at school. Had it made Namjoo uncomfortable and she hadn’t been able to say it? Had it felt like he’d pressured her into doing what Lee Chul wanted in order not to hurt his feelings because Sehun had told her Chul liked her?

“Is it ok if I leave the club meeting early today?” Sehun asked.

Seona nodded. “Go ahead. You probably won’t be able to concentrate anyway.”

He smiled, grateful. Seona was understanding. He really liked that attribute about her.

As said he left early during the club session and headed straight over to Hanyang University. Upon arriving at the business department he asked around for Namjoo. They gave him varied answers: “She was sleeping in the library,” “I saw her at the cafeteria, but that was in the afternoon,” “She was in class,” “I saw her heading off that way…”

Not helpful, not helpful at all. Sehun prowled through the library with the help of a student who let him in then he searched the parking lots for her car. None of the vehicles were Namjoo’s. He called her several times, but she didn’t answer.

When the sun began giving out he returned to her house. As the cab zipped off behind him he paused at the foot of her house upon recognizing her car in the driveway. So she had come back.

Namjoo’s mother was just gathering dishes off the table and piling them into the sink when he arrived through the door. The childhood friend was nowhere in sight. Turning to Namjoo’s mother for help he asked, “Where is Namjoo?”

“She just went upstairs,” she replied, “if you haven’t had dinner…” but Sehun had already crossed the kitchen toward the stairs. Skipping two at a time allowed him to catch sight of Namjoo’s back at the top.

“Hey,” he called out. “Namjoo.”

He watched her freeze in step, but she didn’t turn around. Catching up to her he paused behind her. “What’s with you? Are you angry at me?”

She didn’t answer which flustered him. How was he supposed to know what was wrong?

“Can you turn around so we can talk?” he asked.

She didn’t quite listen this time either. Half a minute later she slowly turned around and muttered, “What do you want?”

“If I did something wrong, you need to tell me,” Sehun went on. “Didn’t we promise we’d communicate? If you go all quiet like this…”

She cut him off, “I haven’t done anything.”

“Hey…” he started and then realized she hadn’t looked at him at all. Eyes were lowered, gaze on the ground as if he were there. “Namjoo…”

“I’m tired, leave me alone.” Her voice sounded drained.

Before she walked away he apologized, “I’m sorry. If I made you uncomfortable about Lee Chul. If you want me to, I’ll tell him to stop bothering you.”

Her bedroom door clicked shut and he was left standing there without having solved anything.

§§§§§

Locking the door Namjoo leaned against the barrier separating her from the one-sided lover. As she inhaled tears lubricated her eyes. “It’s because of you dummy,” she wanted to say but couldn’t.

Awaking at dawn Namjoo went through her closet and threw on some fresh clothes. Grabbing her backpack, she left the house quietly and drove away from her home. She only had one class today and it was in the afternoon, but she wanted to stay away from home as long as possible. Anything to avoid seeing the glow of pure happiness in Sehun’s eyes.

Stopping at a coffee shop she’d never been to before she sat down and quietly watched traffic flow by. What she didn’t like about herself was how she was right now. This pathetic state she was in. No matter how hard she had tried her filthy heart kept flying back to Sehun. It kept hurting her. She wanted to ask someone why it had to be him. Why Sehun out of the million men in South Korea? Why did she have to dwell over him so hard?

This was really so frustrating.

After class she went right out to the movies instead of heading to the library to do her research paper. After the movies she had a sumptuous dinner at a buffet, hugging a table to herself. She ate for an hour and finally left. Then again, she drove to the Han River and watched the sun go down. When stars began lighting up the vast sky that was when she returned home confident that no one was up.

She was so wrong.

“Where’ve you been?” Sehun rose from where he’d been sitting in the dark living room.

Halting in the doorway Namjoo stared at him. She suddenly had the urge to curse underneath her breath. Quietly closing the door she planned to ignore him and head straight up to bed. She was in no mood to have him poking his face in hers because he felt he needed to. At this point, she was simply irritated.

Those long legs of his made it easy for him to stride over to her. “I was talking to you.”

Namjoo merely planted her eyes on the space before her. It took a matter of seconds to gather her wits to stay put and together before facing him. She would never allow herself to break before him, never. No matter how many times he ripped her heart up she wouldn’t cry in front of him.

“Don’t talk to me like you’re above me,” Namjoo forced herself to look him in the eyes, did her best to look outwardly strong and unaffected by him. “You…” she merely stuttered, “you’re nothing but my friend.”

Her breath shook when she turned. Before her face might break into pain she hurried up the stairs and closed the door to her room. Leaning against the door again Namjoo clamped her eyes shut and covered them with her hand, as if it might help keep the tears at bay.

While doing a short breathing exercise to remain calm she repeated to herself, “You did well. You did well. You’re ok.”

§§§§§

The following day Namjoo was absent at the breakfast table. As he ate quietly he thought about the way Namjoo looked at him in the eyes with contempt. It didn’t make him feel good. Everything about her behavior nowadays bothered him. Where was happy Namjoo? Where was his Namjoo?

That night he didn’t wait for her to come back home. Namjoo gave off the vibe that she wanted to be left alone. If he bothered her now, he wasn’t sure what she would do next. She was starting to become unpredictable. What was happening to their friendship? He missed sharing times with her, laughing at simply nothing, and talking about what didn’t matter.

His eyes fluttered open as he lay in bed when he heard Namjoo come up the stairs. A glance at the clock told him it was nearly 1AM. Where did Namjoo go this late? Who was she with and what was she doing? What was even going on with her anymore?

He’d given up asking to borrow her car for the date with Seona. He’d drive Seona’s car instead. At the breakfast table that morning while telling Namjoo’s mother he wouldn’t be around for the day he heard Namjoo walking down the stairs. He expected her to say something, but she didn’t. Quietly sitting down Namjoo simply ate her meal and was first to finish. After finishing breakfast, he headed up the stairs to brush his teeth and change into the day’s outfit. He turned when his bedroom door opened and found Namjoo standing in the doorway. He found himself hoping she was here to talk to him.

He was wrong.

Without saying a thing, she chucked her keys onto his bed and turned to walk away. The very next second he heard her door close.

He suddenly felt very belittled, but more than that he felt hurt by her.

Why was she like this to him?

§§§§§

No plans for the day meant a long day. Namjoo lie in bed with her phone, hoping to keep her mind distracted. Even so, she inevitably sat up and looked out the window when she heard a car engine outside.

Sehun had taken her car.

He would now be going on his date with Seona, and she was left to feel like crap.

Tossing her phone aside she pulled the blanket over her head. She would just try to go to sleep.

§§§§§

“Hey, careful,” Seona cautioned, leaning over to turn the steering wheel in order to avoid some pedestrians in the parking lot.

Stepping on the brake Sehun released a sigh and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Namjoo’s keychains dangled against each other noisily as he carried them out of her car.

“Are you ok?” Seona wondered from the other side of the car.

“Huh? Oh yea, of course,” he lied.

Seona furrowed her brow then walked over to him, “You’re sure good at lying for a person who didn’t hear a thing I said throughout the ride.”

Guilt flushed through him and he was forced to apologized, “Sorry.”

“So,” she began, “what’s on your mind this time?”

Sehun’s eyes wandered over to the crowded bike trail. He and Namjoo often came here on weekends in high school just to get a breath of fresh air. Whether they were accompanied by their friends or not, they always came out when bored. They’d just bike around the river. Sometimes they would race. Loser would have to buy soda and ice cream. Namjoo busted his several occasions.

“Namjoo?” Seona wondered.

His eyes drifted back to her apologetically. He didn’t want to be thinking of anything else when on his first date, but it wasn’t simple when it came to Namjoo. She wasn’t no one. She was his best friend, and she mattered. It was important to him to have a balance in their relationship. An argument every now and then was fine, but when Namjoo ignored him for too long like this…it just wasn’t right. She had never done this to him before. He wasn’t used to it.

“You know what?” he pulled on a smile. “I’ll deal with my problems later. Lets just do what we came out to do.”

“Sounds like an a-ok plan,” Seona agreed, “but then you probably won’t be 100% on it. Why don’t we skip biking, take a short walk, get some ice cream, and then call it a day?”

“That’s not fair to you,” he said.

“What’s fair for me is when you’re sincerely where I am. Right now you aren’t,” Seona pointed out. Linking her arm around his she pulled him forward, “Lets go.”

And they did just that. They walked, talked, had ice cream, and then called it a day. They merely waved to each other as farewell before he drove back to Namjoo’s house. He was determined to sit her down so they could have a heart-to-heart talk.

“You’re back?” Namjoo’s mother was in the living room watching television.

“Is Namjoo still in her room?” he wondered.

“You’re looking for Namjoo?” her mother asked. “What should we do? You just missed her.”

***Namjoo has Sehun thinking all about her now xDD His effort to call the date short was all for naught because Namjoo has gone somewhere else