§§§§§

None of it made sense, but Sehun wouldn’t let it get to him. Namjoo’s behavior since his return had been off. Sometimes she seemed angry for no apparent reason and other times she was as fine as usual. It had become a difficult challenge trying to figure out what ran through her head these days. Sehun thought he knew her the best…until recently.

Right after classes ended Sehun made his way toward the club room. Taihee, Sungwoo, and some other guys were making a racket. Horsing around seemed to be their way of releasing stress after classes. Sehun didn’t mind, he understood but it got annoying to the point where he wanted to draw a line.

“Sehun!” Sungwoo shouted jumping over to slap him on the back.

“Hey,” Sehun calmly greeted.

“What’s with you?” Sungwoo wondered dragging him over toward the computer area.

“We’re going out tonight for some fried chicken and beer, want in?” Taihee excitedly asked.

“Uh…no,” Sehun declined.

“Aw…come on, man,” another one of them whined. “When do you ever go out?”

“It’s a school night,” Sehun reminded.

“So?”

Remaining patient with them Sehun said, “I don’t want to.”

Tightening his grip around Sehun’s shoulders Sungwoo tried persuading, “It’s just once. We won’t ask you again this semester. Huh? Huh? What do you say?”

Gosh they were such a nuisance. Couldn’t simply take a no from anyone. Sehun opened his mouth to speak but someone interrupted, “Leave him alone, will you? Sehun’s not the same type of guys you are, irresponsible, party-obsessed.”

Seona came into view when he turned around. A smile crept onto his lips.

“All hail the queen,” Taihee joked as they dispersed.

Letting go of him Sungwoo commented, “You’re a little late, Miss Hwang.”

“Calm down, will you,” Seona lightly snapped. As she began announcing tasks to be completed by them Sehun felt mesmerized by her mere presence. Among these prude guys, just a word from her had them falling back on their asses. Queen she was all right.

At the strike of 7PM the guys began leaving the room in groups. Within a matter of seconds Sehun was alone with Seona again. Shyly glancing at her from the papers in hand he happily smiled. He quickly looked away when Seona glanced up from her laptop. His heart pounded wildly. When her attention shifted back to her laptop Sehun snuck another glance her way. He was so relieved the guys had left. Just sharing a space with Seona made him feel all bubbly inside. The aggravating happiness made him want to giggle because of the inability to keep still.

“Lets leave,” Seona said folding her laptop close.

“What?” he glanced up. Disappointment began sinking in. If he saw her one more day later instead of spending a longer hour together it just felt like his time with her was being cut short. Unfair.

“It’s late. I’ll give you a ride home.”

Keeping his mouth closed he set the papers aside and stood up. Lifting his backpack over his shoulder he followed her out of the building. What she’d said to him yesterday about graduating stuck so visibly to his head that he couldn’t think of anything else. He didn’t want her to leave. He still wanted to see her so many more days in the future.

Maybe…she was the one for him.

Sehun knew with his whole heart that he just liked her and only her. If they got closer, what if she liked him too? What if they could become like other lovers, inseparable? He could literally melt at the thought of sharing a future with her.

“S…Seona,” he called out while pausing in step.

“What?” she asked turning around. She appeared clueless. Did she not notice him at all? His feelings and how often he intentionally stayed behind just to be with her? Did she not feel this force of attraction he felt toward her?

Sehun had never confessed before. He was literally breaking out in a cold sweat, but he would rather say something than let it build up in him. He liked her, he really, really, really liked her. And he would like it if they became something. He wanted to be someone special to her.

He needed to let her know, because a future without her was something he couldn’t withstand.

“Am I…” his voice shook but he courageously pressed on, “am I just a kid to you?”

“What?” She sounded confused.

“Taihee, Sungwoo, and the other guys…am I just another one of them to you?”

“Sehun, you’re confusing me. What are you talking about?”

His lips went dry momentarily. Did she not like him the same way?

The drumming of his heart became intense. He couldn’t take this anymore. He might start suffocating very soon if he didn’t say what he intended to. The words flowed out with a deep exhale, “I like you. I really like you!”

Suddenly it felt like he’d just run the mile. Anxiety flushed through him. Ok, he finally said it. Now what? He internally screamed while witnessing her quiet reaction. Seona just stared at him and he couldn’t read her.

This was bad, bad, bad!

Killing the silence he said, “Be my girlfriend.”

Sehun could hear the wind whistling, laughing at him as it passed by. He gulped, felt sweat trickle down his back, and remained standing there like an idiot – well, he felt like an idiot. Someone needed to come by and interrupt them real fast or else he wouldn’t make it the rest of the way home.

He stopped breathing when Seona’s lips broke into that beautiful smile of hers. “I’d like that. Let’s date.”

§§§§§

Seeing Sehun and Seona happily sharing coffee had broken a quarter of her heart. Watching them stand beside each other, look at each other, and solely pay attention to one another had broken another quarter of her heart. That was nearly a half of her heart that had plunged down to her stomach already.

Nothing could compare to this one.

Driving home with Sehun. With that friend, that man who possessed her heart without knowing sitting beside her smiling and happily talking, as if he owned the world while ripping her heart to shreds. Lips had trembled and tears sparkled at the corner of her eyes, but she could not cry. She could not whimper. Could not even dare to make a sound.

“Her smile, you should see her smile. It’s so pretty,” Sehun went on beside her. He’d taken over the wheel claiming he would drive her home since she was tired. “I want to go on a date this weekend. Where do you think we should go? What would Seona like?”

Unable to speak and afraid to let the tears slip, Namjoo turned away and covered her eyes with her hand to make herself look like she needed sleep a.s.a.p.

“Do you think she’d like biking?” Sehun wondered unaware of her. “We always went biking at the Han River. Maybe Seona would like that, too.”

Stop. Please stop, she wanted to say, I don’t want to hear it anymore.

Namjoo jumped out of the car as soon as he turned into her driveway even before he could step on the brakes.

“Namjoo!” she could hear him calling after her, but she was already halfway inside her house and near the foot of the stairs.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t look at him. She wouldn’t congratulate him. She would never be happy for him.

Swinging her bedroom door close she crawled into bed and buried her head under the pillow to muffle her sobs.

Oh Sehun and Hwang Seona.

It hurt, and she was an idiot.

“Namjoo?” Sehun knocked on her door. “Are you ok? Namjoo?”

Gritting her teeth and pulling knees up to her chest she cried even harder. Sehun had chosen someone else even when she’d given him her soul and heart as both a person and friend.

She was so dumb.

§§§§§

Sehun was thrilled. Happy like never before. Waking up early, he showered, and dressed in the best clothes he had. After fixing his hair he headed straight down for breakfast. He wanted to ask Namjoo how he looked, but she wasn’t there.

Pulling his chair out to sit down he asked, “Where’s Namjoo?”

Still setting the table her mother replied, “She’s taking the day off.”

“Why?” he asked glancing at Namjoo’s empty seat beside him. “Is she sick?”

“Let her sleep a little longer,” Namjoo’s father said without answering his question. “She’s been working hard these days; it must have worn her body out.”

Namjoo wasn’t really one to get sick. With that strong attitude and mind of hers she barely fell sick even in the harsh winters. What was wrong with her today?

Sehun headed out after breakfast. He was eager and excited. It would be his and Seona’s first day as an official couple. He couldn’t wait to meet up with her later in the day.

§§§§§

There was no need to get up, face the world, or put effort into anything. Still in the clothes from yesterday Namjoo lay in bed lifeless. She didn’t have the energy to get up. Forget about classes. Forget about being a better person. She didn’t care anymore.

Though her stomach grumbled she didn’t care. Rolling onto her side in order to ignore her hunger she sighed and closed her eyes. Today she wouldn’t do anything.

Closing her eyes, she managed to fall asleep and woke up to a horrid headache. At the back of her head something horribly pounding her skull. A second later she also realized there was someone knocking on her door. She would throw a pillow if it was Sehun. It was her mother.

“Namjoo, wake up and come eat something,” she urged. “Your friend is downstairs. Come down, all right?”

Lifting herself up on an elbow she stared at the door. Friend? She hadn’t called Yunyeong. Who else would visit if not her?

Namjoo debated for a minute before giving in out of curiosity. Her mother would never call Sehun a friend of hers, so she definitely knew it wasn’t him. Heading down in her haggard state she peered into the kitchen at the bottom of the stairs to find Lee Chul seated at the table. He rose to his feet upon hearing her and smiled.

“I came by earlier, I heard you were sick,” Lee Chul explained. “Your mother said you haven’t eaten all morning. I brought some porridge for you.”

Namjoo was touched by his gesture, but she wasn’t sick. He needn’t be here.

“What are you doing? Come sit,” her mother urged. “It was very nice of him.” Turning to Lee Chul she smiled grateful, “Thank you for caring about our Namjoo.” Back to her she urged, “Come sit down.”

He nodded, “It’s no problem at all.” Namjoo stepped over when her mother walked away and joined him at the table listening to him say as she sat down, “I’m not much of a cook, so I stopped at a nearby restaurant. Lets hope it’s still warm.”

She watched him open the container for her. Handing her a spoon he watched anxiously as she scooped up the porridge. Namjoo nodded after taking a bite. “It’s still warm.”

“That’s good,” he breathed a smile.

She wanted to tell him he didn’t even need to come, but she couldn’t say anything. Any company other than Sehun was good at the moment. The thought of him made constrict and her eyes well up.

“You don’t look well,” Chul commented. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she lied forcing another spoonful into . Anything to keep her from crying was ok at the moment. If she had to stuff herself she would do it, if she had to hold her breath she would do it.

“I was thinking we could go for some steak after your classes are done,” he said.

Namjoo would at least try to give a smile, but she couldn’t muster the energy to do it. Instead, she said, “Lets go another time.”

“Yea? Sounds like a good idea, huh?” he cheerfully asked. “Lets hope you get better soon. If you miss one more day of classes you’ll start falling behind.”

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered at the moment.

§§§§§

As usual Sehun went to the art club room after classes. Today, the room was abandoned when he got in. Sehun assumed the others had gone to the auditorium to oversee things for the screening coming up.

Taking a seat by the available chairs he started arranging the musical sheets in alphabetical order.

“You were here?” the door opened and Seona poked her head in. “Everyone’s over at the auditorium. Why aren’t you coming?”

Breaking out into a shy smile Sehun explained, “I thought everyone would make their way back here anyway.”

“Come on over,” she gestured her head toward the hallway. “The guys are having loads of fun on stage. Why don’t you join them?”

Sehun merely thought about it then said, “I like it here better.”

Her eyes sat on him for a few seconds before she stepped in and closed the door after her. His heart rammed against his ribs when she came over and sat down beside him. Every particle of his body grew warm. God, he liked her so much.

“What are you doing?” she leaned over to look at the papers in his hands. Their shoulders brushed and he grew hot neck down.

This was his first time with a girlfriend. How do men stay so unbelievably cool around the woman they liked?

“Oh…yea…”

Seona giggled then repeated, “I said what are you doing.”

“Oh…um…I’m just sorting the sheets.”

“You know there’s no need for that, right?” she asked. “The guys are just going to mess it up again.”

“But it’s something to do…”

Sitting back in her chair she grinned, “You’re cute, Sehun.”

Now she’d done it. His breath cut off and he didn’t know what to do or say. This was so unusual for him. The way she looked at him had him floating on thin air.

“What?” she asked. “Why are you suddenly quiet?”

He was both embarrassed and giddy. What to do next?

“I’m just…happy,” he timidly said. “I don’t know what to do next.”

“Well,” she said remaining utterly cool with him, and he loved how she didn’t shame him for not knowing anything. Linking her arm through his she said, “Couples do things like this.”

His heart fluttered, he was literally flying when she leaned against him. How could one simple gesture be so powerful?

The door abruptly opened and Seona lifted her head up from his shoulder. As the guys came in one by one they let out teasing coos, “Oooh…look at you two! Getting it heated up in here!”

“You’re dating, dating, dating! And you can’t lie this time,” Taihee obnoxiously laughed, jabbing his fingers at them.

§§§§§

There was no reason to head elsewhere after the club meeting. When everyone left Sehun and Seona ordered a pizza which they shared in the club room. He didn’t want to part from her by the end of the night, but he had to head back. When Seona drove up to Namjoo’s house he was reluctant to get out.

“Um…this weekend,” he turned to look at her, “lets go on a date.”

Grinning, she nodded. “That sounds good.”

“Is there anywhere you want to go?” he wondered. Gosh, he wished they could remain in one space like this forever.

“Anywhere with you sounds good.”

“Ok.” That was enough to have him leaping over clouds. “Then, I’ll go now. Drive back safe.”

“Sehun,” she called out when he opened the car door. A kiss landed on his cheek when he turned around. Surprised, he turned to see her broadly smile then wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sehun literally skipped into Namjoo’s house with the bag of porridge in his hands. Namjoo wasn’t up so he headed up the stairs, eager to tell her about what just happened and his plans for the weekend. He wanted to ask her if he could borrow her car because it was embarrassing to have Seona drive him around.

Knocking on her door he waited. The door opened a crack moments later. “I got you some porridge on my way home. Are you feeling better?”

“I don’t want it. Lee Chul already brought me some.” Namjoo’s throat sounded dry and croaky.

“Oh…” he mumbled dejected. “Then I’ll just put it away. And, um…” he felt bad, but he needed to ask, “Can I borrow your car this weekend?”

Without replying, Namjoo closed the door in his face.