§§§§§

It was a mistake. One of the biggest ones he’d made so far.

The clock read 4AM when Sehun woke up groggy-headed. He turned in bed expecting to find Namjoo asleep beside him.

There was no one.

A dim glow lit the room up sleepily. Dark curtains closed shut. His head was spinning and it ached in the kind of way that said he’d had too much to drink. Sitting up with a moan he glanced around the room lost and confused. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten here or why he was even here. Rubbing his head, the first thing he thought of was that Namjoo was waiting for him at home.

The door opened and a woman walked in. “You’re awake?”

Eyes narrowed. He stared before recognizing Seona.

That was right. They’d had dinner at the hotel bar hours earlier. He had drunk one too many glasses.

“I have to go home,” he said getting up with blazer in hand.

Grabbing his arm as he walked by Seona said, “Have some water before you go. You probably don’t feel well.”

“Seona…” he tried but when he looked at her the words died in his mouth. Her eyes were pleading, her expression pained.

“I’ve always wanted to celebrate your birthday with you,” Seona had earlier said during work. “So can’t I just buy you dinner? Wouldn’t that be all right? Please, Sehun?”

He couldn’t forget the misery he put her through by sleeping with another behind her back. It was his fault. He was the source of her pain. He could at least eat dinner with her, he had thought.

Sitting back down on the bed he took the water bottle from her, opened it, and took a gulp. Seona sat down beside him, her presence all too conscious for him. He glanced at her warily.

“I would have woken you earlier, but you were sleeping so soundly,” Seona innocently said. “Did you sleep well? You look like you’re not sleeping well at home.”

He immediately thought about Namjoo sleeping next to him. “I’m fine.” He turned when Seona brushed a hand through his fringe.

“I’m glad you got promoted,” she said. “That means I get to see you more often at work. I hope you stay in your position for a long time. I’m proud of you, Sehun.”

When her fingers slipped against the back of his hand he rose to his feet. “I have to go.”

She looked sad and alone sitting there by herself. God, he felt horrible. Her eyes smiled when she looked up at him, “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow at work?”

“You should go home, Seona,” he told.

“Then lets walk out together,” she stood. He watched her start toward the door. They entered the lone elevator together and she pressed the button for the lobby. “Will you be doing anything this weekend?”

Plans had been undecided. He and Namjoo had talked the previous morning. She had said they’d do something. He wanted to do something with her, he didn’t know what and he didn’t want Seona to know.

“Get back safe,” was all he said before quickly walking out of the elevator when they reached ground floor. Hurrying out toward the lot where he’d left his car he discovered a ticket plastered to his window. Quickly tossing that aside when he got in he drove off.

The lights were out when he got home. Part of him expected to see Namjoo awake and ready to surprise him, but there was no Namjoo and no surprise. The kitchen table was void of food, drinks, and anything else. He had hoped Namjoo would have left cake behind for him, and it would have been ok if she’d eaten a little without him. There was nothing.

Heading upstairs he opened the door to their bedroom. It was dark. Namjoo was asleep. She worked early in the morning and always slept at a routine time. Of course she wouldn’t be able to wait for him. Walking over he quietly peered over her sleeping figure and reached out to adjust the pillow and fixated her head so she wouldn’t wake with a sore neck. Pulling the blanket firmly over her he quietly reached for his pajamas and headed in for a shower. Namjoo was still deep in sleep when he crept into bed beside her.

§§§§§

“You’re awake early,” Sehun greeted when he walked into the kitchen to find Namjoo setting the table.

“Oh…” she glanced at him then away, “yea.”

Awkward silence grew. He asked hopefully, “No cake?”

“What?” she looked up again.

“I mean,” he tried, “you didn’t get me a cake.”

“I forgot about it,” Namjoo said. “I was too tired when I got home, so I just went to sleep.”

“Oh…” he mumbled disappointed. With a smile he said, “Lets have dinner this weekend. See a movie and all that stuff. It’s my birthday, so you can’t hop out.”

“I know,” Namjoo smiled and he felt assured. Everything was ok.

§§§§§

Her heart was hanging low that morning. As Namjoo sat in her car outside work that morning she kept thinking about how she’d gone out to throw out the cake and food she’d made for Sehun yesterday. She didn’t want to look like a fool, so she had rid of it. If she was the only one excited, it would mean she was the only one hopeful and she didn’t want to look desperate. It would worsen everything since she was married, and because she was married she didn’t want to look bad.

Yesterday, Sehun had been somewhere else. She realized it, but she didn’t want to mention it or confront him. She didn’t want to ruin the balance of peace between them nor did she want to go back on her word that she believed in him. She did, she believed him…but she still doubted him.

That made her an awful person. A bad wife.

Namjoo couldn’t stand herself.

A knock on her window surprised her. Stepping out of the car Namjoo greeted with a smile, “Sorry, I was about to come in.”

“It’s all right,” Nayoung said. “You look like you were thinking about something.”

Shaking her head, she lied, “It’s nothing. Just household stuff.”

“It must be difficult being a newlywed,” Nayoung sympathized. “Oh, I remember those days. I wish I could go back. I feel like my husband loved me more then.” She playfully nudged Namjoo and they broke into laughter, but Namjoo wasn’t really laughing. She was worried.

Throughout the entire day Namjoo’s concentration went back and forth like the wind. There was so much going on inside her head. The worry for Sehun, his work, his classes, his graduation. The issue with his no-show yesterday. Seona. And her pregnancy. It felt like the world’s weight was piling up on her shoulders.

“Coffee?” Yunyeong joined her outback in the small garden Nayoung had planted behind the building. A bed of beautiful red roses had sprouted successfully that spring. Tulips were the majority of the population outback, but it was still a lovely sight to look at. Later in the summer Nayoung had plans to hire a professional gardener to fix up the garden.

“Oh, I forgot. You might be pregnant,” Yunyeong said. “Can you still have coffee?”

Namjoo smiled lightheartedly. It quickly disappeared a second later. Fiddling with the fingers on her lap she said, “I am pregnant.”

The friend gasped. Sitting down beside her Yunyeong set aside the cans of coffee she had. She shrieked, “Oh my god! Are you?! Really?! Congratulations!” Joy emanated through Namjoo as her friend squeezed her with a hug. Playfully hitting her Yunyeong scolded, “You should have said something earlier!”

“I was thinking about it,” Namjoo quietly said.

“What do you mean? It’s not something to think about,” her friend scolded. “Why are you sitting out here all gloomily? Don’t tell me Sehun’s not happy? Oh, I’ll kill him.”

Namjoo shortly laughed. “I haven’t…told him.”

“What?” Yunyeong sounded shocked then exclaimed, “Why?!”

Namjoo naively smiled. She didn’t want to say something that would make him look bad. Sehun had no clue after all, so how could he be blamed?

“I just haven’t found the time to tell him,” Namjoo excused. “You know, he got promoted at work, so he’s really busy.”

“He can’t be busy enough for his family,” Yunyeong narrowed her eyes disapprovingly. “Come on, you’re his wife. What’s more important than that?”

Namjoo pulled on a bigger smile, “Sehun’s graduating soon. Classes start in a month. He has a lot going on.”

“So?” Yunyeong said which left Namjoo flabbergasted. She wasn’t sure what to say next. “Stop making excuses for him. He needs to know. This baby is his. Tell him, Namjoo. This is big and important news.”

That evening Namjoo watched Sehun run from the counter to the stove. When she got home the counters were filled with grocery bags. He had adamantly ordered her to sit and announced that he would be the cook of the house tonight. If she lifted a finger, he warned, he’d be sure to cut it off.

She couldn’t understand why he was being like this. There was no particular event except for his birthday, but they were celebrating that tomorrow. If he felt bad for his no-show yesterday, Namjoo would rather he not remind her of it. He was just unintentionally rubbing it in.

When he had the table set Namjoo could only stare at the delicacies on the table. They were appetizing, but she couldn’t find the will to swallow them. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to eat, it was just that wasn’t in the mood.

“Is it not good?” Sehun wondered and tasted a spoonful of the food. “It tastes all right. Eat this and this.” She watched him place food onto her plate then glanced up at him. His eyes were bright tonight. Was there something to be happy about that she didn’t know of? Or did something good happen to him at work she wasn’t aware of?

Biting down on her teeth Namjoo reached for her glass of water. Setting it back down she glanced at Sehun again and recalled Yunyeong’s words. She was 100% right. This baby was Sehun’s and he needed to know about it.

“Sehun…I…” she began but became overwhelmed with anxiety. He watched her expectantly. Namjoo saw before her a hardworking man with a bright future ahead of him. The workload on his shoulder he never despaired about and the husband who had gone missing on the night of his birthday…

Oh Sehun had so much going for him and she had tied him down with her. She was forever grateful, but all these perplexing thoughts were too much for her. It didn’t feel right breaking this news of pregnancy to him right now.

“Never mind. It’s nothing,” Namjoo smiled. Picking up the spoon in hand she stuck some food into and forced herself to muse, “It’s delicious.”

She rushed upstairs after Sehun said he’d do dishes and spent the next five minutes throwing up in the bathroom. The rest of the night she lay in bed unable to sleep.

§§§§§

Sehun was excited from the moment he woke up to the moment he walked out the door with Namjoo. Today was going to be a great day. They were going to spend every hour and every second together.

Arriving early at the movies he bought their tickets and bought popcorn and drinks. He cheerfully led them to their seats exclaiming how he was excited for the movie. All throughout the two-hour long movie Namjoo sat there quietly without touching their popcorn or drinks. She always gobbled down the snacks five minutes into the movie.

“That was a really nice movie,” he commented when they walked out. “What did you think about it?”

Namjoo was strangely aloof today. Giving him a quick glance she replied with a fake tone of excitement, “I thought it was really good, too.”

He slowed down as she hurried toward the doors. Something pounded his instincts, but he didn’t want to think something was wrong. He didn’t want to ruin today for either of them by making a point of something petty.

He should have known better…

Hurrying after her he slipped his hand through hers. “Want to go to a café?”

“I don’t want coffee,” Namjoo said.

“Then,” he tried, “do you want to have an early lunch? We could stop by the restaurant early.”

“We can do that.”

Nothing went as planned. The restaurant was at full capacity when they arrived. They ended up waiting nearly 15 minutes before landing a table. By then, Namjoo’s expression wasn’t any cheerier than when she was at the movies.

“Number 13 looks good,” he tried to brighten up the mood. When he received no reply he glanced up to find Namjoo frowning at the menu. “What do you want?”

Shaking her head, she set the menu down. “I don’t want anything. Just order me some tea.”

“You’re not going to eat?” he asked baffled.

“I said I don’t want anything,” Namjoo spoke in a stricter tone.

“I’ll order you something,” he offered. Today, he would pay for everything. He was determined. “Do you want soup? If not that, meat?”

“I said I don’t want anything!” Namjoo raised her tone, her eyes stern, expression unhappy. He stared at her both confused and taken aback. Namjoo hadn’t once shown her anger to him in public. Today, he didn’t understand her at all.

“I want to go home,” Namjoo said. She was like a child throwing a tantrum. Her behavior…wasn’t like the doting wife at all.

“What can I get for you today?” the waiter asked coming up to their table.

Sehun was left feeling embarrassed and hopeless. Namjoo looked upset for apparently no reason. There was no longer any point in enjoying a romantic lunch. “Um…sorry, but we’re going to leave.”

On the drive home Namjoo remained very silent with eyes out the window. He didn’t want to ask her any questions in case he worsened the already bad mood. Once they arrived home Namjoo immediately went upstairs. Alone and dejected, Sehun watched TV for several hours before heading upstairs to find Namjoo lying in bed quietly watching something off her phone. She had changed into her pajamas and didn’t shoot him a glance.

“Do you want something to eat?” he asked. “I’ll go out and buy it for you.”

“I don’t want anything,” Namjoo replied.

“Then…” he started, “lets at least have a cake together. I’ll go out and get something.”

Namjoo made no remark. Ending up leaving the house quietly, Sehun drove off to a bakery. On the occasions of Namjoo’s birthday when she was younger, he always bought her cakes from this particular shop. It was meaningful to him. An air of freshly baked goods shot up his nose the moment he walked in through the door. It took him several minutes of debate before deciding on a pretty cake for Namjoo rather than for him. Right afterward he headed off to the mart to buy some wine and maybe tonight he’d cook some steak. Namjoo loved meat.

“Sehun!” he turned at the meat section and recognized Yunyeong walking toward him. “Look at who’s grocery shopping. What a sight.”

“It’s more of a surprise seeing you food shopping,” Sehun commented.

Looking around the high school friend wondered, “Where’s Namjoo?”

“She’s at home.” Sehun answered then caught Yunyeong peering into his shopping cart. A little lost he followed her eyes to look at the bottle of red wine, bouquet of flowers, and chocolates. “What?”

“Hey, are you really getting that?” Yunyeong looked at him judgementally.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” after asking Yunyeong shoved him slightly.

“Are you stupid?” she questioned.

“What?” he asked even more confused.

“Throw that wine out,” Yunyeong demanded. “Namjoo can’t have alcohol right now. Are you that dumb?”

Sehun’s eyes shot toward the bottle of wine. “What are you talking about? It’s my birthday, why can’t I celebrate?”

Yunyeong gave him a look that made him feel like the dumbest fool who’d just spoken. “She’s pregnant, you jerk.”

His brow twitched. All of a sudden Namjoo’s pickiness and the many times she’d been irritated for completely no reason hit him like a bat to the stomach.

“Namjoo’s…pregnant?”

***it's his first kid and the first time around he has to find out from someone else :( that's just sad, sad, sad. worse for Namjoo because she has no idea where Sehun was the night of his birthday and he didn't go around explaining it. It's going to come back and hit him hard later