Chapter 20 

( SINCE WHEN DID I WRITE 20 CHAPTERS THIS IS INSANE ) 

Please don’t hate me for not writing, I have my reasons…

I love you, Minhyuk

Hyungwon wanted to scream…

How dared he, how dared he write after two years huh? Two ing years? Two years without him responding, and then just a small but so meaningful letter, expecting Hyungwon to be okay? 

Bull. 

He were on his knees next to the door, breathing heavily. 

He felt the panic rising in his gut, and he just wanted to disappear. But, before Hyungwon could disappear he had to call Wonho to say he’d be late for work. 

He picked his phone from his pocket, finding Wonhoe in his contacts. 

Seconds later a familiar voice picked up ”Hello?”

”Yeah…” Hyungwon breathed ”Um… I might be late today.. I.. I just”

”Hyungwon, what’s wrong?”

”Umm.. I- I don’t”

”Where are you?” Wonho knew what this was, he had seen it before, when they still were together. Pure and aggressive panic. 

”I am at home…” Hyungwon managed to get those words out, stumbling over to the couch, the letter still in his hand. 

Wonho made a u-turn, driving away from the studio and towards Hyungwons house. 

”I’ll be there in 5” Wonho muttered, cutting the call. 

He parked in the guest parking lot, half jogging up the stairs.

Wonho made a guess that the door was unlocked, pushing it open ”Hello?”

No answer.

”Hyungwon?”

Wonho made his way through the apartment, finding Hyungwon on the couch. The younger was breathing heavily, arms clutched around his stomach, his left hand holding a paper. It couldn’t be, could it?

”Hi, calm down…” Wonho said, putting his bag down before taking Hyungwon in his arms. 

Wonho had always done the same thing when Hyungwon was panicking, and he didn’t even care if Hyungwon still was comfortable doing it, he just did. 

He forced Hyungwons arms above his head by putting his arms underneath Hyungwons armpits, helping him breath by getting his arms out of the way.  

”Hyungwon, tell me 5 things you can see” He said, and there was a long pause before he heard a weak voice ”The window, the couch, my shoes, the kitchen and the Tv-remote…” 

Deep breath. 

”Now, tell me 5 things you physically feel?”

”You, fabric, your breath, my heart and… I don’t know…” Hyungwon had calmed a bit and 

Deep breath.

Wonho continued. 

”5 things you feel mentally?”

”Pain”

Wonho sighed, it was no idea arguing with him. 

Deep breath.

”Tell me 5 things you like?”

”Poetry, the studio…” 

”Oh that is good things…” Wonho mumbled assuringly, resting his head on Hyungwons. 

”Yeah… Um…” Hyungwon was almost breathing normally again ”Smoking, the smell of citrus… The smell of citrus reminds me of Minhyuk”

”Was he the reason this is happening?” Wonho asked, letting go of Hyungwon, facing the younger. Wonho gently wiped a tear from Hyungwons cheek, the other flinching a little at the intimate action. 

He gave the letter to Wonho, the older reading through it quickly. 

”That idiot…” He muttered, throwing the letter on the couch ”Why is he doing this to you huh? How heartless can he be? Barely talking to you for two years and then bam, send this?”

”I don’t know…” Was all Hyungwon could answer, numb. 

”I saw the two of you maybe… Two and a half years ago… You were so happy, it makes no sense why Minhyuk would do this to you?” Wonho was confused but angry, ready to kick Minhyuks if he ever sat his foot in Korea again. He looked over at Hyungwon, who seemed deep in thought once again.

”Take the day off today, Hyungwon, you need it” He rose to his feet but didn’t go far because slender fingers had an iron grip around his wrist.

”But what about-”
”The interviews? Me and Jimin will manage, might just call Hoseok too” Wonho said ”We’ll be okay without you” 

”You sure?”

”Never have I been this sure” Wonho smiled, winking at Hyungwon. 

800, USA

Minhyuk didn’t know what he had expected. 

Maybe sending that letter to Hyungwon was a mistake. He didn’t know.

Jun woke h