Junhong was standing in a graveyard, staring down at the smooth gray stone in front of him.

Kim Himchan

April 19, 1990 - May 20, 2011 

“Don't be sad and don't give up on your dreams. Dreams will come true one day. There's no person as beautiful as a person who dreams.”

He knelt down and placed a flower in front of the gravestone and took a shaky breath.

Things had changed so much in his life, but he had learned to treasure every moment. From the time with his brother, to the time with the gang, and the final court decision to find him not guilty. He was still going through therapy and psychiatric treatment, but he’d been deemed as not a danger and had been allowed to live outside the hospital.

Yongguk had taken him in, which Junhong would be eternally grateful for. He’d come to the trial as well, and had brought some others with him. Himchan's old friends, and Jung Daehyun. After he’d been found not guilty, everyone had cried. Yonghwa had given him an old journal that he told Junhong Himchan had left in his room a couple days before he had died.

It had been sad for him to read the journal, but at the same time it had made him almost deliriously happy. He had learned how much Himchan had missed their parents, and how much he had needed the friends he had. He had read along, seeing Himchan falling in and out of love with Min Hyorin and had sobbed as he realized the final entries were about how much Himchan loved him and how he was worried that Hyorin might do something horrible.

He hadn't been able to find a job that would hire him when he’d first gotten out, but Ms. Jung had graciously allowed him to start helping at the orphanage where he’d once lived. He would clean there, when the kids were gone at school. When he wasn't working, he’d started dancing again. It felt nice, being able to dance instead of fight. He would go downtown and perform, and he’d even befriended another street performer named Moon Jongup. Jongup was nice, talented, and didn't judge him for his past. Exactly the kind of friend that Junhong needed. He still used Zelo as a sort of stage name, when performing, so that watchers wouldn't know who he was.

Once in awhile, he’d see Zico, or Taewoon, or Sanha, or one of the other gang members while he performed. They would smile from the crowd and he’d smile back, acknowledging them, glad they were safe. He’d talk to one of them someday. He still had questions he wanted to ask them and things he wanted to tell them. Like how he was grateful to them, or that he was sorry he caused them so much stress.

Min Hyorin had lived, and Junhong was grateful for that. He still knew that she had meant to do it, and he knew that her attitude was a pity act. He was told she had moved away, to some other part of the country. He would never forgive nor forget her and what she did, but he had learned to live with it. He still hated her but he knew that she would have to live with what she’d done and with the fact she had nearly driven a young boy insane.

Daehyun would visit him often, talking about his life and asking Junhong how he was. It helped a lot, having someone who was so intent on leaving the past behind. He learned that Soonkyung hadn’t been lying about Daehyun having a boyfriend. The boy, Youngjae, had become another constant figure in his life. He reminded Junhong a bit of Himchan- a passionate law student with an attitude and a fierce protectiveness of those he cares about. 

And then there was Yongguk. He had been so very patient with Junhong, and so gentle. He had given Junhong the time and means to start healing, and to learn to deal with what had happened in a non destructive way. He’d signed Junhong up for online classes, so that he could get the schooling he had missed and could learn without consistent bullying. 

He’d introduced Junhong to his siblings- Yongnam, a p.e teacher who was very much like Yongguk both in face and actions, and Natasha, a tattoo artist who basically embodied the ‘mother bear’ archetype. They had both also become sort of sibling figures to Junhong and had accepted him without any trouble. 

Learning to live was still hard. Some days, he still had breakdowns, crying and yelling, but he would calm down and apologize for whatever hurtful things he’d said. Yongguk, usually the one to witness these episodes, never held them against him, a fact Junhong was eternally grateful for. The breakdowns happened less these days, as he rarely felt like he was always on the edge of explosion anymore. At the same time, he didn't feel the calm he had for that time before he had seen Hyorin again. He felt normal again, like how he had before Himchan’s death, but less innocent. It was still a struggle, every day, and he still sometimes woke up screaming for his brother. But now he knew that he wasn't alone and that there were a number of people there for him.

“You okay?” Yongguk asked softly, behind him. “You’re crying.” Junhong touched his face and felt the tears streaming down his face. He hadn't even realized.

“I miss him.” Junhong whispered. Yongguk nodded.

“I know, sweetie. You always will.” 

“I know. It's just…” He shook his head. “I don't know how to explain. Everything that's happened, it's all just so…”

“It's okay. You don't have to worry about explaining. I get it.”

“Thank you, hyung.” Yongguk wrapped his arms around the tall boy and kissed his cheek. “Honestly.”

“You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad that I found you.”

“I'm glad you found me, too.” He lowered his head into Yongguk’s shoulder and cried.

But even though his eyes were filled with tears, even though Himchan was still dead, even though he never he could never fully recover, he had a feeling that he had never thought he’d have again.

Everything is gonna be okay.

A/N Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic. I'm so, so grateful to you. I've read all of the comments and everytime I see a new subscriber it makes me so happy. Finishing this is so bittersweet, and I hope you all have enjoyed reading. Thank you!