Chapter 14.

Don't you know that it's only fear? I wouldn't worry, you have all your life. I've heard it takes some time to get it right.

Yuta and Taeyong was half-way across the camp, just passing the small fire place when Doyoung came running with Johnny right in his heels and Ten and Kun walked together, talking casually while Johnny managed to place a kick to Doyoung’s and the guy tripped and fell. The two were fighting but it didn’t seem too terrible at the moment. Soohyun and Jongsuk sped past Hansol and Jaehyun to get to the two.

  “Alright! Captains! Stop!” Jongsuk yelled and Soohyun wrapped his arms around Johnny’s torso and struggled with pulling him back. Jongsuk placed himself on top of Doyoung who were hissing curses at Johnny.

Ten and Kun greeted Hansol and Jaehyun with a smile. “We managed.” Ten said and Jaehyun chuckled. Hansol gave them a smile and a small wave before hurrying over to help Soohyun with Johnny.

  “This !” Johnny exclaimed and tried to get to Doyoung again.

Ten and Kun looked at Jaehyun with flickering eyes and Jaehyun sighed when he knew it was about him. Yuta and Taeyong watched the fight and Ten looked over at them.

  “Did you and Taeyong fight?” He asked because of Taeyong using Yuta as support. Jaehyun looked up, feeling a bit offended by that.

  “No, actually we fell into a hole and experienced another near death situation. Thought I’d had to die with him for real.” Jaehyun groaned and Ten and Kun gaped at him.

  “You WHAT?” They exclaimed in unison.

Jaehyun shook his head. “I fell first and he went after me and fell too. Hansol managed to get us out after some time, but we have decided to try to become friends.” He explained and waved at Taeyong when the other waved to him before Yuta and he continued towards the hut East.

  “Friends.” Ten repeated while saying goodbye to Kun who ran over to Yuta and Taeyong.

Jaehyun nodded and Ten gave him a look that Jaehyun avoided.

  “Has he explained yet?” He asked and the two of them noticed Johnny finally get up and walk towards their hut.

Jaehyun shook his head. “Not yet.”

  “Jaehyun.” Ten said and Jaehyun ignored the tone in the other’s voice.

  “I’d rather have us being friendly than enemies, because now I think he will really give me an explanation. One that I can understand.” Jaehyun said and looked at Ten.

Ten shook his head in confusion. He didn’t say anything, but Jaehyun knew he didn’t trust Taeyong. Jaehyun wouldn’t say he trusted Taeyong either, still he was tired of pushing someone whom he wanted away. His heart belonged to Taeyong, even if he didn’t want it to.

Johnny, Ten and Mark were gathered in Jaehyun’s, Mark’s and Ten’s room, Hansol also came in and dropped down beside Mark and Jaehyun leaned back against the wooden wall.

  “So what happened?” Johnny asked he had only heard a bit from Ten. Jaehyun who sat beside Mark on Mark’s bed wondered where to begin.

  “I fell into a cave...” Jaehyun started and Johnny gawped.

  “What?”

  “…With Taeyong.” Jaehyun added and Johnny turned his gaze to Hansol.

  “Didn’t I put you on the team to protect Jaehyun from that bastard?” He asked and Hansol raised his hands in defense.

  “Sorry man,” he said and Jaehyun sat up straight.

  “Don’t blame him, we actually had a nice time in our group.” He said and then he began explaining how their day had went, but he didn’t tell about Taeyong panicking and him kissing the other to calm him down, but instead told about their conversation. Ten’s eyes still looked suspicious as he watched Jaehyun, his hands playing with Johnny’s fingers. Johnny looked at Hansol to back up the story and Hansol nodded.

  “He was actually quite cool. He didn’t try anything with Jaehyun, he didn’t say anything cruel. They worked together and put aside their arguments which I think is really professional, the only thing that made me wonder was when Jaehyun fell, Taeyong didn’t hesitate and went after him.” Hansol said and titled his head. “This really speaks against his actions at the party.”

  “He didn’t fight Jaehyun at the party either.” Ten suddenly said and it made everyone sit in silence and wonder about whom Taeyong wanted to be and if he really wasn’t bad.

  “But he still went along with the back mail.”

  “Yeah he could’ve done something about that.”

  “That can’t be forgiven.”

Still the group decided not to fight the other anymore. They respected Jaehyun’s choice to start a friendship, rather than torturing himself with hating someone he actually liked. Jaehyun couldn’t have wished for better friends.

Before dinner Soohyun came up and asked for Jaehyun to go get water. Jaehyun knew a lot of the boys would take a bath after a long day of sweating through their clothes. So he went three times. The third time he carried the two buckets of water he decided to take another way around the North hut and nearly walked into a place he shouldn’t be.

He stepped back, out of sight from two people who were arguing. Nobody was outside because they were eating and Jaehyun took himself in staying and listening; because the ones who were arguing were none other than Taeyong and Yuta.

And they were arguing about him.

Yuta was sobbing hard, sitting against the wall curled into a small ball and Taeyong was standing over him, he had looked very angry. Jaehyun had walked into the middle of a conversation and he listened with wide eyes, stepping forward and watching the two.

  “Taeyong, you seemed so interested in Jaehyun I couldn’t take it.” Yuta cried and Taeyong’s eyes widened, his hands were balled into fists.

  “So you told me to think of my reputation and the way my parents would react to it. And on the same time ruining the chance I had with Jaehyun? You ruined everything and made me seem like the biggest idiot of all time, plus, I was this close, (Taeyong raised his hand and his fingers showed a very narrow distance between his thumb and index finger.) at getting beat to death if you had revealed that photo!” Taeyong was fuming, and Yuta was covering his head while sobbing.

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I would never have showed the picture to anyone!”

Taeyong laughed. “Johnny, Hansol, Ten and Jaehyun saw them. Doyoung too.”

Yuta looked up. “But Ten and Johnny are together too.”

  “You didn’t take pictures of them did you?”

Yuta shook his head. “I didn’t!”

Taeyong inhaled deeply and then held his breath. He looked like he was calming himself down before he exploded again. “WHO THE TELLS SOMEONE THAT BEING HOMOUAL IS A SIN WHEN HE’S GAY TOO?!”

Yuta flinched and Taeyong raised his arm threateningly. “I’m sorry.” Yuta cried and Taeyong kicked the wall with each kick he spoke a word.

  “How. Can. I. Ever. Tell this to Jaehyun?!”

Yuta whimpered.

Taeyong gripped the front of the other’s shirt, heaving him up. “I like him. Okay?” He said in a low voice. “And I hate you.” He spat and dropped Yuta to the ground before leaving the spot.

Jaehyun dropped the buckets of water that he was carrying and Yuta looked up with wide eyes.

  “Ja-Jaehyun…”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes upon Yuta. “You…”

  “Ja-Jaehyun please, I like you, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you when I did this I’m-”

Yuta was silenced when Jaehyun had stormed forwards, carrying one bucket in his hands which he emptied on Yuta. Yuta gasped as the cold water drenched him. Jaehyun wanted to punch at Yuta until his own hands bled, but he couldn’t stoop so low. Instead he threw the bucket down on Yuta’s head and went back for the other one. He poured what was left in it over Yuta who was silently crying.

  “Delete the pictures.” Jaehyun demanded and Yuta gripped onto the bucket but he didn’t remove it.

  “Taeyong made me do it.”

  “You really like him?” Jaehyun asked incredulously.

The bucket nodded. Jaehyun noticed a red drop fall to Yuta’s shirt.

  “Who would do that to the one they liked?” He asked. “Threatening with telling his parents? Do you know how horrible they are to him?”

  “Don’t they just hit him when he does something wrong? He’s perfect he doesn’t do-”

  “You don’t know , Yuta!” Jaehyun hissed and Yuta tugged the bucket lower on his head in shame.

  “I’m sorry…”

Jaehyun stared at the other. “Apology not accepted.” He then said as final before storming towards his hut. He needed time to be alone, too much had happened that day. Too much. Now he knew it all and it wasn’t like he had thought it would be. Not at all. He hadn’t known a thing.

Jaehyun stormed past his team mates who were eating dinner and everyone marveled at him as he ran up the stairs. This time he wasn’t crying, no he was pissed.

Mark stood and followed, Ten and Johnny were late for dinner so he took it on him to figure out was wrong with Jaehyun now.

Jaehyun vanished into his room and slammed the door shut. Mark jumped back and then slowly went forward, knocking on the door. “Jaehyun? Are you okay?” Mark pulled in the handle but the door didn’t budge. He frowned. What the hell had happened to the other?

Mark continued to knock on the door. “Jaehyun! Why did you lock the door?” He asked and waited for an answer.

Jaehyun couldn’t find his voice though because Taeyong was sitting on Mark’s bed, dark eyes looking at Jaehyun and hands folded in his lap.

  “Jaehyun?” Mark called voice sounding worried.

Taeyong stood and walked towards Jaehyun who pressed himself against the door. Taeyong looked up at him before gripping onto Jaehyun’s belt and pulling down so that Jaehyun bent down in his knees and their faces were on the same level.

  “You know. Don’t you?” Taeyong asked and Jaehyun faintly heard Mark groan outside the door.

Jaehyun slowly nodded. He wondered how Taeyong had gotten in without any of his teammates noticing him. Taeyong was holding his breath but he exhaled deeply when Jaehyun nodded. His hands gripped onto Jaehyun’s shirt. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t find the right words.

  “You liked me?” Jaehyun decided to speak first and Taeyong looked up.

  “Yes I like you.” He corrected Jaehyun by using present tense and Jaehyun couldn’t breathe. It was too good to be true, this was just another joke; this wasn’t real.

  “I’m sorry.” Jaehyun said and unlocked the door and Mark barged inside making Jaehyun stumble forward and Taeyong caught him. Mark stood with wide eyes when Jaehyun straightened himself and Taeyong looked flustered because he was in hostile territory.

  “What is he doing here?” He asked in English, probably too shocked to know that he wasn’t speaking Korean.

Jaehyun shrugged. “I don’t know.” He said and Taeyong frowned and stepped a little forward to make his expression visible to Jaehyun. The taller looked away while biting his lip. “Why are you here Taeyong?” He asked and Mark and Jaehyun stared at the other.

Taeyong clenched his jaw, looking reluctant to say it. “Because I like you.” He then said and Mark’s jaw dropped.

Jaehyun blinked. “It’s true?” He asked. “You’re not lying.”

Taeyong looked frustrated. “Why would I-“ Taeyong stopped himself. “No I’m not lying.” He said and looked into Jaehyun’s eyes and the other felt his heart skip a beat. Taeyong said it in front of Mark. Then this wasn’t another joke. Taeyong was being honest.

Mark looked at Jaehyun. “I’m gonna get Ten and Johnny.” He said and Taeyong reached out to stop the younger but Mark had already left the room.

The two stood in silence. Taeyong sighed. “I understand.” He said and Jaehyun looked at him. “You don’t trust me.”

  “How could I?” Jaehyun asked and Taeyong nodded and stepped closer. Jaehyun held his breath when Taeyong’s fingers slipped into his palm, holding his hand in a soft grip.

  “My parents...” He said, looking down. “They would never accept me.”

  “I would.” Jaehyun said and cleared his throat, it sounded thick as if he was on the verge of crying. That wouldn’t be a lie though.

Taeyong pressed his lips into a thin line, big eyes glistening. “I’m so sorry.” He said again and Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself. He stepped closer, cupping Taeyong’s face with his free hand and then pressing his lips to Taeyong’s forehead. He stepped back again and Taeyong smiled and wiped his cheeks. “Thank you.”

Ten and Johnny barged in. “YOU!” Ten shrieked and made an attempt to kick Taeyong but Mark held the other back.

  “Wait!” He yelled. “Let him explain!”

Johnny’s eyes were staring at Taeyong and Jaehyun’s locked hands. “You’re holding hands.”

Jaehyun stepped in front of Taeyong, shielding him. “Want to know why I drenched Yuta and gave him nosebleed?”

  “You did what?” Taeyong asked, but the others didn’t listen to him.

Mark and Johnny nodded eagerly while Ten frowned, eyes looking down at Jaehyun’s hand that were held by Taeyong’s. “Do tell.” Johnny said and Jaehyun looked at Taeyong for help.

  “Yuta blackmailed me.” He said and Johnny lifted a finger.

  “Wait I thought your team blackmailed Jaehyun.”

Taeyong grimaced. “Sorry about that.” (“Not forgiven.” Mark stated.) “I… like Jaehyun.” Taeyong then said and it sounded as if he still had to push the words out. “But Yuta told me that being gay was gross and that my parents would be disappointed in me if they found out. I knew that meant that my father would literally kill me, so I felt conflicted.”

  “So you decided to make Jaehyun a fool and play with his feelings?” Johnny suggested and Taeyong glared at the taller.

  “I decided to go for friendship instead.” Taeyong said. “But I couldn’t hold back my feelings and I kissed Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun wanted to let go of Taeyong’s hand because he felt embarrassed and he was blushing like crazy.

  “Yuta… took a picture of us and I wasn’t really brought into the whole thing before well… before Johnny beat me up.”

  “Oh man.” Johnny gasped.

Jaehyun frowned. “But why did you say… say that.” He said in a small voice. The others almost didn’t catch it.

Taeyong bit his lip. “Because I couldn’t admit it myself and I wanted to just use being drunk as an excuse.”

  “Being drunk is never an excuse.” Jaehyun said with a small smile and Taeyong nodded.

  “Yeah you broke my nose.” He chuckled and Jaehyun’s eyes widened.

  “I’m sorry.”

Mark gagged. “If I just as much as see one more couple I’m going to be sick and die.” He said and then turned towards Ten and Johnny who were gauging at the boys. “Now let’s leave them alone, at least have some decency and let them talk.” He said while pushing Ten first who bumped into Johnny who then stumbled into the hall. Mark turned his head and flashed Jaehyun and Taeyong a smile. “Take all the time you need.” He said and then fought Ten who was struggling against Mark. “I’ll make sure these two don’t stay and listen to your conversation.” Mark said and closed the door with one last wave. “Don’t touch my bed.” He added and Jaehyun blushed furiously.

  “Mark you little…” He muttered and went over to lock the door.

Taeyong had turned around to face the beds, he pointed to them with a lost expression. “Which one is Mark’s bed.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “That one.” He pointed to the one Taeyong had been sitting on. Taeyong pointed to the other bed. “How about that one?”

Jaehyun went over to it. “Sehun’s.” He said and sat down. Taeyong followed him and sat down beside him, their shoulders brushing against each other.

  “So…” Jaehyun started and the two looked down at their hands that awkwardly lied in their laps. “I hated you for all this time… and you kind of had no choice.”

  “I had one.” Taeyong said bitterly. “I was just too afraid of my father’s reaction to the picture and I thought from what you had told me, you would come through this staying strong. But you broke.”

  “I did.” Jaehyun croaked and Taeyong took his hand and held it tightly.

  “I’m so sorry, if I had known about what the letters really said I wouldn’t have let this happen to you.”

  “Yuta and Doyoung worked together with writing them, he told me that the day of the game. I knew they couldn’t have been nice, and I hated how Doyoung… Yuta said he had a picture of something good, Doyoung only saw it at the party, but hating your team he was quickly on the game. I remember coming down, wanting to stop Ten from dragging you away. I didn’t know what was happening. Doyoung stopped me in the hallway, telling me “well done, Tae!” I didn’t understand so I thought you’d maybe gone into the garden and searched there and before I knew it Johnny had the back of my jacket in his fist, dragging me through the house and throwing me outside. If only I had known about Yuta’s feelings for me… I had never given him much attention at that point. He’s always been a friend. Just… a friend.”

Jaehyun just listened to everything, slowly putting the pieces together and hating how Taeyong and Jaehyun had been played with and torn apart over nothing more than a crush and hate.

  “I started to like you after that basketball game.” Taeyong said with a small chuckle and Jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe you didn’t notice but I actually usually sat behind you when I took the bus but then I moved to the front because of two girls taking my seat all the time.” Jaehyun thought back and realized that yes he had indeed seen a guy wearing either a mask or a hood sit further back in the bus. “I didn’t know what it was that I felt, it took me long to figure it out. When I helped you that hot day when you collapsed I suddenly realized what it was. I told Yuta, who as my best friend would probably help me.”

Jaehyun heard Taeyong chuckle bitterly. He squeezed his hand in comfort. Taeyong sighed and rested his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder.

  “What do we do now?” He asked and Jaehyun thought hard.

  “We stay friends.” He said.

Taeyong lifted his head in shock. “What?” He asked and Jaehyun kept his gaze focused on the floor. His heart was aching but he knew what to do.

  “We stay friends, Taeyong.” He said and Taeyong’s eyes had that look again, that pleading look that made Jaehyun almost give in.

Taeyong kept looking into his eyes and he let the other look through them, searching for an answer which he found. He nodded and let go of his hand. Jaehyun’s hand felt cold. Taeyong wiped his cheek but Jaehyun hadn’t noticed he was crying. Taeyong looked up with a blank expression, hiding his emotions. Jaehyun really hated himself, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t let Taeyong drown him, he knew that now. He would be nothing but pain to Taeyong, his father and mother would never accept Taeyong and most of his team mates would neither. He couldn’t ruin Taeyong’s life more than he had already done and he couldn’t let Taeyong ruin his either.

Friendship, the boundary was friendship.

Taeyong was silent. “Take it slow.” He muttered into his hands.

Jaehyun nodded. “Slowly.”

The look on Taeyong’s face though, didn’t look like he was agreeing with Jaehyun. He wanted more, and Jaehyun knew that Taeyong wouldn’t give up. He would keep trying. Jaehyun wouldn’t give up either. This was for the best.

A/N:

I really really hated myself while writing this chapter, but Jaehyun isn't read yet. Poor Taeyong bby ;A; 
Now they will try out as friends... let's see how that works. 

I just got my driver's license yesterday so I'm a happy panda and I can already say that I really love driving alone. <3 

Also if you still haven't checked out When We Fall, I will say that I've just updated it with a new choice. Go check it out! <3

Thank you for all the comments I love them so much, I really appreciate them! <3

Love,
Emma. <3