Chapter 45.

I'm short of breath
Standing next to you
I'll be the dangerous ledge
You be the parachute
Blue and green below
Is a masterpiece
But you are beautiful
Like I've never seen

  “A bladder infection?” He repeated and she nodded. Everybody had frowns on their faces as if in disbelief. The doctor reached out her hands as if wanting them to cheer and be in a better mood but nobody seemed to break out of the shock.

  “Jaehyun’s immune system is low and he has gotten a bladder infection which still could be dangerous to him, so he’ll stay in the hospital until it’s gone. That’s why he’s been weaker lately as you’ve noticed. I believe he’ll get through this within a week with some antibiotics and then I don’t think we’ll have to continue the chemo except a few frequent checkups to make sure. We couldn’t find traces of the cancer so we have successfully removed it.” 

Jaehyun felt his own chin tremble and he looked up before balling his hands into fists. He pressed them to the sides of his head taking an extra look at the doctor before he let it all go. He cried out as the relief washed over him and Taeyong was already hugging him while Jaehyun’s father came over to pull Jaehyun close and he cried into the father’s arms. 

  “You’ll live.” His father said. “You’ll grow old and you’ll live.”

When everybody wants to stay young, Jaehyun found himself looking forward to living through life and watching wrinkles appear and his hair turning grey. It all meant one thing: He was alive and well. He would die of age. 

He would live beyond the years of his mother and he would live fully. 

Ten looked at him and the smile on his face was something Jaehyun wanted to take a picture of. Because there was so much hope and Jaehyun found it in all of the people he cared for’s faces. Hope.

Jaehyun wasn’t dying.

  “Now finish up your breakfast, I’ll drop you off at school before work.” Jaehyun’s father said. Jaehyun quickly snatched the last eggroll before Mark could grab it. Mark stared at him as if Jaehyun had betrayed him and he chased after Jaehyun as the taller ran into his room to get his bag. 

  “How could you?!” He shrieked and Taeyong was laughing at them. He looked at his phone and Jaehyun came over to peek down at the screen. 

  “Ten and Johnny will meet us by the tree.” 

  “Ah…” Jaehyun realized. “Where it all started.” 

Taeyong frowned. “What started?” He asked and Jaehyun heaved up in his bag.

  “Johnny invited Ten to the party.” 

The two walked into the hallway and wore their shoes. Taeyong looked amazed. “That’s so long ago.” He said in a low voice before re-adjusting his uniform. He gave Jaehyun a look and Jaehyun froze, knowing Taeyong had something to say. The other squinted and reached out to tug at Jaehyun’s sleeve. “It’s still so loose on you.”

  “I’ll fill it out soon enough.” Jaehyun promised and Taeyong frowned but smiled on the same time in a grimace. Jaehyun chuckled. “I’m gonna work out so much you’ll mistake me for a model!” 

  “With that face, I don’t think so.” Mark commented as he swept past the two to walk down the stairs. 

Taeyong snorted before laughing and Jaehyun was quick to chase after Mark. Taeyong followed them and even caught Mark for Jaehyun who wasn’t back to his full strength yet and was slowly coming back by doing exercises every day. Taeyong held Mark who was laughing but also begging for his life and Jaehyun raised up bent arms and he loosened his wrists so his fingers hung down in a creepy stance. Then he started wriggling his fingers and Mark screamed. Jaehyun hurried over and tickled Mark but the boys scattered when the elder lady 2 levels below theirs ripped the door open and gave them one look. One look and the boys were already bowing their way down the stairs, and Taeyong actually stumbled on his way down because he kept on bowing and didn’t look where he was going. Jaehyun’s father came jogging down the stairs and they all went into the car.

  “Ten is sleeping at Johnny’s place again.” Mark said as he buckled his seat-belt. “They’re so attached!” 

Jaehyun chuckled. “Don’t say that to Ten, he thinks he’s independent.” 

  “Take Johnny away from him for one day and he won’t know what to do.” Taeyong said with a knowing look and they all could imagine how whiny Ten would be. 

Jaehyun smiled and then looked back at Taeyong and Mark again from the passenger seat. “I feel a bit forgotten.” He said but he was still smiling. “I’m his best friend after all.”

Mark nodded understandingly. “See, this is why I don’t get the relationship stuff. Friendship is much more important to me.”

Taeyong laughed. “I’d like to hear you say that again when you’re in love.” He said and Mark grimaced in disbelief. Jaehyun looked at Taeyong whose eyes were so intense when they gazed at him and Jaehyun blushed and turned back around in his seat, facing the front. Jaehyun’s father entered the car after just answering a phone call outside. The three of them all noticed the look on his face.

  “What’s that face?” Jaehyun asked.

  “Something is up.” Taeyong nodded.

  “Was it mom?” Mark added.

Jaehyun’s father raised his hands up. “Alright, detectives, would you calm down?” He joked and looked back over his shoulder to reverse the car out of the parking spot. When he started driving he explained the phone call to the boys.

  “Jenny and I have been house hunting and we found this nice house in a neat neighborhood. Combining our salaries; it’s affordable.” 

  “Even with all the hospital bills?” Jaehyun asked nervously and his father smiled.

  “Well, we were talking about you guys getting summer jobs so you don’t spend all our money.” He smiled and Jaehyun looked back at Taeyong and Mark.

All of them nodded.

  “We can do that.” He said when he looked back at his father and his father grinned.

  “Let’s go check it out this weekend. There is room enough for Ten too, and there’s a bus going straight to your school too.”

Jaehyun had to close his eyes. He was so happy. 

The school was a foreign place and yet so familiar. The breeze caressed his face, his hair beneath his beanie was coming back, but he wasn’t that ready to show off his bald head. Ten stood beside him with Johnny’s arm around him, the taller whispering something in Ten’s ear that made Ten giggle. Ten looked at Jaehyun with a fond smile and Jaehyun wondered if Johnny had been saying something about him, because Johnny was smiling at him too. Mark waved Jaemin over and the younger turned around to face Jaehyun before following Jaemin to class. 

  “I knew you could do it.” He said and Jaehyun smiled, for a moment seeing Mark in the lower bunk bed of the cabin they had stayed in. It’s a long time ago, Jaehyun realized. Mark and Jaemin walked together, Jaemin hooked his elbow around Mark’s and Jaehyun felt Ten do the same. 

  “Let’s go to class.” 

Jaehyun saw Sehun and Jongin’s tall figures coming towards them in the hallway and he almost couldn’t contain his happiness when he saw Sehun beam and run towards him screaming his name. “JAEHYUN! MY CHILD!” 

Ten grimaced and pushed Sehun off Jaehyun. “He’s not your child. He’s mine.” 

Johnny laughed and greeted his classmates and he kissed Ten goodbye before even wrapping an arm around Jaehyun, tiptoeing to kiss the top of his head. Ten blushed because Johnny had to bend down to kiss his. Jaehyun rubbed his beanie as to get off the other’s germs and Johnny just sent them a smile. Then it was just the two of them in the buzzing hallway. Jaehyun looked down at Ten who exhaled deeply before glancing up at him. 

  “Like the old days.” He said and Jaehyun nodded. “Except you didn’t wear a silly beanie.” 

  “It’s not silly, you are.” Jaehyun pouted. 

Ten chuckled. “I’m kidding.” He said, voice full of warmth and Jaehyun followed the other to his classroom. Students gawked at him, other’s smiled and some looked relieved. Jaehyun never thought people really noticed him. I guess when you hear about one student who had already kind of made a name of himself getting diagnosed with cancer… well you can’t help but notice him.

The popularity that pity gives you... Jaehyun wasn’t sure if he liked that.

He’d prove himself to be something more than this illness; that would be a new mission for him. In class his teacher looked exceptionally happy and took it slow by picking up on topics they had went through. The other students looked like they appreciated that because those who had fallen behind were happily re-writing their notes. Ten kept smiling at Jaehyun and Jaehyun felt a pull at the corner of his lips. It was nice: Being back again. 

Then Ten raised his hand and Jaehyun watched a small curl of Ten’s lips before he asked to go to the bathroom. Jaehyun shrugged it off and continued working, raising his hand to answer one of the questions.

When there was a knock on the door and Taeil came in to call Jaehyun’s name… Jaehyun always dreaded that sight but now he was so happy, especially because Taeil wasn’t wearing his uniform which meant he’d come to school just to greet Jaehyun. 

  “Principal would like to see you.” He said with a grin and Jaehyun walked over to him with as much speed as his muscles could muster. Taeil wrapped an arm around Jaehyun and the teacher closed the door behind them. Taeil grinned. 

  “Actually the principal didn’t call, but we have a surprise for you, so follow me.” 

Jaehyun almost hit his forehead but instead rolled his eyes. Of course, Ten had left and hadn’t come back yet, that lying little .

They were nearing the gym hall. Jaehyun tried not to grimace as his stomach did uncomfortable loops in nervousness of what would happen when he entered the hall. A lot of people would definitely be startling but he couldn’t expect less from his friends. 

The hall leading up to the heavy doors were dark and Taeil smiled up at him, then let him inside and Jaehyun were blinded by the brightness of the place.
The court was empty but at the benches was a whole group huddled together, discussing something and Taeil stopped abruptly. “Guys!” He hissed and Jaehyun tried to choke down his laughter when everybody turned around with wide eyes. Taeil pointed exaggeratedly to his watch and most of the group looked at the red digital watch upon the wall of the gym. Mark immediately popped one of the confetti canons and Sehun fell back when most of it exploded right into his face. Johnny’s laugh boomed and Jongin helped out Sehun with getting the confetti out of his hair and face. 

  “Weren’t you prepared?” Hansol joked and Sehun gave him a look. “Should I have warned you?”

Both Sehun and Johnny stared at Hansol - the taller and Johnny were both giggling like mad - until Ten gagged. “EW!” 

Soohyun blinked before he nudged Jaemin and the smaller fired off more canon confetti and Ten threw up the balloons. “Welcome back to the team!” They all cheered and Taeil rubbed his forehead in disappointment. 

  “I swear we tried to coordinate.” He promised Jaehyun who was beaming with glistening eyes. Taeil couldn’t help but smile warmly at the sight. “Come on, we have cake.” 

Jaehyun watched the boys play while he and Soohyun took a seat together on the benches. “It hasn’t been the same without you.” He said and Jaehyun nodded. 

  “Life hasn’t been good without you either.” He replied honestly and Soohyun patted Jaehyun’s knee. “I missed practice.”

Soohyun pretended to wipe tears off his cheeks. “Thank you. Not many tell me that.” 

Jaehyun chuckled. “Does anyone tell you that?”

  “Shut up,” Soohyun pouted and Jaehyun laughed. Soohyun did too and the then he proceeded to yell at Yugeom for playing solo. “Most of the team is graduating, but we got some new kids that are coming next year and Mark and Jaemin have promised me to get some new players. We need to get more.” 

Jaehyun nodded, “we’ll get some, I’m sure.” 

  “You too?” Soohyun asked after a short pause.

Jaehyun remembered the doctor telling him to rest for a while. “Maybe.” He smiled. 

Jaehyun felt the bumps in the asphalt where cars had abused it so much it had given in to the weight. He also felt the curves of the road and the inclines and slopes. They were going up now, he realized and he opened his eyes to look out. The area they were in was beyond nice, so much different from their small apartment. They were in Seungbuk-ro and Jaehyun and the other three which consisted of Taeyong, Mark and Ten were all sitting with their noses against the windows, peeking out at the houses they passed. 

  “Is it soon?” Mark asked and Jenny’s laugh blossomed. Jaehyun was sitting in the middle and Ten were in the back boxes stacked beside him, taking up the remaining seat. Then they stopped and Jaehyun yelped when Mark threw himself over Jaehyun to see out the window. Jaehyun leaned in over Taeyong, feeling the other’s heat on his cheek as he put his chin on the older’s shoulder. It was a brick house, wide windows, small garden, they couldn’t see much because of the brick fence, so they all waited for the gates to open so that they could see what it looked like. As soon as the gate moved away Jaehyun’s father drove the car into the driveway and parked it outside of the house. The boys looked up in awe. There was what looked like three levels to it, a hill rose up so the garage was in the basement, and then with two levels above it. Taeyong seemed to be interested in the garden and he went up the steps to glance around. 

  “It’s beautiful,” he said and Ten came up beside him. 

  “Needs a helping hand though,” he opined and Jaehyun and the other two eyed the overgrown bushes and the tall grass. Jaehyun’s father called them down to help along with unpacking and the boys all gathered up in a small group. 

  “Please let us explore first!” Ten pleaded and eyed the garage door which was now open. Jaehyun’s father laughed and nodded before giving Jaehyun the keys. Jaehyun closed his fingers around the cool metal before he led the way, having the other three right on his heels. He unlocked the door of the garage and held it closed for a moment. 

It was if he couldn’t open the door. He wasn’t ready to enter this life full of hope and possibilities. He’d been so used to the darkness, to the thought of death and he had forgotten how it felt to be truly happy. This unbelievable feeling inside his chest was blossoming, and now he felt dread. He feared he would lose this, he couldn’t hold onto this happiness. To live with his best friend, Ten. To live with his brother, Mark. To live with the love of his life, Taeyong. How could he look upon life with wide eyes when he’d left two behind… Three people behind on this journey. 

Haechan. Doyoung. His mother.

Would he forget to slow down? Would he forget to live and let it all pass by in a blur? End his story with a rushed happy ending? So much lied behind this door and his arm felt so light, he couldn’t use it. 

A hand appeared on top of his on the handle. Jaehyun looked down only to meet the brown eyes that always left him breathless. He dropped his gaze to those lips that started his journey and he felt grounded. Another beaming face came to view and he saw Mark and Ten’s hands reach over to put theirs on top of Taeyong’s. 

  “Together.” Taeyong smiled and Jaehyun squeezed his eyes shut. He pushed down; feeling the other boys follow his movement and push as well and before they knew it they were faced with a hallway that looked like Heaven’s corridors. Their new home. 

Mark and Ten pushed past as they ran towards the staircase. There was an attic that could be changed into a bedroom, which meant every boy could have their own room if wanted. Jaehyun insisted that Taeyong had his own. He got one with a view over Seoul, Ten with a view over the mountain’s and Mark the garden and the rising sun. Taeyong got the attic and Jaehyun would never forget the look in Taeyong’s eyes. They had a home.

  “Dad,” Jaehyun spoke up doing their first dinner together. “Johnny was talking about throwing a party.” 

His dad gave him a look, a look Jenny copied or maybe that was just every parent’s expression when their kid mentioned a ‘party’. “To celebrate being done with school.” Ten added, trying to save Jaehyun’s fiasco of a conversation starter. “We’ll be careful.”

Jaehyun’s father leaned in. “He’s still recovering.” He reminded the boys with a pointed look and Jaehyun dropped his gaze to his rice. “No drinking.”

  “Of course not, dad.” Jaehyun promised putting down his chopsticks a little harshly and Taeyong’s hand found its way to Jaehyun’s thigh under the table. The kitchen was still very empty, they hadn’t finished unpacking yet. 

His dad nodded understandingly. “Well, with your history Jaehyun,” he started, “shouldn’t I at least give a warning?” 

Jaehyun pouted, but Ten quickly assured Jaehyun’s dad that they would be very careful. Just a get-together after all this time apart. Jaehyun’s father and Jenny shared a gaze before they both chuckled and Jaehyun huffed. 

 

It was a calm day, it was the weekend and they were unpacking and trying to make the house look like a home. Taeyong was wearing shorts and a t-shirt while trying to sort out cds. The other had to put on glasses which he so rarely used which Jaehyun found amusing. Jaehyun smiled at Taeyong who was sniffling before wiping off the cover and putting the cd into order. Jaehyun chuckled when Taeyong pushed up his glasses that slid down his nose bridge immediately after being pushed up and he gained Taeyong’s attention. 

  “What?” The other asked and Jaehyun got up a little slowly before reaching out a hand for Taeyong to take. He pulled him into the garden. Mark peeked his head through the sliding glass doors.

  “We’re going to get ice cream!” He called and Jaehyun and Taeyong cheered before watching the other run back to his mother. The two of them found a stone bench that the previous owners may have decided not to bring along with them. Taeyong put his chin on Jaehyun’s shoulder, eyes round as they looked up at him. 

  “You okay?” He asked and Jaehyun couldn’t help but shrug which forced Taeyong to lean back. 

  “It feels… surreal.” He admitted and Taeyong nodded, the sun’s rays finding its way through the tree’s crown and making Taeyong look ethereal. Taeyong cupped Jaehyun’s face and Jaehyun closed his eyes when the other kissed him. 

  “It is all real,” he whispered and Jaehyun inhaled sharply before going in for another kiss, feeling Taeyong’s soft lips against his own. 

  “I love you.” He breathed and Taeyong’s lips spread into the widest smile.

  “Love you too.” He grinned and Jaehyun’s nerves were static when the two of them made out. One kiss after the other and he couldn’t stop himself. Taeyong sighed in between the kisses and Jaehyun tugged Taeyong closer against him. Letting his fingers travel down the other’s side to slide beneath Taeyong’s shirt and caress the skin beneath it. Taeyong gasped and Jaehyun took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. 

  “Guys!” Ten’s voice cut through and the two immediately pulled away, staring at each other and the mess they’d made. Jaehyun flattened Taeyong’s hair and Taeyong tugged down in his shirt, both of them simultaneously wiping their lips as Ten slowed down to long strides instead of running. He didn’t need a minute to realize what he had interrupted and he gave them a knowing smile. “Sorry, Lovebirds.” He teased the two before stretching out his arms and giving them an excited grin. “You dad wants to talk to us!” He squealed before ushering them to follow and the two came along into the kitchen.
 

Jaehyun’s jaw dropped, mixed feelings filling his chest. “You’re going to WHAT?!” He exclaimed and Jaehyun’s father put down the little navy blue box that stood in dark contrast with the beige wooden table. 

  “I’m proposing to Jenny.” He stated; confidence in his voice. “Next weekend.” 

A/N:

Made the chapter long because you guys deserved it! Life is truly a rollercoaster, but it won't stop me from finishing this story. We are nearing the end but I still need to tie some knots. Maybe in one or two chapters? Not sure haha

I hope you guys still like this, I find myself missing it whenever I'm not writing. Thank you for reading <3

Love,
Emma <3