Chapter 25.

You're holding my heart in your hands and it's the safest feeling I've had.
It can't be true, someone like you, feels this way for me?

Jaehyun’s father mumbled something about buying a bed while Ten smiled and shook his head. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” He said and looked at the small couch they had in their apartment. Jaehyun grimaced. Ten quickly turned his head to give Jaehyun a look that told him not to even try saying that he would do that and that Ten could sleep in his bed instead. Jaehyun sighed.

Johnny and Ten was talking on the phone when Jaehyun was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He was on the same time texting Taeyong who wanted to check if Jaehyun was okay. Jaehyun stood with his toothbrush in his mouth as he texted the other back.

To: Handsome Idiot

I’m good, really. How about you?

Jaehyun looked at Taeyong’s nickname. Maybe he should change it? He spat out the excess of toothpaste and washed his mouth with cold water. He could still hear Ten chatting in the living room and he exited the bathroom only to see his father take a tray of apples to the living room. Jaehyun took slow steps and stopped by the corner watching his father place the small tray in front of Ten who smiled at him.

  “Goodnight, giant - love you too.” Ten said and put his phone down. His father smiled at Ten and Ten took an apple. The two of them started conversing and Jaehyun was oddly reminded of watching his mother and father talk in the kitchen. It was nice with other company in the room. Jaehyun’s father wasn’t one to talk a lot, only when he had had something to drink or if it was really important for him to speak his mind. Jaehyun’s mother though had always said that even the small things were important and she spoke a lot. Jaehyun hadn’t gotten much from her, but Ten’s bright spirit seemed to remind Jaehyun of his mother. She rarely cried, only when watching movies. It was always when something really good happened that she cried out of happiness. Only two times had Jaehyun seen her cry out of sadness and that was when his grandmother died and when his mother told his father how scared she was to leave them behind. They thought Jaehyun was asleep on the bench of the room his mother was in, but Jaehyun heard them and it broke his heart.

Now in this moment, he felt himself accept her passing and accept that she was gone. Even though she really wasn’t, she appeared in different things, like in Ten or the apples or when the sun rose to bring new hope to Jaehyun like his mother had always done. Jaehyun’s phone beeped as Taeyong had replied to his text and Jaehyun watched Ten and his father look up at him. Ten smiled and patted the couch that looked more like a bed now. Jaehyun went over to sit down while fishing out his phone from his pocket. He opened Taeyong’s text while the other two continued their conversation.

From: Handsome idiot

I’m wondering… if I can do the same thing as Ten? If I can be saved from my parents too… I guess I can now that you’re my friend. You’re a great friend, you know? Johnny told me about how Ten really loves and appreciates you. Do remember that people do that. I do too.

Jaehyun’s heart leaped and he had to put his phone away, accidentally doing it in a wild gesture of slamming it down on the table. Ten and Jaehyun’s father looked at Jaehyun in surprise. Ten smirked.

  “Why are you blushing?” He asked and Jaehyun’s wide eyes moved to Ten.

  “I-I’m not!” He said and covered his cheeks feeling the heat beneath his fingers. He was really blushing. Crap…

Jaehyun’s father chuckled and leaned back in his seat, getting up. “I’ll get to bed kids, you should rest too. You still got school tomorrow.”

  “Ah… I hoped we could skip some classes.” Ten said with a playful smile and Jaehyun’s father laughed heartedly.

  “Well it doesn’t hurt me if I don’t know.” He said and then went into his room. Jaehyun was staring at his phone, not knowing how the hell to reply to that text. Ten reached out to grab it and Jaehyun gripped Ten’s wrist.

  “You’re not reading it!” He threatened and Ten smiled.

  “I am! Since you’re blushing like that and acting all flustered!” Ten took the phone with his free hand and Jaehyun released a small frustrated cry and covered his face while Ten read.

  “If you don’t marry him, I will.” Ten said and Jaehyun glared at his best friend.

  “Don’t you even dare!” He said and snatched his phone from Ten’s hand, reading the message again. Jaehyun sighed and leaned back on the couch. Ten just watched him, a moment of silence embracing them.

  “You really like him, don’t you?”

  “How many times are you guys gonna ask that?” Jaehyun asked and hid his face in his arms. Ten didn’t reply to it.

  “Give him a chance.” Ten then said.

Jaehyun looked up, staring at the text on his phone. Should he really? Should he give Taeyong a chance and try out loving someone without holding back? Should he really let his heart drown, let himself drown, in hope Taeyong jumps in to drown with him, in that crazy thing that’s called love?

Jaehyun let himself fall into Ten’s arms and he decided to accept Taeyong’s love and accept his own love for Taeyong. It was final. He would not hold back anymore.

To: Handsome Idiot

I know it’s late but what are you doing right now? Let’s meet near Han River. Near the basketball court.

From: Handsome Idiot

Nothing really... Now?

To: Handsome Idiot

I’m leaving now. See you.

From: Handsome Idiot

See you~

Ten watched Jaehyun walk into his room to find a black hoodie. He squinted his eyes. “What did you write?” He asked and stood to follow Jaehyun into the hall.

  “I’m going to meet him at Han River.” He said as he wondered which shoes to wear. Ten gawped.

  “You’re what?!” He exclaimed but kept his voice low. “We have school tomorrow and it’s 10 pm.”

Jaehyun opened the door, the lock beeping. “You told me to give him a chance.”

Ten huffed with a smile on his lips. “Good thing we’re skipping school tomorrow.”

Jaehyun smiled back at his best friend. “Good thing we are. See you!” He then said and hurried down the stairs. Ten waved at him and laughed to himself.

You’d expected Jaehyun to run into Taeyong’s arms as soon as he saw him, right? Well, Jaehyun felt more like throwing up as he leaned against the railing, staring at the colored lights decorating the bridge crossing Han River. He could see Taeyong walking towards him, a hood framing his face, hands in his pockets. A street-light bathed Jaehyun in a soft light and he tried to calm his raging nerves.

Taeyong leaned against the railing, facing Jaehyun who hadn’t looked up from the water yet. Taeyong cleared his throat and Jaehyun straightened his back. “Hi…” He said breathlessly and Taeyong smiled kindly.

  “Hi, Jaehyun.” He said and Jaehyun cursed the other for saying his name, because it did things to his heart that he couldn’t control. Jaehyun exhaled deeply, his breath getting caught when he took himself in laughing at himself. Taeyong stepped a little closer, a worried frown taking over his handsome features. Jaehyun looked at the other. He knew they had kissed before, that Taeyong’s lips felt like visiting heaven, that Taeyong’s touches made him fly up. Still he couldn’t imagine kissing Taeyong without anything holding him back.

Jaehyun gasped when he noticed that he had leaned in towards Taeyong. Taeyong’s eyes were looking into his with anticipation swimming in them and Jaehyun felt the other’s breath on his chin. A little closer... Jaehyun could do it, cross the distance, kiss Taeyong and let go. For a short moment the door to his heart turned heavier, alarms went off in his head and heart but he couldn’t stop himself. Whatever Ten and his father had said it had worked because here Jaehyun was, trying to hold a flood away from his heart, but who could stop the tidal wave that was Taeyong? Jaehyun wanted to try love, he wanted to be disappointed by it, to fight for it, to cry and to laugh and to feel blessed. He wanted to squirm around his bed trying to wipe the smile off his face in his pillow he wanted to feel love like people did. He wanted to dive into it.

Jaehyun removed the distance between them, pressing a kiss to Taeyong’s lips that molded perfectly against his. Taeyong’s hands found their way to Jaehyun’s waist and Jaehyun cupped Taeyong’s face, titling his head and letting Taeyong deepen the kiss. His head was spinning, his heart was beating so fast but he took himself in loving everything. Loving the feeling. Loving Taeyong.

Taeyong was gasping for air when Jaehyun leaned away, both of them breathless and smiles decorating their youthful faces.

  “I accept your feelings.” Jaehyun said and felt Taeyong pull him closer by his shirt. Jaehyun looked down at the other. “If you accept mine?” He added and Taeyong laughed but his eyes were shining.

  “I do.” He said and Jaehyun smiled when the other pecked his lips. He let the other pull him into a hug. They embraced each other tightly, both feeling their walls come crashing down, opening up their hearts to a cruel world but both of them knew that this was a choice they both wanted. The love they shared was enough, they could do anything as long as they loved each other.

Jaehyun leaned back against the railing and Taeyong did too. The two of them looked up at the trees and the rising sky scrapers of Seoul.

  “Don’t worry, Jaehyun.” Taeyong then said and looked up at the other. “I don’t mind if we take it slow, I’m just… I’m really happy.” Taeyong said and cleared his throat. Jaehyun was drowning, definitely; he was drowning. The boy from the basketball court under the raging heat was happy, happy because of Jaehyun and who would’ve thought they would end up like this?

  “This weekend.” Jaehyun said as the two of them walked home. “I would like to invite you for dinner.”

Taeyong chuckled nervously. “Does your father know?” He asked and Jaehyun smiled.

  “He was the one who told me to bring you home.”

  “Oh…” Taeyong gasped. “Really?” He then asked and Jaehyun nodded and then took Taeyong’s hand in his. Feeling electricity shoot up through his arm.

  “Really.” He confirmed it and Taeyong beamed.

  “I would love to.” Taeyong said and Jaehyun felt like he could melt right there. 

Jaehyun was panicking. “Ten why do you have to go to Johnny’s house?” He asked pleadingly as he debated whether a button-up shirt would be too much. He stared at their small dinner table. “Why is our dinner table so small?” He asked and started checking his reflection in the mirror of the hall. Ten stood with his bags and watched the two from the Jung family panic.

  “Friends.” He called and watched Jaehyun’s father bump his foot into the sofa table and Jaehyun was whining about how long his hair was getting. “Friends!” Ten called raising his voice and Jaehyun’s father stopped and looked at them. Jaehyun looked nervous as if he had been caught red-handed. “It’s Taeyong.” Ten said. “He’s a human being, don’t worry I’m sure he’ll love everything, I love everything in this apartment, so of course he will too.” Ten said and his phone buzzed. Both Jaehyun and his father looked calmer than before.

  “I’ll help with the food, dad.” Jaehyun said and Ten smiled to himself as he took out his phone. Ten took small steps, lifting up his phone to capture a photo of Jaehyun and his dad cooking together in the kitchen. Ten giggled to himself. His phone buzzed.

From Giant:

I’m here, baby. :*

  “Why are you blushing?” Ten jumped up when Jaehyun appeared in front of him, tall height towering as he leaned in to peek at Ten’s phone. “May I read the text?” He asked with an innocent flutter of his eyelashes and Ten reached up and pinched Jaehyun’s cheek.

  “I’m the only one who’s allowed to sneak around in your texts.” He said and when Jaehyun pouted Ten just stuck out his tongue. “Johnny’s here, good luck!” Ten beamed and Jaehyun’s shoulder slumped.

  “I’m not ready for this…” He groaned.

Ten smiled. “Yes you are.” Then the smaller slipped out of the door and Jaehyun felt his heart beat even faster, because he knew the next one to enter would be Taeyong.

A/N:

Decided to update today already because it's my birthday and I'm in a good mood. I wanted to bring you in a good mood and look at this fluffy chapter guys, I didn't know I could write this? Haha~

Thank you for all the birthday wishes <333 It warms my heart and I hope this chapter made yours feel warm as well. <3

What do you guys think? <3

See you again when I got some time off, work starts again this week and I'm going to Copenhagen for a VISA appointment tomorrow so I need to go to bed early... :((((
 

Love,
Emma. <3