The days leading up to the boys’ arrival had started to get me more and more anxious. I was slowly starting to question if it was in my best interest to have not told them about Yoona prior to their arrival. The more I thought about it, the more it started to seem like I had made the wrong decision. How would they react when they found out I have been hanging out and working alongside the girl who had tried to ruin Bangtan? That we were… friends? I guess you could say that, but then again I wasn’t even completely sure if Yoona and I were considered friends.

We worked together, we saw each other on a daily basis, we went out for lunch, but we didn’t have deeper conversations that girlfriends should have, probably because of the feeling that bringing up our pasts would create conflict with our present.

It was the night before BTS’ arrival to LAX and I was skyping with Jimin as they were in New York anticipating their flight the next day.

Jimin was telling me about their schedule for the next week since they had a week free in Los Angeles after the concert, but I was in my own world, not necessarily listening. More specifically, in my own world thinking about my internal struggle if I should foreworn Jimin about Yoona.

“Hyeon? Are you listening to me?” I heard Jimin ask. I focused my eyes on the screen in front of me. He was looking at me curiously, “Something wrong?”

As I looked at his face that was on my screen, I smiled. I wanted to help make this boy happy and never have to feel that past pain again. I sighed and asked, “Chimchim, do you ever think about Yoona?”

If I had asked him this over six months ago, he might’ve stiffened and started acting defensive or offended I had even asked. But instead, he cocked his head to the side and shrugged, “I used to, but not recently. Why do you ask?”

I adjusted my sitting position and avoided his question, “Do you think you’ve forgiven her?”

“Well,” he ponderd for a moment, “I feel like when it happened, when she sold everything to the media, I was infuriated, hurt, upset, everything. I was feeling all of the emotions at once,” he paused before continuing and looked up at me.

I nodded and encouraged him to continue.

“But now, I don’t think I’ve forgiven her for what she’s done, but I’ve accepted the fact that there’s nothing that I can do about it anymore. What’s done is done, and I can only change my future,” he said before smiling, “and I only see you in it.”

I blushed but gave him a toothy grin.

“Jimin?”

“Mhmm?”

“What would you do if you saw her again?”

He gave me a questioning look, “why do you keep asking about her?”

I hesitated, “Well… What if we ran into her again after all these years? What would you do?” I asked as I managed to avoid his question again.

He sighed, giving into my question, “I’m not really sure what I would do. In all honesty, I’m in a good place right now. The boys’ and I, we’re having a great time. Our tour is going great, the music is great, so far there hasn’t been any about us online, and I have you. I don’t think that anything could go wrong,” he yawned, “so to answer your question, I don’t know. I’m not sure, but all I know is that I’m happy, and I want to stay this way for a while.”

I nodded at his answer, “Thanks for answering my questions, Chimmie.”

I looked at him and he looked tired, dazed, like a little boy trying not to fall asleep but was failing miserably since his eyes kept closing as he was dozing off, only to be woken up to prevent his head from falling.

“Maybe you should go to sleep now, Jimin.” I suggested as he tried to keep his eyes open.

He nodded sleepily, “Okay okay.” He shuffled around until he was lying down on his bed, holding his phone sideways so I could still see him as he lied down, “But before I go, can I ask why you asked so much about Yoona today? I thought we were going to talk about tomorrow?”

“I’ll tell you about it when I see you, how about that?” I suggested. I didn’t want to keep him from his sleep any longer since he had a flight to wake up to and a long day ahead of him.

Again, he gave me a sleepy nod, “Okay, but promise you’ll tell me.”

“I promise. Now goodnight, Jimin.”

“I love you, Hyeon.”

“And I love you,” I replied, and he gave a lazy smile before I ended the call.

But would he still love me after hiding this secret or seeing Yoona again?

“Are you sure about this?” she asked me nervously.

I nodded, “I’m sure.”

I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder, “Just meet us at the restaurant. I’m going to meet them at their hotel, then we’ll go eat dinner.” I quickly took another look at myself in the mirror, “I don’t want you at the hotel with me because you’ll be one of the first people they see after getting here. I don’t want anyone to react badly, so I think that the restaurant will be okay.”

Yoona slowly nodded, “Okay, I’ll be there at 8 o’clock.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours then,” I said confidently as I grabbed my coat and headed out of her dorm.

My exterior was trying to remain as composed and confident as possible, but my interior was dying. I was panicking. I was starting to doubt this idea of Yoona meeting Jimin and the boys again, but being me, I didn’t know how to say it nicely. I didn’t want to upset anyone. So instead, I just went through with the original plan.

I tried to calm myself down by thinking of the fact that I would be seeing Jimin soon, but was slowly worried at the thought, because this meant that I would be seeing Jungkook again as well.

I spent most of last night thinking about how or what I would say to him. The thought that we might play it off like nothing happened, and that we were still friends was a possibility. But then I would remember that Jimin had told me that he was still recovering, still slowly getting over the whole situation. Jungkook was someone who I didn’t want to lose, he was just as important in my life as Jimin was, but how do you fix unresolved feelings?

As I soon realized that I had reached their hotel, I walked past the few fans who had already started waiting by the hotel lobby and flashed my ID at the front desk. The receptionist looked at me and nodded, as she handed me a room key. BTS’ manager had already informed the hotel of my arrival so that I would be already waiting in their rooms before they even got here, to avoid as much of the craziness from the fans as possible.

Getting into the elevator, I smiled at the worker, “15th floor please.”