Kyungsoo's POV:

*Baaaaaaaam!* 

 

. . . . 

 

*Baaaaaammm!*

 

"Kyungsoo, cut it down will you? You'll earn a huge swelling lump in your forehead and you wouldn't like how it would look like one bit." A high-pitched male voice echoed in the Study Room, I probably think he was getting tired of me slamming my head on the table as I can clearly hear his indistinct murmurs from afar. 

I may have a really bad eyesight, but I have such clear hearing abilities.

I mean, they do say if you have one of your senses are impaired, some would be heightened right?

I mean, I can literally hear Sehun breathing a ' you' every time he loses a game, even if he isn't here in the room at all. 

I am not okay. 

I really am not okay.

. . . . 

*Baaaaaaaaaaammm!* 

 

"Aaiiiishhhhh, ya?!!! Kyungsoo-yah!!! Stobbb it??!! You wanna look like that Hatengu guy in Kimetsu? That guy with a massive lump on his head ready to take you off planet Mars?!" I can hear his footsteps trample hard on the tiled floor, he's probably marching his way to my direction -- and few more seconds he slammed both his hands on the same table I was laying my head flat on.

Hatengu was a strong Upper Moon Demon though.

I mean, his head lump was useful.

I don't think my head and my braincells would be of use if Jongdae still tells me about this one more time.

I don't wanna do it. I can't. 

I am too much of a chicken to do this kind of thing. Cut me some slack, will you?

"Get yourself together will you? It's not a big deal? There's really nothing to worry about --"

"Jongdae-ah, you don't understand, I am afraid of doing it. I don't wanna do it, I am scared." Was what I mumbled loudly under the echoes of the glass table before raising my head to meet the Valet's gaze. I tilted my head a bit, still laying on the table as I made a cute pout with cutesy eyes, so as to hope that would work and Jongdae won't let me do it and reconsider.

"Oh my gahd, you think you doing some aegyo right now will make me reconsider? No matter how many cute and ugly faces you make won't cut the fact that you need to do this, the King and Queen says so." Jongdae rolled his eyes at me as he face palmed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily as he slumped his shoulders down in a tiresome defeat. 

"B-But Daeeeeeeeee --"

"I am not going to cover for you, Soo. I am not Chanyeol's fiancé?? And you're technically a Royal now, do you think you can get away with duties likes these?" He sounded frustrated already, but despite the tone he still walked over to the bathroom to get some wet wipes, and then after a few, he went back to me, cupped my head with one hand, and wiped my forehead using the wet wipes with the other. 

Wait wait, no. He's got a point. 

A really inevitable point at that.

I'm the fiancé of a Crowned Prince, of course I knew that.

What I did not anticipate, is that I would be dealing with HUGE responsibilities.

I thought I would be dealing with these when we officially got married --

Oh. 

OH.

Oh. What the .

I closed my eyes in utter defeat as I just let Jongdae wipe the redness of my forehead from slamming it far too long at the table. When he was done, I laid back on the the large swivel chair, sighing in defeat as I rotated the said chair around in slow circles. I don't actually know what I can do and what to do. 

"Should Chanyeol and I be really present during the event?" 

"Kyungsoo. It's the Foundation Day of the country. OF COURSE, it's an important event for the country, the people and the state. How can you not be there?" The valet sat comfortably in the black couch as he fiddled on his smartphone. Probably checking stuff on the internet or SNS.

Ugh. Why does it have to be a huge event. I don't want in.

My social battery is going to die that day.

Even worse, it's going to explode from too much people watching over me.

My social anxiety can only handle as much, but going on an event and participating on a parade isn't something my anxiety handle.

Even the thought of it makes me faint already.

"I can't handle huge crowds like these, Dae. Let alone the WHOLE population of Korea." I stopped turning the chair, leaned my arms at the table once more, there was an unreadable expression on my face as I looked at it from the reflection of the table. My brows furrowed, I look sad but at the same time I look constipated, like a huge piece of might come out of my any second yet, I am unable to push it out because it's big and my hole is small. 

Yeah. Just like that, taking this huge responsibility of being the Prince's fiancé is like a huge chunk of poop. You can't let it all out so easily, it's not that easy.

I love him, that's a fact. But I don't love being a Royal. 

I don't like being held captive and then be forced to do attend and do things you don't want to do. 

Chanyeol, I love you.

I love you so much that every time you wear your princely clothes I just want to strip them off of you, because they remind me that I too, need to wear those.

Can I have a day where I don't need to think about Royal duties just this once?

I just want to eat jajangmyeon. 

". . . . Haaaaa, I understand your sentiment, Soo. It's just that there really isn't anything we can do about it since, you are a Royal. You are betrothed to the Crowned Prince of the country, are you not?" Jongdae put his phone away in his pockets, he sounded worried for me but at the same time he sounded like as much as he wants to help, he couldn't do anything about it either.

"W-Well yeah, I am."

"You want to marry him too right?"

". . . . Huh?" 

"Kyungsoo, you ARE marrying him, right?" Jongdae emphasized, repeating the same question, nodding his head repeatedly, his eyes darting arrows at me, waiting for me to reply to that.

I don't know what to answer to that.

Sweet heavens, take me now. 

Why is commitment so ing hard?????

I want to be with Chanyeol, but I wanna live a really simple life too.

This is life is too grandiose for me. Too many to deal with.

And now I know how businessmen and celebrities feel like when they are out in public, you seem to have your own personal limelight floating around your head, and when people start to recognize you, they will follow your tail wherever you go, and you as on the other hand is tasked to protect yourself, your privacy and your safety because god knows what would happen to you when people trail on you in the wrong direction.

I didn't realize that, getting engaged and marrying a Royal would be this taxing.

Before I could even answer, the door of the Study Room swung open, our conversation was cut as we both got caught off guard and directed our gazes to the door.

Ah. Just the person I was expecting to see.

My knight in shining Jedis and light sabers.

Prince Yoda. 

Chanyeol was panting hard, trying to catch on his breath before he could say anything. His brown curly hair was now a mess, I remember earlier this morning his hair was gelled up, but now it just looks like a clump of a cat's hairball being placed above his head. And for some reason, wearing a black hoodie wasn't a good idea especially in an afternoon where he was rushing back and forth to the Throne Room because his parents kept asking him to come. 

His parents were asking him to do the rounds for the soldiers today.

I heard Prince Jongin was nowhere to be found this morning, no one knew where he went so the King asked Chanyeol to do it instead.

"Mom said Jongin just suddenly disappeared this morning, even the soldiers at the entrance, haven't seen a wink of him either." Chanyeol told me earlier that day as he was looking into his wardrobe for comfortable clothes to wear.

"Where could he have went?" I stood up from the bed to help him out as he was putting his black hoodie on, fixing the creases of the clothing after he had fully worn it.

"Dunno. Father doesn't really care where that idiot goes, as long as he does his Palace duties, if Jongin doesn't comply, he does get an earful sometimes too."

"Then is the King mad after knowing this?" I was fixing trying to clear the hood of any folds and creases, Chanyeol then giving out a small smile showing his cute dimple at me.

"Well, Father is in a good mood today, so he said he will let it slide, and he'll let me take the rounds instead."

"Tired?" Jongdae blurted out to cut off the silence. He stood up immediately to hold the door for Chanyeol, the giant then proceeded to walk towards me, still silent but was still panting hard, he probably ran to fast. 

My eyes followed his antics as he was getting closer to where I was. He looked at me, his eyes were tired and drowsy. I turned the swivel chair to the left to face him as he just stood in front of me for a while.

"Yes?" I asked softly, I gently smiled as I looked up at him, of course in a standing stance he would be pretty taller than me, and knowing that I am sitting down? I look far shorter than a leprechaun. 

He still didn't say a word, but all he did was look back at me. When I noticed that his breathing soon evened out, he slowly lowered himself to meet my gaze, his body slightly leaning onto me as he held on to my thighs for support. After a while, he successfully sat down on the floor, his legs comfortably positioned on the side, his body slightly turned towards me as his he let his arms lay on top of my lap. 

He's exhausted. 

My poor baby puppy.

He's so cute.

I giggled, it came out to me as a soft, low giggle. He was adjusting his whole sitting position to his liking, lazily pushing his body to stick more closer to my legs. I can see the face of content in him when he finally found a comfortable position to be in, nodding at himself as a sign of success before looking back up at me.

"What are you doing, Yeol?"

"I wanna take a nap here." Was what he simply said. His voice was raspy and a little sore, probably because of giving orders via screaming and sending out the memo for today to the Palace soldiers. He didn't say anything further afterwards, as he just rested his head on top of his arms, closing his eyes as he comfortably dozed off laying on my lap.

"I bet his Father got him all busied up the whole morning." Jongdae said in a hushed tone, he was still standing near the door, his eyes curved as he smiled bright seeing Chanyeol sleeping.

"I guess so." I lowered my head to check up on him, trying my best move slow and steady, so as to not wake him up. Seeing him vulnerable like this made my heart flutter, he was asleep in an instant, his breathing calm and slow, his eyes closed shut and his mouth slightly agape.

It's rare to see Chanyeol calm like this. 

And it's even rarer to see him lower his defenses, showing his vulnerability.

In moments like these, I feel blessed and lucky to have witnessed this, who would have thought that even a person from a Royal Family could also be this human, just like the rest of us. 

The only difference he has with other people is the fact that he is leading and representing a country, while we lead really normal, humble lives.

Being in a higher position dictated by a certain society, is truly, a very difficult task to live by.

And this is why I did say, being a Royal can be very taxing. 

While you can live a life of luxury, while you can buy anything and everything you want, and while you can live a life lavishly without the worries of losing money or emptying your wallets the next day --

Those things won't and cannot compensate the fatigue and the stress you will acquire, the burden of lifting and carrying a whole country or nation in your hands is equivalent to a superhero bearing the responsibility to save the world from danger. 

Chanyeol can buy anything he wants, but he can't buy his peace of mind, nor can he buy a humble and simple life. Money can buy lots of things, material things that can bring you happiness but only on the temporary --

Money can't buy what Chanyeol really needs in his life -- acceptance, assurance and affection.

And those things are the reason why he clings very closely to me.

Because I am the only one who can give all three. 

Even his parents couldn't give him a night's peace of rest, there were days where Chanyeol needed to wake up in the middle of the night or at dawn, because he couldn't sleep comfortably due to overthinking. He wakes up thinking of his duties and that he might forget about them, dreading that if he didn't do it early he would get scolded by the King. 

If only I had the power to throw away all the pains and the responsibilities given to him, I would, I really would. And as much as I want to carry the burden that he has right now, all I can ever do is watch him suffer bit by bit.

After all, at the end of the day --

I am just his fiancé. I'm just merely a doll that he has to bring along his duties, because we are considered an icon to the country. I am only here for pretty pictures and slight speeches on interviews when asked. 

But on most days? I'm just simply Kyungsoo. His fiancé who is going to just watch him do everything as he was tasked because he is the Crowned Prince. I'm just his significant other.

"I'll leave him to you for a bit. I think I'll take a small nap on the couch too, is that alright?" I was cut off by my thoughts, realizing that Jongdae was still here. I looked up to see him sitting on the couch, looking at me with his tired puppy eyes, waiting for my reply.

"Yeah, sure. Take a nap as well. I'll watch over him, don't worry." I replied with a smile, the valet nodded, taking his leather shoes off his feet, placing his socks inside them before positioning himself to lay on the couch. His head laid on the armrest, positioning himself into a C-Shape before closing his eyes and retiring to slumber as well.

Let's not forget that Mr. Kim Jongdae is also sharing the same burden as Chanyeol. The only difference is the tasks they are doing are different from each other. 

Kudos to these two though, despite being too busy at this age, they still manage to keep a smile on their faces and have a little fun around when they get the time.

I went back to checking up on Chanyeol, he hasn't moved an inch and is still comfortably sleeping on my lap. I started caressing his hair, his mouth suddenly closing and forming a small smile at my gesture.

He's half asleep, he can feel my touch. 

Go back to Dreamland big baby. You need it. 

I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, after a few, I decided to give him a gentle kiss in the head, just to make sure he feels safe and that he doesn't need to worry about waking up right away because he is with me.

Everything's going to be alright, Yeol.

I'm here. You're gonna be okay.

The silence was soothing in the Study Room, and not too long after, I too felt a little drowsy due to how comfortable and peaceful it was. After a few more caresses, I then laid my back on the chair, relaxed and comfortable, slowly closing my eyes and let myself take a small nap as well, since I also deserve it from overstressing about what was going to happen in the following weeks.

I need rest too, after all.

Soon, I will not be having this kind of peace as well.

There will a whole lot of stuff that I will be needing to attend to, now that I am somewhat a Royal as well.

Showing face to the public can be demanding, after all.

 

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Chanyeol's POV:

"Hnnggh. . . ." I grunted a little bit, my neck in a bit of an ache, I felt a light crack as I tried to lift my head a bit, I blink for a few times just to adjust my eyesight.

Ah. I can see the shelves on the side of my table. I can see the underneath of my table too.

Sleeping with my head facing sideways is giving another extra pain.

I already have stiff neck from sitting down on my study, slouching and writing down too many papers and homework. 

Not to mention sleeping in this kind of position.

I don't even know how long I was gone, I just suddenly passed out.

And I just really added another sore to my already aching neck.

My arms were a little numb, my head probably too heavy, too heavy that they decided to just die on me. I was about to lift my head further, wondering why I was sleeping on the floor, in a side sitting position, as I suddenly felt a soft push, something delicate, gently moving at the top of my tousled hair. 

I lifted my free hand, reaching out to it, trying to figure out what it was.

A hand.

I immediately figured who's hand it was. I tried to juggle into my scattered brain what has happened earlier that day, trying to remember why I ended up here end eventually dosed off.

Oh right. 

I was tired. Too tired in fact.

After doing the rounds, I immediately rushed back here. I was rushing because I wanted to take a short nap after going back to the Throne Room. Maybe a few minutes or so was my goal.

But I think, that's too late for that.

I slowly shuffled out of my lying position, gently placing the hand that was carding my messy locks comfortably on his lap. I sat with my kneed crossed, I stretched for a few, placing a hand at the nape to crack a few aching bones from my now stiffer neck, before finally looking up at the person I have been longing to see after a long day.

Kyungsoo.

He was sound asleep, probably deep into it because me shifting and getting up from laying on his lap didn't bother him an inch, his face positioned to the side, doe eyes beautifully closed. The chair was too big for his small frame, taking note that yes, I am a giant and he is a small, delicate angel -- and that is already a huge size difference.

He looks so regal.

He looks more of Royalty than I do.

I couldn't help but make out a small huff, as I smiled, marveling at the beauty of my beloved. He wasn't even wearing anything grand, he was still in his normal white button-up shirt, long sleeves folded up to the elbow to show how firm his muscles were. His skin looked so elegant, glowing under the moon light that spilled out from the large window from behind. 

His lips. 

Oh god yes, his lips.

I stood up, stretching once more, letting all the tiredness and the aches all go away. I walked a little more forward, closer to where Kyungsoo was, as I bent over to level with him, just to see his beautiful face.

I still can't believe it.

You're him, you really are actually him.

My hand made its way to his smooth face, as I caressed his cheek in small touches and circles. I just couldn't get my eyes off of him. I feel as though the moment I lose sight of him, I will breakdown and go crazy. 

His head moved a bit at the gesture, adjusting it before going back to his peaceful slumber, his eyes still pretty much shut. He was slightly facing me now, and I couldn't help but brush my thumb on his lower lip. 

Even at the feel of just his lips at a gentle touch, it still is so soft. Plump and just right to fit on my own when we kiss.

I smiled. Adoring his beauty, simple but breathtaking. Finally, I have got the time to fully grasp what he looks like in a more closer look, despite sleeping and living together on the same roof, I have never really had the chance to look at him more, since I was busy with all the obligations I had at hand.

"You're so beautiful, just as beautiful as the day you left." I whispered, my words ghosting at the small of his cheek. He didn't flinch, nor did he move, he was in a peaceful dream, and his brows didn't even furrow.

I finally have the time to look at him like this again.

The last time I did was when he slept on my lap when we were kids, that day, he told me he was so tired from soccer practice, and that he didn't want to attend any of the practices again because he was just forced to play. 

I proceeded to softly give him a kiss in his forehead, brushing away the remaining strands of that stuck on his temple. He feels so warm, I feel like I want him to literally be stuck with me all the time, like an oxygen tank, as if I would drown and stop breathing if he wasn't closer to me.

"I wonder, if you still remember me?" I spoke once more in a hushed voice. It's crazy how I manage to keep a conversation like this when no one is responding to me -- I guess it's just me being used to talking to myself most of the time inside my head or out loud, but that's just me. 

When I met Kyungsoo again during the time I chased him down the school halls, he looked at me as if he never met me, nor has he seen me before.

Makes me wonder what really happened after he left?

I guess maybe we were still too young to remember anything at all.

I thought, maybe Kyungsoo just needs a little road to memory lane, as I thought that it's too impossible for someone to forget a person that had a huge impact in their life, and knowing Kyungsoo who almost always remembers the little things about me, then he would probably remember who I was.

But, even the Secret Garden didn't pull any strings on him too. 

He never really mentioned as to how familiar the place was, I find it really odd that he just thinks it's a new secret hiding place he just found out earlier in the day.

"The Secret Garden, do you remember anything about it?" I asked one day, we were hanging out at the garden, having a small picnic. He stopped munching on his ham sandwich and shifted his attention to me.

He looked at me with a look that I can describe as clueless, like whatever that kind of question came out of my mouth, it was something he couldn't understand, like it was some kind of weird language.

". . . . What?" 

Cute.

"I said, do you know anything about the Secret Garden?" I rephrased the question.

"Chanyeol, all I know is that we had an argument on the first day I was here, and then  I found this garden and passed out." He looked at me, confused. One of his brow raised a little higher, his lips thinned, probably wondering where that came out from.

"Ahh, right. I was just teasing." Was all I can muster up as a reply before he continued chewing on his snack.

I looked around the room for a bit, and I saw Jongdae also snoozing off soundly at the couch. I chuckled lowly, seeing that he too was probably too exhausted from all the work he had done for the day, and decided to just retire here in the Study Room. I scanned the room for the extra blanket I kept in here, just in case I am too tired of going back into the bedroom and decide to slump my sleepiness here instead. When I found it hanging at the table beside my window, I immediately grabbed a hold of it, spread it open before comfortably placing it on my valet's whole body. I tucked the blanket, making sure it covered all the part of his body. He stirred a bit, adjusting his posture from a C-Shape to now laying on his back. 

"You had a long day too, huh? Sleep tight day. You deserve it." Was what I said before walking back to Kyungsoo.

Something must have really happened after he left. The day of my 12th Birthday. 

Kyungsoo really is the little boy I met back then, but why can't he remember me?

I snapped out my thoughts, deciding to do the task at hand. Without further effort, I carried my fiancé, up from the seat, starting with his legs and slowly getting a hold of his back. I made sure his head was in level with my broad shoulders, so that he could lay on it comfortably. 

When he was finally safe in my arms, I carried him out of the Study Room. I'm kinda glad I had such a long arm span for me to still be able to twist the door knob open, gently closing it so as to not make a sound. 

I set afoot towards our bedroom, but in a slow pace. I wasn't in a rush, and having Kyungsoo in my arms just makes me happy, and since I want to live in the moment, I will cherish this for as long as I want to.

But really though. 

I can't wrap my head up about this.

While I am happy that my childhood sweetheart is here with me, finally together with me, happy and in love --

It's still as if something is missing.

He doesn't remember me, more so, its as if he doesn't recognize me at all.

What happened, Kyungsoo?

When we finally reached our destination, and once we were inside, I lightly placed Kyungsoo on the bed. He immediately curled into a ball, he was so fast asleep that when he felt the softness of a pillow beside, he immediately grabbed onto it, hugged it like his life depended on it and probably went back to his dreams. 

I beamed at his sudden action, this side of him still hasn't changed on bit. He was still a child heart, and he still has a habit of hugging things unconsciously in his sleep, the same way he unconsciously just lie on my shoulders because it's a habit he has never let go of. 

I sat on the bedside, drowsiness gone from sleeping for the whole afternoon. I didn't even bother to check what time it was anymore. I stared at a blank distance, sighing in relief despite my mind thinking about a lot of things.

I think I just need a hot shower.

Yeah, I think that'll do for now.

I reached out for my towel that hanging at one of the small couches we had inside the bedroom, taking off my jacket and placing it on the same couch where my towel was. ped my pants and just threw it on the floor, with nothing left but boxers on me. 

Before making a beeline to the bathroom, I spared one last look at a sleeping Kyungsoo. At times I feel jealous at how he is able to sleep this peacefully every night, with no qualms or worries about the next day at all. 

Sometimes I wish my life was simpler, just like yours.

Sometimes I wish life was just normal. 

I combed the messiness of my curly hair, retreating to the bathroom for a shower. I twist the knob, water started dripping down my , adjusting it to the right temperature before going back to my thoughts. I slightly bumped my head into the tiled wall, still bothered and thinking about what to do and how to make him remember about me.

Maybe showing him some things in the past would make him remember?

Maybe showing him the flowers he really loved in that garden would to?

Ugh. This is hard.

I closed my eyes in defeat. It was just too difficult for me to muster on. Imagine a lover whom you have had a relationship with for years, and then suddenly, just because of how far your distances were, they suddenly forget about you -- but the worst was that they really do not recognize you at all.

Suddenly, there was as lightbulb moment for me, my eyes quickly opened at the conclusion that had dawned to me.

Has he. . . .

Oh god, I don't wanna say it.

But that would be the only probably answer.

Did he. . . .

Does he have amnesia?

. . . . .

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Author's Notes:

*Peeps* Hello? X'D

I am back? Hehe skjfgklsdjfklgj X'DDD

OH GAHD! I left this fanfic hangng for FOUR YEARS?!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA
 

Hello again ~!! I am finally back. AAAAAA I am really sorry my dear lovelies, for leaving this fanfic in a really REALLY bad cliffhanger ;; ________ ;; 

Adulting was really hard on me the past years, and knowing that the pandemic and the lockdown caused a lot of toll on my mental health, I decided to go on a loooonnggg hiatus from writing. Work was stressful, I didn't really have inspiration to write, and yes WRITER'S BLOCK. 

But alas! I feel so refreshed and inspired once again, seeing that my bois are back and later thier CREAM SODA MV WILL BE OUT I CAN'T HELP BUT ME MORE EXCITED AND HYPED THAN EVER AAAAAA <3 <3 

For the record, the reason why the ChanSoo spark rekindled in me again was because of the Hear My Heart Skip a Beat video? AHAHAHAHAH CHANYEOL WANTS TO BE TOUCHED BY KYUNGSOO I WAS SCREAAMING SLKJGFLKSDJFSKLJDFKLSD 

And happily enough, this time, I won't be leaving this fic ever!!! u w u <3 I already planned out the next following chapters and will update maybe on the next weekend of the weekend after. 

I miss you all so much!!!! And yes I MISS CHANSOO VERY MUCH. I AM SO HAPPY THEY HAVE INTERACTIONS NOW AAAA <3 > u <

Anyhow, enjoy the Part 2 of Chapter 21 my loves ~ This is just the calm before the actual storm ;) So sit back and relax shall we? Hehe <3

*Puing-Puing ~* Happy reading ~ ^^