Chanyeol’s POV:

 

Today was a good day.

 

I actually feel a bit lighter to in the process.

 

I am so excited to go back home.

 

I’ll be spending the weekend with Kyungsoo without any more distractions now.

 

Finally I get to see him more.

 

I rushed up to the exit of the school gates, seeing that my car has already been there waiting for me. The driver soon went in as he saw me approaching, and one of my bodyguards opened the door of the backseat as I continued on to get in.

 

“Where are we to go, Your Highness?” the driver asked as he looked at me through the rearview mirror.

 

“Take me home. I want to rest for the weekend.” And with a compliant nod, the driver started the engine and went on our way back home.

 

It wasn’t really that far, since the school was practically just a few minutes away from the Palace, more so like 20 – 30 minutes to be precise. I called my valet, Jongdae to pick me up in school, since I did really feel a slight wave of exhaustion come up to the corners of my spines after my long conversation with Baekhyun. I was pretty glad though, that Baekhyun was understandable enough to let me go.

 

I just hope I didn’t hurt him too much though.

 

I wanted him to realize that I do need a break from all of this.

 

I need to assess what I truly feel right now.

 

Sometime around, I have to at least confront these new found and weird feelings that I have.

 

Feelings, towards my fiancé.

 

Feelings for Kyungsoo.

 

I looked over to the window, trying to ease myself, sinking every calm feel into my nerves, as I have felt the relief of finally not having anything to worry about. It is, in fact also making me feel a bit heavyhearted, because of the sudden break-up me and Baekhyun had gone through, and I do know deep inside my heart, I can feel the slightest squeeze of pain ooze out from me. I can still feel the sting of the hurt, even though how many times I had to show him how strong I am, and since being a Prince requires no showcase of emotions – I knew, deep down that the moment I told Baek that I didn’t have feelings for him anymore, and the moment I asked him to return to me the Ring Band, I knew that despite that I wouldn’t have to have bigger problems with him in the future, I would still feel the surge of agony at the end of the day, the feeling of bidding the one you have loved for so long, goodbye.

 

I loved Baekhyun, I truly did.

 

But I guess over the time that I spent with him, knowing him even more ---

 

I guess the change and what he had become, made the love in me for him fade completely.

 

There were times before, in the comfort of loneliness in my study room; I would always try to convince myself that Baekhyun will always be the person that I will love dearly, no matter how the seasons will change.  That despite his sudden show of strong emotions towards the incident between me and Kyungsoo, I have always made myself think that Baekhyun, at the end of the day would understand the situation that I got myself into, I have always told myself to strengthen what we both had, because I thought it would be worth it in the end.

 

But after what he told me, I couldn’t get myself to feel that he didn’t even try to understand me in the first place.

 

“But you still did it. Your reputation still matters and is still important to you?”

 

“Does your reputation matter more than our relationship? Why are you being so selfish all of a sudden, Channie?”

 

Selfish?

 

Was I the selfish one?

 

Was I the selfish one to actually bring Kyungsoo into this mess I made, just to save my own reputation?

 

Was I the selfish one, to break up with Baekhyun just to finish the forbidden bond that we had so that we wouldn’t have any commitment and consequence to face in the future?

 

I couldn’t bring myself to ease, thinking that I have been selfish towards Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, selfish to just think of myself and save my own skin, without knowing that the cost of it would be the pain and hurt that they will receive.

 

But I wasn’t selfish towards Baekhyun.

 

I tried my very best, to my very effort to keep the relationship alive, even if me and Kyungsoo was already been engaged.

 

I tried to keep the love between us, making sure I at least see him once or twice a week, to make sure he won’t feel that I left him out and replaced him with someone else.

 

I loved him.

 

I loved Baekhyun.

 

I tried. I really did.

 

But I guess, the chances are, no matter how we both try to keep things alive for the both of us.

 

We would never be meant to be.

 

Rather, we weren’t fit for each other anyhow.

 

I was a Prince, he was the son of an Elder.

 

I was a criminal, he was nothing but an innocent angel.

 

I was supposed to suffer, he needed to be happy.

 

I wasn’t happy anymore, he was, but unrequited.

 

I didn’t want to make him hope for nothing and leave hurting and aching any further.

 

Which is why, I wanted to let go of him.

 

I know, deep within me, I wasn’t happy with him anymore, the love faded and was long gone, because of what he had showed me, and the greed of love he has for me ---

 

And maybe because ---

 

These feelings.

 

For Kyungsoo.

 

I closed my eyes, hoping that I could mentally get into my inner thoughts and emotions, not caring if the car was close to the Palace now or not. I tried to put myself to rest, just thinking about the paperwork that awaits me at home, or what Umma and Appa have to tell me by lunchtime again, just to actually throw the thought and worry away about Kyungsoo. It’s not easy to forget things like these, and what is more difficult is that I might not get any sleep because of this. I know I made a fuss, so I have to fix this and find a way to solve it, not just leave it rotting on cold stench. I have to come across my senses and get straight to the point with what I want with my damn life of a Royal.

 

“Chanyeollie?”

 

Kyungsoo’s voice is ringing in my head again.

 

When did this come into my head anyway?

 

“Should I wait for you? I can finish my homework while I wait. I can wait for you.”

 

Oh no, when did he actually dominate 75% of my thoughts now?

 

I opened my eyes from thinking, not sure of what I am supposed to express as my head was practically malfunctioning and not focused, because good to be true after the Engagement, my mind couldn’t let me rest with the thoughts of only Kyungsoo. I shook my head, as if that would actually let him out of my mind, but I couldn’t, I really couldn’t.

 

His eyes.

 

His face.

 

His smile.

 

His lips.

 

Gosh, this is so stressful.

 

These feelings, their so weird ---

 

Yet so warm, so calming. . .

 

So familiar.

 

I must be crazy to think that Kyungsoo can possible be ---

 

NO.

 

He can’t be.

 

And he can never be.

 

“Your Highness?” I heard the driver say, taking me out of my thoughts and snapped out of it. I blinked my eyes a few times only to realize that the car had already been put to a stop in front of the Palace Grounds as I looked back at the window.

 

“Ahhhh, yes, right, I’ll just have to wait for Jongdae to me.” I stared at him through the rearview mirror, as he gave me a silent nod and went out of the car then after.

 

“I wish you all the best with my best friend, Kyungsoo. Take good care of him.”

 

The last few words Baekhyun had said before we left on our separate ways, although we are still going to see each other during occasions and gatherings, I know that when we are able to meet again ---

 

Our eyes would meet once more as not that of lovers.

 

But are only mere gazes of childhood friends who will stay by each other’s side until the very end.

 

I just hope he finds someone that can love him better than I did.

 

I had my own fair share of mistakes, and so did he, but even so, I hope he finds what truly makes him happy.

 

And I hope I do find mine as well.

 

“Yo ~ Stop spacing out and get out of the car, your Royal Douche-ness.” I winced in shock to realize that I was on my own world once again. I looked on to the side to see the door has already been opened for me, with my valet’s head popping in front of me with a playful smirk.

 

“Aish, Jongdae-ah, you should have at least tried to poke me or tap me on the shoulder and not shock me like this.”

 

“I did tap you on the shoulder, handsome. But it seems like you’re really away from your body and left it to freeze here inside the car.” I gave way for me to get out of the car, as I tried to straighten up the creases on my jacket, fixed the snapback on my head as I proceeded to walk up to the Palace side by side with Jongdae. 

 

“How is everything here since I left? Does Appa know that I wasn’t here?” We walked up to the Royal House, where of course me and my family reside, just across the Temple. I walked around, scanning the place as if it wasn’t my own home, and I was but a foreigner in here.

 

“The King doesn’t know you left, so does the Queen. They’re busy with the Elders, discussing about the laws to be implemented by the parliament and what they could do to help and all.” Jongdae said as a matter of fact, placing his arms from behind, walking up ahead of me like how he really is as a valet – respectful, with high integrity and  even if he is just a valet, he could really pass, no, he could even be much better than I am.

 

He is, impressively, far more “Royal” than I am.

 

While I am more like a wrecking ball in the family if you know what I mean.

 

“Oh gosh, that’s good. I thought they wanted to summon me there. How about the others? Are things doing fine here? How’s Kyungsoo? I want to see hi – ”

 

“I don’t think this is the best time to see Kyungsoo, Chanyeol.” Jongdae stopped from walking, never looking back at me. I took note of the change of the tone of his voice, seemed serious and at the same time unsure.

 

“W-What do you mean I can’t see Kyungsoo this time?” I could feel a bead of sweat roll off from my forehead; my heart began to pound hard in my chest. I felt a sudden surge of worry, I didn’t know what had happened for the past few weeks that I haven’t seen him, and I don’t even know how has he been and what has he been doing ever since.

 

Is he mad at me for not seeing him or spending time with him?

 

Shouldn’t I be happy that he is longing for me after all this time?

 

Should I feel overwhelmed about this?

 

But why do I feel something different?

 

Like I don’t want what this is?

 

Guilt?

 

“Your Highness, it’s best for you to take on your responsibilities for this morning. Kyungsoo should be out of the picture, for now.” The valet looked back, his eyes read the feel of sadness and empathy, and I don’t know why he looks so glum right now.

 

“Jongdae, is there something that I need to know? What’s going on with Kyungsoo?”

 

“Like I said, Your Highness, you should go and do your morning duties for today, Kyungsoo is resting as of the moment, so it would be best that you do not disturb him.” Dae looked away, avoiding my gaze, looking on to the side, his brows began to furrow.

 

What the hell is going on?

 

What happened to Kyungsoo?

 

What is going on?

 

“Jongdae, tell me what is wrong with Kyungsoo?” Expecting an answer, but unfortunately led into deaf ears and unnerving silence. He lowered his head, still wasn’t looking at me as I felt like my mind has blown out of thoughts and ideas, soon gripping Jongdae’s arms on either side, locking him onto position.

 

“Is there something wrong? Tell me, Dae. Tell me? What is with the face? What is going on? What is wrong with Kyungsoo?” I shook him a bit, as if that would actually help and try to blurt out something from him. I felt so confused, at the same time I felt so pissed at him, and how he managed to, even as my very own valet, to not tell me what was actually going on. Moreover, he was even trying to shove the topic away, as if things regarding Kyungsoo weren’t important to me.

 

Or was it?

 

When has it been important to you, Chanyeol?

 

When did Kyungsoo become important to you?

 

“Chanyeol, just please.”

 

“Jongdae, what is wrong? What has gotten into you? I told you everything you need to know this morning, and now that I am asking about Kyungsoo, about my fiancé, you won’t tell me what it is. What happened? What is wrong?” Finally our gazes meet, only to make me feel a pang of hurt, as his eyes looked like it was beginning to water. I softened the grip on his arms, thinking that it might have been too tight and the pain stung, but that wasn’t the case, it was as if the growing tears were not because of my harsh actions – but was because of Kyungsoo.

 

He’s crying because of Kyungsoo.

 

What did happen to Kyungsoo?

 

I want to see him.

 

I have never felt this nervous and scared in my entire life before.

 

 “Dae, please, tell me, I want to kno – ”

 

“I think that won’t be necessary, Your Highness.” Another voice, boomed from elsewhere, I shifted my gaze away from my valet, only to look from behind me and did not expect the person that was walking towards us.

 

“You could let your assistant go now, or whatever it is you call him, he has nothing to do with what has happened to my brother.” Sehun stood up probably a meter away from where we are, as I let go of my grip of Jongdae for him to stand straight, letting my body turn to face the younger among us. His expression was deadpanned, more like he wasn’t interested with the drama that me and my valet showcased as he was probably waiting for me to focus my full attention to him.

 

“Jongdae, you can go for now. I’ll talk to you later.” I glanced back at Jongdae one more time before he gave me a nod, and soon bowed to me and Sehun before he walked away from the scene, passing by Sehun’s side and was gone in an instant.

 

“Do me a favor and at least pretend to care for my brother and not act as if he’s just another one of your lame subjects that you are obliged to work on.” Sehun began coldly, his facial expression never changing as he locked our sights together. It was as if it was just me and him left around this world, making sure that no one is supposed to disturb the talk between the both of us.

 

“What are you talking about? Of course I do cater Kyungsoo and he isn’t just one of my lame subjects, so to say.” I spoke with authority, with a little bit of impact just to make sure he gets my point, that I truly and really care for Kyungsoo and would not dare to just treat him as a mere subject for Royal purposes.

 

“Really? Then what about now? Trying to make him worry all day about you and seeing the gloom on his face makes me sick, Your Highness. With all due respect, but you are the reason why I haven’t seen a smile on his face for the past few weeks, and come up here telling me that you care for him?” He scoffed, his hands holding on to his waist as if what he heard from me was unacceptable. On my part, I felt a sudden ache in my chest, hearing that I was the reason why Kyungsoo hasn’t smiled and wasn’t happy, makes me feel like I am the worst person in the world to do it to him.

 

He wasn’t happy when I wasn’t around?

 

Kyungsoo.

 

I never knew you would feel this way.

 

I never knew that for so long that we have been apart, you would miss me.

 

You actually miss me.

 

I feel so happy but at the same time disappointed of myself for making you feel this way.

 

I have got to see you.

 

I feel so ashamed though, of not even having the sympathy or the thought of knowing that what I was doing all along would cause you to be sad and depressed.

 

I am so sorry, Soo.

 

“I do care for him. I really do. I admit that I was wrong for not telling him what I have been doing or how I was all the time and we seldom talk due to my busy schedule. I know it is my role as his fiancé to watch over him, and him to watch over me as well.” I scratched the back of my neck, looking away from Sehun, practically feeling bad about what I have done, and looking at him in the eye won’t do any good, since I admit I was guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

 

“I doubt you do, Your Highness. I doubt even that you know what my brother has been going through recently and even this morning, I couldn’t forgive myself to even the my brother like this. I don’t want to point fingers, but I guess I have no choice but to put the blame on you.” Sehun shrugged, as if the words he said were so easy to mean. Of course, it was a slap in the face, at the same time atrocious to be even heard by the human ear.

 

This guy, he really is Kyungsoo’s brother.

 

Only more emotionless and unforgiving, he lacks sympathy and probably will say anything he wants to say even if it hurts for others.

 

Straightforward to be exact.

 

“What do you mean put the blame on me? What has been happening with Kyungsoo that I do not know of?” I was eager to know, I didn’t even have a clue or two of what has been happening in the Palace this morning since I left. I couldn’t calm my senses down anymore for the least, with the thought of actually having Kyungsoo depressed and sad all of a sudden since I was missing in action.

 

And all the while I thought everything will be just fine.

 

But I guess I was wrong.

 

You wouldn’t know what a person would feel after a sudden disappearance of someone.

 

Most especially when his mind is so unpredictable like Kyungsoo’s.

 

I wouldn’t blame him for it though.

 

“It seems to me like you’re actually playing dumb, Your Highness. But since you are the Prince, and I am just a commoner, then so shall I tell you what you need to know as per order.” Sehun sounded pissed, I knew from the growing tension between us, even if his tone hasn’t changed since the first time we talked. Even as I have observed him the first time I met him on the day I told him to stay at the Palace, he was a man of less faces, less expression. He is, so to say, a much better example of what a Prince should actually be, to keep the same uninterested, serious face just for publicity’s sake. And even as he isn’t a Royal as I am, it’s like he can muster that kind of face for the year if we wants to, and not  try to draw a single emotion from it.

 

He’s good at keeping that face like that.

 

He’s really good at keeping it up.

 

“Don’t insult me like I am just one of your friends in school now, Sehun. I am not ordering you tell me nor do you have the right to question my authority as a Prince. It is of your free will if you want to tell me or not. Even as you call yourself a commoner, I have no such right to actually command you of what to do not unless you are – ”

 

“Not unless I am under the Palace rules and because I am working for the Royals, blah blah blah, yeah I already know that. Jongin tells me that all the ing time, and I am sick and tired of all those ty honorifics and whatsoever respect you guys have under your gut, now can we just please talk like normal people like what normal people do?” He cut my short of my words, rendering me speechless after his own protest. He was making hand gestures by then, more like emphasizing “normal people” at the end of his question.

 

He’s mad, I can tell.

 

He has a point though, why do the Royals need to talk in a more formal way to people they already know when they can just talk comfortably since they know them?

 

I never realized that until he spoke it out. Good job.

 

But wait a minute, did he just say Jongin?

 

The Prince Jongin?

 

So they’re basically friends?

 

In good vibes?

 

How did these two get along well with each other?

 

I have to contemplate on those matters later.

 

But for now, I am more worried about Kyungsoo as of the moment.

 

“Very well then. We’ll talk normally as you want it to be how normal it is, whatever normal means for you.” I shrugged, making him facepalm and at the same time shake his head as if I wasn’t still doing a good job with the normal talking.

 

“Well, just talk normal like this, I mean what the have you guys ever swore in your entire ing life? Like how boring can this Prince life be?”

 

“Don’t worry, I know how to ing swear, it’s just that I don’t want anyone around the premises to ing hear me because I might get ing scolded because it isn’t ing allowed, I hope you do remember that I have ing ty duties that I cannot run away from and I hope you ing understand how ing difficult it is to cope with all at once. And I hope this is too ing normal to you now.” His jaw dropped after I gave up all my formalities and respect as a Prince, just to let him that despite the fact that I was born in blue blood, I am still human, and I am still a normal human being, a person in general. I wanted him to know the reason why I was different was just because I was born as a Prince, a title that not everyone in Korea gets in their lifetime or even in their birth certificates.

 

Which is why most of the time, I apologize in the back of my very mind that I was born as the Prince, and I am really sorry it a mess up, one-hit punch in the face kind of guy like me was even chosen to be the Crowned Prince and be the next to my father’s heir.

 

“Okay, okay, chill. I am sorry, okay? I just really hate calling people names like ‘My Lord’ or what the do they think they are they’re still just people and why can’t I call them with names?” He scratched the nape of his neck, his nose scrunching from confusion and practical annoyance that made me feel a little bit lighter as I laughed at his retort.

 

“You have quite the sense of humor, well, you will understand this soon once your brother also becomes a Royal himself when he marries me.”

 

“Hold that thing up, marry you? Wait a minute; now that I remember what I am supposed to ask, are you sure you LOVE my brother?” It was as if his question had hit me on the face, making my mouth close shut. I pondered on the question in my head, wondering how Sehun would have figured out about me and his brother that only got engaged because we had to deal with the situation and not get engaged because we fell in love with each other.

 

Does he already know about what happened between me and Kyungsoo?

 

Did Jongin tell him about it?

 

I don’t think he knows, his concern was all about Kyungsoo being depressed all of a sudden.

 

If so, then why is Kyungsoo depressed while I was away?

 

Could it be that Kyungsoo. . . Do Kyungsoo ---

 

I don’t understand the turn of events right now, I really don’t.

 

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do. Why would I get engaged with him if I don’t love him?” There was a slight cringe in my gut as I have said those words. I don’t understand if it’s because of the fact that I was lying, or because I was in fact lying, but the the whole phrase wasn’t a lie entirely anymore.

 

It’s not a lie, is it Chanyeol?

 

Aish, I still need to get my feelings assessed.

 

I don’t understand.

 

“Okay, let’s say you love him then, then tell me about your current relationship with his best friend, hm?”

 

Oh good riddance.

 

Wait a minute, how did he - ?

 

Oh no.

 

I stood there, frozen. My body was like pure stone as I heard the words spill from Sehun’s mouth. My eyes widened, my gaze couldn’t get off Sehun’s as I felt my heart beat even faster, being caught off-guard and red-handed at the same time.

 

“H-How did y-you –?” I was once again speechless, gulping probably a large amount of spit down to my throat as I couldn’t believe what he had said. I shook my head a little, as if that would actually help me wake up from the reality that I have been captured of my hidden secret.

 

“Kyungsoo-hyung left this morning. He was obviously worried about you the moment I went into your shared room. He looked like he was about to die without seeing you another day. He said it’s been, like what? Three weeks in total? Since the both of you actually talked and hung out?” He shrugged, counting up the weeks me and Kyungsoo hasn’t been seeing each other with his fingers. He made another sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shook his head, as if he was disappointed with what I have done.

 

“Prince Chanyeol, he looked like he was going to throw up the moment he woke up without seeing you beside him in bed. He couldn’t calm himself down; his curiosity won’t suffice with him just waiting for you all day until you get back to him. He went to find you this morning, and guess what, he went home running inside and crying like lost his year supply of jajangmyun or something.”

 

Kyungsoo –

 

He saw, everything?

 

He saw how I broke up with Baekhyun.

 

He was looking for me, to find out that I was actually having an affair with someone else.

 

I am the cruelest person to make him cry like this.

 

I feel so ashamed of myself.

 

Why must I always mess everything up?

 

“I-I. . . I am r-really s-sorry. . .” I looked away; I couldn’t have the guts to even face Sehun, right now that the secret has finally been revealed. And for the record, of all the people to actually know first, it was Kyungsoo who new first hand.

 

Maybe this was why Jongdae couldn’t speak to me about it a while ago.

 

Had have seen Kyungsoo crying as he entered the Palace Grounds.

 

I feel so horrible right now.

 

“But hey, I am not mad at you or anything. I forgive you actually.” I raised my head up, wondering how in the world can he comfortably just say that so easily. He gave a sincere smile, the first ever expression he has shown to me since an hour ago maybe, as he walked towards me and gave a pat on my shoulder.

 

This guy seriously.

 

He’s like the most chill guy I have ever met so far.

 

And to think he pats me at the shoulder for comfort, as if we were the best of friends since 3^rd grade.

 

I think I’ll like this guy.

 

“What do you mean you forgive me?”

 

“Well, I am not in the right position to get really mad at you, since I don’t really know you that well for me to pinpoint what you’ve actually done wrong to my hyung, or probably there was something that hyung actually did that made you want to love someone else.” He wrapped his hands around my shoulder, as if what we were talking about are just simple problems in life to live by. Instead of making the ambience feel a bit more of the tension, he practically chose to cut it off, assuring me that it was in fact my fault, but it wasn’t something major for him to eventually choke me to death.

 

“I don’t want to be that kind of person to prejudge. I am not that kind of someone who would just assume things ahead without knowing the facts or the real reasons why, the truth to make it simple.” I looked to my side, seeing his shoulders shrug again, looking up at the sky, and probably trying to appreciate the noon time.

 

He is like one of those matured people I have actually encountered before.

 

Understanding, forgiving and will want to know the truth first before trying to condemn.

 

He might be younger than I am, but he knows a lot of things way more than I do.

 

Now, I am probably thinking that he actually suits being a Prince more than I am to be fit in this position.

 

“I am just making theories of my own right now, like maybe Kyungsoo wasn’t really doing efforts for you, since he’s being such a princess sometimes, or maybe because he isn’t really showing some love for you or take actions to show how much he loves you, or maybe he isn’t really sweet enough for your ta – OUUUUUCCCCHHHH HEY?!!!” I punched him lightly on the chest; hopefully it was light enough for him to at least feel a bit of pain, to actually keep his mouth shut. I could really feel my cheeks begin to heat up as my thoughts ran through voicing out the last phrase he said.

 

“Don’t call your brother without a hyung at the end, you’re the youngest. And please, that’s not the reasons why. I broke up with Baekhyun anyways.” I took his arm off my shoulder, fixing the edges and the creases as I stood straight back up. I saw his expression change from smiling to actually his jaw dropping as his eyes widened in shock.

 

“Hu-Wait, you mean to say?”

 

“Yes, the reason why I met up with Baekhyun today was not because we were seeing each other, but because I broke up with him.” I raised my brows as if it was already something I moved on to for a fast span of hours, as if it was just a break up and nothing was really to talk about. He brushed his hair up, shaking his head in disbelief, scoffing at me as he looked around various directions.

 

“Ommo, Really? I thought you guys were really into the relationship.”

 

“Oh you tell me, we were. Past tense. I held on to him before me and Kyungsoo got engaged, since we didn’t really have a proper meet up and we didn’t got the chance to talk about it since I was always busy with ing everything. This was the only time I got to say it to him face to face. I know it has been a little bit too late, but what can I do? I can’t just slack off and escape responsibilities as much I really want to.” I tried to meet his gaze, hoping that he would understand my side of the situation, although I partially lied. For the fact that even before me and Kyungsoo got engaged, I already had this relationship with Baekhyun, and there was never something between me and Kyungsoo in the first place.

 

There wasn’t, right?

 

Or there really is?

 

Like now?

 

Gosh, Chanyeol.

 

“So that means, when you and Kyungsoo became an item, you were supposed to already break up and tell Baekhyun but didn’t have the time to do so and you just had this blessed chance of doing it today? Well how cool is that, you’re life really , I swear. No freedom, always work and whatever you do. Man, must be hard.” Sehun stated with a nod as a response. I really felt a little pressure now, since Sehun understood, buying my own reason and believed in it. I feel a bit guilty, yes, but as someone as he it, I didn’t want him to know the full story yet, as I have no right to tell him what actually happened without Kyungsoo’s consent.

 

“Yeah, practically that’s actually what happened.”

 

“Ohhh, now I get it. And like the past few weeks you were just busy and actually finding ways to meet up with Baekhyun. I see. But wait a minute, how did you and Baekhyun meet?” He placed a finger on his lips, his eyes squinting as he looked curious as to how I actually met Baekhyun. I gave out a breathy chuckle as I scratched the back of my neck.

 

He looks like Kyungsoo when he squints his eyes like that.

 

I wonder if he also has bad eyesight.

 

“Oh, Baekhyun is my childhood friend, he usually visits me in the Palace before to play games. Well he does come often unlike now, since his father also works for my Appa.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait – BAEKHYUN-HYUNG’S DAD WORKS HERE?!!” Sehun seemed even more shocked as I told him this, even as I knew Baekhyun is a matter of fact a son of an Elder, I felt so outraged knowing that Sehun didn’t know all of this.

 

“You didn’t know Baek is a son of an Elder? Working for my Appa in this palace?”

 

“No Sherlock, he has never told me that before. He has never told Kyungsoo that before. And he has never mentioned himself being a son of a whatsoever works here in the Palace, all I know is that he’s really a rich kid with a fabulous house and a diva personality.” I laughed at the younger’s comment, making me feel a lot better. Baekhyun, as far as I have known him has always been like that, bratty, a drama queen, but most of the time humorous and fun to be with.

 

What a curious thing to ponder on though.

 

Baekhyun never told Kyungsoo that he was a son of an Elder?

 

And probably Kyungsoo never knew that I knew Baekhyun all along?

 

I thought they were best friends?

 

“Well yeah, he is. I never really expected that he never told you.”

 

“Well, that is something we have to find out soon, but I don’t really know. Anyways, what matters most right now, is to actually get in terms with Kyungsoo and tell him the truth. I probably think he doesn’t even know that you had a relationship with Baekhyun before you guys became a thing.”

 

Oh well, Sehun if you only knew.

 

If you only knew how I actually met your brother.

 

How I actually began to feel these weird things when I am around him.

 

“I want to talk to him even, where is he?” I asked him, my brows furrowed, feeling the surge of worry come back to me, thinking of Kyungsoo all over again.

 

"Well okay, I’ll give you this one chance to actually try and make it up with him. He’s in your room right now, resting. He’s probably awake already. You gotta give him a go.” He pointed his thumb from behind him, probably signaling me to give it a go. I gave him a gentle smile and a nod, before excusing myself as I passed by his left.

 

“Oh and one more thing, if I get to know you better and you begin to hurt him again. I won’t hesitate to punch your insides until you die.” I turned around a bit to see a smirk plastered on his face as he said those words, contagious as it is I smirked back at him and gave him a determined nod.

 

“Don’t worry, the next thing you’ll know, he will have the brightest smile when he’s on my side.” After a few seconds I rushed off to where our shared room was. Bracing myself for the best and for the worst. Mostly for the worst, that is. As I finally arrived and was standing in front of the door, I gave out a prolonged inhale, and exhaled deeply short after, conditioning myself to stay strong and to be at ease.

 

Okay Chanyeol, you can do this.

 

You can do this.

 

Whatever happens, whether good or bad, just deal with it.

 

I opened the door to out our shared room, walk past the small bar and the living room, and soon was in front of the bedroom door, as I twisted the knob slowly open.

 

“Kyungsoo?” I whispered faintly, as I peeked my head in to the room. It was dark, he probably didn’t want to open the lights since the sun was shining brightly out the large window. I took my step inside the room, glancing around until I have found the only person that I was looking for.

 

Kyungsoo.

 

He was standing on the right end of the bed side, staring at the nightstand. His eyes looked like it didn’t have a tinge of life as he stared at the pictured frame blankly. I looked down to examine what picture it was in the frame, my brows began to furrow again at the sight of the picture stuck inside the clean frame.

 

It was a picture of me and Baekhyun, during our junior high school years.

 

I didn’t know where he actually found it, but maybe much to me forgetfulness; he had found it inside the cases of the nightstand. I can see his right hand holding the side of the frame, feeling the texture up and down as it was something new to him.

 

I can really feel my heart aching.

 

More so, I think its breaking.

 

What have I done?

 

I slowly walked towards where he was, not even daring to make a sound, when suddenly I felt a pair of eyes dart his attention at me, making me look up to meet the gaze that I was longing to see for so long.

 

Oh my gosh, Kyungsoo.

 

His eyes were b with tears again, his face was turning red, the ends of his heart-shaped lips curved downward into a frown. I stopped from where I was standing, in the middle of the bed at the end of the footboard. I feel like I was stuck in glue, like cement in your feet to keep you in place and not let you go further. I wanted to go near him, hug him and tell him how sorry I was about what had happened. I wanted to explain to him what was the story behind it, but it seems like his gaze kept me locked in just standing here, with my mouth shut and just looking at him, crying.

 

“H-How l-long? How long d-did you know B-Baekhyun?” His vice was cracking, sore and a bit breathy. I have guessed he had been crying so much, and I couldn’t even get myself to look at him straight in the eyes as I felt a wave of guilt hover over my whole thoughts and emotions.

 

Why did I have to hide this from him?

 

I feel as though I have cheated on him.

 

I think, I actually did.

 

“He’s been my childhood friend, we were best friends ever since we were little.”

 

“And you didn’t even have the consideration to at least tell me?” His shoulders were shaking, a mere reminder that he was about to break down in tears once again. I tried to walk a step forward, but to my disappointment when Kyungsoo saw me moving, he immediately tried to back from any more close distance between us.

 

Why do I feel kind of hurt with this?

 

Chanyeol, what have you done?

 

“No wonder I always felt like Baekhyun was hiding something from me. He lied to me, t-telling me that h-he only had a c-crush on you, as if it was i-infatuation, b-but no. . .” He looked away from me; he closed his eyes, beginning to sob. He covered his mouth with his left palm to keep the weeping in. I gripped tightly onto the fine fabric on my chest, feeling my heart sink at the sight of my fiancé crying for the mistake that I have done.

 

Was this the cause of not seeing him for the past weeks?

 

It’s all my fault, Kyungsoo is so fragile that I didn’t know this would hurt him bad.

 

I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

“It w-would have been o-okay, if you were j-just honest with me, to t-tell me that Baekhyun was a-actually supposed to be your r-real fiancé.”

 

“Kyungsoo, I. . .”

 

“No!!! Y-You listen to me, y-you and B-Baekhyun lied to me, b-both of you lied to me?!!!”

 

“Kyungsoo, I am so sorry. . .” I can feel my eyes start to burn, sight begins to blur as I feel tears accumulating. Kyungsoo couldn’t even dare to look at me in the face anymore.

 

“It’s fine, if y-you would have been h-honest. I wouldn’t m-mind you and B-Baekhyun t-together, but what’s painful is that you never t-told me, and y-you never said a word since the last f-few weeks y-you were gone.”

 

My breathing was uneven, I can feel my heart squeeze so tight like it was about to lose all the blood flowing in and out of it. I lowered my gaze to the floor, now feeling so small and so horrible at what I have done.

 

I should’ve told Kyungsoo sooner.

 

He had the right to know.

 

And I was one of those who deprived him of the truth.

 

It’s all my fault.

 

“N-Now I know w-why you never s-showed up, y-you never left a m-message or e-even a note, am I really that of a b-burden to you?” I can feel him staring at me, his eyes burn with anger and pain. I couldn’t blame him, I knew he would feel hurt the moment he knows of the truth.

 

“No, no you are not a burden to me Kyungsoo. . .”

 

“Ah, you’re just s-saying t-that because I am still y-your fiancé. I s-shouldn’t even cry about this. I know I d-don’t m-matter to you, and I am just a r-responsibility that you need to f-finish.” I looked up to him, soon he was walking passed by my side.

 

“Kyungsoo, please just listen to me.” I help on to his arm, trying to stop him, begging him to let me explain. But to my dismay he immediately waved my hand away, and did not even dare to turn back and look at me anymore.

 

”It’s okay, Chanyeol. I know, t-that this is just a d-deal, and t-that we should just get on with this and f-finish it. And when t-this ends it’s like nothing happened and w-we can go back to our normal lives.” He had already stopped crying, but as young as he is, his stuttering was still there, making his sweet, soft voice crack, like a piano that had broken it strings from the inside.

 

“Kyungsoo, no please. . .”

 

“You know what? I guess Baekhyun was r-right, I shouldn’t h-have trusted my emotions. B-But don’t worry, I’ll be fine. This p-pain will go away fast. W-Why should I care? I don’t mean anything to you.” He looked back, scoffing at me as he shrugged his shoulders.

 

No.

 

Please no.

 

Don’t say such things.

 

You mean everything to me.

 

“And besides, w-why does it have to matter? W-What matters most for you will always b-be yourself and you as the Prince. All you really care about is your r-reputation and w-what you want. I don’t mind, I mind as well help you with that. Don’t w-worry soon, this engagement thing will be over, and you and Baekhyun c-can live happily e-ever after.” I shook my head, disapproving all the words that he was blurting out right now, I feel so anxious, so empty.

 

Please, don’t say those things.

 

You matter to me, you always do.

 

I ---

 

I don’t want this thing between us to end.

 

“Oh, and by the way, I’ll still be your good ol’ friend, I won’t let you down, as promised. Even if you broke yours, I’ll still try my best to pretend as your fiancé and to be a friend to you when you need me. But don’t expect me too much, because I won’t be the friend who will always be there for you. You don’t deserve my trust anymore. You’re being too selfish.”

 

Kyungsoo, stop this.

 

Please.

 

“And don’t worry – I don’t love you, and I never will have feelings for you, Prince Chanyeol.”

 

Silence encompassed the room, Kyungsoo walked out of the room, leaving the door with the only sound to be heard as it closed shut. I was the one now who was staring blankly at the floor, as I felt my legs grow weak and jelly, making myself hold on to the footboard for balance.

 

Tears were streaming down my eyes.

 

Kyungsoo. . .

 

This is all my fault.

 

I hurt him too bad.

 

This hurts so bad.

 

I can’t get myself to think anymore.

 

This was the second time I felt pain too much. The first one was when my beloved left and now ---

 

Kyungsoo left me.

 

And it’s all my fault.

 

Never have I cried this hard again, never have I felt endless tears streaming down on my face.

 

The last time I ever cried, I was 13-years of age, the day of my birthday.

 

When he left, without leaving a word.

 

And now here I am, crying the same way I did before.

 

But now because Kyungsoo left.

 

But because.

 

He didn’t love me back.

 

I can feel my heart aching, aching for Kyungsoo. The pain is evident and painful. I can feel it squeeze for the entirety of just bringing back the time, where I didn’t meet Kyungsoo at all. To bring back the time where I never should have chased him down the corridors and claim him as my own.

 

I wanted to bring back the time where I didn’t tell him where I was, where I didn’t sent him a single note or message to what I was doing or where I was, I wanted to go back to the time where I was hiding because of my secret relationship with Baekhyun, and would have the strength or even the smallest of guts to tell Kyungsoo the truth.

 

But it’s too late.

 

What’s done has been done.

 

I couldn’t fix things and bring everything back to where it was.

 

He cared, he truly cared.

 

Kyungsoo cared for me so much, I took him for granted.

 

I sat down on the floor, my legs folded, hugging them as I buried my head on my knees. This time, this very time, I will make myself cry, cry everything out – the stress, the problems, the mistakes, the pain, the ache and the hurt.

 

My thoughts were nothing right now, but all it could ever ring out, were the last few words Kyungsoo had said before leaving the room.

 

“I don’t love you…”

 

You don’t. . .

 

But I do.

 

I love you.

 

I love you, Kyungsoo.

 

---

 

Author’s Note:

Hey guys!!!

//hugs all of you ~

I am deeply sorry for the super 90000000x late update 3
I had a hard time formulating what this chapter should be all about L

But nevertheless, this chapter is dedicated to Chanyeol ~ <3

//Have you guys watched Star Show 360? *wink wonk* OMGEE TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THE CHANSOO PARTS XDD

And since I am depressed for the past few days, due to family reasons.

Well since we’re at it, have you guys ever been a “black sheep” of the family? XD

Well those are my problems, and I am getting so fed up and depressed, especially when they call me CRAZY and DIFFERENT in an insulting way ^^”

But nonetheless, I am fine ~ I am not the type of depressed person to cut myself. I usually cry it all out but sometimes the pain in your chest really hurts no? ^_^

Ahahaha anyways, I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter T u T <3

 

I tried my really best ~

 

I’ll probably update sooner at the end of the month (I REALLY HOPE), since I have less responsibilities at school now ~ XD

 

Anyways, thanks for always being there for me to make me happy ~

 

Happy Reading ~!!!
 

*puing-puing ~ ^^*