Even though I did not get into the team that I wanted the most, instead of moping around, I decided that I should give it my all and improve myself in the area I am placed in. The first project was to create a new concept for wedding shoot and everyone from the team can propose and present their ideas to the manager. This was the chance for me to show my talent and skills, to gain the recognition, in hope that my manager will recommend me to the magazine team. As I was still fairly new to the team, I consulted with a senior team member, Hye Won about the past concepts. She was friendly as she showed me a compiled albums of wedding photos taken over the past few years. I studied each page carefully, analysing the trends and concepts that were being used.

One recurrent theme is nature and natural makeup. Many of the bride and groom were pictured on a wheat field, garden, park, sunset, mostly outdoor. Hence I came up with the idea of utilising indoor more to create more dramatic scenes that is not mainstream or overused. Since most of the theme had natural tones and colour, I was thinking of using bold colours more like red, orange and yellow for the makeup. Instead of having nature as background, I wanted to use movie scenes backdrop to depict a story. The photos can also be compiled to make it into a movie or short clip for the clients. I wanted some feedback so I went to discuss with Hye Won. After listening to my explanation, she agreed that it will be a good idea but it is not feasible as most bride will not deviate too much from the norm and it is unlikely for manager to pick it. “It is bold but it will not be realised,” she frowned as she told me to change my idea. I nodded, thinking that I will have to start from scratch again.

On Friday, we had to present our ideas. Miss Kim asked for a volunteer to kick start and an intern enthusiastically raised his hand to do. His idea was to make use of time lapse to create day and night photoshoot with the use of back in the olden day fashion style and progress into modern day fashion styles. I find it quite interesting and Miss Kim commented, “Not bad, we can consider that, who wants to go next?” As I was no longer confident with my second idea, I wanted to push off presenting my lame idea. Hye Won raised her hand to go. “I came up with the concept of movie-based photoshoot. Making use of bold and dramatic colour makeup, it will enhance the mood of the scene…” While listening, I am thinking that this is too similar to my idea, it is my idea! I can feel that my face started to heat up as I told myself to keep calm.

“I know that this idea might be too daring but I feel that there is a niche market out there where some wants to attempt a new concept…” Wow, I cannot believe what Hye Won said. She shot me down when I explained the idea, now, she uses marketing terms to back her, no, my idea up. “That’s a good idea, I quite like it, good work Hye Won ssi!” I can no longer contain my anger and frustration. “Miss Kim, I will like to say that it wasn’t Hye Won’s idea. It was mine! I was the one who came up with it but she stole it. What a liar!” I raised my voice in front of everyone as I jumped out of my seat. “No, Rhiannon, even though I discussed the idea with you, it is not yours. It is my idea, Miss Kim,” Hye Won argued. “Stop, I do not want to hear any of this. Both of you sit back down and the rest can continue with their presentation.” Miss Kim said in a firm tone.

As the presentation finished, Miss Kim ordered the both of us into the office. “I don’t care who came up with the idea but a good idea is a good idea. I will choose the most suitable one after some consideration. What is wrong that you two had to make a commotion in front of the team. It looks bad.” “Yes I am sorry, I will reflect on myself, Miss Kim,” Hye Won promised quickly. “Good, you can leave now Hye Won.” “Rhiannon, I believe that you were out of the line. You should not complain or expose your senior in front of everyone. That is very disrespectful and rude. It shows bad team spirit and makes people gossip. Did you understand what you have done wrong?” Miss Kim asked me while pushing her glasses up. “Yes, I was rash. But shouldn’t you find out who was the one who came up with the idea? It is unfair that Hye Won used my ideas as her own and…” I argued. “Stop, stop, I do not want to listen to this. You are a new member; you should observe the seniority in our team. Even if she took your idea, so what? You should bow down to her and thank her for taking your idea seriously.” I rolled my eyes in my mind. Is this what Korea work environment is like? up to the top and sacrifice your own for others? “Miss Kim, I do not agree what you said. Even if it was you who presented my idea, I would have still make a complaint. I do not cower under power if it is unfair. “Rhiannon!” Miss Kim’s voice came out louder than she expected as shock was evident on her face. “If that is the case, I don’t think you fit in our team. Our team needs a respectful and mature member.” Miss Kim said, this time, taking caution in ensuring that she is calm. “I see.” I replied as a matter of fact. “I will have a talk with the head manager and let you know what will happen next.” I looked at her straight in the eyes, bowed and uttered under my breath.

I dragged my feet towards the hotel. What a horrible day it was. I experienced all negative season of emotions in one day. Anger, disgust, disappointment and betrayed. I filled the bathtub with hot water while I undressed. I poured some lavender essential oil into the hot water and lit some vanilla-scented candles. I let myself sink into the water, letting the warm water cover my body like a comforting blanket. I closed my eyes as I stayed underwater for a minute. Emptying my mind, emptying those negative emotions and experience. I the spa mode and let the strong spray of water hit all my tensed muscles. I stayed in the water until it grew cold. I stood up lazily as I unplugged the tub. I watched the water spiral down the drain, gushing gradually like bad thoughts, feelings, going away. I blowed dry my hair with my back facing the mirror. I did not even want to see my own reflection. I skipped dinner and hopped onto my bed. I just need a good night sleep to wash everything away.

“Ri ah, Rhiannoooooon!” Bona chirped happily as she entered our room. She started to talk about her fantastic day and how her team was amazing and her idea was well-received. “You know, we even went for a team meeting, the manager shouted us to Korean barbeque…” Her voice was droning on and on as my eyelids grew heavy as lead. “Ri On, are you listening to me?” Bona asked. “I am going to sleep, sorry…” I murmured. “But it is only 11pm and it is a Friday night! I still haven’t finish my story yet!” “I am sleepy, goodnight.”