For as long as Jimin can remember, whenever Jungkook was hurt, Jimin was the first one there. He just can’t take it when his precious boy is hurt. Even now, after breaking up and convincing himself that he hates the younger boy with all his might, it does make his heart skip a beat with panic once he hears Jungkook is in the hospital. His Jungkook is hurt. The phone call came from Namjoon, the one listed as Jungkook's emergency contact but the leader is unable to go see the maknae because he's already with his parents in his hometown. Namjoon said they didn't know what condition Jungkook is in, just that he's unconscious and that's what worries Jimin the most. They don't know what his condition is. 

What if he has some internal bleeding? Or brain damage? What if he will die and Jimin will never be able to say he's sorry for breaking up with him? What if he'll never be able to get Jungkook back?

Wait, no.

He doesn't want Jungkook back. Jimin hates Jungkook for all the younger did to him. He doesn't want him back.

"Jimin, are you coming? We need to go to the hospital", Hoseok says with a serious expression filled with concern, not really caring that Jimin might not want to see Jungkook because they're still band mates and family and if one of them is hurt, all of them will care for him.

"Yeah", Jimin mumbles after debating with himself for a moment. It doesn’t matter that they broke up. It doesn't even matter if they hate each other, Jungkook is hurt and Jimin is always there when the younger needs him. He will be there now as well.

"It's gonna be okay, he'll be fine", Jimin hears Hoseok whisper to Taehyung in the backseat of their van five minutes later. Jimin leans his head against the window and looks out. Even though he’s happy for the two, he can’t help but feel a little hurt. Of course he’s jealous. Jimin misses having someone there to comfort him, having someone to comfort.

Did he make a somewhat rushed decision breaking up with Jungkook? Wasn’t it a little harsh, especially since he didn’t let the younger explain?

"They don't know that. You don't know that", Taehyung just murmurs back. Hoseok sighs. Jimin’s still lost in his thoughts, trying to figure out whether he made a mistake breaking up or not.

"It's Jungkook. The kid is barely human, there's no way a car accident would take him down. You know him." Jimin can hear Taehyung let out a breath, kind of like a concerned laugh if that makes any sense.

“You’re gonna talk to him, right? When he wakes up”, Hoseok asks but it takes a while for Jimin to realize the question was for him.

“I… I don’t know yet.”

“You know he’s gonna need you. I talked to him last night when I came home”, Taehyung says, “He wants you back.” Jimin’s not surprised. It’s been only a few days since their breakup anyways but he still feels a little… Bad? Good? He doesn’t really know. Wasn’t his reason for breaking up with Jungkook that he didn’t think the younger loved him? Why isn’t he surprised that Jungkook wants him back? Why does Jimin feel unsure again? He’s just going to decide once he sees Jungkook.

That’s a terrible decision. Never, never make up your mind about getting back together with someone while you see them hooked up in wires in a hospital bed, unconscious. That’s the worst idea ever. Of course you want them back when you see that they’re hurt. It’s no different for Jimin. His heart drops at the sight of Jungkook, looking so vulnerable and so weak. For some reason Jimin thought he'd walk into the sight of a Jungkook covered in blood with nurses and doctors around him shouting that 'we're losing him' but the room is empty and Jungkook only has a few bruises and cuts on his face. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady and slow.

"We won't be able to confirm his condition until he wakes up. Until that happens I suggest you keep him company and talk to him, see if he'll wake up", the doctor doesn't come in. His voice is official, and quite frankly has no feelings. Jimin catches the panicked look Taehyung throws at Hoseok when the doctor says 'if he wakes up'. 

What if he doesn't? J

imin doesn't dare to ask. He doesn't dare to ask if there's a possibility that Jungkook might never wake up. He doesn't want the answer.

"Thank you", Jimin forces the words out of his mouth when the doctor bows a little and leaves.

"Jungkookie..." Hoseok's the first to say anything. They're standing in the room all staring at the floor, only listening to the heart rate monitor beeping. It's a good sound. It's the sound of Jungkook being alive. The hours pass with them sitting in Jungkook’s room. First Hoseok leaves to get coffee, then Taehyung and finally Jimin. He stays in the hallway to call his mom to inform her that he won’t be home for a few more days, until he makes sure that Jungkook is okay. Jimin’s mom asks him at least ten times if he’s okay himself and if Jungkook is going to be okay and every time Jimin answers with a yes. The sun rises, lighting up the new day and there’s still no sign of Jungkook waking up.

How long do you have to be unconscious for it to be a coma? Or is it somehow different from just simply being unconscious?

The nurse comes to check on something and smiles at them before leaving. There’s not a lot to do in the mostly empty room so besides trying to think of things to say all Jimin has to do is look around. The room Jungkook is in is quite a typical hospital room: white walls, light grey floor, a few white chairs for them to sit in and a window decorated with white curtains.

Why is everything white in hospitals?

The next noon Jimin decides to go get some coffee because his eyes are barely staying open. Before he steps back into Jungkook’s room he can hear the quickened pace of the beeping meaning that Jungkook’s heart rate is so much faster. It sounds almost inhumanely fast. There are people talking over each other and that makes panic rise its head in Jimin’s chest. Did Jungkook’s condition go worse?

“Is he not here? Didn’t he come? Why isn’t he here?”

“It’s okay, he’s here, he’s here! He’s just getting coffee.”

“I… I need him here, I – I need him…” The panicked voice seems to be Jungkook’s which Jimin figures out once he steps into the room. The younger falls silent as soon as he notices Jimin. Taehyung and Hoseok stand up to leave after they see him. There's a while of silence when they're left alone and it's awkward and Jimin hates himself for being the one to cause it.

"How are you feeling?" he then asks, when he can't take the silence anymore.

"Okay", Jungkook says and they're quiet again.

"I didn't think you'd come", Jungkook says quietly after a while, looking down at his hands. Jimin notices they are bruised too.

"Well", Jimin takes a deep breath, "I didn't come for the reasons you think."

"You're saying that you're not here because you want me back?"

"No, I don't want you back. Love fades, Jungkook, and mine for you has done just that. Faded", Jimin says. Why did he just say that? The look on Jungkook's face turns from heart-broken to angry real quick.

"You don't love me anymore? Is that why you didn't come out of your room until I left? Is that why I heard you crying in the shower and in your bed? Is that why you haven't eaten barely anything for days? So you don't love me anymore? I call bull." Jungkook's right and Jimin knows it. Of course he still loves the younger, it's not a feeling you can turn off just like that.

"I'll be going now that you're awake. See you at the dorm", Jimin just says instead of how he feels, stands up and leaves the room.

That night Jimin regrets it. He regrets all of it more than he ever has. He stands in the shower for half an hour, first turning the water to freezing cold and then to so hot that it burns. Jungkook deserves a chance to explain himself. Doesn't he? That's why when it's been an hour since the younger came home, Jimin goes to his room. The look on Jungkook's face is nothing but hurt and Jimin feels bad for being the cause of it. 

"Hey", he says quietly.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asks a little harshly. Jimin doesn't blame him.

"Can I sit?" Jimin points at the spot next to the younger on his bed. Jungkook just nods and so Jimin sits.

"I'm sorry. For breaking up with you like that. I didn't even let you say anything", he says.

"Honestly I got like that because I freaked out. It was getting real serious between us real fast on like a feelings level and I didn't handle it well and I freaked out because I needed a little space. That made me freak out even more because you deserve someone who is there for you all the time but I sometimes need a little space and I don't know. I just got self-conscious for a while and didn't think I deserved you. You clearly agreed", Jungkook laughs at the end a little bitterly and Jimin feels his heart break all over again. He had no idea Jungkook was feeling like that.

"I didn't think like that. I just panicked because you suddenly got so distant and didn't talk to me about it", Jimin mumbles, suddenly embarrassed that he didn't bring it up first, "Will you talk to me about it in the future? And tell me every time you need some space?" Jungkook raises his head to look at Jimin with wide eyes.

"Are you... Are you saying what I think I'm saying?" he asks with quite a confused expression. 

"Yes, I'm saying that I'm a liar. Will you be my boyfriend again?" 

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A/N: i'm sorry this chap was just jimin being indecisive and i don't even know what i'm writing anymore XDD (any fellow vampire academy fans out there btw??) soo yeah just let me know in the comments what you thought and i will see you in the next chap! thank you so much for readinggg <3