I heard footsteps stops just outside my room when I was making my way to my bed and I have an idea who it is. A sigh escapes my lips and I took a quick glance at my door. Contemplating whether to open it or ignore it and at the end I choose to lie down on my bed. Few minutes later and I still didn’t hear any footsteps indicating that the person on the other side of my door didn’t left. From the moment I heard that someone just stopped right in front of my bed room I really do want to open it and hugs the person behind it but fear came to my mind first, fear that I might say such things again that in the first place I don’t want to say. Another sigh escapes my lips I stood up and walks silently at my bedroom door to open it. As I open my door, there I saw her standing in front of my room with her head hang low.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I said and I heard her softly gasp maybe she got surprised that I’m still awake. She didn’t said anything. I waited for her to answer but she didn’t instead she just stand here in front of me, frozen. I closed my eyes feeling the guilt that is now eating me. I bit my lower lips and shook my head a little.

Why we even end up in this situation.

A sigh escapes my lips and to be honest I’m getting tired on pretending that I am okay, that everything is okay when the truth is nothing is okay. Not even me and of course not even us.

“You’ve been standing there for a few minutes now. Do you need anything?” I said still trying to find my confidence to say the right words. I heard her sighs and I know the meaning of that. I didn’t mean to come out strong though, it’s just that I didn’t know what to say.

“Sor…” I cut her off even before she finishes what she was going to say, because she doesn’t need to say something now I am the one who should do the talking now.

“Why don’t you come in instead? Hmm?” I said and there is silence that engulf us for a few seconds. I turned my back at her and walks back at my bed leaving my bedroom door open for her to follow. I lay down on my bed and wait for her to follow. I heard the closing of my bedroom door followed by the sinking of the other side of my bed. And a pair of slim arms suddenly wraps around my waist and I felt that she buried her face at my back. I sigh in relief.

Oh how I missed this.

“I’m sorry.” She said and I felt that something wet hitting my back completely drenching my shirt and I’m not dumb to know that my Sooyeon is crying because of me. I bit my lips at the thought.

You made her cry. You ing stupid .

I take her hand and intertwined it with mine. I squeeze it lightly feeling the warmth that I missed. I took a deep breath and give her palm a soft kiss.

“No, I’m sorry.” And she hugs me tighter and the sobs that I think she was trying to not let out before is now heard. My heart clenched at this and I hate myself for making her cry. I gulp and release a sigh.

“I was just…scared of losing you…”

And I feel like I’m really going to lose you if this continues. So I need to move now. Two days of suffering is more than enough for the both of us. It’s now or never.

I tighten my hold at her hand and place it above where my heart beat is. No words came from her  after that and I consider that as a go sign for me to continue what I am saying, so I did.

“I know I didn’t do anything right to you at the past aside from pissing and bullying you. It’s just that I don’t know how to approach you….properly.” I said tightening my hold on her hands that is still place at my chest. I felt her shift at her position and moves closer to my back.

“Yoong” She softly calls me and I was close to tears when I heard her call me that again. I really do miss this girl. But I need to clean this mess before it gets messier. So I did.

“Please just listen to me first.” I said softly trying to fight back my tears that wants to escape. I felt her nod her head at my back. I took a deep breath before I continue what I was saying.

“So yeah, I did all those pissing you off, teasing and bullying just to get your attention.” I said and turns at my back to face her properly now. My heart clench at the sight of this girl right in front of me with her tears flowing freely at her beautiful eyes. I reached out my hands to cup her cheeks and wipe those tears with my thumb. I look at her straight to the eyes before I utter the next words that I want to say.

“Because I want your attention to be on me and only me.” I said and smile a bit. I caress her cheeks and she closed her eyes leaning in to my touch.

“And now that you’re finally mine…” I paused and she opens her eyes and looks back at me telling me to continue.

“I always feel scared, scared of losing you when you are out of my reach and sight. And when you started coming home late at night, my fear got the best of me. The fear that one of this days I’ll be losing you, which I don’t want to happen, knowing that…” I paused feeling that I’ll break out anytime soon, my voice cracked at the end and I need to bit my lips to prevent the tears that wants to escape since before. She cups my cheeks and gives me an assuring smile.

“..knowing that you’re with someone that I didn’t know not even in name that makes me more scared…”

“…scared that you’ll left me. I don’t want that to happen Sooyeon. I don’t want you to slip away from me.” Feeling my tears will come out anytime soon I turned to face the ceiling and closed my eyes I took a deep breath before I continue what I was saying with my eyes still closed.

“Call me stupid, bastard, possessive, good for nothing I’m fine with it Sooyeon just please don’t leave me.” I said almost pleading her. I feel vulnerable now, and I don’t want her to see me in this state. At least not now, I guess.

“Yoong don’t say that I won’t do that, you knew that right?” She said and turns my head to look at her again. She’s looking at me with those eyes that I fell in love, those eyes that at first glance looks so cold but as time goes by it is really a warm ones. Those eyes that tells me how much she loves me. Those eyes that I won’t get tired to stare forever.

“I know…it’s just that I hate the feeling of you leaving me. And thinking about to what situation we are in now making me think that I might really gonna lose you if…if we continue this..”

“…this whole thing of no talking to each other and stuffs. I really don’t want to lose you Sooyeon ah.” This time I let her see my vulnerability. Eyes that almost begging for her not get tired on me.

“Yoong.” She softly calls me, so soft that I think I gone deaf for a second. She looks at me softly with her eyes showing sympathy and longing.

“Please forgive me? I can’t stand another day of you not having in my arms and I can’t stand another night without you by my side when I sleep.” I took her hands and place it just above my lips and kiss it tenderly. I heard her sighs when my lips came into contact to her skin.

“Please forgive me.” I said to her looking straight to her eyes for her to know that I’m fully sincere of asking for her forgiveness. She smiles at me and god knows how much I missed that smile. The smile that I fell for.

“You don’t need to ask for my forgiveness, cause I already give it to you since from the start.” She said and I feel like something is being lifted at my shoulders when she said that. I stay silent feeling that she’s still not yet done to what she was saying.

 “And I’m really sorry for what I did too, I really do yoong.” She said and diverts her gaze elsewhere before a slight pout form to her lips. I small smile crept into my lips before she looks at me again totally missing the sly grin that I just had a moment ago. She raised an eye brow to me and smiles.

“Now, let’s stop this so called lovers’ quarrel and be happy again with each other, can we?” She said with her voice full of life now. I grin at this and nods my head eagerly. She giggles at this and pinch my side slightly that it didn’t hurt not even little.

“Of course. I’m sorry again. I love you Sooyeon ah.” I said sweetly that even me, myself cringe at how I said those words to her. I heard her giggles once again and I completely found it adorable.

“I love you too Yoong. Now let’s stop this drama and let’s sleep because for your information, you made me tired from all the crying I did these past few nights.” She said and glared at me playfully but it still manage to send chills down at my spine that makes me shivers a bit. I give her a sheepish grin before I nod my head.

“Sorry, Well, same goes to me though” I said and she giggles once again. Surely that she really wants to giggle much now e.

“Well glad to know that, at least I am not the only one suffers for not getting enough sleep.” She said with one of her eye brows raised and sticks out her tongue after. I chuckle at this and slightly shook my head. She really looks adorable.

“You know what?”

“Hmm?”

“I missed you Sooyeon.” I said and she looks at me before a playful grin appears to her face that change into an evil grin. I slightly pouts at this.

“Well, I didn’t missed you though.” She said and I look away feeling a slight pain shot through my heart with her bold words. But what she did and said next makes me really wants to jump out of my bed because of bliss.

“Because I missed you a lot, stupid.” She pecks my lips and that turns me into a grinning idiot. She chuckles and flicks a finger to my forehead.

“Let’s sleep. Glad that I’ll have my precious sleep back….”

“...with you here by my side.” She gives me a playful smile before she winks at me and taps my chin with her index finger. I laugh at this softly.

“Oh god, are you being cheesy right now.” I not able to handle her words that makes my inside cringe. But I guess I did say a wrong one there though because before I knew it I was already at the floor with her at my bed glaring down at me. I didn’t know if I was going to laugh or groan because the pain I am feeling at my back right now is no joke but seeing her with that pissed off face makes me wants to laugh, because damn whose person would look so adorable but at the same time hot. No one right? Except her. And at the end I laugh and that makes her glare more intense I guess. I shook my head while I slowly crawling back at my bed with her still glaring at me.

“Yaaaah! You’re ruining the moment, stupid. Aiish” She said still glaring at me. I continue to laugh and tugs her towards me. She gives me another glare followed by an adorable pout of hers.

“Okay okay I’m sorry.” I hug her but after a few seconds she pulled away. I look at her confused but she just give me a mischievous smile. I furrowed my brows when she’s still just looking at me and not uttering any single word.

Is she playing with me or what? Aiiish

“What?” I ask her and she just smirks at me.

Oh god I’m really going to lose my mind if this girl still wouldn’t say a word to me.

“Hey…” But my words got cuts off by her.

“Sorry won’t do this time.” She said with that smirks that sends shivers to me. I nervously gulp before I bravely asks her.

“Then what?” I said and once again she didn’t answer and just leans into my ear and whisper to me her words.

“Kiss me.” She said to me with an alluring voice. Her lips lightly graze at my earlobe before she completely leans back looking at me with those eyes that there is something in it that looks not familiar to me. I brush away the thoughts before a wide grin forms to my lips.

“My pleasure.” I said before I lean in to her and completely catching her soft lips with mine.

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