( Twinbed – Trouble I’m in )

Jong Kook was standing outside of the psychiatric ward. The door was lock shut, no light could be seen through the small gaps.  He desperately knocked on the door, begging for Ji Hyo to open it but there was no sound. He took out his phone and dialed her number repeatedly. Ji Hyo finally answered the phone but said nothing.

“You can hear me right? Jong Kook asked. “If you won’t talk then listen. Just listening is fine.”

He took a deep breath before settling down his anger.

“Ji Hyo-ah, it’s me. You know, I almost died but it’s a miracle I’m alive. And… I’m really afraid to be with you. I always feel that someone will interfere in our life if we are together. I can’t sleep at all, do you know how hard it is? I probably won’t be able to face anyone and hide again for the rest of my life like before.” He rant as a tear fell out Ji Hyo’s eye from the other side.

“But then,” Jong Kook ushered his cries before speaking again. “What about you? If I’m like this then what about you? Thinking about you being alone… I’d rather to have died. Remember what I said about those melo- heroines? They never live happily. They have to be lonely for their scream to be desperate. But thinking of you screaming and being alone… It rips my heart out.” He cried uncontrollably.

“Come to me… Ji Hyo-ah... my arms are wide open for you, so is my heart. I’ll be your home.” Ji Hyo couldn’t stand it and started to cry out inside the ward. The only thing separating them was the door.

“I’m willing to accept every part of you. Whether it is your past, a mistake, or a child… Just, come to me.” Jong Kook stuttered through the phone as Ji Hyo slipped the phone away to cover . He could hear her crying miserably on the other side as he raised his hand to touch the door.

Then he fell back as a struck of dizziness throb in his head. Ji Hyo unlock the door and slid it open to see a weak Jong Kook on the floor. She pulled him into her arms and cried. Her eyes were swollen and red, the quiver in her voice cracking.

“Oppa… Jong Kook oppa.” She finally spoke to him. A weak hand held onto her back, Jong Kook slowly opened his eyes to see her looking at him with her tears tapping on his face. He raised his hand to caress her face and a weak smile formed around her lips. They hugged each other, crying tears of joy and relief.

******

*Flashback

Sung Joon ran through the files as Jong Kook called the hospitals and look for Ji Hyo’s documents at the orphanage.

Sung Joon turn to Jong Kook as he froze and they look at each other.

“She gave birth. The doctor said she had given birth a few months prior and jumped down the bridge to commit suicide but someone saved her. She was locked up and abused, traumatized. So she subconsciously changed her name and they hid the fact that she had a child, in order to prevent her from more trauma.”

“What about the baby?” Jong Kook asked.

Sung Joon gulped before answering. “It may have… died.” Jong Kook dropped his phone.

*Flashback to present

Ji Hyo put the wet cloth on Jong Kook’s forehead as he slept on the hospital bed. As she was about to turn away, he holds her hand. She stops and looks at him. Seeing the way he looks at her, Ji Hyo lied down on the bed beside him as he cuddles her in his arms. There was only silence as Jong Kook rested her head in his chest.

“Jong Kook oppa…” Ji Hyo broke the silence.

“You don’t have to tell me anything. I won’t force or ask you to.” Jong Kook interrupted her. She moved her head up and look at him. He look down at her.

“I’m being sincere, Ji Hyo-ah.” Ji Hyo looked up at Jong Kook, smiled faintly, and then turn her body around, facing her back to him. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her. There continue to be silence as only their breaths were heard.

“Are you sure you can accept everything about me?” Ji Hyo asked, almost in a whisper but loud enough for him to hear. He snuggled by the nape of her neck and hugged her tighter.

“I will always accept you. Just promise not to lie to me.” Ji Hyo closed her eyes as she gripped his arms around her.

“And about the child…” Jong Kook hesitated. “We will have more in the future. Don’t think too much about it.” the silence continued as she did not respond. “Ji Hyo-ah,”

“In the end,” she gulped, “It is just a monster. Even if it hadn’t die, I would probably have killed it.” She shut her eyes. “It will find a better family to turn to. Because there was no family to begin with.”

“Don’t say that… It was innocent… Every child deserves a chance… That child…”

“Ani… it was for the better. It would not have survived anyway. I…” she took a deep breath. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant… It’s best that it died… I would have hated too much to send it away or even raise it…”

Jong Kook hugged her tighter as he did not say anything anymore. He heard her irregular breathing, but he knew it was for the better. What kind of hell would she be living in if the child did live? Together, they will have child out of love.

****

They got out of the car and Ji Hyo made her way to the cemetery with Jong Kook holding her hand. She held the bunch of flowers in her other arm. They finally stop when they reached the grave. Jong Kook let her see it.

Song Il Kook, a beautiful soul, our beloved.

Ji Hyo placed the flower on the grave. It pained her heart, knowing that the man she once like so much, love, is now lying under the ground cold and alone. Tears filled her eyes, although she tried to hold it back.

“Hello… Song Ji- Cheon Seong Im-nida… Il Kook oppa.” Tears fell as she look at the tombstone. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry that that’s all I can say now…” She bowed as her head touched the grass. Tears flow uncontrollably. Jong Kook could see her trembling body he bowed next to her.

“I’m sorry for what happened to you. I believe that you would make the perfect man for Ji Hyo if you were to still be alive… But if you did live, I would have never met Ji Hyo. For that, I am sorry. I will take care of Seong Im with all my heart. I won’t leave her. Please, rest in peace and believe in me.” He bowed to Il Kook’s grave.

Ji Hyo kept crying as she clutched to her chest. Jong Kook got up and helped her stand up. He wiped her tears and cupped her face.

“Don’t cry anymore. I will always protect you, stay by your side. Trust me, Ji Hyo-ah.” She looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. She hugged him and wrapped her arms around him.

“After today, don’t cry in for or in front of another man. I’m a very jealous person.” He teased and patted her head. She removed herself before lightly pushing him away and giving him the look.

“Mianhae, Il Kook-ssi.” He lightly bowed his head. He walked to her side and held her hand.

“I’ll see you again, oppa. Take care.” Ji Hyo bid farewell as they walked out of the cemetery.

They were making their way out only to bump into the Song family. Then her mother came in the interception, as she carried a bag of fruit and flowers.

“Seong Im…” The Song family turned back as they heard her called Ji Hyo’s old name. Her mother pulled them aside as she see the Song family looking at them. “What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you to leave and never come back???” her mother scolded her.

The couple look at her mother, Jong Kook look at them back and forth, seeing the cold look on Ji Hyo’s face, he bowed at the elderly woman. Ji Hyo stopped him.

“You got the wrong person.” Ji Hyo replied coldly and held Jong Kook’s hand tightly before dragging him away.

“Hold on.” The Song family confronted them. The mother observed Ji Hyo closely. “It is you.” The mother pointed at her. “You were the one that caused my son’s death.” The family all look at Ji Hyo. “Why did you come back here?! Is destroying my son not enough? How shameless you are!’ She threw the fruits at Ji Hyo, in which Jong Kook swirl her around and the fruits hit his back as he protected her.

The mother came and intervene, trying to hit Ji Hyo but Jong Kook protected her. The family tried to hold their mother back. Ji Hyo’s mother came and try to push the Song’s mother away from hitting Ji Hyo and Jong Kook.

“You dare to block me?” the mother hit Ji Hyo’s mom and they had a struggling fight. Ji Eun, the younger sister of Il Kook intervene and pushed Ji Hyo’s mother away form her mother.

They separated as Jong Kook tried to stop the older and younger lady from hitting his future mother in law and Ji Hyo. Ji Eun bit Jong Kook’s arm, pushed her away from Jong Kook and darted for Ji Hyo. Jong Kook held her still and pushed her away.

“I warn you.” Jong Kook pointed at Ji Eun, “If you dare to touch a hair of hers, I will make sure to hurt you ten times more.”

“Oh really?” Ji Eun snickered. “Do you know that you are defending a murderer?”

“She is not a murderer.” Jong Kook answered. “This is Song Ji Hyo, my fiancé.”

“Song Ji Hyo?” the mother asked. “You are even using the Song family’s name now. How thick is your skin?”

“Don’t you say that about my daughter!” Ji Hyo’s mother shouted.

“You raised such a filthy daughter, dirty, just like the Chen family. What a murderous, taboo family!” the mother yelled.

Ji Hyo’s mother threw the box of fruit at the Song family. “You think that your family is so great. Your son took my daughter away and you help him hide her for weeks. You damaged her reputation and image! And what? Your son was killed by my son by accident and you’re flipping out on my daughter?”

“You-!” the mother pointed at Ji Hyo’s mother.

“You hurt someone else’s child yet dare to point your filthy fingers at others? You reap what you sow.”

Ji Eun stepped up. “Ahjumma, if your son is really such a good person, why did he kill another girl?” Ji Hyo turn to them.

“What did you say?” Ji Hyo stepped up as Jong Kook stood in front of her.

Ji Eun glared at her. “The man you’re defending killed another person when he got out of jail after serving for my brother’s death. He killed Kim Yoo Jung, my brother’s friend because he couldn’t find you. Cheon Seong Im.”

Ji Hyo felt her feet wobbly. Not only was Il Kook killed, so was Yoo Jung. Her best friend, the one who she first befriended, the last person she could trust was killed too. All because of her. Ji Eun stepped up and push Ji Hyo, as Jong Kook try to stop her.

“What now? Is that step brother of yours really so innocent after all? Huh?!” She then turn to Ji Hyo’s mother. “Feel the guilt for the rest of your life. No one will ever forgive you.” Ji Eun took her mother’s arm and led the family away to her brother’s grave.

Ji Hyo stood agape as her mother bend down to pick up the fruits she prepared for the two innocent people that her son killed. Ji Hyo bent don and picked up the fruits with her mom. Jong Kook helped them as silence grew tension around them.

“Is this how you’ve lived?” Ji Hyo asked as her mother was about to walk away.

“How I live is my problem. Don’t ever show up again if you don’t want to get hurt.” her mother answered without looking at her.

“Getting criticized, humiliated, and scorn…” Ji Hyo stepped in front of her mother. “You call this living?!”

“Ji Hyo-ah-“ Jong Kook try to step up.

“Tell me. Is this how you’ve lived for these 20 years with your husband? With the one you chose over me?”

Ji Hyo’s mother look up at her daughter. Her eyes were blurry and cold.

“I chose to live like this. You know best how hard it was for me when your biological father passed away. Your step father was the one who chose to love me and give me all the love I couldn’t have.”

“So, that’s why you threw me to the curb? Because I remind you of the painful moments and parting you couldn’t have with my father? Because he died? My father… He didn’t choose to die and you know it. He died of cancer!” Ji Hyo was trembling in anger.

“What did you want me to do then?!” Her mother yelled. “I can’t bring him back to life and I can’t die because of you. Should I have died too then?”

“Mother… why does it sound so unfamiliar?” Ji Hyo crack a thin smile.

Hyung Sik’s eyes widen as he stood a few meter from the group with Ji Yeon behind him, holding onto the dead Park Soo Jin’s ashes. He heard the whole conversation.

Ji Hyo look away and held back her tears. “This man you love. His family…your family… There is no one to blame for this but you, mom. You were the one that destroyed me. You threw me away.”

Her mother slapped her harshly. “You bad wench. I never threw you away. It was you that wanted to leave me to be with that Il Kook boy. You ruin our family’s name and went crazy. Are you trying to make me crazy this time?!” Her mother hit her head.

Hyung Sik was about to step up but stop when Ji Hyo spoke again.

“Kure… I did that,” Ji Hyo glared coldly at her mother. She stood up and stepped closer to her mother. “Then tell me… what happened to the baby?”

Her mother’s face turned pale immediately. Hyung Sik’s ears perked up.

“What did you do to it?” Ji Hyo coldly hissed each word at her mother, who is scared now. She grabbed her mother’s shoulders. “What did you do to the baby?!”

“I… I…” Her mother tried to speak but she couldn’t, she felt really guilty. “What are you talking about? You are spouting nonsense.” Her mother pushed her hands away and grabbed the bags of fruit, preparing to run away.

“The baby I gave birth to years ago.” making her mom stopped, “The baby I subconsciously had,” Ji Hyo turned around. Her mother turned around to see her daughter’s deadly eyes.

Ji Hyo gulped the lump down as she spoke again. “What happened to it?”

“Y-you knew?” her mother asked. Ji Hyo only stared at her. Her mother walked back up to her and held her hands. “Seong Im-ah, omma-“

“Did it die?” Her mother looked at Ji Hyo in agape and no words came out, only blurry vision. Ji Hyo slowly nodded. “That’s good then. It was only a monster anyway.” Her mother slapped her again.

“How can you say that?!” She glared at Ji Hyo. “It was your child, your own blood and flesh.”

“Ani… It was a monster. A child made by a monster will always be a monster no matter what.”

“Il Kook-“

“The child is not Il Kook’s.” Ji Hyo said, making her mother surprised once again. “It’s Bolin’s child.”

“W-what are you saying…?” Her mother tried to think. “Why… why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did. When I was going crazy and you locked me in my room, I told you that Bolin, my so-called step brother, me… But you didn’t choose to believe me. You hit me and told me to stop lying… That’s what you did, mom. You took me into the devil’s dungeon and lock me in there. You! were the one that fed me to the monster… the monster that ripped me apart, shred me into pieces and devoured me for so many years. You threw me away!!!” Ji Hyo screamed.

“I… I-I… Seong Im-ah… Mom… M-Mom didn’t know…” Her mother started crying and tried to hold her hands. Ji Hyo pushed her mom’s hand away harshly as tears blurred her eyes. She carefully wiped away her own tears.

“Your daughter, Cheon Seong Im is dead. She died from falling off the bridge years ago. I am Song Ji Hyo, an orphan with no parents and siblings. All I have is myself. Don’t ever let me see your face again.” Ji Hyo walked away. Hyung Sik and Ji Yeon turned around and hid behind the tree as Ji Hyo walked away. Jong Kook lightly bowed to Ji Hyo’s mother, trying to help her balance. He then ran after Ji Hyo.

Her mother turn to the direction her daughter had just left. She slumped down and started crying. “Mom is so sorry, my daughter.”

Hyung Sik made his way out from the tree and confronted her. She look up at Hyung Sik, whose eyes have turned pink and blurry. She wondered who he was.

“Mom…” the words he spoke brought chills to her spine and pierced her heart. Hyung Sik glared at her with his eyes blurry, a hint of sadness, anger…

****

Ji Hyo made her way out of the neighborhood as Jong Kook ran after her. He ran around looking for her until he saw her already in the car.

“Ji Hyo-ah,” he softly called her.

“Oppa, I want to leave.” Jong Kook made his way to her and held her shoulders. “I want to go home. To my home.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

The whole car ride was quiet.

They finally arrived in Pohang and parked by the ocean.

Ji Hyo walked down the beach sand as Jong Kook walked behind her. She stopped and look into the ocean and he did the same.

“I fell for Il Kook at first sight. He was the first person to care for me. He taught me what this crazy thing called love was like.” She turned to Jong Kook. “It makes my heart flutter, have butterflies in my stomach, my face burning up and excited. He was my purpose and everything. The first one to confess to me and break my heart. He ran to me, in the rain and told me to leave this place with him. I… I was more than willing to, because I love him… I really did. Even if I was just a young girl back then… I really liked him and he did too. He gave me a safety hideout and gave me protection and respect.” Jong Kook walked up to her and they look into each other’s eyes. He cupped her face gently.

“He would’ve been a great gentleman if he was still alive. I’m glad that he was able to give you so much. I’m glad that he gave you his everything… unlike me. I…”

Ji Hyo held his hands on her face. “Can you tell me…?” He smiled faintly. They sat on the sand as Ji Hyo leaned on his shoulder.

“I fell in love with a girl in college. She was tough and confident, quite stubborn too.” he chuckled. “But my best friend fell for her too. Kye Sang and Honey liked each other… and I couldn’t even do anything about it… I didn’t know until they already became a couple.” Ji Hyo moved her head from his shoulder and look at him.

“I couldn’t get over her, even after they got married so I ran away. Being the coward I was, I ran away. But it was the worse decision I have ever made.”

“Why?” her heartache for him, his pain of never being noticed.

“Because… it was the last time I saw her again…” He looked at Ji Hyo with his eyes teary. “She died. She was killed by a group of gangsters… because of Kye Sang… She and her unborn child were killed. She died miserably, all alone. I… I wasn’t able to even help her… I…” tears started falling down his face. “I joined the underground world to avenge her… because I was so angry at him… He wasn’t able to even protect her… the first woman I love the most. So I befriended the man that killed her and planned to kill him. Katashi…

“But I fell for Bora, Kye Sang’s sister instead… She dodged the bullet for me… She saved my life. She confessed to me, spoke the softest words to me, sweetest words like honey, make me love her… I was going to marry her. I was going to marry her but she… she was killed too…”

“Who did it?” Ji Hyo looked at him and wondered.

“The man that captured you…”

“Choi Seung Hyun?” and Jong Kook nodded.

“Why?”

“Because, Bora… never loved me. “ Ji Hyo’s eyes widen. “She only used me to hide her relationship with him. She loved that man, not me. I proposed to her and we moved in together. He must have gone mad when he knew about it. That was probably why he killed her. He killed the woman that loved him.”

Ji Hyo gripped tightly onto Jong Kook’s arm, bit her lip.

“That b*st*rd… if only he knew that she didn’t love me, he would not have done it to her. But even if he didn’t kill her, I probably would have.” He looked down as his tears dried up. He gritted his teeth and look at Ji Hyo. “I would have hurt her, revenge and torture her for using me.”

“But you didn’t…” Ji Hyo whispered. Jong Kook hit his head with his hand.

“I think that I could’ve mistaken my feelings for Honey for her. I could have been that was delusional.”

“Ani… she used you, knowing that you love her sister-in-law… She took advantage of you… It’s not your fault oppa.” Ji Hyo try to stop him from hitting himself.

“I can see it in your eyes. You are hurt but you’re not someone who will hurt just anyone.” Ji Hyo wiped away the last dried tear from his face. “You are strong. You are protective. You are selfless.” He look into her eyes. “You, are the man I love,” Ji Hyo claimed.

He wanted to believe her. He wanted to trust her so badly. But a voice keeps telling him that she is lying, pitying him. She moved her hand and caressed his face.

“It’s the truth. I love you, Kim Jong Kook.” Ji Hyo didn’t hesitate to move forward and lay a peck on his lips. Jong Kook didn’t push her away, instead tears flow again. She moved away to see his sparkly eyes.

“Ji Hyo-ah… I *hiks* … If it’s just pity… *hiks* You don’t have to do this if it is just pity *hiks*.” She quickly pressed her lips against his again, stopping him saying anymore. Each time she released and he tried to speak, she only charged forward for another kiss to stop him from talking.

She straddle on top of him, holding his head still, their lips touching into a deep kiss. He was about to push her away when he felt her stop kissing him and pull back.

“I don’t pity you. I have always like you. This journey had made me realize that it was more than just fondness. I may have never met a mature kind of love before, but you are the first. The man who always protected me from any danger is not a pitiful but strong man.” She look into his eyes with the most sincere look. She moved his bangs away from his face and cupped his face.

“Kim Jong Kook… I won’t lie to you… Just don’t throw me away… Nneh?” His eyes blurry as he look back at her.

This must be what they call tears of joy. Because Jong Kook pulled Ji Hyo into another kiss as the sound of the waves crash in the evening sky.

Another chance and another love. We get hurt, we fall, we get up.

****

Sorry for the long tension... and thank you and welcome new readers! Thanks for commenting, it gave me a lot of joy. Happy late mother's day to any of you who is a mother or to-be mother!

Stay healthy and safe bunnies!