The following contents contain blood, self inflicted harm, etc. Please be wary before reading. If you don't like blood or self-harm, feel free to skip to the bottom of the page for an author's note. Enjoy...

*****

*2 Years ago at Jong Kook’s apartment*

The door ring numerous times and Bora ran to open it.

“You’re back?” Only to see that it was not Jong Kook but Seung Hyun. “Seung Hyun-ah…” He pushed passed her and closed the door. “What are you doing here?”

He held her shoulders. “No one’s here right?” and she nodded. “Listen carefully to what I’m going to say ok?”

“W-What is it? Don’t scare me like that.”

“Let’s run away.”

“What?”

“Yoon Bora, run away with me.”

“Are you out of your mind Seung Hyun oppa?”

“I’m not. I can live happily with just the two of us.” But she only bit her lips. “Bora?”

“I-I can’t.”

“Why? Is it because of your career? I can give you everything you want.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I only have my brother left. I can’t leave him.”

“He’ll be fine, he has Ji Hoon and Jong Kook.”

“You don’t understand.” She pulled away her hand. He pulled her back and held her shoulders.

“What don’t I understand?”

“Being alone in the world with no one. I don’t want to abandon my brother.”

“I’m willing to leave the underground, power, and my father for you. Why can’t you do the same?” He was on the verge of going sane. “Or do you really like Kim Jong Kook?!”

She slapped him.

“Do I look that cheap to you? I never thought that you would think like that. I have never loved Jong Kook oppa. Didn’t I tell you already?! I love you only.”

“I-“

“If I loved him, I would not dare to meet you again. I would have married him already.”

“Then why don’t you leave with me?” The desperation in his eyes met hers.

“I…”he waited with anticipation in his eyes. “I want to tell Jong Kook oppa the truth.”

“Bora-ah,”

“I know he will be mad, but aren’t we being too mean oppa? He believed in me and forgave my brother for my sake. Please.”

“We can’t. What if he tries to pull something dangerous?”

“But oppa-“

“Bora, please. Listen to me this time.” He begged her desperately.

“Let me return his things first.”

She went to the bedroom and took out her clothes into a suitcase. He waited for her outside in the hall. She was about to zip the suitcase until she saw a sparkle that caught her eye. The ring on her finger. She took it off and held it in her palm.

*Flashback

She pulled him into a long kiss.

‘I love you,’ she whispered to him. He stared at her wide-eyed. She pretended to be drunk and slur inaudible words in his ear. ‘I…have always liked you. But why don’t you see it? Yah Kim Jong Kook, who do you think you are?’ then she pretended to fall unconscious as he caught her in his arms.

*

She dodged the bullet from Katashi, hitting her shoulder, she drop to the ground in front of Jong Kook as he screamed her name. He continuously shot Katashi until he fell back then ran to grab her up in his arms.

‘Bora! Yoon Bora!’ He carried her out, making sure she was awake the whole time.

*

He slept by her side at the hospital, never leaving her.

*

Asking for her hand in marriage at Namsan Tower as he kneeled on one knee. His happy face and eye smiles.

*Flashback to present

Tears started falling down. She held up the photo and looked at Jong Kook’s smiling face. A million thoughts crossed her mind, did she really not like Jong Kook? Was she really just using him? It didn’t go unnoticed by Seung Hyun as he barged in and grabbed the photo out of her hands.

“If you’re finish then let’s go.” He grabbed her suitcase and pulled her hand to walk out through the hallway. They were on their way out as Bora stopped her step as Seung Hyun threw the photo on the floor behind them. She pulled her hand back and went to pick up the photo.

She tried to straighten the crumpled photo nicely and examine it carefully. He hurriedly turn back to her and tried to pull her arm up.

“Come on, we have to go. The flight is leaving soon.” Bora only crouch down and started crying at the photo. “Yoon Bora!” She turned to look up at him with tears in her eyes.

“Oppa… I can’t leave like this. I…I have to tell Jong Kook oppa the truth…” He was struck by her words as if by lighting. “He deserves to know the truth.”

“Bora, please don’t say anymore. I beg you.” He went on his knees to hold her shoulders. She shook her head as her cried muffled and sniffed.

“I…I think…I like Jong Kook oppa.” He froze upon hearing those words.

“Don’t joke with me Bora. It’s not funny.” He tried to smile but you could see disappointment written all over his face. But she said no more and he realize he was late. He threw the suitcase around and messed up the things inside Jong Kook’s place, smashing the vases and throwing the things off the table as he yelled in frustration. He then went to Bora and dragged her forcefully towards the door.

“Ah, oppa!” She yelped as he dragged her across the room towards the door. She was tripping over the things on the ground with the picture still in her other hand. She tried to pull away as he forcefully grip tightly onto her wrist. As they reached the door, Bora successfully pulled away from his grip.

The way she looked at him made him flip out in anger. He turned back furiously as fear manifested his heart with the thought of losing her to Jong Kook. He reached for her but she moved back. He ran, sprinted after her as she ran back. He slammed her on the wall.

“What good will it do if you tell him everything?  What are you going to say? That you lied to him and was in a relationship with me? Dream on. He will never forgive you, because you used him. As for your brother, I don’t think he will easily let it pass either, don’t you think?” he hissed at her darkly.

“Are you threatening me?”

“I don’t know, am I?” He whispered in her ear. She bit her lip and stopped struggling.

“Now I know why no one likes you. You’re just like your father, your ruthless nature.” His smile wore off as his grip loosen. She pushed passed him and picked up the things on the floor. “If you have nothing else to say then leave.” She ordered.

He reached for her shoulder as she brushed it away.

“I’m…sorry.” the words slipped out of his mouth but she said nothing. He kneeled down to her side. “My love, leave with me. For us, for better or worse. As long as I have you, I need nothing else. I mean it.”

“Leave by yourself. I’m staying.” She pushed passed him as grabbed her leg with tears forming in his eyes.

“Please….” but she tugged off his fingers and walked away with the picture in her hand. He pathetically sat on the floor as she picked up the things on the floor and walked away to the hall.

With all the frustration in his head, he had gone sane. He couldn’t bear seeing her by Jong Kook’s side, that man, his enemy. He gathered up his courage and pulled out the gun from his back pocket. He pointed it at Bora who walked further from him.

“Let’s die together then. If I can’t have you, no one else can!” He whispered and pulled the trigger. –Bang!

Bora fell on the ground as a pool of blood gathered around her. Seung Hyun drew up the bullet to his head as the door open –Bang!

*Present time*

Jong Kook put Ji Hyo in his car and drove off. His mind drifted as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. He was still angry, the betrayal of his love for Bora was nothing. He lived 2 years of his life in seclusion and isolation, with the guilt of not being able to protect the one he loved just to find out that she never loved him. Was his love so insignificant?

He hit the steering wheel as he felt a warm liquid drip down his face. Tears. He was shedding tears… for that woman? He wanted to shout in anger but he forced himself to stay still. Ji Hyo was still lying in the passenger seat unconscious. He had to take care of her first.

It was hours before he stopped the car. They had reached his place, a place no one has ever been to. Only Kye Sang and Bora were able to come there. He tried to stop thinking about it and took Ji Hyo out of the car before carrying her inside the penthouse.

He carefully set her on his bed as he quickly try to clean up her injuries.

*Flashback

‘I like you!’ Ji Hyo blurted out.

*Flashback

Jong Kook got up immediately. His eyes were burning hot as he clenched the warm cloth in his face. He faced her again, she was lying down, her wounds needed to be tend to. He took a deep breath and continue to clean her wounds, before changing her clothes. He tried to be as careful as possible when changing her. He let her head rest on his shoulder as he put the big t shirt over her.

Then he heard her whimper, a little cry.

“No…no…” He finished dressing her and put her back on the bed. He covered her and was about to leave when she grabbed the hem of his shirt.

“Don’t leave me alone…” She mumbled. “I’m afraid.”

(In her dream)

She tugged on his sleeve.

He turned back to look at her. He kneeled on the floor and held her hands, looking at her bruised hands and softly touching the purple patches and slight scratches. .

Crackles and muffled cried whispered in the room. He looked up at her face with tears in his eyes.

“I’m…sorry…” He looked into her eyes as agony and guilt manifested his heart. He exhale and inhale deeply. “I’m so sorry. For not being able to protect you.”

Ji Hyo couldn’t see his face clearly but she could tell he was crying as she heard him mumble apologies repeatedly. He hid his face in her hands and they cried together.

(In reality)

Jong Kook tugged her hand off and tucked her in the bed again before heading out.

Ji Hyo mumbled in her sleep and cried alone.

****

(Listen to: Loser by Bigbang)

Jong Kook left the room and ran outside. He looked at the pool where he and Bora swam together. Their laughter haunted him, her happy face and his happiness. The life they intended to have together is gone. The dream they share, no. A dream that he shared with her was always alone. The love he decided to give Bora was over. The love and hope she gave him was all a lie. She gave him false hope.

He walked into the pool as he sees her happily calling him. Each step he took in the pool broke his heart. He crunch up his fist and walked closer to her until the water reached the length of his chest. He stare at her who smiled innocently.

A sudden rage and feeling of disgust struck him. He wanted to tear her apart, throw her to deepest ocean and darkest depths in hell. He wanted to shred her into pieces and burn her slowly. He wants to see her turn into ruins, he wants to kill her.

“Jong Kook oppa,” she softly calls him with her worried face. He glared at her as she reached up her hand to touch his face.

He turns and walks away from her. She kept calling his name, giggling as he yelled into the empty air. He started beating and punching the water.

“ARGH!” He pulled his hair and kicked the water as he scream violently. When he grew weak, he let himself fall in the water, kneeling down and cried. His anger turn to betrayal and regret.

Why did he let Bora into his heart? Why did he tear down the walls and wish to live a happy life with her? Why did he do that when she had someone else? Why did she use him? All that’s left now is ash and dust. She’s already dead and gone. He would have possibly kill her if she was still alive, he could probably be the one to kill her instead of her lover Seung Hyun. But here he is, crying like a pathetic coward because of her. All because of Yoon Bora, the little sister of his best friend.

All because of trust… he became a fool to love. He just kept crying in the shallow pool.

Now I know… Love is like the sea. It’s noisy when it’s shallow but silent when it’s deep.

We have never become one, but we were never two either. We have never met but we have not separated either. We are like parallel lines.

I will always be a loser…

****

It felt like forever that he has been outside. The sky has already turn dark and the night was the clearest as the stars came out. The water was freezing him but he stayed still. He heard a crash in the penthouse. That’s when he remember that Ji Hyo was still in the house.

Jong Kook ran back inside the house and up the stairs.

Ji Hyo woke up as her head ached in pain and her world spin around. She tried to get up as the scene was unfamiliar. She was in a very clean room, dressed in a different set of clothes. She tried to get up but stumble as her legs were still weak. She caught herself and try to get out of the room.

She roamed the unknown place and walked through the hall, holding onto herself.

“Song Ji Hyo…” a voice called her. Ji Hyo suddenly turn back to see the voice but there was a rest room to the left of her. “Help me…” The voice called again.

Ji Hyo crept into the room but it was empty. She turn to leave but saw a mirror in front of her to the right. She saw a teenage boy, the same one in her dream, behind her.

“Song Ji Hyo.” He said again. She couldn’t make out his face so she turned back but he disappeared. She turn back to the mirror and sees Bolin in front of her.

“Why are you here?” he asked her with his eyes darting grimly. “Didn’t I tell you that you can never escape me?” He laugh at her.

Ji Hyo started hyperventilating and gather all her strength to hit the mirror. The mirror broke with a loud crash. The shattered mirror cut her knuckles but he didn’t disappear. She grabbed a piece of the broken mirror and tried to stab the mirror. The broken mirror cut her palm and sting her but all she felt was fear and disgust. She hit the mirror with all her might and back up to the wall as she sit still with the broken piece still in her hand to protect herself.

Then he squat to her level. She held up the piece to confront him but he grabbed her hand and twisted the piece back to her.

“Why don’t you try hurting yourself?” Ji Hyo stopped struggling. “It will stop the pain. I promise.” She looked at the broken mirror in her hand. She was bleeding but she felt nothing. She looked back at him as he smiled back. “Trust me. It won’t hurt. Just a tiny pinch.” He push her hand to her wrist and let the shagged end pierce her skin. She bit her lips, anticipating the pain. But she felt nothing. Her hand felt numb, and the blood flowed down her wrist as her face wristed into a faint smile.

“It… doesn’t hurt…” Ji Hyo whispered weakly. She continue to slit her wrist and the sight around her turn black and white. The bright color of the blood gave her color. It was beautiful, a beautiful deep red, warm liquid. She smiled as she felt her body becoming weak.

It doesn’t hurt… She weakly smiled. It doesn’t hurt… because she’s been hurt more than that. Finally, I can be free. Her vision begin to blur as she slowly slit her wrist again.

The vision turn to weak as she saw something else. The teenage boy replaced Bolin as he sadly look up at her.

*The following is mixed her mind*

She stood at top of a bridge ready to jump down. She turn around and see the boy behind her.

He extended his hand towards her, for her to take his hand and get down from the rail, to stop her from jumping down. Unknowingly, her lips curved up to a faint smile as a tear roll down her cheek.

“It’s okay, I’m not crying because I’m sad. It’s because of the wind. It’s making my eyes water.” She whispered to him. A tear roll down his face, giving her the sweetest sadness look in his eyes. His hand gestured for her to take but she shook her head.

“I’m… sorry.” She said before letting herself fall down the bridge. He grabbed her hand and pull her to him as they both fall down. The bridge turned into a cliff and it was an unending pit that they fell into.

Ji Hyo could see his face clearly now as she turned into her young teenage self. His face came to focus. She was shock and their eyes met as he circled his arms around her.

“Can you… remember me now?” he asked as their gazes locked. She lightly nodded her head. He gently finally smiled at her, so bitter, so happy, so lifeless.

****

Jong Kook pushed the door but it was lock. There was a lot of water running in through the door.

“Ji Hyo-ah! Open the door!” He pounded the door and continue to shout. “If you don’t, I’m going to break the door open!”

With that being said, Jong Kook kicked the door knob and pushed his way in.

“Yah Song Ji-“ He stopped as he saw the floor turn into a faint color of red as he walked toward the shower. Ji Hyo sat under the shower, holding a broken piece of glass in her hand from the mirror. Her hand was bleeding as she turned extremely pale. He rushed to take the broken mirror out of her hand.

He grabbed her shoulders and tried to shake her. “Song Ji Hyo. Song Ji Hyo! Get a grip of yourself. Song Ji Hyo!” She opened her tired eyes at him and faintly smile.

“I…”

“What?” Jong Kook look at her.

“I… I remember you… now…” She touched his face. “I’m sorry… I’ve missed you…” then she fainted.

“Song Ji Hyo!” Jong Kook yelled her name as he carried her out.

****

If you skipped the passage, here is a summary.

Jong Kook took Ji Hyo to his penthouse and helped her change and aided her injuries. She was having bad dreams. Jong Kook was outside in the pool where his reminence he and his ex lover's memories. Earlier, he just learn from his old time buddy, who is now a part of the bad gang, that his ex lover had an affair and used him only. Betrayed he just screamed to himself and hated her for betraying him, but he can't do anything as she was already killed by the man she cheated on Jong Kook with, which is Choi Seung Hyun. He heard a loud crash and ran in the house as he just remember that Ji Hyo was there with him.

Ji Hyo woke up and roam around the house, entering a bathroom as she heard someone calling her, (She is still faze from the drug they injected her with, causing hallucinations and distorted memory). She saw Bolin in the mirror and started hitting it, hurting herself. The Bolin in her hallucination convinced her to hurt her self so she cut herself, leading her to remember a memory that she had locked up. 

Jong Kook comes to the bathroom as it was lock. He broke it down to see Ji Hyo in the shower with the water and her holding a broken piece of glass, hurting herself with blood gushing over the floor. He took the glass away and took her to the hospital.

***

Yep.... So sorry for the complicated storylines. If you have any questions then feel free to ask. Pls leave comments :) see ya bunnies