A/N: Italics: Flashbacks

Eunhyuk looked at the boxes around him as he tried to keep his composure and finish what he had to do. He picked up every single piece of clothing in that old closet and put it in one of those boxes and labeled it with his shaking hands. He didn’t want to do any of those. He didn’t want to get rid of those things. He would never want to get rid of those memories.

Picking up a new box, he went to the small desk located at the corner of his pad. He ran his fingers over the dark wood before emptying the contents of each drawer, leaving only the things that he actually needed. The truth is, he needed all of those….every single thing…to preserve the memories. He shook his head as he put down the box and went through the stuffs he just put in there, some papers, old letters, some other knick knacks and few photos. If he could just keep some of those photos, he will but couldn’t. It’s for the best – that’s what they want to believe.

A tear finally fell from his eyes as he stared at those photos. He was still in high school back then, with his worn out school uniform, long and unbelievably messy multi-colored hair, goofy smile and all. He can still remember every single bit of that day. Why wouldn’t he? That was the best birthday he ever had. The first birthday he spent with his first decent paying job, and his new hyung.

It was a regular school day for Hyukjae – woke up at barely 3 o’clock in the morning to do his morning routines, delivering milk in their neighborhood, mow old Mrs. Shin’s lawn next door, walk Nurse Kwon’s dogs and make sure that his classmates’ home works were all done. That was how sixteen year old Lee Hyukjae spent his mornings. It was very tiring, both physically and emotionally, but starvation was not a very good option. If he wants to eat, he had to earn money and if he wants to earn money, he had to work. He was actually thankful for the fact that his neighbors were very good to him. Living in a pretty luxurious compound was an advantage.

His family was not poor; they’re actually quite rich compared to more than half of the population in Seoul. He lived in a two story, five-bedroom house with his parents and one older sister. He was studying in one of the most prestigious high schools in their area and pretty much owned whatever he wanted. He was having the time of his life…but .that was before his family decided to make wrong choice of dying earlier than Hyukjae ever imagined.

A smirk curved Hyukjae’s lips as he thought of his past life. He thought he’d already forgotten about those. He loved his family more than anything else, he really did, but he also wanted to forget the pain of being left alone at that very young age.

They were on their way to celebrate his noona’s graduation when a white van appeared in front of their car, obviously running over the speed limit….that was all that he could remember, except for some honks, tire screeching, glass shattering and his older sister wrapping her thin arms around him, to protect him or maybe tell him her last farewell plus a glint of tear mixed with blood that he saw in his mom’s eyes as she reached for him before he lost his consciousness. His family was killed by a drunk driver and he was the only one left, thanks to his father’s constant reminder to put on his seat belt on every time he rides a car.

The life that Lee Hyukjae used to have suddenly flew away. The luxury, the fun…it was all gone. His parents had life insurance but he used all those to make sure that the bastard that killed his family will spend his whole life behind bars and the money that was left in their bank account was just enough to pay off his family’s funeral and their house’s mortgage. That house was certainly too big for a sixteen year old boy like him, but that was their house, and he will do everything to make sure that he will still have a place that he can call home, a place where he once had a family.

Tears just kept on streaming down his cheeks as he stared into thin air, it was time for his breakfast but the thought of having his first meal that day alone  killed his appetite. He covered his food and put it away, he didn’t have a fridge, he sold it a few months ago so that he can pay his electric bills that were way overdue. He put on his cap to at least cover his overgrown hair that almost reached his shoulder and grabbed a bottle of water, he needed one, walking to his school that was almost five miles away from his house is pretty dehydrating, a bottle of water is way cheaper than bus fare anyway.

“Hyukjae-ah!” there came an old lady with a floral apron wrapped around her waist.

He bowed his head and sheepishly smiled at the old woman. “Halmeoni, is there something wrong? Do you want me to mow your lawn later when I got home from school?”

The old lady just shook her head and handed him a lunch box. “This kid, still thinking about earning money on his birthday.” She murmured. “There’s a seaweed soup in there, eat it later okay? Happy birthday Hyukjae-ah.”

He checked his wristwatch and confirmed what the old lady just said, April 4, he just turned seventeen and didn’t even notice it. Celebrating something such as birthdays didn’t really bother him anymore. For him, it was just another day and he needs to work his -off if he wants to eat. Although his neighbors are sometimes kind enough to give him food, he will not live in charity.

“Thank you Halmeoni. I’ll see you later.” He bowed again and continued his way to his school, a place that became too boring for him. The only reason why he was still attending his classes was because of the money that he was getting from tricking those idiots in his class to let him do their home works in exchange of money.

That day went amazingly fast for him, no one even greeted him except when their homeroom teacher forced the whole class to sing him an off tune birthday song, it made his ear cringe but he still smiled and thanked his classmates just for courtesy. No one really liked him anyway, to them, he was just a rich kid who went bankrupt and forced to transfer to a public school. Every one around him thought that he was just a snobbish brat but couldn’t care less, as long they’re paying then everything is good.

His walk back to his house was awfully slow though. He didn’t know what got into him but he just felt like walking around the city, passing by some very few place where he had some memories with his family, his old school, where his used to be friends just looked at him like he was some kind of garbage but everything was okay, he didn’t hate the world, he didn’t let himself get consumed by grief, but he also didn’t care about anything else but breathing, just breathing, he promised his family that he will breathe for them, not living.

“Yah!” a voice squeaked behind him, but he was to busy thinking on how will earn more money to pay for his water bill that was due a week from then to even check if the call was directed to him. “Yah! Don’t act like you can’t hear me!” the voice squeaked again after he felt a sudden gush of pain on the back of his head.

He let out an annoyed grunt before he looked at who was the jerk who had enough courage to hit him for no reason and he was welcomed by a smiling man, maybe around the same age as him, he had bright chinky eyes and a small dimple on the side of his thin lips. He looked awfully familiar.

“You’re Hyukjae right?”

He nodded.

“Follow me.” He did what he was told, like a lost puppy. He didn’t know why but he felt very comfortable with the man, like he’s emitting some kind of a calming aura.

The place where the man took him was more than familiar to him, he knows that place. It was a small café where his sister used to work for her on the job training. He’d been there for a few times but never really talked to anyone except for some very few smiles that he exchanged with some of the workers there.

“What do you want from me?” he asked as soon as the man ordered him to sit down. Time was very precious for him, especially if he’s supposed to be earning money for food not hanging around a café with an unknown man.

“Happy birthday.” The man smiled at him as a knot formed on his forehead. How did he know? He just shrugged the thought off, one of his sister’s hobbies and blabbering and he wouldn’t even be surprised if the whole Seoul knows that that day was his birthday. “I don’t want anything from you. It’s you who might actually need something from me.”

He frowned, shook his head and tried to walk but what came out from the man’s mouth made him cringe. “You know your sister once said that you’re a spoiled jerk.”

“What?” His sister loved him. She even said that he’s her most favorite person ever walked on the planet.

The man smirked. “But she loves you more than anything.”

Unaware of what was happening, tears started falling from his eyes. Hearing somebody else talk about his sister’s love for him just made him thought of every single memory he spent with his family. It was awful.

“And she’d be happy to see you live your life like how a seventeen year old boy should.” The man stood up, walked towards the small display, and took a strawberry cake. “She said you love strawberries. It’s the same cake she always bought every year on your birthday.”

With tear-stained face, he couldn’t help himself but rush to the, he guessed, older boy and tugged the sleeve of his shirt. “I want to celebrate my birthday.” The man smiled at him again and took a candle from his pocket.

People started to approach them and he just suddenly felt his heart flutter when they started singing happy birthday. It was also as off tuned as his classmates’ but it was different. They sang it to him like they all cared, even though he had no idea who those people are.

“Happy birthday Hyukjae.”

“Thank you.” He mouthed at the man and silently wished for a happy life as he blew the candle and smiled at the camera that captured his first real smile after all the chaos that happened in his life.

That day, on his seventeenth birthday, his Teukie-hyung saved him from ruining his life. He nagged him until he couldn’t say no to the older anymore. He forced him to stop all his unnecessary job, be more serious with his studies and gave him a job, a job in a place that he considered his new home. The man even gave him a new nickname.

Eunhyuk.

“Silver is better than gold. Gold doesn’t tarnish; Silver does but doesn’t affect its value. Gold has more value but silver is rarer. Silver is better than gold in its own way.”

Hyukjae sobbed and reached for his phone, he needed someone and he could only think of one person. He dialed the number that he’d always known by heart and bit his lips as soon as he heard that familiar, soothing voice on the other line.

“Hae?”

“Hyukkie? Are you crying?”

“These things…..Teukie-hyung’s stuffs…”

“Hyuk..” Donghae sighed. “You don’t have to throw them; you just have to keep them for a while.”

That was his mission, to temporarily erase his hyung’s existence. For the sake of Kim Heechul, he had to pretend that the man, who saved him from his own despair, never existed. It hurts, it hurts so badly but he couldn’t do anything. He thought it would be easy but with every box that he filled with his hyung’s things, it got harder and harder for him.

“I miss him Hae.”

“I know.”

******

A/N:
A WHOLE CHAPTER JUST FOR HYUKKIE~~
well, I didnt really plan to write much about his past but I think I kind of got into the groove lol
I kind of enjoyed writing it  so yeah~~ it became longer than what it should be
and btw, sorry for not updating for quite a while...you can blame 49 days for that, or maybe just my lazy brain hehe

I might also not update starting from the 23rd until probably first week of next year ;__;
so I will really really try my best to update before Christmas~~

but if I couldn't..I'll greet you all now xD
HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BLESSED NEW YEAR <3

and oh, do you think I should make some kind of a list of character profiles?

verilityyeaaaaaaah..I'm not really a fan hanchul >< //runs lol
thanks ~~ I kind of alway have weird dreams so I think that helped with the dream parts :) About the pace, I really have no idea where I'm going haha..I just write whatever comes to my mind >< //heck I dont even really have any plans for the next chapters ><

zhuxixi13 there's a very little EunHae in this chapter but I promise I will write more of them in the next ones~ 

Sinner _Cieca_ sonelf FangirlEunYoo Eunhaeizawesom JBzherimaar thanks for the comments!! <3

and sorry for making some of you sad/cry ....I meant it lol jk~~
I love angst <3

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DENCHUL IS MY NEW OTP