Baekhyun felt a hand placed on his right shoulder. He turned his head. The sight nearly took his breath away.

Chanyeol's hair was wet from the shower. He had a white towel loosely wrapped around his waist. Droplets of water slowly slid down his body, making a trail along his abs. His skin tone had gotten darker since the last time Baekhyun had seen him. The fair skin tone with now replaced by a roasted honey color.  His muscular arms flexed every time he moved. His shoulders had gotten broader as well. Baekhyun can feel his face turning really red. He turned away. Chanyeol looked so hot that Baekhyun couldn't subside his desire.

"Baekhyun, look at me," Chanyeol's warm voice was full of concern. It took all of Baekhyun's strength to turn his head and look at Chanyeol. Chanyeol seemed really worried. His deep brown eyes stared into Baekhyun's. His lips formed a frown.

"What's wrong?" Baekhyun panicked. What could possibly make Chanyeol this worried?

"You..." Chanyeol let out a small sound, "..You're sick aren't you?".

Baekhyun stopped breathing. His heart thumped hard against his chest. His mouth felt dry. So Chanyeol knew? But how? 

"I..." Baekhyun started to speak but he didn't know what to say. What can he say? Nothing. He kept his mouth shut.

"Baekhyun, why didn't you tell me?" Chanyeol looked upset. He kneeled down and pulled Baekhyun into a tight hug. An overwhelming sensation came over to Baekhyun as he let his tears fall. So Chanyeol knew already. He started crying.

"It's okay," Chanyeol put a hand through Baekhyun's hair and it gently. "Why didn't you tell me you have an eating disorder?", Chanyeol voice was soothing.

A what? Did he say eating disorder? Baekhyun pulled back and stared at Chanyeol with wide eyes. Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol as if he was out of his mind.

"What did you say?" Baekhyun wanted to make sure that was the words that just came out of Chanyeol's mouth.

"You have an eating disorder don't you?" Chanyeol repeated what he said.

"Why would you think that?" Baekhyun was confused. How can Chanyeol come up with such a crazy idea?

"I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense," Chanyeol stood up and went to sit on the bed. Baekhyun's bed.

"What makes sense?" Baekhyun gave him a strange look.

"You haven't eaten anything today. This morning, you didn't eat, claiming you're not hungry. Then when we went to the restaurant, you didn't order anything. And when I was in the bathroom just now, a big chunks of your hair were scattered everywhere," Chanyeol pressed his fingers against his eyes, "Baek, that's not healthy. When you first appeared 3 days ago, I was shocked to see how thin you were. You were basically a walking skeleton!" Chanyeol shouted.

What the actual heck?

Baekhyun wanted to laugh at Chanyeol's ridiculous idea that he was suffering from an eating disorder. But he stopped himself when he saw how serious Chanyeol was.

"Look, I don't have an eating disorder," Baekhyun put his tiny hand over Chanyeol's big ones. Chanyeol didn't look convinced. Baekhyun sighed. How will he explain it to Chanyeol. How can he tell Chanyeol that he is ACTUALLY sick, but not from an eating disorder?

"Then why?" Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun, "Give me a reason why you're not eating," 

"I do eat. Just when you're not around," Baekhyun answered. He didn't want to let Chanyeol know about his sickness.

"WHEN is that?", there was an edge in Chanyeol's voice.

"I ate in the manager's office," Baekhyun said lamely. It was true.

"Why are you eating in the manager's office? Why can't you eat with us? Or are you too good to eat with the members now?" Chanyeol raised his voice. There was an accusing tone in Chanyeol's voice.

"I didn't say that. I wasn't hungry. And I will eat whenever I want to! You can't force me!" Baekhyun was angry. Who was Chanyeol to comment about when or where he should be eating?

"Fine fine whatever," Chanyeol gave up when he heard the anger in Baekhyun's voice, "Then how can you explain that bald spot at the back of your head?" Chanyeol pointed.

Baekhyun turned to the left and looked at the mirror. Sure enough, there was a giant bald patch located near the right side of his head. Baekhyun panicked and quickly placed a hand over it. His fingers made contact with the spot. It felt soft against his skin. Baekhyun wanted to cry.

"I....." Baekhyun couldn't say anything. The words clogged up in his throat. How will he explain it to Chanyeol? How can Baekhyun explain to him that hair loss was the result from the chemotherapy treatment? Baekhyun had been so careless. He cursed himself for not noticing how much of his hair had fallen out.

Chanyeol looked at him expectantly. He was waiting for an answer. Baekhyun wanted to tell Chanyeol the truth. Tell him that he was diagnosed with Laryngeal cancer. Tell him about the chemotherapy treatment. Tell him how he felt like dying every time the needle was inserted into his throat. Tell him how much Baekhyun still loves him.

But he couldn't. His heart didn't allowed him to do that.

"I just started using this new hair product and I guess I'm allergic to it. I'll change to a different brand next time," Baekhyun lied. He had been so good at lying and pretending to be fine that it became easier for him. He felt guilty almost every time he did it though.

Chanyeol looked at him. His eyes, which were filled with concerns earlier, was now replaced by a look of disbelief. He looked at Baekhyun like he had just been betrayed. Then he threw his head back and let out a small laugh as if mocking Baekhyun. His laugh sounded like he was hurting. Baekhyun felt a pain jabbed at his heart.

"I thought I could trust you to tell me the truth. I thought I knew you. I really did. But now I wonder if I actually know you at all Byun Baekhyun," Chanyeol shook his head. There was sadness in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun can only manage to say those words. He felt his heart ripping into pieces.

"No. You've said that too many times already. I'm really disappointed in you," Chanyeol gave him one last look. He stood up and walked to the bathroom. He slammed the door and Baekhyun can hear water running from the other side of the bathroom.

Baekhyun collapsed on the chair. His tears wouldn't come, but inside, he was dying. His heart ripped into tiny pieces. The words Chanyeol said cut him like a knife. He had hurt Chanyeol. He had hurt the man of his dreams. The one who he thought he could never have. 

Baekhyun hands trembled. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think. He just wanted to jump off a cliff right now.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun's tears finally came out. It wouldn't stop overflowing even when Baekhyun tried his best to hold it in.