Going to work was so awkward lately, it felt like everyone was ignoring me. Junhoe wouldnt keep a convo going for long and would avoid talking to me whenever he got the chance, while Hanbin just straight up didnt care about my presence at all.

I finished work early today and decided to head to the hospital to see my mother. 

"hey mom" i smiled as i saw her sitting up and eating her food. She'd been improving a lot lately, the doctor's said it was possibly because of how her environment was changing with the new visitors. I was told Hanbin visited her a lot and they really enjoyed eachother’s company.

"hey sweetie! Alone today?" she looked around me to see if anyone was going to pop up.

"lol you sound disappointed!" i joked as i got up into bed with her.

We cuddled for a few minutes as i updated her about work and school. She seemed to have noticed my change in attitude and kept asking what was wrong.

"it's hard to explain mom, i dont really get it myself"

She held my hand and rubbed my back to comfort me. "Since when did my little Jen become so serious? wait scratch that you were always serious" she laughed at her own joke

"is it about Hanbin?"

i looked up to meet her gaze. how'd she guess that!?!?

"what!?! noooo ahah" i panicked

"sweetie im your mother, it's hard to lie to me" She took a deep breath and waited for me to explain the situation

I refused at first but after a few more comforting words from her i decided to just let it out. I told her about my situation with Junhoe and how Hanbin was acting lately. I told her i didnt understand why Hanbin was acting the way he was and how i really didnt know what to do with Junhoe.

"mom i just want things to go back to the way they were" i sighed

My mom stopped rubbing my hand and seemed to get a bit more serious about the topic now.

"Jen you need to see this through the boys' perspective. I have to agree with Hanbin on this one, you're not really helping the situation by showing both of them your lovable side. And to him (Hanbin) it may actually look like you just dont care about either guys' feelings."

"mom, it's not my fault, i dont like any of them that way" i tried to explain

"ok stop Jennifer. You need to stop avoiding people and your feelings. You need to let people in and it's alright for you to depend on others. I know all that we are going through is giving you an insane amount of stress, and that you are never one to break your walls for just anyone. But sweetie, it's okay. it's ok to let people in and it's alright to depend on others. And jen no matter how much you deny it, im your mother and i have raised you. I know you inside out baby, and i can see your eyes spark when you're with Hanbin. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, if you---"

"woahhhh what!! ahahahah moom! you've gotta be kidding me!! Hanbin and i? really? He doesnt even think of me that way!" my face was burning up from embarrassment

"Jen i can see it in your eyes. No matter how much you deny it, you know im right when i say you have feelings for him. And just an fyi, you dont understand how much Hanbin talks about you when he visits me. That kid can write a book about what you've done all day. He watches you all the time and i think you going on that date with Junhoe really hurt his feelings. He only talks about you when he is with me. It's honestly the sweetest thing ever. He's so passionate about how you're doing and what your day is like and what you do when you're with me."

He only talks about me? Hanbin....likes me?

"i think you owe it to him to go and fix the mess between you two. He's a good guy sweetie and it would be a shame to see your friendship break like this."

I fiddle