6:00 am

The door bell rings

I was already expecting him to come, so i quickly took my apron off, placed the pancakes on the kitchen table and ran to the door.

"Junhoe!" i smiled widely as i looked up to him.

"i hope i didnt wake you up" he scratched the back of his head as he held out a bag that had a bottle of maple syrup i had asked him to get last minute.

"no not at all! Im glad you remembered the syrup" i laughed, i took the bag from him and asked him to come inside.

"look's like you've been busy uh?" he smiled as he tapped the flour on my nose

I grabbed his hand and brought him into the kitchen to present the food i'd made for us. He walked around, observing all the mess i had created and the food on the table. His warm smile and cheerful eyes brightened my mood and i was excited to share breakfast with him today.

We both sat at the table and started to eat.

"hmmmm Jen! this is amazing!" he smiled widely as his eyes shut, savouring every moment of the taste in his mouth

"it is really good isnt it?? i outdid myself didnt i?" i laughed

but Junhoe's laugh suddenly became more silent as he looked around the room once more. I assumed he was looking at how different it was since the last time he was here. I had emptied out a lot of what was in the house ever since my mom died. There was just too many memories, seeing everything only brought me more pain. So i donated a lot of the things and kept a box with the most sentimental stuff in a closet in my room.

"so.... how are you now?" his concern for me had been something that warmed my heart yet made me feel uneasy. I didnt like lying to him, he could see right though it all. So instead, i answered as vaguely as possible, knowing well enough Junhoe was too kind to pry if he noticed i didnt want to talk about something.

"it's getting better as time passes" i cut into my pancake and shoved it into my mouth so that we'd stop talking about this.

I mean, i wasnt lying. Things are getting better. Im actually talking to people now. But i'd be lying if i said i dont have times where i feel like the world is closing in on me and im being immersed into darkness. I've also been getting really bad panic attacks lately....  but i havent told anyone about those.

We finished eating our pancakes and got ready to go to work, "ready?" Junhoe asked

"yup" i smiled

________________________________________________________________

Junhoe and i walked into the IKON practice room to where all the guys were. I'd been coming back regularly to work with them. Everyone finally stopped giving me special attention after i begged them to act normal. But...... the only thing different from before now was Hanbin. We hadnt spoken since a month after my mother died. He wouldnt look at me nor would he speak. Our relationship was now singled down to 'yes/no' answers. If we could be apart, we would.

"JEN!!! You're coming on the interview with us!!! It will be fun! it's like a variety show type thing! They wanted us to pick a couple members of the team to be on it and we got you in!" Bobby seemed so proud of his accomplishment, he was shaking me back and forth as he gripped my shoulders. The excitement was pouring out of him, and i couldnt help but laugh.

"slow down buddy! What are you even talking about?" i managed to say after Bobby had calmed down

"cant explain, too much to do! i have to go to the stylist right now!!" he looked around to find his stylist, "JUNHOE! take Jen to the dressing room! We all need to be ready soon!" And with that final command, he ran away

Junhoe got off his phone and walked up to me, "let's go" he smiled 
"go where? what's going on?" i was so confused yet no one was answering me

"it's just a simple interview with one of our sunbae's", Junhoe grabbed my hand, and guided me to the dressing room.

We moved passed a bunch of people who were rushing to each IKON member. Holding brushes, straighteners, clothing, tissues... practically everything. Junhoe tighened his grip on my hand so i wouldnt fall behind as he walked through the crowd and made it to the dressing room.

"here you go" He opend the door and walked me in, "oh... Hanbin... i didnt know you were here" Junhoe added as i walked in to see who he was looking at

Hanbin had someone fixing his tie as he buttoned up the ends of his sleeves. He looked at Junhoe, than me... and then our hands. 

He was staring at our hands.

I didnt know what to do, Junhoe's grip didnt seem to loosen either.

"it's fine. im about to leave" Hanbin spoke coldly as he took the tie from the stylist and started to tie it himself before he walked out of the room, completely ignoring my presence.

As he walked out, Junhoe looked back at him. His hand loosened once he was gone "alright well i guess i'll leave you to get ready"

i nodded and closed the door behind him.

_______________________________________________________

I wore my outfit after my makeup was done. It felt weird to get all dressed up once again, after so long.

I bowed and said thank you to all the stylists when the manager of IKON came in and told me to get into the car where everyone was waiting.

"jen! i think you're in this car with me!" Junhoe pulled me to the right direction and opened the car door for me

I got in and sat down, the seating arrangements were different for this car. There were seats on either sides, leaving the middle completely open. Once you sat down, you'd be facing someone sitting on the seat on the other side of the car.

I had my head ducked down while entering to avoid getting my hair messed so i didnt get the chance to actually see who the other passengers of the car were. As i walked into my seats, i did notice 2 pairs of feet, one was obviously a girls and the others belonged to a guy.

I looked up to match the shoes to faces and to my surprise it was LeeHi..... and hanbin. The sudden awkward environment made me feel uncomfortable so i began to scroll through my phone to avoid the obvious staring from hanbin and the curious look from LeeHi.

Junhoe came in soon after and locked the door, taking a seat beside me.

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