"will you be okay?" Hanbin asked as he looked out the window

I tried my best to maintain a steady breathing rhytmn so he wouldnt catch on. "yeaa... i'll be fine"

"are you sure?" his eyes softened as he looked at me, examining every part of my body. From my mouth and chest to see if my breathing was irregular, to my eyes to see if i looked ok, and to my posture to see if i was about to faint.

"yea i'll be okay" i lied as i felt my palms get sweaty and my vision become blurry.

"okay..... well if you need something, call me?" Hanbin took a few steps forward to get a better look at me. But i took a giant step back as he got closer, so he wouldnt be able to see my change in expression.

I feel like he may have taken my steps back the wrong way because his face became still. He must have assumed it was because i was afraid the panic attack would start if he got too close. Hayi had told me he started to assume that they were because of him due to the day outside the YG building where i did everything in my power to get away from his grip. I started to feel worse about that now that i saw his expression on my own. He looked helpless and it pained me to think he thought i didnt want him by my side.

Hanbin cautiously took a few steps back, before opening the door to let the cold rainy air inside. "ill be going then" his eyes were focused on me as he left the house and entered the rain.

____________________________________________

The second he left, my breathing became ten times faster than it already was. It was so fast that i almost couldnt take in any air as i tried to inhale. It felt like i was just exhaling, making my throat dry and my heart beat increase.

I immediately fell to the ground, hitting my knee on the hard floor. It's funny how i couldnt feel the pain, my body went numb the second the rain started and i had no control over my senses.

My eyes became droopy and kept closing from tiredness. I could feel sweat dripping from my forehead as i crawled across the ground to get to the living room.

you'll be fine jen.

Is all i kept saying to myself. I thought i'd believe it if i said it for long enough.

The more i moved, the less i felt my body. My own weight was enough to make me collapse every few steps i took. I kept picking myself up off the ground, and fighting the urge to black out. I knew i needed to control this tonight.... i was so sick of the pain.

After moving a few meters away from the kitchen, my body had had it. I couldnt use any more energy to move..... i had none left. I leaned against the wall and engulfed myself in the silent darkness.

My arms stayed limp to the sides of my body as my vision became distorted and i felt light headed.

And like always, when i was at my peak of pain, i started to hear my mother's voice.

But this time, i couldnt make up what she was saying. It sounded like she was whispering... or mumbling.... or a mix of both. I tried to concentrate on the words but nothing seemed to make sense.

One by one, i started to connect the faint noises and the short words "she" was saying. Using every bit of my energy to stay awake and not give in to the panic attack.

He's...............................................in......................................you're.........................room.........................jen.....................hide

'he's in my room....' i thought to myself.... no one needed to tell me twice.... i knew exactly what was coming to me.

Without a second to think, i started to see his large, dark image every second lightening struck in the sky. He was wearing the same shoes.... the same jacket..... the same pants..... as hanbin.... who had just left.

I wanted so badly to scream for help, but all i could manage to do is let out a light breath of air.

His sharp smile was painfully visible now as his steps became faster and his image became larger.

I felt a tear run down my cheek as i realized i wasnt strong enough to face my fears tonight. I was scared and in pain and i had given up before even trying to fight.

Funny how things turn out right? The smallest things can destroy you and the biggest will use your weaknesses against you.

My mind was having a mental battle with itself, and i had no say on who'd win.

I was done for.

The dark shadow was at my feet now, waiting for me to accept my pitiful state so he could end me.

"JEN!" I heard my door burst open, letting the cold air come in once again as the rain followed its steps.

With the last bit of energy i had, i turned my head towards the door.

"....h-hanbin-n....." I tried to focus on his image but all i could make out was the outline of his body. My eyes kept closing as i turned back to look at the shadowed creature who was now kneeling infront of me, smiling wide enough to show his painfully sharp teeth and his blood thirsty dark eyes.

"Jen! Jen! Look at me!" Hanbin pulled me against him. He was soaking wet, water dripping from the tips of his hair and his nose. The part of my body leaning against him was now wet as well. He lightly tapped the side of my face to keep my attention focused on him so i wouldnt faint.

My breathing was still irregular as my sight kept going back and forth to hanbin and then the creature. Every look i took, made their bodies seem to fuse together.

Hanbin realized my panic attack was getting worse as my eyes widened and my breathing became louder.

He then knelt right infront of me (where the creature was) and held my face in his hands. "i need to you breath jen, just take slow breaths" his voice was so calming and soothing that my body almost listened to his commands. But then the shadow started to engulf hanbin's body and things only became worse for me, as confusion took over.

My eyes started to close and my body started to shut down.

I couldnt take it anymore.

"JEN! NO! Stay with me!" Hanbin screamed as his eyes filled with fear and his voice cracked between his words

After two tries of trying to mutter up something to say, i finally spoke... "i-i cant"

Slowly but surely, my eyes began to close.

__________________________________________________

Where am I?

I looked at my hands. They were somewhat translucent.

I then looked at the floor..... my feet weren't touching it.

I turned around, examining my surroundings to understand what was going on. 

I was in the hospital.

But no one was here.

I walked.....well floated..... around the empty halls, looking in to every room, at every empty bed..... at every empty surgery room.

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