I walked out of the building to get away from everyone. I shut my eyes and took a couple deep breath to understand what was going on. But no matter how many times i thought about it, nothing made sense. 

I didnt understand why Junhoe was acting this way and i didnt understand why i couldnt figure it out. It felt like i was missing a piece of the puzzle and it was infuriating.

I knew i shouldnt have come tonight.

I looked at my phone, it was 11:36pm now. Maybe if i left right now no one would notice.

I began to walk down the stairs of the building when i heard Hayi's voice.

"where do you think you're going?"

I turned around to see her at the top with her hands crossed and her eyebrows raised. Her expression made it seem like i had committed a crime.

"home... im going home" i answered

Hayi let out a fake laugh before speaking again, "so you're just gunna run away from your problems again?"

I was in no mood to hear her tonight. As much as i wanted to ignore her and just go home, i knew if i did she would just bring it up some other day. So instead, i turned around and walked up to her.

"you know what Hayi, i dont know what i did to you. But this attitude of yours towards me needs to stop"

"oh my attitude is the problem? Jen wtf is wrong with you? Can you not see what's going on?"

She shoved me, i stumbled on my footing as she came closer to hit me again. This time she hit my knee.... it was still wounded from the day i had the panic attack, and all the pain came rushing back after the impact of her hit.

I winced in pain as i looked at her with anger, "what was that for?"

"it's for ruining everything Jen..... everything"

I still didnt understand what was going on. 

I was getting really tired of having to decode everyone's emotions. First hanbin with his messed up conversation, than Junhoe with his drunk anger and now Hayi with her pitiful way of making me feel like trash.

"oh gosh you really are an idiot aren't you Jen?" She said once she noticed i really didn’t know why she was acting this way

"why does everyone expect me to know exactly how they're feeling! What's wrong with you Hayi? What have i done to you to make you hate me so much"

She let out a painful laugh

"i dont hate you Jen...."

I paused, not understanding what she was saying, "then..why all this?" i asked

"i envy you" Her eyes filled with tears as she looked away from me. Hiding the sadness that was engulfing her expression. She was in pain for some reason and none of it made any sense to me.

After a few seconds of sobs, she looked at me once more. Now with her red tear filled, eyes. "it wasn't Junhoe who saved you that day"

Her words echoed in my mind.

"what?.... i dont get what you're talking about" I was so confused. She was making no sense and i needed her to explain.

"Hanbin" she said his name as tears started to fall down her cheeks

"it was hanbin...... the day you had that panic attack outside the YG building..... hanbin kept ignoring the task we had to do and looking out the window at you. He immediately realized something was wrong the second it started to rain. I tried so hard to get him to ignore you, but nothing i did was working. It was like he was addicted to your sight, and every part in my body hated you for it."