UPDATED: 091016

6:46pm

One can obviously see that I am not fine at all. It is tiring to look at everything and try so hard to avoid one spot. Just one place that something inside you forbid you from looking at.

The boy.

When you say 'don't do this' to your head, it automatically understands it the opposite way. It takes it as look at it. Leave everything unlooked and focus on that thing.

It is hard not to obey what your mind say.

I was in trouble. Suffering in silence.

I was in chaos, disoriented, confused.

One can also see that I am not comfortable. It is either I smile too much, or have this grim face for the whole time.

I can't sit in one place for a minute.

I feel vulnerable.

I need to be out of here so I can breathe again.

But yet, I want to stay as much as possible. I don't know why. Despite being completely uncomfortable, I just want to stay.

The boy, or the guy, or I don't know what to refer to him, was in the middle of a group of friends. I guessed they are a family's friends sons and daughters whose age is like his.

He was radiant.

He could smile and you feel like the darkness don't know you anymore. He is the sun of the space and you are a little dark spot. This dark spot is something new now, because the sun expelled its darkness.

I am a new spot in this space.

Nevertheless, the funny thing is that I didn't look at him after that time anymore. I only steal glances at him from the corner of my eye, but not dare look straight at him. I know he will notice, or someone else will.

I don't want that.

I am not ready for that. I will never be.

I just wish once I leave this house, our paths will never cross.

I don't like going to parties or any gathering and keep pretending that I am social and I like people, but something inside me didn't mind. Something didn't mind this situation, because I secretly want to steal more glances at my new darling.

Oh. No.

What the hell I am talking about? I am admitting something my insides don't want to admit. Something my inside wants to get rid of.

I need to get out. Like, for real.

I drank something for my dry throat from a near tray and walked toward the door. Toward the door that might lead me to the sea, which is my decided destination.

I was surrounded with too many happy-for-god-knows-why people. It makes me uncomfortable. The clutch mom gave me was in my hand and the other one was helping me slide in between people.

I try to be no one as much as possible.

I try to be unnoticed, out of spotlights, as much as possible. But I was stopped. God, what was I thinking in coming here in the first place? How could I have thought I would get away with it?

A man with Mr. Kim exclaimed as he saw me, pointing with a lazy finger at me. "That, I presume, is Minjung's daughter?" Both men had this smile I hate the most. I hate when someone looks at me like I am a kid. A kid who's grown up fast.

A grown up kid.

Mr. Kim nodded with a proud smile, like I am something he would get really proud of. I am not even his daughter, why would he look at me like this?

I managed a preserved smile and a straight posture as I approached the two and bowed. The other man with a glass in his hand asked me, as if this is the only question that could start a conversation. "How old are you?"

I internally rolled my eyes. "Eighteen,"

He raised his eyebrows and gave Mr. Kim a meaningful look, again, like Mr. Kim raised me or something and was there every time I got one centimeter taller. "Kids, these days, they grow up fast,"

Kids. Really? Kids?

He spoke to me with a tight smile. "I have a daughter, just like you," Yeah, another spoiled brat. He waved at her and I turned to see that girl that's just like me. She was tall, like Yeonhee tall. Her hair is long. She was beautiful. Eyes big, teeth perfect. And she got curves in the right places.

Like me, he said. Yeah.

I blinked. One time before my eyes linked with him. It lasted less than one second, I'm sure it's even shorter, but it messed up my entire life.

My heart was literally in my throat.

I turned my head. I smiled nervously at the man and murmured something about his daughter. I wasn't sure of what I said.

I know that everyone heard my heart drumming against my chest.

Mom approached us, greeted the man who appeared to be Mr. Bae and that the two has previously met. I was still under the impact of that transient moment I shared with him. I wasn't listening to the useless conversation mom was having with Mr. Kim and Mr. Bae.

As the four of us stood there, Mr. Byun, Mrs. Byun and a young man joined us. I presume he is their son.

He was tall, he took his father's facial bold features and sharp eyes. I can see the affection and strong pride Mr. Byun have for his son.

He introduced himself as Byun Chanwoo, and I know mom likes this type of guys. She would date him if she wasn’t married, despite the age-gap.

I exchanged a polite smile with him, an unexpressive smile that only shows I am polite and welcoming. I would be polite since his mother was polite to us.

Also I guess we will see each other very often since we're next-door. During the time I spent here, I saw that Mr. Byun and Chanwoo didn't split whatsoever. He did introduced him to everyone, and dragged him along wherever he goes, as if people don't know him until now.

Every time my eyes lay on Mr. Byun, I will find Chanwoo next to him.

Chanwoo strikes me as the dream of his parents the come true. However, he seems really boring and dull to me.

Lifeless.

Eyes dull, with too many contradictions.

Anything he does or expresses, something in his eyes says something different.  

The eyes are the window to one's soul.

He's model-hot, yes. He has the height and the face that I dream my partner will have, but he lacks a lot of things I can't put my fingers on.

It's like he lacks being his own self. I know that all rich people do. 

"So where is your son?" Mom asked as she succeeded in showing that she is interested, she even tricked me. I blinked.

I didn't know they have two sons. If I remember clearly, Mrs. Byun only spoke about one son when she had breakfast with us. She also mentioned a niece who's older than me and recently got married.

I don't recall anything about a second son.

"I thought you met him," Mrs. Byun seemed surprised, and immediately, she looked over her shoulder and called out through the noise. "Baekhyun,"

It happened in a slow motion again, as I blink and uninterestingly move my eyes to where Mrs. Byun and mom were looking. I blink once again, as my eyes lingered to that now-familiar figure of the boy.

No.

It can't be.

Right?

No, no, no, no.

No, please. I prayed.

Don't be you, please, god.

Don't make him be the son.

I pleaded in the few moments the figure moved his face toward our direction, smiled at his mother and gracefully walked to where we stood.

Mouth dry. Eyes blinks way too much. Heart is bursting out of my mouth.

His name is Byun Baekhyun.

I tried to pronounce it in my head.

Baekhyun.

What a nice name, I said in my head.

He is rich, just like everyone else in here. He is more handsome and breathtakingly gorgeous as he come nearer. He is Mr. and Mrs. Byun's only son.

He ing lives next door.

Wow.

What a classic way to ruin my entire life.

The oxygen was out of this big room when he finally reached us. The air was absent when he stood next to me. I will die in a few moments as I felt his presence right next to me. A few centimeters away.

What a short distance. And what an impact he had on me, even though I just met him.

I want to step a few steps backward. I want to walk and stand next to Mr. Kim. It would be more comfortable to have such distance.

If this was their son, who is Chanwoo to them? An adopted son?

"I see, you inherited your parents in many aspects," Mom's smile turned into a smirk that only I can see. Her eyes shifted at me and her smile widened.

My ribcage couldn't contain my heart any longer as Baekhyun spoke. Oh. It feels strange to say his name, even if it's just in my head.

His voice, it was silk-like. Smooth. Clear. Real. Capturing.

His voice was different than I picture it to be. I actually enjoyed listening to someone's speech for the first time in my life.

I didn't intend to look at him as he was speaking naturally with them, but I actually took the advantage to have a good close look at his face.

He was taller than me. Not as tall as Chanwoo, who appeared to be the long-waited-for cousin. The cousin who came from overseas. The one this party was made for.

However, that was too risky. I took my eyes right away.

I knew it was a bad idea.

I know I am not bold enough to do so.

I preferred staring at the ceramic floor, my not-so-comfortable-high-heels, and everyone's choice of shoes. It is less risky than engulfing his face with my eyes while talking. Because I am just looking without understanding a thing.

How old is he? When it's his birthday? Why he didn't come to the breakfast that day? I wondered about too many things. Too many questions.

"Since Haneul is also new to the town like Chanwoo, it would be a good idea to showing them around one day, when convenient, of course," Mr. Kim suggested earning my attention as I glanced at him.

No. Put away the attention. I don't want it. I don't want Baekhyun, god I keep saying his name and it feels good, to look at me and see me.

Chanwoo's lips curled up in a simple smile. "Even though I was out of the country for more than four years, but I still remember everything about here. The streets, the good places, everything."

Mrs. Byun responded to the boy. "But, still. Things have changed now."

"I am sure it is not much," Chanwoo replied with the same smile. His eyes met mine and nodded. "I could show Miss Haneul around myself,"

Yeah, I would definitely love that. He is hot, yes. But, thanks. I want no tours around here. I am not staying here for long in the first place, so why do it?

Is he being flirty or what exactly?

I felt my mom's hand on my arm, as she rushes me to say something back to the boy. Well, what I want to say is 'thanks, I am not staying for long, and even if I did, I will do that myself'. But mom will probably burry me in the beach the next day.

I nodded politely, and forced the words out of my mouth. "Thank you,"

I kept many words in. For example, do that to someone else, or don't you dare do this public flirting again.

He put his hand flat against his chest and bowed slightly. "My pleasure,"

Eyes locked with mine and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I couldn't help but break the eye-contact, and kept my eyes closed for a millisecond.

Mr. Bae chuckled and raised his eyebrows. They noticed that he is being too nice and too flirty. "You haven't changed, Chanwoo." He looked at mom, as the only new person to this community, and explained. "Chanwoo resembles his uncle more than he does to his own parents. He spent most of his years with him to the point that the two copy each other's behaviors."

Mr. Byun and Chanwoo exchanged a smile, a knowing smile. Obviously, they hear such statements very often. Mr. Bae continued. "Some people mistake him as his own son,"

Mom nodded with an overrated smile. "I did myself. At first I thought Chanwoo was your son. I mean, you two even look-alike."

They chuckled and Mr. Byun patted Chanwoo's shoulder. "He is like a son to me,"

Mr. Byun looked at Baekhyun, my Baekhyun, and stated. "This one is his mother's son,"

I felt strange. Baekhyun suddenly excused himself. He walked away, and my eyes were on his back as he went to two guys and a girl.

The smile that transiently vanished when he was with us was back to his lips.

.

22 June 2014

Different time. Different day.

I'm miles away, but he is still in my head.

AN: Aother chap is up!

Thanks for the new subbies and of course the new voters! 

7! Thank you so much! 

Please comment!