Philocaly:

A pair of arms are wrapped around my torso and I fall backward. I land on what feels like another body and I can feel someone breathing onto the back of my neck, I wind my head around to find Wonwoo staring back at me. The sun is shining brightly onto the rooftop blinding my eyes. I start to tear up in frustration. I screech loud and I start beating the wrists of Wonwoo furiously and rapidly.

I am trying to release myself from his grasp, but I am unable to break free. I breath in hard, biting the insides of my mouth, holding in every drop of my tears.

"Let me go.."

"What were you trying to do?" 

"FOR SAKES JUST LET ME GO!" I squeeze hard and I finally escape and I sprint for the ledge pulling all my body weight until I am pulled off by Wonwoo once again.

"Leave me alone,"

He shakes his head.

"I'm not letting you,"

I am making countless attemps to get back onto the ledge but it always ends in Wonwoo pulling me back down.

"Just let me do it."

"NO!"

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

A clap of thunder strikes up above and clouds are gathering.

"THE MORE THEY TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS, THE MORE I WANT GO UP THERE AND SEE THEM!"

"THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER!"

"WHAT DO YOU ING KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE?"

He is silent, without anything to say.

"See? Nothing. You... No one.. will ever understand what I went through." 

My sinuses are starting to feel stuffy and I can't help myself but whimper. 

"Get.. yourself together." he says.

"I WILL NEVER GET MYSELF TOGETHER, I'VE ALREADY LOST MYSELF!"

"There is still time."

"THERE IS NO TIME! I WANT TO DIE, WHERE I CAN STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH BULL"

"Come on, Mingyu. Don't give up to suicide... It's not right. I-"

"WHAT'S RIGHT THEN? HUH? TO LIVE KNOWING THAT PEOPLE WILL MAKE FUN OF ME, I AM TIRED OF BEING HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I AM TORMENTED, AND TRAUMATIZED."

"You just need someone to talk to.."

Heavy rain starts to splatter, soaking my clothes.

"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS ALIVE! I DON'T NEED ANYONE, I'VE SURVIVED BEING ALONE. AND I DON'T GIVE A THAT I WILL DIE ALONE BY MY OWN MEANS!"

"MINGYU! YES YOU SURVIVED IT ALONE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WERE HAPPY"

"WHAT DO YOU CARE OF ME BEING HAPPY? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALONE."

"YES I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALONE BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU END YOUR LIFE OVER A STUPID REASON LIKE THIS!"

"MY FEELINGS ARE NOT STUPID, I CAN'T TRUST PEOPLE ANYMORE, I AM SO TIRED OF BEING BETRAYED BY THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE.."

"Mingyu.. You don't have to trust me, love me, or even give a about me but I will not stand around knowing that you are hurt. Please speak to me. I will listen." he pleads.

I shake my head, he's toying with me. 

"I can't.."

"You can!"

The chilliness of the rain is sharp and as my clothes get wet I feel more isolated and cold.

"I.. am doing this.. and you can't stop me.." 

I am walking back towards the edge of the roof until I am interrupted by the pain of a smack towards my head. Wonwoo is red and enraged he locks my wrists and his hands tightly and it's starting to hurt.

"You're not going to commit suicide."

His eyes are looking back at mine trying to dig through my soul, his expression is icy like his voice, all deep, the emotion is gone. He looks down at my arms.

"You will not hurt yourself anymore because I will be here to make sure you are protected."

Lies... He is lying to me..

"You're just going to fool me... like everyone else!"

He comes in closer, my face only inches away from his.

"I'm not like.. everyone else... I won't hurt you." he lets go of my wrists. 

"And. I don't want you to die.." he finally says for the last time. 

I want to surrender so badly, but he doesn't want me to. I will never know if his intentions were sincere or not, but something inside of myself is still faithful, full of hope that I will be freed from this cage, the prison that will keep me sad.

I start to break, crying and my head falls onto his chest. I am hitting his shoulders but he locks me in his arms, though the rain is cold as ice, I feel as if his embrace is engulfing me in the inferno. 

I can't understand why he feels the need to help me, or even be here for me. Despite the fact, that I am so flawed and imperfect. I inhale his scent, he smells like shampoo and sweat. 

There are times when I can't help but laugh at myself, my life is full of drama.